Check List Lovers
A/N: Ok so I've been gone forever. I know, not cool. I thought I would give you guys a little I'm still alive gift. This story was inspired by another called "The List" by Delicious Distractions. For those who read it before it disappeared if you are seeing similarities that's why.
Chapter 1
Damn That List
Sakura Haruno loved Christmas. However she did not love the people who took Christmas and made it into a tool to further their own agenda's. Case in point Ino Yamanaka. Sakura's oldest and dearest friend, even if Sakura herself couldn't figure out why or how that happened. Ino was taking the Winter Dance Party scheduled to kick off Christmas break and making it into some sort of match making extravaganza.
Ino's family was filthy stinking rich just like everyone else at the school aside from Sakura. Being big time contributors to the school they held a little bit of sway over the school. Pair that with the fact that Ino had very doting parents and it resulted in what Ino wanted, Ino got it.
Which brings Sakura to the latest disaster Ino invoked at the university. The pink haired Haruno could already hear the school's good name being flushed down the toilet as she looked at the unopened envelope in front of her. Sakura's musings were brought to a sudden halt at the enraged shriek beside her.
"OH HELL TO THE NO!" Ino screamed to the sky while they sat in the courtyard. "Look at this Sakura. Oh my God, do you see this? Can you believe who they want me to go to the dance with? Oh someone is going to pay dearly for this. Not only that but because the stupid rules that came with this stupid list I actually have to 'give them a chance!'" Ino brought her fist down on the table for emphasis.
"Whoa, Bitchzilla, calm down. Given the fact that you love men in general I have a hard time believing that you're throwing such a fit over guys who will be tripping over themselves to have a chance with you."
"Did you not see the list I shoved in your face?" Ino turned disbelieving eyes on Sakura.
"You didn't shove it in my face. You forced it into my hands and ripped it away before I could finish rolling my eyes. Ergo I did not see the list. That aside you mentioned rules during your rant. What rules? It's not like we actually have to do anything with these guys. Ino why are you shaking your head at me?"
"I'm shaking my head at your obliviosity!" Ino exclaimed with over exaggerated despair.
Sakura sighed with very real despair at her friends idiocy. "I think you mean obliviousness."
"Whatever!" Ino smacked the table once more. "Did you not read the conditions that came with getting this list? It was posted right there on the machine!" Ino demanded imperious as ever.
Sakura wondered just how Ino managed to get into such a prestigious school when she was such a total air head. "Ino, I haven't gone to the machine at all as that might give you the very incorrect idea that I actually wanted to use it."
"Then how did you get the list, huh?"
"You apparently had a very lonely, very bad idea in that blond head of yours that you would buy me one since I refuse to waste money on this garbage. The point is I never saw the rules and Ino, so help me God, if you signed me up for something dumber than getting this list in the first place I will strangle you." Sakura was now radiating a death glare to end all death glares. Ino looked baffled for a moment before she started to cackle like a wicked witch.
"Oh Sakura. Misery loves company. Open your list quickly so I can see who you have to spend one hour a week with until the party. This will be sweet." Ino looked very smug and malicious all at once. Finally curiosity got the better of Sakura. She snatched Ino's list to see what name was the cause of her over all misfortune.
1. Chouji Akimichi
That was all Sakura read before she busted up laughing. No wonder Ino was so upset. She was expecting major hotties on this list. Looks aside though it was a wonder the first guy on her list could be so accurate. Chouji Akimichi may be heavy but he was everything Ino could need in a guy. He was reliable, extremely kind, considerate, and above all he had been in love with Ino since high school and hadn't so much as glanced at another woman since. He took devotion to new levels.
If Ino could mature just a little bit more to see that he was what a boyfriend should be personality wise she would realize what a perfect match they were. Sakura thought they might be soul mates. To see that the match making machine the school had recently acquired for Ino agreed was just a little eerie.
Sakura heard paper tearing and looked up into Ino's triumphant eyes. Then those eyes melted from triumphant to baffled, to shocked and finally to rage. Ino looked at Sakura and this time Sakura thought Ino might actually try to hit her instead of the table.
"What. THE. HELL! How on earth... why did you... HOW?!" It was pretty bad if Ino couldn't string together a few sentences. Then Ino stood on the bench and stepped up onto the table to perform what Sakura would soon come to realize was an act of great cruelty. People were already staring from all Ino's shouting and now there attention was riveted by the sheer aggression flowing off her.
"SAKURA HARUNO'S IDEAL DANCE DATES NUMBER 1. ITACHI UCHIHA!" With just this one sentence Ino had damned her in the eyes of every fan girl on campus, but Ino wasn't done. "Dance Date Number 2. Kimimaro Kaguya." Girls all across the courtyard started to glare with eyes made of hate. "Dance date number 3. Deidara Iwa. Dance date number 4. Sasori Akasuna. Dance date number 5. Sai Shimura." Sakura's eye was starting to twitch rapidly. "Dance date number 6. Sasuke Uchiha. Dance date number 7. Gaara Sabaku. number 8" Sakura was beginning to feel sick under all the hate being sent her way. "Obito Uchiha. number 9. Kakashi Hatake." That would have started a riot if people had thought it was the worst of it. Ino kept reading.
"Dance date number 10. Pein Ame." Sakura shivered. She could feel the fan girls plotting her death. Damn Ino. "Number 11. Neji Hyuuga. Number 12 Shisui Uchiha. Number 13. Naruto Uzumaki. Number 14. Kiba Inuzuka. Number 15. Shikamaru Nara." The rabid fan girls were nearly at their limit but Ino continued. Bitch. "Number 16. Hidan Jashin. Number 17. Kisame Hoshigake. Number 18. Izuna Uchiha." How long did this stupid list of death go on for? "Number 19. Madara Uchiha." Ino was spitting the names out like they seared her tongue "Number 20. Kakuzu Saitou." Finally Sakura regained enough control over her shocked body to snatch the list from Ino. Reading over it she saw that she was too late. Ino had read loud enough for the entire school to hear every name on the damned list.
Sakura looked up in time to see a few fan club leaders of the men on her list of ultimate destruction storming towards her. Sakura was no coward though so she delivered a death glare of equal measure to the many being sent her way. She didn't back up, she didn't even blink. Fan bitches could smell weakness.
"Sakura Haruno, I presume?" The alpha bitch cooed with honey coated poison drenching her every word.
"What of it?" Sakura replied with more bravado than she felt.
"Let me get right to the point. Rules or no rules if you dare to approach any of the gorgeous gods of ultimate sexiness on that list, we will take great pleasure in destroying everything you love before we come for you." The fan girl sighed in obvious delight at the prospect.
"Yeah, whatever. I got it." Sakura made several faces as they turned to walk away. Then without further ado she whacked a cackling Ino upside the head. "Thanks a lot, bimbo."