Disclaimer: I hate lawyers. Oh was that the wrong one? My bad. I don't own.
Kurama's Grand Master Plan: Mistletoe
His heart pounded as his prey appeared in sight. She stood there with a pretty smile, chatting up the hosts of the party. The hosts responded enthusiastically, charmed by the petite girl's affable demeanor. She laughed at Jin and Chu's antics as arms flailed in an attempt to reenact their Dark Tournament victories. Perfect! She was distracted!
Kurama weaved through the crowd that separated him and his object of affection expertly with full intentions of pouncing on the oblivious prey. As he neared closer, his heart pounded wildly and his eyes gleamed in anticipation. There was no way she'd escape him this time! He would get! His! Kiss!
Jump and miss!
Kagome's head snapped up right at the moment Kurama made his move, nimbly dodging to the side, careful of colliding into Jin and Chu. A red blur flew past her, barely managing to stop before he ran into the snack table. She giggled at the look of shock on the handsome youko's face. She thought it was funny that he thought that he could catch her off guard like that.
Kurama scowled as the little minx avoided his attempt to kiss her. Kagome scuttled backwards with a knowing grin on her face. He made another grab for her but she slipped right out of his grasp and disappeared into the crowd. He visibly slumped as her lilting laugh could be heard even amongst the busy chatter of the party. Jin and Chu, aware of Kurama's plight, had a hearty laugh while the fox stood on the side pouting.
This was what, the fifth time that he'd tried to kiss her in this single month? Oh that was just pathetic. He had women and men throwing themselves at his feet and here he stood, a centuries old fox trying to woo a high school student. Which wasn't working by the way.
He scratched his red head in disappointment while a faint snicker was heard in the back of his head.
Having problems?
Kurama mood just got a lot worse. Shut Hiei, just shut up. The deep laughter slowly faded from his mind as Kurama downed a shot of the spiked punch.
One day, he told himself, one day he'd get a kiss from her!
•••
The very next day he began to carry out his great master plan to get the highly prized kiss only to find that…
He had no plan.
What? You can't be serious. Kurama paced around his apartment with a candy cane in his mouth. I always have a plan! What is wrong with me?
He thought for another good hour but all the plans he came up were either completely unreasonable, doomed to fail, or involved people he'd rather not ask help from. And his candy cane was half gone! Now he was mad for two reasons!
The doorbell rang and he plucked the candy from his mouth and made his way to the door. Opening it, he was greeted by a smiling face.
"Kuwabara, nice to see you," Kurama greeted, stepping aside to let the large man in. "Sorry, but Yusuke's not home." Kuwabara scuffed his shoes on the welcome mat before slipping them off, leaving them beside the door.
"Nah, not here to see Urameshi!" He clapped a warm hand on Kurama's shoulder before walking into the living room and peeking around. He saw the numerous crumpled papers and broken pencils laying on the floor and tables and shot Kurama a curious look. The aforementioned blushed and coughed.
"Was there something that you needed, Kuwabara?" he asked, not so inconspicuously changing the subject.
Kuwabara blinked before suddenly remembering the reason why he dropped by. "Oh! I wanted to ask you if you got any mistletoe you could give me."
"Mistle…toe?"
Kuwabara gave Kurama a disbelieving stare. "No way. You don't know what mistletoe is? Aren't you supposed to be the plant expert of something?"
Kurama felt the back of his neck heat up and sought to regain his dignity. "Well I'm sure I do know it just not by that name! If you would describe it…?"
"Well its leaves are green and look kinda ovalish? Oh and it has red berries and I'm pretty sure they're poisonous." Kuwabara gestured wildly to Kurama in an effort to describe the little plant.
The plant manipulator racked his brain for a plant with Kuwabara's description. "Erm, do you mean Viscum album?" Seeing Kuwabara's blank look, he continued. "About this small?" Kurama held his hands up and spread his fingers in an approximate guess of the plant's size.
Kuwabara shrugged, "Well I guess so. Here I have a picture." He dug in his pant pockets and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He unfolded it and flattened it against his thigh before showing it to a peeved Kurama.
