When one is in love with a 2000 year old Time Lord, do they tell them so? Or do they hide their love and let it silently grow over time?
When one is in love with a wide eyed human girl, do they tell her so? Or do they hide their love and continue to travel with them, trying to fool themselves into thinking they aren't head over heels in love with a control freak?
Clara, she chose the latter. As for The Doctor? He chose the latter too. They couldn't tell each other how they felt because they didn't know that the other felt the same way. They didn't tell each other, because they thought the other one would leave them if they knew.
She wants to tell him. No, she needs to tell him. So she's going to tell him this trip, she's decided. She doesn't care if he leaves, he needs to know how she feels. He needs to know that she loves him with all of her heart and she can't bare spending another second without him knowing.
And so they're wandering through an alien village, hand in hand, and she keeps stealing glances at him. He hasn't caught her looking at him yet, he's too busy smiling and ranting about the history of the planet they're on. She's looking at his smile and grinning, squeezing his hand. And then he's stopping, looking at her and raising an eyebrow.
'What'd you do that for?' He's asking.
'It's just nice to see you smiling,' she's replying, looking at the ground in front of her.
A small smile is still gracing her lips when she looks back up at him, and she sees something she didn't expect to see. He's grinning and there's a look in his eye that she's never seen before. And as soon as she she's it, it's gone. His smile is faltering and the look is gone. He's making a snide remark, telling her that he's always happy.
And then she's giggling, her smile growing, causing her dimple to show. And then that look is back in his eyes and his smile has disappeared.
'What's so funny?' He's asking, a false rudeness in his voice.
'Nothing,' she replying, the sides of her lips still curled upwards,'Now c'mon, let's go explore some more!'
Then she's dragging him off to the town square, him yelling at her as he tries to catch up. And when they get to the town square, there's a gathering of the planets natives, all socialising and shuffling around. She looks at him, a confused expression on her. He's looking around and shrugging, letting go of her hand. And then she's frowning slightly, looking down at his hand. He's looking over at her and she's quickly looking up at him, trying to pretend that she wasn't just mourning the loss of his hand in hers.
'Are you okay?' He's asking, seeing the slightly worried look on her face.
She's taking a moment to register his words and then nodding slightly,'Yeah yeah, I'm fine.'
He's nodding once and then looking into the crowd of locals.
'Don't suppose you know what's going on?' she's asking him.
He's looking at her and snorting,'Did you really need to ask that? Of course I know what's going on! Today is the day where the locals of this planet celebrate the arrival of a new leader! Once every hundred years, they choose a new leader and spend a day celebrating the new leadership. At night, they go around the town holding light sou-'
She's putting her finger on his lips,' Shut up.'
'Yes boss,' he's murmuring against her finger.
She's smiling and taking her finger off of his lips,'Good,' she's taking his hand in hers and looking into his eyes,'Now let's go see their new leader.'
So they go off to see the new leader of this planet, sneaking their way into the castle. She needs to tell him soon, she thinks. She really needs to tell him. And so she stops him when they get to the throne room door and she lets go of his hand. She looks into his eyes, a spark in her eyes, and he looks into hers, the look in his eyes one of concern.
'Why'd we stop?' He's asking.
'Because I need to tell you something,' she's whispering.
'Can it wait?'
'No, it can't. It's been waiting for way too long.'
His eyes are widening and he's nodding slightly, ducking his head so it's level with hers,'Well then, Clara Oswald, what is it that you need to tell me?'
And then she's taking a deep breath out, opening her mouth to say the three words that she's been terrified to say, when the throne room door comes bursting open next to them. Her gaze is darting towards the open door and she's frowning. He's slowly looking towards the open door, seeing a guard standing in the doorway.
'Hi,' he's saying slowly to the guard, his hand moving towards hers.
'Your majesty! Intruders!' The guard's yelling, pointing his spear towards the afore mentioned intruders.
And from somewhere deep in the throne room, a voice comes calling,' Bring them to me.'
Then the guard's grabbing their arms, dragging them into the throne room and over to the leader's throne. He throws them down onto the floor and looks up to the leader, saluting.
He's looking up to the leader, smirking,'It's nice to meet you, your majesty.'
She's shooting him an incredulous look and elbowing him. And then she's looking back at the leader,'Please forgive him, he has no manners. We're very sorry for breaking in, we just wanted to meet you.'
The leader's looking over the both of them and nodding slightly,'You are forgiven. But no one is going to break into my castle and get away with it.'
And then she's looking at him and her eyes are wide. He's reaching over and holding her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze,'It'll be okay,' he's whispering.
'Both of you are summoned to a night in a cell,' the leader shouts, gesturing for the guard to take them away.
And then the guard is dragging them off to a cell, putting them in and telling them off. And now they're here, sitting on the cold stone floor next to each other, refusing to say anything. She's looking down at the floor in front of her, a sad look in her eyes. He's looking at her, wanting to hold her hand and tell her that everything will be alright. And then he's chuckling quietly and looking down, knowing that she would probably punch him if he told her that everything would be alright.
