Repercussions

by Stemwinder

* COMPLETE! * ***AU WARNING*** 4th story in the WN series. Two months after Lee and Amanda's night together, the repercussions of their actions make themselves known.

1. Repercussions

Repercussions

Disclaimer:  The usual.  I don't own them, don't make money from them, the plot is purely my idea, the only thing I own.  Oh, and I own some of the poetry, that is mine. I have no money, so don't bother to sue me.

Quotes also taken from the following songs and musicals:

"Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling

"Amanda"  By Boston

"Cats"  Written by Andrew Lloyd Webber

"Phantom of the Opera"  By Andrew Lloyd Webber

"Aspects Of Love"  By Andrew Lloyd Webber

"Aida"   Composed by Guesippe Verdi

"Jesus Christ Superstar"  By Andrew Lloyd Webber

"Anastasia" Soundtrack,  Original score composed by David Newman

"I knew I loved you before I met you"  By Savage Garden

"Arms Wide Open"  By Creed

"Angel Of The Morning"  By Merilee Rush

"Never Had A Dream Come True"  By S Club 7

Setting:  Post 'Wild Night.'  I strongly suggest reading that first for background details. Summer 1985.

Premise:  About two months after their night together, the repercussions of their actions make themselves known.

Rating:  Pg-13

Archive:  The Kruchev List has blanket archival privileges to all my SMK fics

Authors notes:  I am well aware that it is out of character, and that gives me reservations about posting it.  Keep in mind that this Whole series is TOTALLY AU, because we know that it would never have happened on the show.  But. . . what if it did?  It popped into my head completely formed, and held my brain captive until it made it's way onto my computer.  I couldn't resist the challenge!  So, that said, please don't kill me, but do offer constructive criticism and praise, both in heaping doses!  Flames will be doused with my trusty high power spray yard hose.

Many thanks this time around.  My Beta team seems to have expanded (LOL!)  To Barb, Breezy, Dani, Dawn, Jacqueline and Jessi, you guys are all the best!  (BTW, major understatement!)

**********

Prologue:  Coming home

King House

Thursday, August 15, 1985.  11:00 PM

"and they say it'll work out fine.  Was it all a waste of time?  Cause I knew, I knew I'd lose you.  You'll always be special to me."

(From "No Need To Argue")

Amanda King had finally finished unpacking everything from her two month stay at the beach.  'I still can't believe we stayed for two months.  But now, I almost wish we could go back.  This house . . . I almost expected to hear him tapping on the kitchen window tonight.   Who are you kidding, Amanda?  Lee has been trying to get rid of you for the past two years.'

The house was quiet with Dotty and the boys finally asleep, and Amanda wandered down to the family room.  For some inexplicable reason, she decided to look out the front window, hoping to see a silver corvette parked down the street.  It was no secret that he occasionally came without stopping to say hi.  And maybe if she saw him, she could tell him . . .

That's when she noticed the dark sedan right across the street.  It definitely did not belong to the house it was parked in front of.  In fact . . . Amanda could make out two figures in the front seat.  One of the profiles was familiar . . .

She was not going to have the Agency poking around in her life anymore.  Quietly slipping out the back door,  she slunk around the neighbor's house to come up at the end of the street.  She slipped across the street and made her way beside the car.  Inside, she found Fred Fielder and Bob Abernathy.  Shaking her head, she knocked on the passenger side window. 

The two agents inside jumped at the sound, and Abernathy finally rolled down his window when he recognized their visitor.  "Mrs. King!  To what do we owe this honor?"

"Don't even try it with me.  There's no reason for the two of you to be out here, and you know it.  Leave.  Leave my family alone!  Stay away from me, my boys, my mother.  You can tell Mr. Melrose, or Mr. Stetson, or whoever the hell sent you to watch me that I have no intention of breaking any of my oaths of secrecy, I just want to be left alone!"  With that, Amanda twirled around and headed back toward the house.

The two agents looked at each other in bewilderment.  Neither had ever seen Mrs. King in anything but a good mood.  "What do we do?"  Fielder asked.

"We move out of her sight,"  Abernathy responded.  "Make sure she doesn't see us.  And report to Billy in the morning, like we always do."

Fielder started the car and around the block, picking a more inconspicuous location.  It was going to be a long night.

**********

Chapter One:  I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date.

King house,

Friday, August 16, 1985 8:00 am.

"Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning.  Someone mutters and the streetlight gutters and soon it will be morning. . . "

(From "Memory")

Dotty West was really starting to worry about her daughter, Amanda.  In the past two months, her daughter had been acting very strangely.  Okay, so Amanda had been acting strangely for the past two years, but now, she was acting like she'd lost something very, very important to her.  It started on an innocuous Saturday morning, barely a week after the boys started summer vacation.

Amanda had stayed out all night, but at least this time she had actually called first.  On the phone, she'd seemed upset, but when Dotty tried to question her about it, Amanda brushed her off, saying it was just a late night in the editing room, and she was tired, but she had to finish this project before her morning deadline.  So, Dotty had let it pass, figuring she could question Amanda in the morning.  But when Amanda arrived at the house, she said something about getting away for the month, her boss had given her some time and she wanted to leave before he changed his mind.  So Phillip, Jamie, Dotty and Amanda rushed around the house and packed some things for a month at the beach.  That one month turned  into two.  The whole time, Amanda was moody and silent.  The boys had noticed and kept to themselves for the duration of their stay.  And every time Dotty tried to find out what was going on, Amanda left the room without a word.

Amanda had started sleeping later and later.  She didn't seem interested in the outside world anymore.  If Dotty hadn't known better, she would have thought that Amanda looked like someone who had her heart broken into tiny little pieces.  Actually, sometimes Dotty wondered about those late-night editing sessions.  And wondered who HE was.  There had to be a HE.  Could it be her boss?  Or someone else at work?  Dotty didn't know for sure.  All she knew was her daughter was getting worse every day.  She'd said she was never going back to IFF.  This made Dotty especially curious.  Had Amanda been fired?  Was that the reason for the quagmire her daughter seemed to be swimming in these days?

The sound of pounding feet erupted upstairs, only it didn't sound like the boys.  The pounding was coming from Amanda's bedroom, headed towards her bathroom.  Dotty started to run up the stairs to see what was going on, when she was stopped in her tracks half-way up.  It was indeed emanating from her daughter's bathroom.  Amanda was sick.  Although for the life of her, Dotty couldn't figure out why Amanda would have a stomach bug in the middle of summer.  And her daughter hadn't even touched her dinner last night.

"Oh.  My.  Gosh."  Dotty's face fell as the possible implications of her daughter's strange behavior hit her.

**********

Chapter two:  Drowning in despair

Lee's Apartment, 8:00 am.

"If a great wave shall fall, and fall upon us all, Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own?"

(From "Wherever You Will Go")

Lee rolled out of bed after another restless night.  Ever since Amanda had walked out of his apartment and out of his life two months ago, everything inside him seemed to fall apart.  He wasn't eating or sleeping very well. A few times, he even thought about finding a woman to pass the night with, but he always ended upcoming home alone.  His black books were starting to gather cobwebs in the back of his drawer.  He couldn't bring himself to even go trolling in them.  'Admit it, Stetson, you don't want any of them.  You want Amanda.'

He'd tried for the past two months to try to reach her.  For two months, she hadn't appeared at her home.  He'd checked out hotels and motels in the surrounding area.  Maybe she'd gone to a relative's house, but he couldn't bring himself to look there.  Then he'd just given in to the inevitability that she just didn't want him.  His work was suffering.  Billy was threatening to chain him to a desk.  He knew, without asking, that Billy hadn't added that letter into Amanda's folder yet, hoping that she'd come back.  But Billy couldn't stall forever.  And when he did add the letter, Lee knew it would really be over.

Lee had started acting like the man he'd been before Amanda, just with out the playboy persona attached.  Rumors around the water cooler had him seeing someone outside the Agency, and that this someone would be the one to pull him off the market.  They didn't know how close to the truth that was.  Lee knew, that if Amanda would accept him into her life, he'd never so much as look at another woman again.  He could now say, without stumbling over the words, that he loved Amanda, with all his heart.  If she wanted him to, he'd cut his heart out of his body and lay it in her hands.

He headed to the shower to prepare for another agonizing day without his Amanda.

**********

Chapter three:  The Consequences of Our Actions

King house, 11 am.

"There's no use looking back or wondering, how it could be now or might have been.  Oh this I know but still I can't find, ways to let you know. . . "

(from "I never had a dream come true"  By S Club 7)

Amanda finally made her way down the stairs to find her mother sitting on the couch, staring straight ahead.  Without a word, she headed into the kitchen and started making a pot of tea.  She knew her mother had heard her this morning, even though for the past week she'd tried to hide the sickness.  She couldn't hide the truth from herself any longer, though.  And now, she had to tell her mother.  That might not be so bad, but what she really dreaded was telling the boys.  Would they understand what she'd done?  She didn't know.

"Amanda?"  Dotty's voice floated into the kitchen as the tea kettle began to whistle.

"Yes, Mother?"

"When you're done, come in here and sit.  We need to talk, and I think it's past time, don't you?"

Amanda nodded her head mutely, even though she knew her mother couldn't see.  She couldn't get the words past her throat.  She poured two cups of tea and walked into the living room.

Dotty took in Amanda's stature.  The bowed head.  The slight slump of her shoulders.  She hadn't seen her daughter this upset since her divorce with Joe.  'But,'  she mused,  'this is worse.'  Dotty picked up her tea and took a sip, and placed it back down on the coffee table.  "Amanda, who is he?"

Amanda's head shot straight up.  Did her mother know, or was she just speculating.  "Who?"  She managed to choke out.

"I'm not sure, but I'm guessing, that there's a reason that you've been getting sick every morning for the past week and a half.  So, I'm asking, who is he?  The father, that is."

Amanda's head dropped again, and tears started to stream from her eyes.  Dotty scooted over to where Amanda was sitting, and drew her into her arms, just as she had when Amanda was a little girl.  "Oh, darling, I'm sorry, I should have put that more gently.  But you know tact has never been my strong suit.  I'm guessing that whoever he is, you must have loved him very much."

"I do,"  Amanda sobbed.  "But. . . he. . . he. . . couldn't . . . "

Now Dotty was shocked as the rest of the puzzle started to fall into place.  "How long have you known?"

"About two weeks,"  came the muffled reply.  "We only. . . once.  And. . . And. . . Oh, Mother!"  The sobs began anew.

Dotty began a quick mental calculation, figuring it had to do with that day she came home and packed them up to head to the beach.  Then, a new, horrifying thought formed.  "Amanda, did he. . . Did he hurt you?"

Amanda brought her head up to see her mother's meaning flashing from her eyes.  She brought the sobs under control.  "No, he didn't hurt me, not. . . it hurt when he told me. . . well, he didn't tell me, but I could see it. . . what am I going to do?"

"Does he know?"

Amanda shook her head in the negative.

"You should tell him.  He has a right to know, and maybe. . . "

"Mother, there's no happy ending here."

"You should at least tell him.  If not now, then soon, Amanda.  And there is one other little matter."

"The boys,"  they said in unison.

