Chapter 1

Marissa sat holding the bottle of vodka like it was her only friend in the world. She was in a daydream thinking back to what her life may have been if only... Sunddnely she hears a scream coming from the other room it startled her so much that she dropped her bottle. "SHIT" she screamed. She ran back to he room and there lay her sweet little boy crying. "What's the matter honey?" she said. "Mommy it hurts so much." "Where does it hurt?" He pointed to a spot on his stomach and she touched it and he screamed with pain. She frantically picked him up and ran out to the car and put him in. She started the car and she put it in drive and with a squeal from the tires she peeled out of the driveway. She called the hospital and told them that she thought her son may have apendicitis and that she would need a bed for him at the entrance. Tears were streaming down her face as she watched her little boy scream in agony. "Hold on honey we will be there soon everything will be fine." she said. She really didnt know if it was true. In her mind she kept thinking what if she lost him. She started crying even harder when she thought about that. The five minute car ride to the hospital seemed to take an eternity. When they pulled up there was a bed waiting and she picked him up and put him onto it and they rushed him into the hospital. Her mind was racing while she ran after them and she couldn't stop herself from thinking about if he died. When they finally got him into the E.R. a doctor asked her to go to the waiting room and fill out some paper work and she looked at him like he had just slapped her. "You want me to leave my son?" she asked with tears rolling down her cheeks. The doctor looked at her sympathetically and after a few seconds said "We can't do anything for him until you have filled out the paperwork ma'm I know it's hard but you have to do it." Marissa sighed and looked at the helpless little boy and said "Mommy will be right back okay." " Okay" he said then she quietly left the room. The nurse was outside the door and said "Right this way ma'm." she led Marissa into the waiting room and she walked up the front desk to get the papers as Marissa sat down in a chair. Her hands were shaking and tears were still steadily rolling down her cheeks. The nurse sat down beside her and said "Well you look in no shape to be writing anything so I will just ask you the questions and I will writed down the answers." "Thanks," said Marissa wondering why everyone was being so nice to her. In fact, this worried her even more. Marissa was thinking about stuff and she didn't even here the nurses first question. "Ma'm are you okay?"she said with a worried look on her face. "Huh, yeah I'm fine. What was your question again?" Marissa said.
Nurse- What's his full name?
Marissa- Parker James Cooper.
Nurse- Date of birth?
Marissa- July 15,2010
Nurse- Your name?
Marissa- Marissa Cooper.
Nurse- Father's name?
Marissa looked as if someone had just dropped a bomb she was racking her brain to think of what to say.
Marissa- If it's okay I would rather not disclose that information.
Nurse- That's fine ma'm.
They continued for about 10 minutes with the questions and Marissa just wanted to scream her baby boy was in there in so much pain and agony and she could'nt even be there to hold his hand. "Well I think we are about done here you can go back in to see him now." the nurse said. Marissa stood up wiped the tears from her eyes and walked back to where he was. He was asleep and the doctors said they would be taking him into surgery in about 30 minutes. Marissa just sat next to him holding his hand until the doctors came in to get him. She woke him up and said that they were gonna take him and make him all better and she kissed his forhead and whispered into his ear "I love you forever and always." "I love you forever and always too mommy." he said. While they rolled him into the O.R. Marissa just stood there like her whole life had just been ripped from her arms. She walked into the waiting room and found Vouge magazine laying on the side table and she picked it up and started flipping through the pages. She couldn't even concentrate on the magazine. She got up and walked up to the nurses station and said "My son is in surgery and I was wondering if I left you my cell number could you call me when the doctor comes out I was going to take a walk." "Sure ma'm just leave your name and the number and I will call if he comes out." "Thanks a lot," she said writing down the name and number. She gave it to the nurse went out the doors and started walking. She really had no idea where she was going she just knew that sitting in the waiting room wasn't working. It was a warm April night and the sky was lit up from the nightlife. Marissa walked for about 10 minutes when she came across a park that she took Parker to a lot. She sat down on the bench and looked into the distance at the playground equipment that Parker and her played on and memories overcame her like an ocean tide. She broke down crying and she felt like she could just die.