Then she's looking over at him and raising an eyebrow,'Why're you laughing?'
He's looking over at her and smiling slightly,'I think you'll punch me if I tell you.'
'Well, now I have to know,' she's readjusting her position so she's facing him.
He breathes out a laugh,'I thought about telling you that everything would be alright, but I knew that'd you punch me if I told you that.'
And then she's laughing and it's music to his ears. She's absentmindedly reaching her hand out and intertwining her fingers with his. He's smiling contently and looking at her with hooded eyes. And then she's stopped laughing and she's looking at him. And there's that look again. The one she'd never seen before today. And then she realises, there's nothing to interrupt them this time. She can tell him.
'Doctor,' she's saying, putting on a brave face.
'Clara,' he's replying, the look no longer in his eyes.
'The thing I was going to tell you earlier...'
He's tilting his head up slightly to look at her better,'I was wondering about that. What was it that you going to say?'
She's taking a deep breath out and starting,'I don't exactly know how to say this, because I promised someone else that I would never say it again, but...' She's looking into his eyes, a desperate look in her eyes, begging him to finish what she was going to say so she doesn't have to.
And then he's turning his body so they're face to face and he's putting his free hand on her knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She's smiling slightly and he's raising his eyebrows, a cheeky grin finding its way onto his lips. And then she's laughing gently, leaning forward so that her forehead is touching his chest. She can't say it. She's in love with him, but she just doesn't have the heart to tell him.
'I love you,' she's mouthing, wrapping her arms around him.
He's wrapping an arm around her, burying his nose into the crook of her neck. And then they're sitting there in silence, both of them thinking about the thing that must never be said. Just because it could never be said, that doesn't mean it could never be shown. And they showed it everyday. By holding hands, by caring for each other, by worrying about each other when the other is in danger. Maybe, he already knows how she feels, just by the gestures she's made.
'Doctor,' she's whispering,'Do you know how I feel about you?'
And then he's laughing lightly, nuzzling further into her neck,'No, but I wish I did.'
And then she's taking her head off his chest and moving her hands to his shoulders, giving him a gentle push. He's moving his head away from the crook of her neck and looking at her wide eyes. There's a spark in her eyes. A spark that he's only seen when he sees her looking at him out of the corner of his eye. He's looking down at her lips, dropping his defences and relaxing, letting her see the same look in his eyes.
'Close your eyes,' she's whispering.
He's raising an eyebrow, asking suspiciously,'Why?'
'Just do as your told,' she's saying, a hint of playfulness in her voice.
And then the corners of his lips are turning upward and he's closing his eyes. She's sliding her hands over his shoulders and up his neck, cupping his cheeks. She's stroking his cheeks with her thumbs and examining every feature of his face. He looks so content, so calm, so happy. Why was he happy? He was just locked in an alien cell because he broke into a castle. He should be trying to find a way out. But instead, he was sitting in front of her, eyes closed, and a smile on his face.
And then she's smiling and moving her head in closer to his, stopping right before her lips get to his. She's looking at his closed eyes, feeling her heart skip a beat. His eyes start to squint open and her eyes go wide. He's opening his eyes and seeing her in front of him, his breath hitching. And then she's breathing out the only full sentence that she can form in her head,'Keep your eyes closed.'
Then his eyes are widening for a moment and he nods once, his eyes snapping shut. Her eyes are fluttering shut and she's closing the gap between them, her lips touching his for the briefest of moments. And in that moment, he feels a spark go through him and his hearts stop. And then she's pulling away and he's feeling empty. Her hands are falling off of his cheeks and she's sighing, opening her eyes. His eyes are fluttering open and he's looking at her, the look in his eyes making him seem like he's a thousand galaxies away.
'Oh,' he's saying quietly after a long moment of silence.
'Oh?' shes questioning, her voice cautious.
'Oh,' he's breathing out on a laugh, looking down at the ground under him.
She's looking at him for a moment, trying to figure out what he's thinking. She's moving her hand over to his, holding his hand loosely,'Tell me what you're thinking.'
'I'm thinking that you just kissed me,' he's murmuring, his voice lowering an octave.
And then her eyes are widening and she's smirking, placing her other hand in his free hand. He grins at her and places a quick, unsure kiss on the corner of her mouth. Then she's laughing lightly and letting go of his hands, wrapping her arms around him. He's making grunting quietly and telling her that he's still not a hugging person. And then she's laughing again, telling him that it's either this or kissing. He's sighing in defeat and uncomfortably enveloping her in his arms.
When one is in love with a 2000 year old Time Lord, do they tell them so? The answer, she's found out, is no. They show them so.
When one is in love with a wide eyed human girl, do they tell her so? The answer, he's found out, is yes. So he tells her so.