"I haven't decided how to tell them yet, Mother.  How do I tell them that I had a . . . a . . . and what happened. . . after that talk we had when Mike Coleman's older sister got pregnant?  How are they going to accept me telling them one minute that it's wrong, and then I go out and. . . oh, Mother, this wasn't supposed to happen."

"I know, dear.  But they're already wondering what's been wrong with you for the past two months.  I think they might be relieved to know.  I've heard what they've been saying at night, worrying that you're having a breakdown, or if someone hurt you.  I didn't know what to tell them, because I didn't know for sure myself."

"When will they be home?"

"Jamie's spending the night tonight at Bobby McAlister's.  Phillip will be home around five.  And I was about to go out to pick up some things at the grocery store.  Unless, that is, you. . . "

"You know, why don't I go?  It'll give me a chance to. . . to get my mind. . ."

"Go on, dear."

**********

Chapter Four:  Unwanted Meeting

A grocery store in Georgetown,  noon.

"Her dreadful vengeance, Like the lightning of heaven, on me will fall. . ."

(from Aida)

She didn't know why she drove into Georgetown for the vegetables.  Maybe that was why she'd stayed away for so long.  She didn't want to be tempted to be HERE.  From outside the store, she could see the corner of IFF.  But she didn't want to go to another store when the best produce around was here.  As long as she didn't see a certain silver Corvette. . .

"Amanda!"  Francine's voice cut into her reverie.

Amanda turned to face her former coworker.  "Hello, Francine.  How are you?"

Francine noticed right off that something was bothering the tall brunette.  And she would bet a box of DeVerona Chocolates that the name of the person was one Lee Stetson.  Amanda was very pale, and her usual smile was nowhere to be seen.  "I should be asking you that!  Where have you been?  Half the office has been abuzz with gossip over why you were gone.  Billy's been wondering when you're coming back-"

"I'm not coming back, Francine.  Mr. Melrose should know that.  I left my letter of resignation right on his desk."

Now Francine was shocked.  "But, he said. . . he said you'd requested an extended leave.  Family problems, he said."

'So I would still have a job,'  she thought.  She had assumed that door was long since shut.

"And Lee just, well, he's gone terribly downhill-"

"I don't want to talk about . . . Mr. Stetson."

Francine had never heard such a cold note in this woman's voice before, and was surprised to hear it now.  She'd seen the way Amanda looked at Lee, the admiration shining from her eyes.  And maybe a hint of something more.  Possibly Lee had turned her down?

The mention of Lee's name had taken it's toll on Amanda.  She ran, forgetting her purchase, for the back of the grocery, where she knew the bathrooms were.

A look of concern crossed Francine's face.  She'd never really gotten along with Amanda King, but most of the animosity these days was just for show.  As a woman, well, she just couldn't stand by and not know if Amanda was okay.  She followed Amanda towards the bathrooms, in time to hear the sounds of a very sick woman.

A few minutes later, Amanda exited the stall, and saw the look of concern cross Francine's face one more time.

"I, uh, just wanted to make sure you were okay,"  Francine stuttered.

"I'll be fine, I've just got. . . some sort of. . . bug."  'Yeah, a nine month bug,'  she finished in her head.

Francine took in everything Amanda  was saying.  It would explain why she was so pale, but her sudden seeming hatred of Lee Stetson?  There was another explanation that would make sense, but Francine didn't even want to consider it.  Lee and Amanda?  No, it couldn't be.  She was nothing like Lee's type.

"I've . .  I've gotta go, Francine.  Nice seeing you, "  Amanda breezed out of the grocery store and to her car, forgetting her produce.

Francine stood shaking her head for a moment before going back into the store for her own purchases.

**********

Chapter five:  Belligerence

IFF, Billy's office, 12:45 pm.

"Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near.  Sometimes it seems, if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here. . . '

(From "Phantom of the Opera")

"It's been two months, Billy.  She hasn't come anywhere near here.  I gave up trying to reach her at home."

"She's home."

Lee's head popped up.  "Since when?"

"She came home two nights ago."

Lee stood up and started to pace.  "Is she. . .?"

"According to Fielder, she's fine.  She spotted him last night, and after everyone else in the house was asleep, she came out and told him, rather belligerently, to get away from her and her family."

"Belligerent?  Amanda?  I could see her acting like that to me, but not to. . . "

A knock sounded at Billy's door.  "Come!"  he bellowed.

Francine came in and closed the door behind her.  "Billy, why didn't you tell me that Amanda handed in a resignation letter?"

Lee rounded on Francine.  "How did you find out that?"

Francine shook a little inside, she'd seen that look in Scarecrow's eyes before.  That killing look.  Every Agent knew that if Scarecrow had 'That' look, you'd better step out of the way and hope he wasn't after you.  And if he asked a question of you with that look, you'd better answer.  "I ran into her while I was on my lunch break.  I'd stopped by that little supermarket down the street to pick up some things I needed for a little party tonight."

Lee's face started to relax, but his eyes were still blazing.  "How. . . How was she?"

"She didn't look good at all.  Her face was pale, and she got sick while she was in the store."

Lee started to head for the door before Francine's voice talking to Billy stopped him.  "Billy, why wouldn't she want to talk about Lee?"

Lee twirled form his position at the now open door.  "What did she say, Francine?"

That look was back with a vengeance.  "I was filling her up on the office gossip, and I mentioned you.  She said and I quote, 'I don't want to talk about Mr. Stetson."

Lee walked out the door, his shoulders slumped, dejected.  Amanda wanted nothing to do with him.  His last hope was dashed.

**********

Chapter Six:  Explanations

King House,

Saturday August 17, 6:00 pm

"I've been changed, yes really changed, in these past few days, when I've seen myself, I've seemed like someone else."

(From "Jesus Christ Superstar")

"Fellas, I need you to sit down.  We have something to talk about."  Amanda said quietly, patting the couch on both sides of her.

Phillip and Jamie King looked at each other, wondering what they'd done wrong now.  Their mother had barely said two words in the past two months, and now she wanted to have a family meeting.  Shrugging their shoulders, they sat down on either side of their mother.

Amanda put an arm around each boy.  It was hard to believe they were almost ten and twelve, and now she was starting all over again, and in similar circumstances.  The main difference this time is that this baby's father wouldn't be there at all.  "Look, I know that I haven't been the greatest company recently, and I know you've been worried.  I've got something very important to talk to you about, and frankly, I'm not sure where to start."

"Mom, are you sick?"  Jamie blurted out.

"Good going, snotbreath,"  Phillip called to his brother.

"Phillip, don't call your brother snotbreath,"  Amanda scolded instinctively.  Turning to her youngest, she said,  "No, I'm not sick.  And no, I'm not dying, or anything like that."  She paused, trying to collect her thoughts.  "You remember when we had that talk after Mike's sister found out she was pregnant."

Both boys gave each other a strange look.  They were both thinking the same thing, 'Please, not another sex talk!'

"Mom,"  Phillip started,  "We both understood.  Neither of us wants to be in that situation."

"Yeah, Mom, besides, I mean, I think what you said was right."

"That's not what I was getting at, fellas."  Amanda bowed her head.  'This is not going well.'

A light suddenly appeared over Phillip's head.  "What you're saying is you told us how wrong it was, and then you went out and. . . and. . ."  He was so mad, he couldn't even finish his sentence.  He jumped up from the couch and ran to the room he shared with Jamie.

Jamie had his own epiphany as Phillip finished his torrent.  "Mom?"

"He's right, but it wasn't quite like that."

"Are you going to marry this guy?"

Amanda shook her head.  She still thought this discussion was unreal.  "Jamie, I know what happened was wrong, but it. . . it happened, and I'm and adult, and I have to live with the consequences of my own actions."

"Doesn't he want a baby?  If he didn't, why did he. . ."

Amanda truly didn't know how to answer this one without giving Jamie the wrong idea, or the right idea, depending on the situation.  "I don't quite know how to explain, Jamie.  He's, well, he sees thing differently than most people do.  He didn't have an easy life, and he, well, it's just not going to happen."

"Who is he?"

Amanda smiled at her son and shook her head.  "Who he is doesn't make any difference, Jamie.  I know he's not ready for a family.  I knew it when. . . well, when.  At the time, it didn't seem to make a difference."

"Do you love him, mom?"

Amanda at least had an easy answer for this one.  "Yes, I love him.  I'm not sure if he knows that, but, well, let's just say that he has a hard time loving anyone."

"Then why were you. . ."

Dotty's voice came from the bottom of the stairs.  "I think that's enough questions, Jamie."

Jamie looked from his grandmother to his mother.  Leaning over, he gave Amanda a kiss on the cheek.  "Even moms make mistakes, I guess.  I'm not mad, just, well, confused."

"So am I, Jamie.  But, we'll manage somehow.  And your brother will come around, he just needs time."

Jamie got up from the couch to leave the two adults alone.

Dotty spoke first.  "Phillip didn't take it well."

"No, he didn't.  I'm just glad that at least one of them accepts it."

"You really should tell him, whoever he is."

"Mother!"

"Well, you should."

"I will when the time is right, Mother."

"And when will that be, Amanda?  When the child is grown up?  When the child starts asking about it's father?"

"No, soon.  Just not now."

Dotty shook her head and headed up the stairs.  Amanda headed to the back door and went outside to the gazebo.  She sat there for a long time, never noticing the man who was lurking in the shadows.

**********

Chapter seven:  Running Into You.

Rock Creek Park,

Sunday, September 1, 1985,  1:00 am.

"Tomorrow's so far away, there's something I just have to say, I don't think I could hide what I'm feeling inside another day, knowin' I love you"

(From 'Amanda')

Amanda, Dotty and the boys were enjoying their Labor day picnic in the park, along with many other families.  Amanda watched the boys playing baseball with a bunch of other kids, and rubbed her abdomen.  The morning sickness was still rough, and she'd spent all week trying to keep it at bay as she prepared the boys for the beginning of school on Wednesday. 

"Mother, I'm going to take a little walk,"  Amanda said, turning to Dotty.

"Want some company?"

"No, I just need a little quiet time.  It's been in short supply this week."

"That it has, Amanda.  Go on, I'll keep an eye on the boys."

"Thanks,"  Amanda said with a wave, and walked towards a copse of trees.  With a maudlin feeling in her heart, she remembered the last time she'd been in Rock Creek Park, that fateful night when August Kincaid died.  When she'd shot him.  She still couldn't remember pulling the trigger.  She'd been so shaken up, and hadn't wanted to go home.  She and Lee had walked here, and he'd held her right in this very spot.  Then, they'd headed to his apartment, and the rest, as they say, is history.  One night of unbridled passion was all it took.  She hadn't even thought of the repercussions at the time, she thought ruefully.  And neither had Lee.  She still hadn't found the courage to face him and tell him he was going to be a father.  Would he be happy?  Would he want a part in the baby's life?  Or would he just walk away like nothing ever happened.  That was her worst fear, that one day she'd have to tell her child that his or her father wanted nothing to do with him or her.  How could she break a child's heart like that?  The tears unwillingly found their way down her face.

Lee was behind a nearby tree when he'd seen her.  He didn't know if he should dare go to her, all he knew was those tears were damn near killing him.  He never could bear to see her cry.  All this time, he'd been trying to picture her happy to be rid of him, rid of the Agency.  He'd even wondered if she'd found someone, now that she had that normal life she'd always craved.  Then, he heard her speak.