"Kuwabara?"
"Hmm?"
"Why didn't you just show me that in the first place?"
He looked sheepish. "Oh yeah, huh, sorry."
Kurama refrained from rolling his eyes and grabbed the piece of paper, scanning the picture. "Yeah I was right, this is Viscum album alright, nasty little things. They're parasites and leech off of its host plant, nearly killing it."
Kuwabara nodded, not comprehending anything. "Uhuh, anyways! Do you have some that I can have?"
The youko looked perplexed. "What do you need it for?"
"Eh? Don't you know? It's almost Christmas!" Seeing Kurama's confusion, he continued. "Ya know, holiday traditions? No?"
Kurama shook his head.
Kuwabara's eyes widened before he settled into a grin. It felt so good to know something the great Kurama didn't. And he was gonna milk it for all that it was worth.
"Ahhhh. I see young pupil! Let the mighty Kuwabara learn ya!" Kurama stifled any sarcastic comments that threatened to be let loose. "Mistletoe, also known as Viscum album –" Kurama rolled his eyes. "-is a part of great Christmas tradition!"
Kuwabara struck a pose that make Kurama's eyes twitch. "Oh the romance! The passion! Whenever a pair is caught standing underneath, they must kiss each other!"
Kurama raised an eyebrow. "And?"
A hearty laugh was let out at Kurama's expense and he let out another twitch. "Oh Kurama you innocent youngin!" Kurama bit back a remark that would've made grown demons blush.
"When equipped with such a commodity-" Kurama didn't even know Kuwabara knew that word "-just think of what one could do! The timing and positioning would have to be perfect but you would get the perfect kiss! Perfect. Holiday. Kiss!"
"And this is what you need it for? To make someone kiss you?" Kurama asked dubiously.
"No! Not just anyone! My sweet love, Yukina!" Kuwabara proclaimed to the world and Kurama.
The peanut gallery of one stood there and scratched his head. "I don't know what to tell you except I'm sorry because I don't have any mistletoe." He shrugged as Kuwabara gaped. "I told you, it's parasitic and I don't want it killing any of my plants."
Kuwabara's frame slumped in disappointment. "Aww man! Now I have to buy one!" He eyed Kurama's red mane, "You sure you ain't got a seed or two?"
He shook his head negative, "No, sorry Kuwabara."
"Ahh, oh well. Time to hit the stores." The gentle giant rubbed the back of his neck, and walked over to the door. "Thanks anyways, 'Rama" He slipped on his shoes and left, closing the door behind him.
Kurama turned back towards his living room mess and sighed, running a hand through his hair. He went around and picked up the pieces of paper that lay scattered on the carpet until he got to the piece with the picture of mistletoe on it.
Huh, Kuwabara left this behind, he mused. To think that this little plant is part of a holiday tradition to get people to kiss! Kurama chuckled quietly to himself. Kuwabara's grand master plan was creative but it was doomed to fail. He shook his head at Kuwabara's stupi...di...ty…
And froze.
He looked down at the mistletoe. Mistletoe? Christmas? Kiss?
It was perfect!
Clenching the paper in his fist, he got a determined gleam in his eyes. He had a plan! Eyeing his garden that was visible from where he was standing, a grin came on his face.
It just might work…
Just watch out my dear Kagome!
•••
"Fuck," Kurama cursed. These little mistletoe plants were just not agreeing with him!
He carefully cut multiple slits in the bark of a branch of an apple tree in his backyard, making sure they were not too deep as he didn't want to hurt his little tree even more. He had a palm full of the little berries in his hand, all with their outer skin peeled off. Kurama carefully inserted them in the slits and placed his palm over them, releasing a steady flow of energy. This time, he hoped for the best.
The last couple times, he had either put too much energy into them so they shriveled up and died, or he put too little, making them too young and small.
His brows furrowed and he bit his lip in concentration. After a minute of steady energy releasing, he pulled his palm away. Bright red little berries shined in the sunlight and vivid green leaves shifted in the wind. Kurama smiled and wiped his forehead with his rolled up sleeve.
