Wow. Okay. I felt like writing something depressing and angsty. So I wrote this songfic. I have to say, it's really depressing. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: I'm on so obviously, this is FANfcition. I don't own Mai HiME. Fricken Sunrise does. T.T. If you'd like to donate to my cause of purchasing them for myself, message me :D
Thanx to my awesome beta, AnimeJock.
Song used: For You by Staind
No one would expect Fujino Shizuru; straight A student, student council president, tea addict, and just plain beautiful, though slightly sarcastic, girl, to be found sitting alone on her bed in her small apartment room at 8 PM on a Saturday night. Even less expected was the choice of music pumping through her sound system, the tears streaming down her face and the small injuries on her body.
To my Mother
To my Father
It's your son or
It's your daughter
Are my screams
Loud enough for
You to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?
Her Fan Club would be shocked to find that this was their icon's reality.
Her family was rich, just as everyone believed; she could have anything she wanted at a snap of her fingers. But the price she had to pay was much higher than any of the idiots who chased her around could have imagined.
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence get's us no where
Get's us no where way too fast
When Shizuru was nine, she had her first experience with her father's anger. He'd come home from work, in a rage over some business deal that had not gone as planned. She had no idea, and had run up to him to tell him all about her fun day at school. That's when he hit her for the first time.
His fist came out of nowhere, and she found herself on the ground utterly stunned. A red mark remained on her cheek, tears welled in her eyes. Her mother had silently watched the exchange, and quietly turned to alcohol.
The silence
Is what kills me
I need someone
Here to help me
But you don't know
How to listen
And let me make
My decisions
Her mother never did anything to help her over the years; she just drank herself out of awareness. Her father became angry more and more often, yelling how she was good for nothing and hitting her. Shizuru never dared to tell anyone. In public, her dad became a wonderful guy, kind, caring; the perfect father. This was how her mask had begun to develop.
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence get's us no where
Get's us no where way too fast
As the years progressed, everything got worse. It was like the man was doing everything in his power to destroy his daughter from the inside. When she was offered the opportunity to attend Fuka Academy, she leapt at the chance. Boarding school meant that she could get away from him, at least on the weekdays. She could finally relax a little, but the mask she'd built up during her childhood remained.
All your insults
And your curses
Make me feel like I'm not a person
And I feel like
I am nothing
But you make me
So do something
Then she met Natsuki, who became the first person she really loved.
After the Carnival, somehow her father had found out about her 'unnatural feelings' towards another girl. She had been forced to see him at her Graduation, though he didn't mention anything. He had smiled and asked her home for the weekend. She couldn't refuse, so she told him certainly, she'd be home the next day; her friends had planned a party for her. Her father had been about to insist, kindly, that she come straight home, but for once, her mother stuck up for her.
Cause I'm fucked up
Because you are
Need attention
Attention you couldn't give
When she arrived at her father's house the next morning, the first thing that happened when she stepped through the door; was a beer bottle smashing into the wall behind her. She ducked, and thankfully was not injured by it.
"You fucking dyke!" He was screaming, "You'll ruin the Fujino reputation!" As usual, her mother was passed out at the table, an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor near her.
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence get's us no where
Get's us no where way too fast
As powerful as Shizuru still was from her time as a HiME, she was no match for her father. Not because he was actually stronger than her, but because half her life had been spent in fear of him, and that fear doesn't leave so easily.
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
The silence get's us no where
Get's us no where way too fast
She'd just returned to her apartment. She had a bruise on her right side, and a small cut just under her eye, which was turning black. She'd fallen back on her bed, and let the beat pump through her, numbing her thoughts.
The music was so loud; nothing could be heard over its roar. That's why Shizuru was so shocked when she felt another presence next to her. Strong toned arms wrapped around her, and she tilted her head back to see Natsuki's face.
"I-" She tried but choked back as fresh tears began following familiar paths down her cheeks.
"Shhhhh," Natsuki calmed her, and somehow her quiet words rose above the dismal tune, "I'm here for you, I always will be."