"Oh, Lee, what am I going to do?"

Did she know he was there?  No, she was facing in the complete opposite direction, her face tilted up to the sky.  But he did hear her right, she was calling for him.  His heart leapt in his throat as he decided to make his move.  He came from behind the tree, and gently laid his hand on her shoulder.

She jumped at the contact, wondering who was behind her.  She spun around, prepared to confront an attacker, when she looked up into the most beautiful hazel eyes in the world.  "Lee?"

"Yeah, who else sneaks up on you like that?"

She wanted to throw herself in his arms.  She wanted to kiss those lips, and tell him just how she'd missed him.  But she would not make a fool out of herself.

He wanted to draw her in his arms.  He wanted to kiss those beckoning lips, and tell her he loved her.  Instead, he took her hand, and the familiar bolt of electricity passed between them at that simple touch.  He couldn't take it.  With the gentle pull of his hand, he drew her close to him, chest to chest, face to face, heart to heart.

Amanda thought she had to be dreaming.  Lee was holding her, just like in the fantasy she'd tried unsuccessfully to tamp down over the past months.  His eyes were flashing with desire as his lips lowered to kiss hers.  Gently at first, and then demanding.  A thousand emotions raced through her being, and then that little demon, mistrust, reared it's ugly head.  She pulled herself away from his intoxicating embrace.

Lee couldn't believe the emotions that had taken hold over him with just one kiss.  But then he saw Amanda turning from him, and the hurt crept back.  And so did Francine's words, about her being sick, and pale, and so not Amanda.  Not his Amanda.  He was afraid she'd run like she had the last time.  "Amanda, please, we have to talk."

"Just seems your mind is on more than talking,"  she mumbled.  Seeing him coming closer from the corner of her eye, she turned around and held out her hand in a stop motion.  "Please, don't touch me.  I can't take it."

He could see the hurt, the pain, and the anger written over her face.  He also knew he wouldn't be able to stand it if she fled, which she was sure to do if he tried to touch her again.  "Look, I won't touch you, just don't run off again.  Deal?"

Amanda looked at him warily, but finally agreed.  "Deal."

"Amanda, I want to talk about what happened.  I need you to know how. . . how sorry I am.  I never meant to take advantage of you.  And I never wanted to hurt you.  Do you remember when we were talking on the couch, what I said to you?"

"We said a lot of things that night, Lee.  And there were some things we probably should have thought about that we didn't.  I don't want to talk about that, but we do have to talk."

"Amanda, I just-"

"Lee, please, no more excuses about what happened.  I'm not even mad about it anymore.  I don't even know if that is what I was mad about.  And it wasn't so much you I was mad at, it was myself."

Now Lee was confused.  He figured whatever he had to say could wait just a little longer.  Maybe she would tell him how she felt, and he would know where he stood.  "Why were you mad with yourself?"

"For being a fool.  For. . . for the crazy hope I've held for such a long time.  A hope I realized that night could never be."

'What hope?'  he thought.  Could she have been hoping that he loved her?  If she was, wouldn't that mean that she loved him?

"But that's not really the point.  I know you could never. . . well, I mean, it was silly of me even to think that I was what you wanted."

He stepped an inch closer.  "Amanda,"  he started huskily.  "You are what I want.  Don't you remember what I told you that night?  I didn't even realize it myself, but it came out anyway.  Amanda King, no woman has ever made me feel the way you do.  Not ONE!  I wanted to tell you again the next morning, but I was so afraid that you wouldn't . . . that you couldn't feel that way about me.  I tried to find you that morning.  I went down to the parking lot, I trolled the streets looking for you.  I headed to the Agency to find your car gone.  And when I made it to your house, you'd disappeared.  I was so sure I'd lost you.  I thought you never wanted to see me again, but even that couldn't keep me away.  You never knew it, but I was there as soon as Billy told me you'd come home, and that you'd told Fielder to get away from your house.  I watched you sit in the gazebo just staring into space.  I figured that if I could at least see you, then I wouldn't feel so. . . so empty.  I've never felt that empty before.  Amanda, I wasn't really ready to admit it that night, but I. . . I love you.  I have for quite some time now, but I couldn't. . . well, you know."

Amanda was stunned.  He loved her.  He wasn't drinking anything this time.  He was in full control of his faculties, and he loved her!  And then it hit her.  He'd be angry with her as soon as she told him about the baby.

He stepped closer, and placed his hands gently on her forearms.  "Amanda, I love you.  I haven't even so much as looked at another woman without wishing that it was you.  I tried to get you out of my head, but I couldn't.  Because it wasn't my head, Amanda, you are my heart.  Please,"  he whispered,  "Please, say something.  I've been so worried, since the moment that you walked out.  When Francine told me about bumping into you in the store, and how you were so pale, and . . . "

"Lee, there's something I have to tell you, and you aren't going to like it."

'Have I been standing here, spouting out my heart to her, and been wrong in what she feels for me?'

"Lee, I . . . I love you too, but I know that you're going to be-"  she was cut off as Lee's lips descended on hers as she told him that she loved him  His heart was racing.  Hers was keeping time with his at the intoxication of his kiss.  All thought flew out of her head.

Finally, he drew back.  "Amanda, whatever it is, it doesn't matter.  All that matters is that you love me."

"Lee, this is important,"  she said, wiggling out of his embrace, but taking his hand in hers.  "Why don't we find somewhere to sit.  Please?"

Lee didn't know what was bothering her, but he acquiesced.  She led him to a picnic table just outside the copse of trees, but out of sight of her mother and the boys.  She didn't want anyone's hopes getting up, least of all her own.  They sat down facing each other, their hands entwined as their bodies had been a mere ten weeks ago. 

Amanda didn't want to break the spell, but he had a right to know, before they took this any further.  He had a right to chose to walk out on her before  any commitments were made.  It was only right, seeing how he made no commitments that night.

"Lee, there's no easy way to say this."

"Whatever it is, it won't affect the way I feel, Amanda."

"Lee, I'm pregnant."

A dozen emotions crossed Lee's face. He wanted to scream for joy, opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He finally whispered, "A baby? Our baby?"

"Yes, Lee," Amanda nodded, a smile breaking out on her face. "Our baby."

Lee didn't have to ask anymore. An inane grin broke out on his face, and he stood, drawing her into his arms and twirling her around, laughing. They were both soon dizzy, and fell to the ground, where he finally kissed her socks off.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dotty had gone in search of her daughter in time to see the tall man pull her to her feet and swing her around.  "Maybe there will be a happy ending after all."  The look of love on Amanda's face told her that this must be the mystery man.  And the answering look on his face told her she didn't have to worry, this man had it bad for her daughter.  Dotty headed back towards the boys, content in her hope that it would work out.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Amanda,"  Lee said as he finally came up for air.  "I love you.  And I'm so sorry for what you must have been going through these past two months.  I should have been there.  If I hadn't been so stupid . . . if I hadn't hesitated when you walked out, if I'd had the guts to tell you sooner . . . oh Amanda!  I've been such a fool.  I didn't even see what was right in front of my face, until it was gone.  Until you were gone."

Amanda smiled, this was better than any dream she'd ever had.  Lee was here with her, and he felt the same way she did.  She reached up a hand to his face, and brushed his cheek.  "I was stupid, too.  I should have stayed and talked to you that morning.  I shouldn't have run off like I did."

"Where did you go, anyway?"

Amanda hung her head slightly.  "I have a friend who has a house in Ocean City, right by the beach.  She told me in May that she might not be able to make it out this summer, and offered if I wanted to use it. . . so I stopped on the way home, and called her, and she said go ahead.  So I took Mother and the boys with me."

"That explains why I couldn't find you.  I looked all over for you.  Tried every hotel in a three state radius."

"You did?"  She asked with a smile in her voice.

"Yeah, I did.  I was worried when you and the boys and your mother just disappeared into thin air.  For a while there I thought you'd never come back."

"I wasn't sure I wanted to come back.  I thought I'd made a complete fool of myself . . . I thought you'd never want to see me again . . . after that night, I wasn't sure I could face you, thinking that it meant nothing to you.  That maybe I meant nothing to you."

"Amanda, you mean everything to me.  Maybe I was too stupid to realize it then, but losing you . . . losing you brought everything into perspective for me.  I realized that I didn't want to spend another day without you.  I should have come to you when I knew you were home, but after Francine told me that you didn't even want to talk about me . . . to even hear my name."

"I was afraid that if I talked about you, I might reveal to Francine how I really feel, and then she'd run right back to you, and the two of you would have a good laugh over it.  Or that she'd laugh right in my face.  And just what is she going to say when she finds out that you're going to be a daddy?"

"It'll shock her, that's for sure.  Maybe."

"I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you tell her,"  Amanda laughed.  "And Mr. Melrose."

"Would not be so surprised."

Amanda gave him a look.  "What do you mean?"

"Amanda, the man did not become section chief by being blind.  At least, that's what he told me after he got through chewing me out over your resignation.  He accused me of being blind, though.  And he was right, I was blind."

"Oh really?  And what did you say to that?"

"I told him that I knew, and that I'd realized it too late."

"Better late than never, Scarecrow."

"Yeah, definitely,"  Lee answered, and lowered his lips to hers once again.  This kiss was tender, and gentle, and full of the love he felt for her.

She slid her arms around his waist, and coasted them up his sides, and rested on his chest, savoring in the feel of having him so close.  As her hands reached his chest, she felt something in the pocket of his t-shirt, something round, but hollow.

Lee could feel the gentle pressure of her hands running up the length of his torso, and felt where they rested.  Then he felt the light pressure of the object in his t-shirt pocket pressing against his skin.  He felt her pulling away slightly, a puzzled look on her face.  'Ah hell,'  he thought.  He was waiting for the right moment.  And he didn't want her to think this was a snap decision.  It was something he'd been thinking about for the past two months.  Since he started wondering what it would take for him to prove to her that he loved her.

"Lee?"

What was it she'd said to him when they were hiding out in the swamp?  'No guts, no glory?'  Maybe it was time to apply that little piece of logic to his personal life.  He'd never know if he didn't ask.  "Amanda, I don't want this to come out wrong."

"What . . . who?"

"No, Amanda, nothing like that,"  he whispered, pulling her up to a sitting position with him, and started reaching in his pocket.  He hadn't been sure he was ready when he put it in his pocket, but now, she'd already made him the happiest man in the world.  He maneuvered himself into a kneeling position and pulled his mother's engagement ring out of his pocket.  "I'd planned on carrying this until I could convince you, and I'd thought out every argument that you could make, and every response.  All I know is that I love you, and I want you with me the rest of my life.  I don't ever want to lose you, Amanda King.  You mean everything to me.  You are my heart and my soul.  Amanda, will you make me even happier, so I can spend the rest of my life making you happy?  Will you marry me?"

"Lee,"  Amanda said, speechless.

Lee laughed, realizing he'd finally done it.  She was speechless!  "Is that a yes?"

"This is awfully fast, Stetson."

"Not really, I'm trying to make up for lost time.  We've been getting to know each other for what?  Almost two years now?"

"In October,"  Amanda added.