He carefully plucked a few sprigs and cradled them carefully in his hand, leaving a few still in the tree. Kurama stood, holding his gardening tools, and walked back to the back door, avoiding stepping on the various flowers and plants littered across the garden. Yusuke often teased him about girly-ing their shared house with flowers and whatnot but never once did Kurama hear a complaint. Probably because the "chicks" digged it.
He made it to the porch and looked up when a soft thud was heard. Hiei stared back at Kurama impassively with his arms crossed and black cloak fluttering behind him.
"Ah Hiei, hadn't seen you in a while." Kurama said pleasantly.
He grunted and nodded towards the apple tree with the mistletoe growing on it. "What is that thing that you're growing fox?"
Kurama turned his head to peer behind him. "Ah! That! That's mistletoe! Apparently its part of some holiday tradition that requires people to kiss whenever they stand underneath it."
"And you're growing it because…?" Hiei trailed off while reaching out and grabbing a sprig by the stem, holding it up for closer inspection. Kurama hurriedly snatched it back, pulling it close to his body like a precious diamond.
"Gentle!" Kurama glared while Hiei rolled his eyes, muttering something about 'tree hugger'. "I'm growing it because it is essential to my plan to get Kagome to kiss me."
Hiei paused in his mocking of Kurama to stare at Kurama. "You're still after that girl? I would've thought that after what – like 15 tries –you'd realize that you're never getting that kiss and give up."
Kurama flushed out of indignation, "I will get kiss Hiei, just watch! This plan will work! And I will never give up!"
A deep chuckle escaped Hiei before he had a chance to hide it. "Heh, go ahead, I'm not stopping you. In fact, I'll be there to laugh at you the whole entire way."
The red head glared at the fire demon. "I appreciate your support but it's not needed, thank you very much. I will succeed," Kurama spoke haughtily.
Silence descended on the pair as Hiei contemplated his next choice of words.
"Wanna bet on it?"
The Saturday before Christmas had come and he and Yusuke bustled around the house, hanging up the necessary decorations in preparation for the party. They had been proclaimed the designated hosts of the annual party this year and had openly embraced the title. The party was a great way to reunite with old friends, demonic and human. And for Kurama, it offered a perfect opportunity to implement his grand master plan.
He had started at nine in the morning and had been methodically hanging little sprigs of mistletoe all over the house. Some were blatantly in view while others were hidden to the eye unless looked for.
Kurama finished hanging the last of them in the living room before dusting his hands off merrily. Yusuke came from out of the kitchen and whistled appreciatively. "I'd say that we did pretty damn well with all the decorations and shit." He reached up and lightly tapped one of the bulbs of the Christmas lights that were strung around the room.
"Can you say that anymore crudely?" Kurama mock glared at Yusuke who brushed off the comment and instead pointed towards a stem of mistletoe that was hanging amongst the Christmas lights.
"Mistletoe? Really?" Yusuke gave Kurama a knowing look. "Trying to score a kiss with a certain somebody?"
"Does everyone know about her?"
"Please, it's like you're trying to let everyone know! You're that obvious." Yusuke continued. "The sexual tension is palpable!"
Kurama grabbed his staple gun and chucked it at Yusuke's head, knowing the maoh would dodge. Pity, really.
"Come on man! It's so obvious that you two like each other!" Yusuke laughed.
Kurama fell back onto the couch, sinking into its depths before peeking up at the laughing toushin through his red fringe. "Really?"
The two erupted in laughter and a cheer had settled in the household, perfect for the Christmas celebrations. Kurama smiled to himself as Yusuke hustled back into the kitchen and clattering was soon heard. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back on the top of the cushion. If what Yusuke had said was true about them, then maybe, just maybe, he'd get more than just a kiss from Kagome.
Maybe, for the first time in a while, he'd have a solid relationship.
•••
Kurama's eye twitched. Of all the places that she decided to stand in, she just had to stand right there where there was no mistletoe hanging overhead. What the hell?!
Kurama's palm hit his forehead and slowly made its way down. Sonuvab-!
