Everything and Nothing

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A/N: Yep, another story. Hey, here's a little shameless self promotion; check out my other fic 'Always' It's another M/M one . Now, where was I? Everything and Nothing came to me in a dream, and I felt like I just had to write this down. Enjoy.

Prologue

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We both know.. how it will end... but I'd do it again..

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Always on your tail, and never truly gone; what am I? It's one of those little riddles that annoy me because I have to spend a millisecond contemplating on something so pointless. I don't have anything against riddles really, it's just an irrational feat of mine. I'm the type of person you'd categorize as a lazy ass by first glance. I like taking it slow and wasting time, but I also like speed and quick wits. But danger pulls at me the most. Danger, because there's a thrill to these types of things, like knowing that you'd either suffer the consequence or get out of it held high on a single thread.

But one way or another, that thread will break. Nothing holds anything down forever, because forever doesn't exist to me like it does to some. There's no such thing as a happy ending, because the afterlife might just suck too; like how I personally think that more people are thrown down hell's gates instead of the happy fields and poofy clouds of heaven. I'm a little apprehensive about these two, because while I know I won't be earthbound or living for much longer, I don't know if heaven and hell really do exist, and if they do, will I be dragged down to hell?

Because I hack, and I stalk, and I lie and I steal.. but will I have so much as a small chance of I say I regret doing the things I do? Even if I'm lying? I like what I do, and I do what I like, but that doesn't make me a bad person.. right?

What I am, to me, is some sort of shadow. Because I'm always at his back no matter what, and I'm always there for him, consequences aside. You might think I don't know what's good for me, and you just might be right, but I there's this feeling saying I need to look out for him, because.. because he's my first friend, only best friend, and he's.. he's Mello.

(… I'll breathe now..)

And I'm being stupid right now. There's no chance that they'd take me for custody, and they're going to kill me, and I won't have a say in it. Still I don't feel any regret, since after all, I'm doing this for him. I'm doing this for Mello. I ignored him when he'd told me that what I'm on right now is a suicide mission, but damn it, if I'm not enough to stop him, and because nothing can, I won't let him leave me like this. It hurt the first time, and I don't think I can take a permanent second.

If he'll die today, I'm going down with him.

(… breathe out.. breathe in…)

I act like an idiot to these guards, armed with guns like I'm an indestructible kind of army of one. I smile despite the situation. Isn't it funny, how the world sees in only black and white? That white is the color of purity and innocence, and black is sin and evil.. But what's red? Red is supposed to be love, fire and passion, and I know I'm none of those three. Either way, this world of black and white.. no one sees that no one is innocent anymore, and we're all just cowards, hiding behind guns, toys, and maybe.. goggles too?

(… breathe in… breathe out..)

I see the bullets coming quick straight for me. And they hit me, easily piercing through my skin (the metal is hot..) and I'm almost blind by the searing white pain I feel. I want to be numb, but I want to feel so much. I fall to the ground heavily, because my legs give in and I think I'm lying still in my own blood. Still bleeding, all red and crimson and wet and warm..

(… breathe, breathe… breathe in...!!!)

I think I see why red is the color symbolizing love.. It hurts. But this pain.. it'll be worth it.. because we'll still stick together, afterlife or not, because he's Mello, and I'm Matt. And..I think.. I know..

I just might be in love with him.

(… breathe out….)

And I'll be dying here.. just like this...

(.. shh..)

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End Prologue

A/N: Uh.. so how was that for a prologue? Let me know what you think. Please review.. :)