"I know that there's a lot about you that I don't know.  But I want to find out.  I'll understand if you don't want to do this right away, I mean, I still have to meet your mother and Phillip and Jamie.  I know them, but they don't know me.  I want to try.  I want to know them, Amanda."  Suddenly, he wondered if she'd told her family.  "Um, Amanda, do they know that you're. . . "

"Yes, they know."

Lee ran a hand through his hair, realizing the implications of it.  She obviously didn't tell them that she was marrying the father.  What must they think of him?  What had she told them?

"If you're wondering what I told them, I didn't tell them much.  Phillip stormed out of the room, and hasn't talked to me since.  Jamie asked a few questions, some about you, but I was kind of round-a-bout with my answers.  It'll take the boys some time.  And as for Mother?  She would like nothing more that to see me getting married again."

"If you want, we can start now.  Me meeting your family, that is.  I'm willing to do this however you want, so long as we end up together, Amanda."

Amanda smiled at the thought of the Scarecrow at her beck and call.  She brushed her lips across his for a quick kiss.  "I have a lot of fence mending before that comes, Lee.  Phillip's mad at me for more than just. . . There's more to it."

"Like I said, you call the shots.  I can try to be patient.  But you still haven't answered my question, Amanda."

"Nothing slips by you, does it?"

"That's why I'm the best."

Amanda's smile grew, and she leaned in to brush his lips one more time.  "In due time, Scarecrow, in due time."

"I'll take that as a yes,"  Lee laughed, gobbling at her mouth hungrily.

An outbreak of voices came from the other side of the copse.  "I think the ball went that way!"

Amanda shot up from the ground, pulling at Lee's hands to get him up.  "That's Phillip,"  she whispered.

Lee nodded in understanding.  "Do you want me to meet him now?"

Amanda shook her head in the negative.  "Give me a chance to talk to him first, okay?"

"All right,"  Lee answered, and did his disappearing act, and just in time, for out of the woods came Phillip and Jamie King.

Phillip didn't even look at his mother, instead, breezing behind her back for the bushes where he was sure the ball had landed.

Jamie, on the other hand, noticed the look on his mother's face.  It was more peaceful and content than he'd seen it in a long time.  And she was smiling, just like she used to.  He'd missed that smile in the past two and a half months.  "Hey, mom!"

Amanda headed over to her youngest son, and pulled him into a big hug, a hug that Jamie eagerly gave back.  Two months of seeing his mother down had made him realize that her happy and loving was worth the embarrassment of his friends seeing him hug his mother.

"You're not afraid I'll embarrass you?"

"Not right now,"  Jamie replied.  In his ever insightful way, he said to Amanda,  "You look like you're feeling better, Mom.  Anything we should know?"

"Maybe,"  Amanda said nonchalantly.  She saw Phillip running back to the ball field out of the corner of her eye, still avoiding her.  "Go on, go play ball."

"He's just being a jerk, Mom.  He'll come around."

"Don't call your brother a jerk,"  Amanda automatically responded while ruffling his hair.  Softening her voice, she added,  "And I know he'll come around."

Jamie darted off to the ball field, while Amanda made her way back to the family's picnic table, and sat down, grabbing a sandwich out of the picnic basket.

Dotty, never one to be tactful, blurted out,  "Okay, Amanda, who is he?"

Amanda looked over at her mother, while trying not to choke on the sandwich.  Finally swallowing, she replied,  "Who is who?"

"Tall, taller than you, that is.  Well built.  Sandy hair.  Couldn't see his eyes.  Picked you up and spun you around.  Please, tell me that he's the father."

Amanda, knowing the jig was up, decided that there was no better time for the truth than the present.  "Yes, he's the father.  I haven't seen him since. . . well, since.  I bumped into him while walking.  We talked.  He wants to meet you and the boys.  I want to prepare them first."

"He loves you, Amanda.  I could see it written all over his face."

"Mother, it's. . . complicated."

"Only if you let it be.  I take it that you told him."

"Yes."

"And he was happy."

Amanda couldn't lie.  "Yes."

"So, what's the problem?"

"Mother, up until about half an hour ago, I had no inkling that he could ever possibly love me.  Not until he told me."

"Was this before or after you mentioned the baby?"

"Before.  If it had been after. . . well.  I wouldn't know if he was saying it because. . . it's still complicated.  He's never really been part of a family.  He was very young when his parents died.  He was mostly raised by his bachelor uncle, who was in the military.  They moved quite a bit, so he didn't get close to any friends he ever made.  I know he's going to need some time before we can even think about. . . anything."

Dotty's heart cried out for the pain this man must have known as a boy.  "But he let you close."

"He didn't let me.  When we first met, he would have done anything to be rid of me.  He didn't have friends, Mother.  Every time he's allowed someone close to him, they either leave him, or they die.  I wanted to show him, oh, I don't know.  That there was a good side to having friends, I guess."

"What are you going to tell the boys now?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

"Well, could you at least tell me one thing?"

"What's that, Mother?"

"Who is he?  What's his name?  And how do you know him?"

"That's three things, Mother."

"Well, they're all connected, darling."

Amanda laughed at her mother's logic.  "His name is Lee Stetson.  We worked together at IFF."

Dotty nodded.  Now she knew why Amanda didn't want to go back to IFF.

**********

Chapter Eight:  Midnight Conversations.

King house, midnight.

"I know now, just quite how My life and love might still go on.  In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time"

(From "Wherever You Will Go")

Amanda had been enjoying her first peaceful night's sleep in two months.  And having an incredible dream.  It was very similar to some of the dreams she'd had recently, but tonight it was better.  Because tonight, she knew that her dream had come true.  She and Lee were standing in the copse of trees, holding each other when the phone rang.

The phone rang?

Amanda bolted upright, and grabbed the offending receiver.  "Hello,"  she murmured sleepily.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

Amanda's lips turned up into a smile at the sound of Lee's voice.  "Yeah, but it's okay.  What's up?"

"I tried calling earlier, but I couldn't get through.  I . . . I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Amanda chuckled.  "Everything's fine, Lee.  Mother was on the phone for a long time talking to one of her sisters.  In fact, I think she was still on the phone when I came up.  Aunt Eileen can't seem to get it through her head that it's three hours later here than it is in Seattle.  So, you want to tell me whatever it was that you were trying to call about earlier?"

Lee laughed lightly, shaking his head.  "Actually, I was wondering, um, what you were doing tomorrow evening.  You know, so we can finish our discussion from earlier today.  Say, over dinner at Spencer's?"

"Love to,"  Amanda replied.  "What time?"

"I could pick you up at six."

Amanda mulled this over for a minute.  She still had to talk with the boys.  Her mother wouldn't be a problem, in fact, would probably push Amanda right out the door.  "Lee, remember what I said about fence-mending?  That it would take a little time?"

"Okay, why don't you meet me there.  Like I said, you call the shots."

Amanda let out a breath she hadn't even known she'd been holding.  "Six?"

"Six it is."  He didn't want to hang up.  This connection with her, no matter how tenuous, was more than he had hoped for since that night.  "Amanda?"

"Mhm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For this.  For giving me a chance to make everything up to you."

"There's nothing to make up to me for.  Except, maybe waking me up,"  she teased.

"Okay, I get the hint.  Sweet dreams, my love."

"Sweet dreams to you too, big fella."

************

Chapter nine:  Facing the Inquisition

Monday September 2,  9:00 AM.

IFF, Georgetown Foyer

"and I will rise above

mightier than before

having fought the beast

even if I have not won the battle,

mayhap I can win the war.

No more silence have I."

(From my original poem, "No More Silence")

Lee breezed into the Georgetown Foyer with a bounce in his step on Monday morning, earning an odd look from Mrs. Marsten.  He looked at the older woman, and said,  "Good morning, Mrs. Marsten!  The word is enraptured."

Mrs. Marsten couldn't help but return the smile as she handed Lee his badge.  "Mr. Melrose is expecting you in his office this morning, Mr. Stetson.  He said  for you to get down there on the double."  She watched him as he headed for the coat closet elevator.

"Good.  I wanted to talk to him, too,"  Lee replied, still not losing his smile.

Mrs. Marsten shook her head as the young Agent disappeared into the bowels of the Agency.  Usually an 'on the double' request from the Section Chief brought groans, but not today.  She wondered if the rumors were true, that maybe the Scarecrow did get bitten by the love bug.  The word of the day came unbidden to her mind. 'Enraptured?'

Lee's smile was still intact as he waltzed into Billy's office, not even disappearing when he saw the look on the Section Chief's face.  He watched as Billy made his way to the window overlooking the Bullpen, and closed the shades, an usually ominous sign of a dressing down, or an assignment that he wasn't going to like.

Billy sat down at his desk, noting the look on Scarecrow's face.  It still didn't change the dressing down he was about to give.  "Just where were you all weekend?  I almost sent the trappers out after you!  Especially when I found out that Wilhelm Newman was back in DC, and is after you for breaking up his last operation.  Now, do you want to tell me what was so God-damned important that you didn't answer your phone?"

That smile came back as he thought about the events of the previous day.  It had seemed very important when he saw Amanda and the boys getting in the station wagon yesterday morning.  He'd been afraid that she was running off again.  He'd only meant to follow her to her destination, just to be sure she was okay. But he'd started talking to Amanda, and when she'd told him that she loved him, and her news . . . everything else was completely forgotten.  "I'm sorry, Billy.  It was just that I . . . I had some interesting news yesterday, and I guess you could say I was a little shocked by it."

Now Billy was looking at Lee funnily.  'Interesting news, shocked, but he has this inane grin on his face, like . . .'  Billy shook his head to clear the thought.  "Want to share with the class, Scarecrow?"

"I will, soon, Billy."

"No, Lee, I think that whatever it is, you'd better tell me now.  What is it that's got you so . . . so chipper?  I never thought I'd use that word on you."

"I talked to Amanda,"  Lee replied simply.

Billy shook his head, a smile appearing on his own face.  "I take your demeanor to mean that you two patched things up?"

"Yes, we did.  We're going out to dinner tonight, to talk about some things."

"You know, I still haven't put her letter of resignation in her folder yet.  Does she know that?"

"I'm not sure, but Billy, I don't know if she should come back here . . ."

Now Billy looked concerned.  "Tell me the rest of it, Scarecrow."

"I can't, not right now.  Look, let me talk to her tonight.  I promise you that I'll explain everything in the morning."

"You'd better, Scarecrow.  And no more disappearing acts, okay?  Or this time I will send the trappers out after you."

"I can live with that.  Anything else?"

"Watch your tail.  We can't get Newman on anything right now.  But I want you to be cautious, okay?"

"Always,"  Lee responded, rising to leave the room.  Before he could make it out the door, however, Billy's voice stopped him.

"Oh, and Lee?"

"Yeah?"

"It's about time.  Don't mess up with her again, or you'll have to answer to me.  Understand?"

"Yeah, Billy, and I don't plan to mess it up with her again.  And you were right, about Amanda that is."

"When will you ever learn to listen to me?  I'm always right about these things."

**********

Chapter Ten:  Missing Something?

King House, 5:00 pm.

"One step at a time, One hope then another, who knows where this road may go"

(From Journey To The Past)

"Okay, where is my other white shoe?"  Amanda said, more to herself than to the empty room.  She'd already searched her closet, and under her bed.  Nothing.  And she wanted that other shoe.