Kagome's laugh made its way to Kurama ears and he lifted his hand off of his eyes. He creeped out from behind the kitchen doorway, keeping an eye on her. She had apparently spotted a friend because she had moved forward ever so slightly…right underneath a sprig of mistletoe!
Move Kurama move!
Barely did he make it halfway across the living room before Kagome's lilting voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Oh Hiei! How are you?"
Kurama halted mid step and looked up just so he could confirm the fact that his ears hadn't deceived him. And there he was, right alongside Kagome under that mistletoe, that short, conniving, midgety, jackass, jerkoff, brooding, nevergonnagetagirl, basta-
"Hn. Fine, miko."
"Hiei! Haven't I told you to call me by my name!" she scolded good-naturedly. Hiei grunted and turned away. To anyone looking in, they seemed like the perfect set of good friends.
Except Kurama, of course, who thought that even this little bit of interaction between the two was absolute blasphemy.
That bastard! He's trying to sabotage my plans just so he can win that bet! Kurama thought angrily to himself. That's my kiss!
In slow-motion he could see it, Hiei pointing up towards the ceiling and Kagome looking up and blushing prettily. Kurama's feet had moved before the movement had registered and it was all a blur as he reached the pair under the demonic little plant. He faintly realized his arms reaching outwards and his hands entangling themselves in her hair, pulling her against him, because all that mattered were the soft, pink lips that were pressed against his with a bruising force.
Kagome gasped in surprise, not expecting the sudden kiss. She had been looking at the mistletoe one moment and in the next, she was engaged in a very nice kiss with very sexy being. Fingernails lightly scratched against her scalp and the nape of her neck, eliciting a soft moan from her and making her knees go weak. Luckily for her, Kurama had looped an arm around her waist and pulled her tight against him, letting her feel the sculpted planes of his front but also keeping her from melting to the ground in a puddle of goo. Tongues explored as well as hands before an amused cough cause them to jump apart.
Hiei stood on the side with a look that was a mixture of smug and slightly disturbed. Kagome blushed heavily and tried pulling away but the fox tightened his grip on her waist, preventing movement. Hiei ignored it and leveled his gaze with Kurama's. He raised his hand, palm up.
"I win, fox."
Kurama stared at Hiei before he finally understood.
"No! I got the kiss so I win!"
Hiei arched a dark brow before elaborating. "No, you bet that you'd get that kiss with you and her under the mistletoe." He gestured up towards the ceiling. "I don't see you two under any mistletoe. In fact, she and I were until you interrupted. Therefore, I believe I win."
Kurama muttered something unpleasant underneath his breath. He hated losing, but just this once, he'd relent. "Fine Hiei, you win. " Kurama pulled the hand that was in Kagome's hair out to dig in his pockets. Pulling out a $20 dollar bill, he handed it to Hiei.
Hiei smirked. "Pleasure doing business with you." With that, he nodded to a flushed Kagome and disappeared with a blur.
With the distraction gone, Kurama returned to the prize in his arms. She looked up at him with plump lips parted and an adorable red blush. Oh wait, an angry red blush?
Oh crap.
"What was that? Was that kiss just a part of a bet? Did it mean that little you? You jerk!" Kagome slapped a hand on his chest with a little more force than necessary. "I never want anything to do with you!"
Kagome struggled in his grip but Kurama didn't loosen his hold. Instead her molded their fronts together and bent so till they were nose to nose. His voice had deepened to a dark rumbled as her purred, "You must be very mistaken if you think that kiss meant nothing because you have no idea how long I've waited to do that."
Kagome's eye widened and her mouth was parted into an 'o'. She slowly shut her jaw but wide eyes remained fixated on smoldering green ones. But then those pretty blue eyes gleamed and what he thought were innocent lips widened into a devious grin. Kurama could feel her hot breath on his lips as she whispered, "What took you so long?" and swiped her tongue slowly against his lower lip before nibbling on it oh so lightly.
And with that, Kurama decided that even though he failed to get the perfect holiday kiss and lost a bet, this was a damn good Christmas.
Ho ho ho.
•••
Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanukkah!
Something....Kwanzaa!