"Amanda, what are you doing?"  Dotty asked as she entered the bedroom, seeing her daughter on her hands and knees, peering under the bed.

"I'm looking for my other shoe, Mother."

"Which one?"

"See the shoe on the bed?  It's mate is missing."

Dotty took in the shoe, and the dress hanging on the closet door.  "Is he picking you up?"

"No, I'm meeting him.  He wanted to, but Philip still isn't talking to me."

"Will you be late?"

"I doubt it.  We're just talking right now, Mother.  That usually is the first step."

"So when are you going to talk to the boys?"

"As soon as Phillip will sit down and talk to me.  I mean, you saw the way he ran out this afternoon."

"I know, Amanda.  I even tried to stop him.  At least we know where he went."

"I know.  It was nice of Mrs. Burgess to call to let us know, and invite him to spend the night with Kenny."

"I'm surprised you let him after the way he acted."

"He does need a little space.  I dropped a big bombshell on him two weeks ago.  He'll come around."

"I sure hope so, Amanda.  Besides, I want to meet this mystery man,"  Dotty hinted, heading back to Amanda's door.  "Oh, and Amanda?"

"Yes, Mother?"

"Your shoe is in the bathroom."

Amanda poked her head over the bed.  "What is it doing there?"

"I have no clue, honey,"  Dotty smirked.  "I just remember seeing it near the toilet."

Amanda shook her head as her mother left the room.  She remembered now, getting sick at the grocery store, and again as soon as she came home.  And she'd been wearing those shoes.

**********

Chapter eleven:  Dinner at Spencer's

6:00 PM.

". . . the wind in my hair

and him standing there

his hand on my cheek

his lips on mine

and a feeling of love

in my heart. . ."

(From my Original Poem "Garden in My Mind")

Amanda pulled into Spencer's without a second to spare.  As she exited the station wagon, she scanned the parking lot for Lee's Corvette.  Not finding it, she checked her watch.  She wasn't early.  Maybe he was just tied up at work.  The unbidden though crossed her mind that he could very well be literally tied up.  'Okay, Amanda, don't dwell on it.  Just go inside and wait for him.  He'll be here.'  She headed in the restaurant, and scanned the crowd for Lee, once again coming up empty.  She sat down at the bar and ordered a seltzer water, hoping to ease the little knot that was forming in her stomach.

The door opened as the bartender gave Amanda her seltzer water.  Lee had seen the station wagon in the parking lot, so he knew she was here.  And when he saw her at the bar, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him  'My God, she's beautiful.  I was an idiot not to have noticed before.'  He couldn't take his eyes off of her in her flowing white dress.  Shaking his head and calling himself a fool once again for not having done something about his feelings earlier, he approached her from behind, and whispered in her ear,  "Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

She jumped slightly until the voice registered.  A smile graced her face as she turned around.  "Lee,  you know I hate it when you sneak up on me like that!"

He leaned over to gently brush her lips with his.  "Sorry, I'll have to remember that.  I just couldn't resist."

Amanda shook her head, still smiling.  "You never will.  I've been trying to get you to drop that habit for two years, and you still sneak up on me."

"Hey, old habits are . . ."  He started, and she joined in,  "Hard to break."

"I know."

"Are you ready to get a table, my lady?"  Lee asked, holding out his arm, determined to be a perfect gentleman.

"Whenever you are,"  she replied, her smile getting brighter every second.

Lee led her to a quiet little table near the back of the restaurant, perfectly situated so they could have a little privacy.  He held out her chair for her, and then crossed to the other side of the table to his own chair.  He couldn't explain it, but he felt as giddy as a school boy.

It wasn't long before a waiter came along with menus for them, and they decided on a salad for each of them, and split an order of Chicken Marsala.

"So, how are the boys?"

Amanda took a deep breath,  "They're fine, but Phillip still refuses to talk to me.  I keep thinking he'll come around, that he can't avoid me forever."

"And Jamie?"

"He's acting a lot more grown up lately.  He knows that something is up, he just doesn't know what.  And he hasn't asked, he's just patiently waiting for me to tell him."

"If he hasn't asked, how do you know that he thinks something is up?"  Lee asked.

"The look on his face.  Lee, a mother can tell a lot of things just from the look on a child's face.  And Jamie's not very good at hiding what he's thinking, his face is an open book."

Lee smiled at the analogy.  He reached across the table and took Amanda's hand in his own.

Amanda smiled at Lee's gentle squeeze of her hand.  "And your day?"

"I told Billy that I had talked to you.  He knows that there's more, but I figured that I should talk to you before telling him about the baby.  And there is one other thing.  He never did put your letter in your file."

"I know, Francine mentioned that nobody knew that I had resigned."

"Do you want to go back?"

Amanda opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off when the waiter arrived with their food.  They thanked him politely, and soon they were alone again.

"Amanda?"  Lee asked as Amanda stared down at her salad.

"I'm not sure, Lee.  I certainly couldn't go back into the field.  At least not now."

Lee dipped his head and whispered,  "I know."

"I'd be right back at the beginning again, except I wouldn't be working with you."

"Agency policy,"  they said in unison.

"Billy can't stall forever, Amanda."

"I know that."

"I'm supposed to fill him in on everything that's going on tomorrow morning."

"Lee?"

"Yes?"

"I'd like to be there when you tell him."

"I could see if he can hold off until lunch."

"Where?"

"Ned's?"

"About, 12:30?"

"Sounds good to me."

**********

Chapter Twelve :  More Questions and Very Little Answers

IFF, Billy's office,

Tuesday September 3, 9:00 am.

"Maybe the sun's light will be dim, And it won't matter anyhow.  If morning's echo says we've sinned, Well, it was what I wanted now.  And if we're victims of the night  I won't be blinded by the light"

(From Angel Of The Morning)

"So Scarecrow, are you going to tell me what has been going on?"

"I'm under strict orders, Billy.  I can't say a word, yet.  But Amanda and I want you to join us at lunch, say, around 12:30?"

"You said this morning."

"Amanda wants to be there when I tell you, surely you can understand.  She has a stake in this too."

Billy shook his head, knowing he was defeated.  "Alright, where are we meeting for lunch?"

"Nedlinger's.  Oh, and Billy?  Not a word to Francine, okay?"

"This had better be good, Lee.  I'll see you at 12:30.  Now get me that report I asked you for yesterday!"

*********

Nedlinger's, 12:28 PM.

"Relax, Amanda.  Billy's not going to bite your head off."

"No, but he might bite your head off."

"Doubtful.  The only way he'll come after me is if I mess this up with you.  And I have no intention of doing that,"  Lee replied, leaning over to lightly brush his lips to hers.

"Lee . . . he'll be here any minute."

"Good,"  Lee whispered huskily, as he gently touched his lips to hers again, this time allowing the kiss to deepen, only to break apart at the sound of a clearing throat.

Lee and Amanda looked up to see Billy standing by the table.  "I'm glad to see you two have finally gotten it together,"  he said by way of greeting.

Amanda blushed instantly,  "Hello, Sir."

"Hello Amanda,"  Billy replied, smiling as he took a seat at the table.  "So Lee told me you wanted to be in on this little revelation session."

Amanda's blush deepened, and she looked over at Lee.  "You didn't tell him without me, did you?"

"Of course not.  I promised I wouldn't, didn't I?"

Amanda shook her head as she looked back over to Billy.

"So, who's going to tell me what's been going on?"

Lee and Amanda shared another look before Lee began.  "I will, as agreed.  Do you want the long version or the short."

"The short would be too easy, Scarecrow.  But then again, I can fill in quite a few of the blanks.  So far I know that you two had some kind of personal disagreement that sent Amanda off.  And whatever it was over, you seem to have patched things up.  I figure that there is something bigger here, but I don't know for sure."

"Well Billy, it's like this.  First of all, you were right, about my having loved Amanda for quite some time now,"  Lee began, his voice lighting up as he looked at Amanda.  "And I was too much of a fool to admit it to myself, let alone to her.  Then we had that horrible episode with Kincaid.  Amanda said she wanted to quit that night, and I tried to dissuade her, although I was doing that for the wrong reasons at the time.  I was scared of losing her, but I was even more scared of telling her how I felt.  Needless to say, I botched it up, and the next morning . . . um . . . well, I couldn't bring myself to just come out and tell her, and she . . . ah . . ."

"I walked out,"  Amanda simplified,  "without hearing what he was trying to say.  I was so hurt over . . . well over some things that happened that night, and was so scared that if I told him that I love him that I'd just look like a fool.  I headed over to the Agency to get my car, and it hit me that I didn't know if I could face him again.  So I wrote that letter of resignation, and left it on your desk.  I knew that Lee might try to contact me, and I just wasn't ready to handle it.  So I took an old high school friend up on an offer she'd made me a month before, and took my mother and the boys to Ocean City."

"Then you told me she was back, but after Francine told us what Amanda had said to her. . . well, I figured that if she hated me that much for what I'd done . . .  I couldn't face her.  Then, on Sunday, we bumped into each other at Rock Creek Park."

"Actually, sir, I think I was followed,"  Amanda cut in, turning to face Lee.  "You snuck up on me at an almost perfect moment."

"I just couldn't stand to see you cry, Amanda.  And if you hadn't said my name, I would likely have stayed hidden."

"Did I say that out loud?  I thought I'd only been thinking it."

"Yes, you said it out loud.  And I'm awfully glad you did."

Billy cleared his throat, seeing they were about to get off the topic that had brought them here.  The couple turned back to Billy, sheepish looks on their faces.

"Sorry Sir,"  Amanda said.

"Quite alright.  Actually, I'm glad you said whatever you said out loud.  He's been a complete bear the past two and a half months."

"There's more, Billy,"  Lee cut in.

"I figured there was,"  Billy responded.

"You see, Sir, I knew that sooner or later I would have to face Lee.  There was something that he had to know,"  Amanda rambled, a little embarrassed at the news she was about to impart.  "And it didn't make it easier thinking that he would never feel the same way about what had . . . what had happened between us than I did.  Neither of us was thinking about it that night, and it came as such a shock when I . . ."

Billy groaned and closed his eyes.  He knew what was coming now.  He just didn't know why he didn't suspect sooner.  "What are the two of you planning on doing?"

Lee and Amanda looked over at each other again, and Lee took Amanda's hand in his own.  "I asked Amanda to marry me, Billy.  I'd been thinking about it since she'd run off, to the point that I started carrying my mother's engagement ring with me, in case I finally summed up the courage to talk to Amanda.  I'd already told her I loved her before she told me about the baby, and was trying to find a way to bring this about.  I didn't want to rush her, or scare her away again, but I wanted her to know how sincere I was.  I wanted her to know that I wanted this, what we have, to last forever."

"But then, I felt the outline of the ring in his t-shirt pocket . . ."

"And I figured, no time like the present to ask."

Billy broke in,  "So have you decided when the happy day is?"

"Not quite yet, Sir,"  Amanda answered.  "There's one other little problem.  When I found out . . . well, I told the boys.  And at the time, I had no idea that Lee could ever feel the same for me that I feel for him, no idea that I even had a chance, baby or not.  And it was compounded by the fact that one of Phillip's friend's older sister recently found out she was pregnant, and I'd had a long talk with the boys about . . . well, about responsibility, and waiting, and then here I am, pregnant, the father's not there  . . . well, Phillip didn't take it well, and he hasn't talked to me since."

"So we have to try to make the boys understand before we can even think about setting a date.  And before that, I have to get to know the boys.  I don't want to over rush this, and make a big mess out of it."

"Makes sense,"  Billy muttered.  "I do have one other question, and that's what should I do with Amanda's resignation letter."  Turning to Amanda, he continued.  "I'd hoped that you and Lee could settle your differences.  And I didn't know if you wanted to come back or not.  I held off on placing it in your file."

"So that's why Francine didn't know anything about me resigning."

"Yes, that's why.  But now, with everything that's happened, what do you want to do?  If you want to continue at the Agency, that can be arranged, you just won't be working with Lee, and you won't be in the field until after the baby is born.  That is, if you decide to return to the field, and if you want to keep taking the courses you've been taking."

"That's still in negotiations, Billy."

"Well, don't keep it for too long, because I can only hold it for another few weeks at best."

"We won't, Sir."

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"No, I think that's about it,"  Lee answered.  "Just do me a favor, Billy.  Don't mention this to Francine.  Amanda and I want to be the ones to tell her."

"Lee, I'll have you know that I am the master of keeping secrets,"  Billy replied in a mock-affronted voice.   "Now, I have to get back to the office.  Take the rest of the day to figure out how you're going to talk to Amanda's family."  Billy stood to leave, and leaned over to place a peck on Amanda's cheek.  "Congratulations, I've known for a long time that you are just what he needed."

"Thank you, Sir,"  Amanda said, blushing again as Billy left the restaurant.

"Now see, that wasn't so bad,"  Lee said gently as he brought Amanda's hand to his mouth to kiss it.

"I know, Lee, it wasn't anything compared to talking to Phillip.  I think Jamie will take it fairly well, but Phillip's just so angry at me . . ."

"I know, Love.  We'll get past it, you'll see."

"Doesn't make it any easier in the meantime."

"Who knows, maybe telling him that I came to my senses will help."

"I hope so, I really do, Lee.  And I'm so glad we both came to our senses."

"Well, you have me for the rest of the day.  What do you want to do?"

"Hmm.  What do you say we go for a walk."

"Alright, a walk it is."

*********

Chapter Thirteen:  A Talk With The Boys

King house,

Tuesday, 7:00 PM.

"Well I just heard the news today.  It seems my life is gonna change.  I'll close my eyes, begin to pray.  Then tears of joy stream down my face. . ."

 (From "Arms Wide Open")

"So, since Phillip is home tonight, don't you think that now would be a good time for your next little discussion with the boys?"  Dotty prodded.  "I have to admit, I want to see this myself.  And I hope you'll bring him by soon.  I'd like to meet him."  Then to herself, she added, 'and grill him as to his intentions toward you.'

"I will.  He's looking forward to meeting you too, Mother.  And, yes, I want to have that talk with the boys tonight, as long as Phillip will listen to me."

"I can call them down and sit in on this one if you want."

"I'd like that, Mother.  I really would."

Dotty headed up the steps to the boys bedroom.  Amanda could hear mumbling from Phillip as she saw Jamie coming down the steps.  The mumbling soon grew louder, and culminated in her mother's voice shouting,  "Phillip King, you get down to that family room right NOW!  You've been being a royal pain long enough, now it's going to stop!"

Obviously taken aback by his grandmother's unaccustomed tone, Phillip appeared at the bottom of the steps moments later, only to fling himself into one of the chairs.

Amanda shook her head in resignation.  She could only hope that this went better than their last talk did.  She looked at Jamie, then Dotty, and then rested her gaze on Phillip.  And wondered if she was doing the right thing for them.  "Fellas, I know the last couple of months has been rough on us all.  I wasn't my normal self, and that confused and worried all of you, and I'm sorry for that, more sorry than you know.  I hurt all of you by shutting everything out for a little while, and though I can't fully explain all the details, I'm hoping you'll at least try to understand,"  she paused, seeing the nods of affirmation from her mother and Jamie, and a curt nod from a very sullen Phillip. 

Seeing this, she continued,  "Now, you know that I've been at IFF for a while now, working mostly with Mr. Stetson.  Actually, working fairly closely with Mr. Stetson.  And over time, we've gone from being co-workers, to friends, something that he was not very comfortable with.  He . . . he lost his parents at a very young age, and was raised by an uncle who was in the military.  He spent a lot of his young life on Military bases, and every time he made new friends, he had to pick up and leave.  And a lot of that made him distrustful of other people for a long time.  Then we . . . we started working together, and eventually, he started to realize that maybe having a few friends wasn't such a bad thing.  Then, without either of us realizing what was happening, some other feelings started to grow, but neither of us was really ready to take the next step." 

Amanda lowered her head for a minute, collecting her thoughts on how exactly to explain her actions without imparting the trauma that made her snap and take that first drink that night.  She looked up and continued,  "And then, one night, something happened on a government shoot, and someone was . . . someone was very seriously hurt.  It was . . . I guess you could say it was a freak accident, but everyone on the crew was . . . well we were all a little shaken up.  I think I felt even worse, because the piece of equipment that malfunctioned was something I checked earlier in the day.  And I didn't want anyone here to worry when I came in, because I was . . . I was really upset.  So Mr. Stetson said that if I wanted to, I could stay at his place to collect my thoughts, and if I didn't . . . If I wasn't composed enough to drive, he'd let me use his couch.  Fellas, I never meant for what else happened to happen, and neither did he, but we did a lot of talking that night, and we both said things we wouldn't have said to each other if we hadn't been . . . well, if we hadn't been so upset.  Neither of us could admit at that point that there was something between us, and I'm not proud of it, but I'm the one who ran away from it, not him.  That's why we spent those two months at the beach.  I didn't know if I could face him again after that night, thinking that he didn't feel the same way I did.  And in the meantime, I told you about the baby, before I even had a chance to talk to him about it,"  she paused again, drawing in a big breath. 

She looked around at her family, trying give them a moment to take in what they'd just heard.  Jamie was watching her, patiently waiting for her to get to the point.  She wanted to smile at how grown up he'd been recently.  Phillip was still slumped in his chair, studying his shoes.  And Dotty, over on the other side of the couch from Jamie, wore a look of anticipation, wondering where this discussion was leading now.

Amanda finally continued her story,  "Anyway, on Sunday, while we were at the park, I ran into him for the first time since I'd left him that morning.  And we had a long talk, in fact, I also talked to him last night, and this afternoon we met for lunch.  And, he wants to meet you.  Now, I want to give him the chance, if both of you are willing to meet him.  He wants to be . . . he wants to be here for . . ."  she paused, and thought to herself, 'Should I tell them that he wants to marry me?  I know he loves me, but what about the boys.  I know he wants to try to get to know them too.  He's never really had a family, and this is going to be so new for him.  I don't want to promise the boys something, and then have it not happen.'

Jamie chose this moment to speak up.  "Mom, you said you love him.  Does he love you?"

Amanda smiled at this, her ever perceptive youngest child.  "When we bumped into each other at the park, that was the first thing he said.  You see, he was scared.  He didn't have anyone to teach him about love when he was younger, so he just didn't recognize it.  And when he did, it really scared him."

"If he asked you to marry him,"  Phillip spoke up, finally meeting his mother's face,  "would you?"

She looked Phillip straight in the eye as she answered,  "If you and Jamie were alright with the idea, then yes, I would."

Phillip nodded his head, the scowl still in place.  In reality, he had noticed the change in his mother in the last few days, and just wanted her to be happy again.  The way she'd been before all this happened.  "So when do we meet him?"

Amanda's eyes widened.  She hadn't thought it would be that easy.  She and Lee had hoped, but they weren't sure.  "Hold on just a minute,"  Amanda said, and went to the front door.  She knew he was parked down the street, waiting for her to finish this talk.  He said that he'd meet her outside in the back yard, but she thought surely he'd still be in his car.

"What's mom doing?"  Jamie asked his grandmother, confused.

"I'm not sure, Jamie,"  Dotty answered truthfully.

Amanda saw the car, but she could see that no one was in it.  Where could he be?  She walked to the back yard, hoping to find him, when a pair of strong arms encircled her and gently turned her to face him, before claiming her lips.  Within seconds, she felt like her mind had taken a vacation, so strong were the emotions encircling her heart.  Then she thought about the boys and her mother waiting for her inside, and pulled back from his embrace.

Lee smiled when he saw the still dazed look in her eyes.  "How'd it go?"

Amanda shook out of the stupor clouding her head, and managed to free herself from his embrace.  "Come on,"  she whispered, taking his hand in hers, and led him towards the front door.

Lee's eyes widened.  "Now?"

"Phillip asked when he'd get to meet you.  I don't want him changing his mind,"  she said quietly, her eyes pleading him to understand.

Lee nodded his assent before saying,  "Okay.  I can do this."

In the family room three heads looked up when the front door opened again, and Amanda entered with Lee.  Taking a deep breath, Amanda spoke up.  "Mother, Fellas, I'd Like you to meet Lee Stetson.  Lee, my mother, and Phillip and Jamie."

Dotty rose from her chair first, quickly sizing up the man in front of her.  'You definitely picked a keeper, Amanda,'  she thought.

Lee finally managed to get his tongue to work as Amanda's mother stood before him.  "Mrs. West, a pleasure.  Amanda's told me so much about you, and the boys as well."

'Definitely a keeper,'  Dotty mused. "Call me Dotty, please."

Lee nodded, and flashed that smile that always took Amanda's breath away.  Dotty, not being used to it, quickly became flustered.

The boys, luckily, jumped to her rescue.  Jamie approached him next, and held out his hand.  "Mr. Stetson."

"It's great to finally meet you, Jamie,"  Lee responded, shaking hands with the youngster.  "Although I must admit, with everything your mother's told me, I feel like I already know you."

Jamie nodded in acceptance, still a little wary.  All he knew was this man had made his mom happy again, and he just hoped that nothing interfered with that.

Lee turned to Phillip.  He knew that this was where the real test would be.  The boy's face was still a little sullen.  Lee looked for a clue as to how and what kind of greeting Phillip was expecting, but he stood there stiffly with his arms crossed.  Lee knew that the charm wouldn't work as it had with Dotty, and he wasn't holding out a greeting like Jamie had.  A flash of worry showed on his face.  He really was out of his league here.

Phillip caught that flash of worry.  This man was nervous about meeting him.  And that told Phillip more than anything else that this man really did want to make this whole mess work out.  "Mr. Stetson,"  he nodded, not offering a hand.

Lee eased slightly.  It was something.  It was a start.

**********

Chapter Fourteen: Dotty's Inquisition

King House,

Friday, September 6, 6:00 PM.

"Whatever befall me, mays't thou be happy, ne'er may my frightful doom reach thy gentle ear. . . "

(From "Aida")

For the past three nights, Dotty had been making plans to waylay Lee Stetson, and grill the man to find out what he planned to do about this relationship with her daughter.  Somehow, the man had seemed to avoid being alone with her, but not tonight.  Phillip had gone to a friend's house for a sleep over right from school, and Amanda and Jamie had gone to pick up some burgers from Marvelous Marvin's for dinner.

She heard the knock on the kitchen door, and hurried to answer it.  "You know, Lee, I told you that you can come to the front.  No reason to come to the side door."

"Force of habit, Dotty,"  Lee smiled.  "I didn't see the station wagon.  Is Amanda ok?"

"Oh yeah, she and Jamie just ran down to Marvin's.  We were both out running errands all day, and after that, no one wants to cook.  Now sit, they'll be back soon."

Lee obliged her, and they sat facing each other in the living room.

Dotty, never a big person for tact, immediately started her inquisition.  "So Lee, just what are your intentions toward my daughter?"

Lee's head popped up, a shocked look in his eyes.  He hadn't realized that he'd get such a blunt question so quickly.  Covering up his reaction, he said,  "Would it ease your mind to know that I've already asked her to marry me?"

"Yes, it would.  But why she hasn't said anything."

"We weren't planning on saying anything yet, Dotty, and if Amanda finds out I told you, she'd likely have my head.  We wanted to wait to announce it after I get the boys approval.  I don't want to rush them, or you.  Although Amanda warned me that you wouldn't have any problem with it."

"Lee, all I want for Amanda is for her to be happy.  These past few days since you started talking again have been the happiest I've ever seen her.  Now I think that Jamie will be pretty easy to convince.  Phillip, you'll have to work a little harder with.  You see, after your disagreement, Amanda came home very upset, in fact, she barely said anything to us for almost two months.  And then we find out that she's pregnant.  That upset Phillip a great deal.  I'm sure she told you that."

"That Phillip was upset with her, yes, she told me.  She didn't tell me she'd been so withdrawn."  Lee stopped to think about that for a minute.  Amanda had been devastated to think that night meant nothing to him, to the point that she withdrew from hew family?  This bothered him to no end, thinking how different she must have been from the Amanda he knew .  His Amanda.  That he'd done this to her by his inability to tell her how he felt mad him feel sick.  "I did that to her?  My god, Dotty, believe me, if I'd have any idea-"

"I know you would have talked to her that much sooner, Lee.  You couldn't have known.  But may I ask, when did you ask her to marry you?"

"The day in the park.  I'd been trying to figure out how to approach her, and I'd been thinking about it for weeks.  I'd even started carrying my mother's engagement ring with me, hoping that if I could at least get to talk to her, I wanted to show her I was sincere.  That all I wanted was her.  I'm afraid our friendship had gotten off to a rocky start.  That was mostly my fault.  I kept trying to push her away, figuring that if I didn't let her get close to me, it wouldn't hurt me when . . . I think even then I knew on some level that there was more than a friendship there, more than a business partnership.  And that scared me."

"She told us a little about your childhood."

Lee hung his head.  Amanda had been one of the few people who knew the full story.

"I'm sorry,"  Dotty amended.  "I didn't realize . . ."

"No, it's okay.  It's just a sore spot with me.  I don't usually tell people about it.  I think only two people know the full story, and Amanda is one of those.  It's just not something I like to talk about."

"I understand that, Lee.  And I promise to act surprised when you and Amanda announce that you're getting married."

"Thank you, Dotty, I appreciate that."

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Dotty said,  "But if you hurt her, you have to answer to me."

Lee smiled, and replied,  "Yes ma'am.  But I doubt that you have to worry too much about that.  I made a promise to myself that I would not mess this up.  We didn't have the best of starts, but I'm more than grateful that she gave me a second chance,"  Lee smiled, cutting himself off when he heard the slam of car doors outside.

"They're here,"  Dotty remarked, standing up and patting Lee on the back as she passed the couch.  "I'm glad we had this little talk."

"Me too,"  Lee answered as the front door opened, and Amanda and Jamie entered the foyer.

"You too what?"  Amanda asked as she leaned over and gave Lee a peck on the cheek.

"Glad that your mother and I had a chance to talk,"  Lee replied honestly.

Amanda looked between her mother, who was busying herself with the food, and Lee, who was giving her his 'Mr. Innocent' look.  "Good.  I'm glad you two had a chance to talk."

Lee shook his head as he watched Amanda head for the kitchen.  He knew she wasn't fooled, and that he'd get another third degree later.

**********

Chapter Fifteen:  Many Questions Equal Many Answers

King house,

Sunday, September 22, 3:00 PM.

"I hope he's not like me, I hope he understands.  And he can take this life and hold it by the hand . . ."

(From "Arms Wide Open")

Phillip King was shooting hoops in the driveway when the silver corvette pulled up alongside the house.  He'd been biding his time for almost two weeks, not saying much to this man who'd obviously stolen his mother's heart.  But Phillip still had questions, and he couldn't ask them with his mother or grandmother around.  And with his mother at the store, now seemed an opportune time.

"Hey, Phillip,"  Lee called in greeting, forever hopeful that this would be the time that the boy would say more than a cursory  'Hello.'

"Mr. Stetson,"  he nodded, catching his ball, and laying it on the pavement.  Drawing in a deep breath, the boy spoke,  "Um, before you go inside, do you think we could talk?"

Lee was slightly taken aback.  He'd been hoping for this, but he wasn't fully prepared.  "Sure.  What's up?"

Phillip took a second to collect his thought.  "Do you love my mom?"

A smile overtook Lee's face at the question, it so reminded him of the way Dotty cornered him a week and a half ago.  "With all my heart, Phillip."

Phillip could tell he was telling the truth, but whatever transpired between this man and his mother still bothered him.  "Do you want to marry her?"

"I would like that very much, Phillip.  I just wanted to make sure that you and your brother were comfortable with the idea first."

Phillip nodded, understanding a little more about this man.  But there were still more questions he had to ask.  "I know that this is probably none of my business, but I have to ask.  If you love her, and want to marry her, why didn't you guys wait?  I mean, why didn't you tell her before you . . . well, before you did anything?"

Lee felt the nervousness rise up in his stomach.  Amanda had been about as honest with them as she could have been about the events surrounding that night.  "Can we sit down?  I have a feeling that there's going to be more after this question."

"Sure,"  Phillip replied, leading Lee to the front step.

Lee inhaled deeply before beginning.  "Phillip, I know your mom has told you a little bit about me, and about my past."

"Yeah, she told us about your childhood, and that you were kinda a loner."

"Well, you see, I'd never really loved anyone before your mom.  In fact, I didn't even realize it until I accidentally blurted it out.  I kinda did tell her before we . . ."  he suddenly felt even more uncomfortable.  He'd never felt this way about discussing sex before, but this boy . . .  "She told you about the person who was hurt."

"Yeah, but I still don't understand."

Lee thought back about a week, when he and Amanda realized that her story might need a little embellishing.  "Well, you see Phillip, one of the lights was faulty.  Unfortunately, it was something your mother had set up.  Now, she did all her checks to the letter, but something still went wrong.  And your mother blamed herself.  The guy didn't make it."

Something dawned on Phillip, and a lot more was starting to make sense.  "She thought she killed him."

"Yeah,"  Lee replied.  "That's why she didn't want to come home and face you guys that night.  She was really upset about it.  In fact, she was shaking like a leaf.  So I offered to let her spend the night at my place.  I know she probably argued about it, but I was prepared to sleep on the sofa, and let her have my room.  But we had stayed up for a while, talking and . . . Phillip, I'm not proud of this, and neither is your mother, but she was so shook up, and we both had a few drinks.  She was crying about what had happened, and saying she couldn't face everyone at work when she killed a man.  I tried to tell her that she didn't kill him, it was an accident, and nothing like that would happen again.  And the next thing I knew, I'd blurted out that I love her."

"So why did you two, I mean she said that you didn't."

Lee silently cursed himself yet again for being a fool.  "Phillip, for the past two years, your mother and I have been fooling ourselves that all that was between us was business.  And that all we were was friends.  In fact, a number of times, I told her that there was nothing else, and that there never would be.  I was stupid, Phillip, there is no other word for it.  Except blind, too blind to see how I felt about her.  The next morning, neither of us remembered anything right away, and we were both a little uncomfortable about what had obviously taken place.  And when we finally sat down to try to talk, I didn't know how to tell her that I meant what I said.  I froze, and she thought I was about to give her the same we're just friends and business associates and nothing more speech.  I didn't stop her before she made it out the door.  I didn't know how to tell her how frightened I was of the things she was making me feel.  I did try to catch up with her, but must have just  missed her when she got back to work to pick up her car, and again missed her when I stopped by here.  You had all gone away.  Then, a friend of ours from work saw her, and when our friend mentioned my name, your mother didn't take it well.  So I stayed away."

"Until the park.  What made you two talk that day?"

"Honestly?  I was worried about your mother.  I'd came over here, trying to sum up the courage to talk to her, and then all of you had piled into the car, and headed to the park.  I figured, well, if I followed you guys into the park, maybe I'd get a chance to talk to her.  Your mother took a walk, and she started crying.  I couldn't stand to see her cry like that.  I think it was only the third time I'd seen her cry.  And then, she said something that she meant to say in her head.  And my name.  I took that as a good sign, and came out to talk to her, and finally told her what I wanted to tell her when she disappeared."

Phillip nodded his head, and thought,  'Nobody would make all that up.  He's got to be telling the truth.'  He lifted his head and looked Lee right in the eyes for the first time.  "When are you going to ask her to marry you?"

"Does this mean I have your permission?"

"Yeah, but if you hurt her again . . ."

"I'll never hurt her again, Phillip, I promise you.  I have one question of my own.  Will Jamie also approve of me asking your mother to marry me?"

"I think so.  All the dorkface ever talks about anymore is you."

Lee smiled once again at the sibling rivalry between the King boys.  "Do you mind if I ask his permission before asking your mother?"

"Naw, but once he says yes, I want to hear you two making wedding plans."

"You have a deal, Phillip,"  Lee said, holding out his hand.

Phillip took it in his own.  "A deal, Mr. Stetson."

"Phillip, if I'm going to marry your mom, don't you think it's about time you started calling me Lee?"

"After you ask her."

Lee nodded his head.  "I'll hold up my end."

*********

Chapter Sixteen:  The Best Laid Plans Go To Waste

King house,

Sunday,  7:30 PM.

"There's just no rhyme or reason, only this sense of completion. And in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for. I think I've found my way home . . ."

(From "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You")

Lee had been looking for a chance to corner Jamie by himself for the past few hours, ever since his talk with Phillip.  Now that he had one boy giving him the green light, he really wanted Jamie to be accepting as well.  In the past two years of watching this family, he finally saw everything he'd been missing.  And everything he now admitted he wanted.  A family.  His family.  Yeah, that sounded really good, his family.  A smile broke over his face as he thought it again, 'My family.'

"You're awfully quiet all of a sudden,"  Amanda broke into his reverie as she came back down the stairs and sat next to Lee on the couch.

Lee looked over at this woman who'd come to mean so much to him, and the smile brightened even more.  "I was just thinking,"  he replied.

"Must've been some good thoughts, from the look on your face."

"I'll never tell,"  Lee teased, leaning over to place a kiss on her forehead.  "Well, maybe I will, just not now."

Amanda chuckled,  "Oh, I know you will, Stetson, I know you will."  She leaned over for a quick kiss when the heard of elephants we know as the King boys came thundering down the stairs.

"Did not!"

"Did too, snotbreath!"

"Phillip, don't call your brother snotbreath,"  Amanda automatically corrected.  "And Jamie, isn't there something you're forgetting to do?  It's Sunday night,"  she reminded gently.

The boys, who'd stopped running as soon as their mother's voice called out, separated, with Philip heading back upstairs and Jamie heading to the kitchen.

Lee looked at Amanda with wonder, still trying to figure out how she could settle them with a few words.  "What is Jamie forgetting?"

"Trash night, and it's his week,"  Amanda replied simply.

Lee saw his chance.  "You know, I'll be right back,"  he said as he shot up off the couch  and headed for the door he'd seen Jamie heading for. 

Amanda shook her head.  Lee was up to something, she could feel it.

Jamie had the newest bag packed into the can when Lee came out the side door.  "Hey, let me help you there."

"Naw, Mom would have my hide,"  Jamie answered cautiously.  Something was up, he was sure about that.

"Well, at least let me walk with you, I want to ask you something."

Jamie nodded as he grabbed the trash can.  "Sure, what's up?"

"Jamie, would you say that things have been going pretty well these past two weeks I've been here?"

"I guess so, a little better tonight when Phillip actually said more than two words to you."

"Yeah, we had a little talk this afternoon, and I think we really cleared the air about a few things.  Well, I want you to know that I've really enjoyed the chance to spend time with you guys these past two weeks.  It's been really great, getting to know you and your brother, and, well, I wanted to know how you would feel if I asked your mom to marry me."

"Me?  It'd be okay with me, I guess.  But what about Phillip?"

"That was one of the things we talked about this afternoon."

"Can I ask you a question, Lee?"

"Sure.  Fire away."

"Is this because of the baby, or is it because you love Mom?"

"Let me tell you a little story of a ring that was in my pocket before I had a chance to talk to your mother. . ."

**********

King house,

Thursday, September 26, 5:00 PM.

Lee didn't know why he was nervous.  They hadn't told the boys about his already having proposed, and Amanda didn't know about the two little talks he'd had with Phillip and Jamie.  The three males had been plotting a very special night for one woman they all loved.  Now that he had the boys approval, and even their help in this little setup, he was nervous.  Had he been this nervous the first time he asked?  He didn't remember.  He'd even managed to sneak both boys away for a few hours to pick out the perfect decorations.

They'd even employed Dotty's help, though she had no idea what they were planning.  They'd gotten Dotty to take Amanda on an errand with her, giving Lee and the boys enough time to set up.  Lee had cooked dinner for everyone, albeit he'd cooked at his apartment, and then heated it up after Amanda and Dotty left.  The boys had been busy with decorations around the house for this little party.  Even if it would only be the five of them.

Now that the food was ready, the decorations in place, the table set, and nothing else left to do, Lee felt nervous.  The boys watched him from their perch in the kitchen, grinning at his pacing.

"Think he's nervous, Phillip?"

"Definitely, but I think he really does love her.  Why else would he go to all this trouble?  And he did ask for our help.  Maybe he's an okay guy after all."

"Yeah, he seems okay, and Mom loves him.  When was the last time she looked that happy?"

"I don't remember, Dork face."

"Oh, be quiet Puke head!"

"You be quiet, Worm Brain!"

"Dorkus!"

"Dorkus Maximus!"

"Guys!"  Lee's voice intoned, the nervousness evident in it.

Phillip and Jamie looked at each other, and shrugged.  "Sorry, Lee,"  Jamie apologized.

"Yeah, sorry,"  Phillip echoed.  He still wouldn't call him 'Lee' until after his mother accepted tonight.  And neither boy had any doubt that their mother would say yes.

Lee saw the car pull up in the driveway.  "They're here, guys!"

Phillip and Jamie rushed over to their stations behind the couch, a perfect angle to see Amanda's face as she walked in the door and saw all their work.

The butterflies in Lee's stomach increased their speed and number as Amanda and Dotty walked in the door.   His breath caught as he helped Amanda off with her coat in the foyer.  "How was your errand?"

"Oh, just an errand,"  Amanda replied nonchalantly, reaching up to brush a light kiss across Lee's lips.

"You ladies got back pretty quickly.  Going to give me a hint?"

"She's not allowed, Lee,"  Dotty cut in, a brief reminder that he and the boys had kept her in the dark about whatever it was they had planned.  "It's a surprise, for now anyway."

"Okay, I guess I can wait,"  Lee replied as he took Amanda's hand in his, and started to lead her to the family room.

"You know, I still have to cook,"  she said quietly.

"No you don't.  Dinner's ready."

"You cooked?"

"Yeah, don't be surprised.  I didn't actually survive the past ten years by eating out every single night."

Amanda had to chuckle over this.  "I can't wait to see th-"  she cut herself as she saw the family room, and the banner over the mantle piece.  "Oh my gosh!"

Lee turned and fell to his knee, and pulled the ring he'd first given her nearly three weeks before out of his pocket.  "Amanda, since I've known you, you've been there for me through a lot of hard days.  No matter how much I tried in the beginning to push you away, you wouldn't let me.  I know it took me a long time to realize what you meant to me, and I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you.  Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

The tears of happiness shone brightly in her eyes, as her mouth broke out in a smile.  She looked over at the boys next to the couch, both of whom were nodding their assent.  She then looked down at Lee, still on his knee, waiting for her answer.  "You three planned this pretty well, didn't you?"

"Yup, we did.  So, will you?"

"Yes, I'll marry you."

Lee couldn't help it.  He jumped up and drew her in his arms, and kissed her with all the love he had for her in his heart.

~~~

Dotty made her way over to the boys.  "So, this is what you had planned."

"Well, when Lee asked us for our help, we couldn't say no,"  Phillip replied.

The fact that Phillip had just called him 'Lee' was not lost on Dotty.  "I'm glad to see you're coming around, Phillip.  I have a feeling that there may be a happily ever after  here after all."

**********

Chapter Seventeen:  Tag

IFF, Bullpen,

Friday, September 27, 9:00 AM.

"Love makes fools of everyone, all the rules we make are broken.  Yes Love, love changes everything.  Live or perish in her flame.  Love will never ever let you be the same . . ."

(From "Love Changes Everything")

The stares as Scarecrow and Mrs. King walked through the bullpen together for the first time in nearly three months was not lost on Lee.  Some were smiling to see Amanda back, others were looking curious as the grins on both faces were noted.  And the second they were in Billy's office, the gossip started.  Before they were out, a pool of nearly five hundred dollars would be collected, as everyone betted on the reason for the smiles, why Amanda had been gone so long, and whether the roof would be raised off of Billy's office today.

Meanwhile, in the Section Chief's office, the smiles on the pair in front of him was not lost, either.  "I take it you have some news to tell me?"

"Quite a bit, Sir,"  Amanda replied.

"I officially proposed to Amanda yesterday, Billy."

"Well, that's good to hear.  Congratulations, both of you.  The boys took it well?"

"He had them in on it, Sir,"  Amanda laughed.

Billy shook his head at the thought.  Scarecrow, a daddy.  "And have negotiations over Amanda's job closed?"

"Yes, they have,"  Lee answered.

"If it's okay with you, sir, I'd like to come back.  I know that I'll be chained to a desk, and we haven't made a final decision about what I'm going to do after the baby is born, but you said I had time to decide that."

"Yes, you do, although I can't guarantee that if you go through the rest of your courses that you'll be able to work with Lee."

"We discussed that, Billy, and if that's what has to happen, then so be it.  Either way Amanda eventually decides, I'll be there to support her decision."

"I'm glad to hear that,"  Billy smiled.  "I take it you'll be making an announcement soon?"

"Actually, we wanted to tell Francine first.  Of course, if we tell her, we won't have to say another word.  You know how news travels around this office."

Billy chuckled at this.  For a bunch of spies, these people sure loved to gossip.  "Now a good time?"

"As good a time as any,"  Lee replied, as Billy stuck his head out the door.

"Francine!  In here, on the double!"

Francine made her way into the office, and immediately took in the stances of the couple in front of her.  "Something big, Billy?"

"You could say that,"  Billy mused, and nodded to Lee.

"Actually, we have something to tell you,"  Lee started.  "Francine, Amanda and I are getting married."

Francine laughed.  "What is this, some new cover?"

"I assure you, Francine, it's not a cover,"  Lee replied to the sarcasm in the blonde's voice.

"Yeah right, Lee, and the pope is Jewish!"

"No, really, Francine, it's not a cover,"' Amanda piped in.

Francine looked from one to the other, and the disbelief slowly left her face.  "It's not a cover."

"No, it's not, Francine,"  Lee responded.  "I love Amanda, I have for quite some time now.  She loves me as well.  And we're getting married."

"I need to sit down,"  Francine said, shocked, as she sat down on the couch.  She looked up at them again, a hopeful plea in her voice.  "You're sure this isn't a cover?"

"Francine,"  Billy interjected,  "This isn't a cover."

Francine looked right at Amanda.  "Then why when I saw you at the store a few weeks ago, didn't you say anything?  In fact, you cut me off rather abruptly when I mentioned Lee's name."

"Because we . . . neither of us knew that day how the other felt, Francine,"  Lee replied.  "You, better than most, know about my scorched earth policy."

"Yeah, I do,"  Francine admitted.

"It wasn't until almost two weeks later that Amanda and I really talked.  You could say we parted on rather unfriendly terms after that whole incident with Kincaid."

Francine dropped her head into her hands.  Then, in a swift motion, she lifted it.  "Well, if you want a little suburban life, than by all means, Lee, go for it."  She stood, and was at the door when she asked,  "This isn't classified, is it?"

"No, it's not."

"Damn,"  Francine muttered, realizing the money she was about to lose as she made her way back into the bullpen.

As the door closed, Billy asked,  "So, when are you going to tell her about the baby?"

Lee smiled and looked over at Amanda.  "We figured she could figure that one out on her own."

The three of them shared a good laugh before Lee and Amanda headed out to the bullpen themselves, seeing the winner of the pool receiving his money.

Lee and Amanda were halfway through the bullpen when Lee stopped, a questioning look on his face.  "Amanda?"

Amanda turned to face him, and replied,  "Yeah?"

"You never did tell me what that errand was last night."

"Stetson,"  Amanda chuckled,  "That's because it's need to know.  And on a need to know basis, you definitely don't need to know!"

Lee stood dumbfounded for a second as Amanda continued to the elevator.  "Amanda!" He called, running to catch up with her.  "C'mon, that's not fair!"

"Whoever said life was fair, Scarecrow,"  Amanda laughed at the look on Lee's face as they stepped in the elevator and Lee took her hand.

"I could just interrogate you until you crack."

"Hmmm, that might be . . .  interesting."

"Amanda,"  Lee warned.

"Yes,"  Amanda looked up at him with innocent eyes.

Lee looked into those brown depths and sighed.  "Will I ever 'need to know'?"

"Eventually.  But until then . . ."  She drew herself up to plant a light kiss on his lips, a kiss which Lee quickly deepened, and which they were still locked in when the door to the elevator opened suddenly, and our favorite couple jumped apart, face to face with one Harry V. Thornton.

"Blind through a blizzard, eh Lee?"  the older man teased as he entered the now vacated elevator and closed the door.

The pair, finally having regained their composure, handed their badges to Mrs. Marsten and exited the Georgetown Foyer hand in hand.

The end!

***************