((Edit~ SO I actually took this story down and now I'm puting it back up... This was due to a personal internal struggle based on the fact that this is a rather hypocritical story. But I feel like the self insertish nature of the story is also the point of it... It's kind of supposed to be satire to an extent. Though the intention is to be more randomish and silly. I haven't really gotten to those parts yet... The tone of the first chapter is not really what I was going for~ And honestly I have nothing against self inserts (what is fanfiction for anyway?) and my intention is not to make fun of anybody. I myself am a crazy fangirl so yeah... Damn... now I'm yammering... T.T Just… please don't hate me...))
((So I've gone off the deepend and wrote this instead of the next chapter of my REAL fanfiction. LOL I just needed to write a parody. My sister helped me alot with the plot~ It shall only get sillier as time goes on~))
A desolate wind blew across the wasteland and Lloyd shivered. Lightning cracked across the darkening sky. "Is it true?" Raine asked the mysterious visitor.
"Yes."
"Could it even be a threat?" Regal said skeptically
A dark and serious gaze met the blue-gray eyes. "More threatening than you will ever know."
"What that on the horizon?" Colette voice shook. The stranger swiftly turned towards the terrifying scourge bearing down on the group.
"They're here."
"It doesn't look that bad~" Zelos said lightly, "There were more adoring women at my 7th birthday party!"
"Laugh now." the stranger said menacingly, "But you don't know my people. You don't know.... Fangirls."
(DUH DUH DUH)
(Lead in with dramatic music)
~o~.~o~
It was an unusually sunny day in the diverse and eccentric city of Seattle, Washington. Somewhere in the suburbs surrounding the seaside city, there was a room. It was not an abnormal room. It had walls and a floor and many other things that one might expect a room to be in possession of. It even had an inhabitant. That was probably why most available surfaces were covered in piles of clean and dirty laundry as well as old dishes. They were mostly empty, for the inhabitant of this room was never one to refuse food, but none of them could quite be considered clean. While the room as a whole was a disaster zone, there were small holdouts of taste and organization. One shelf in the corner displayed many anime figurines all set up to look as if playing out silent scenes with one another, just above them, two elegantly dressed 1/4th scale dollfies were perched, benevolently watching the whole scene. Posters and wall scrolls depicting the inhabitant's favorite characters and Japanese pop stars completed the room's strange ensemble.
"Oh my goooooooshhhhhh." Someone was saying from an office chair in front of a computer screen, "He's sooooo pretttyyyy~ we better make that costume for you!!" It was a girl. She had long blonde hair and looked a bit disheveled as she sat in her pajamas with her knees up. She was talking on a cell phone as she scrolled through pictures on her computer. The one she had paused at was a certain swordsman. While "purple bodysuit thing" and "dead sexy" were not phrases that normally could describe the same individual, it just worked with Kratos Aurion.
"No~ I have writer's block..." She said in reply to a question on the other line, "I was thinking of just writing some crack self insert parody... Yeah I know~ But I said I'd never write fan fiction either and here I am twenty thousand words later. I'm sick of writing seriously, its frying my brain. Keh kehkeh~ it'll be so fun~ yup... Oh Okay, Love ya and talk to you later."
There was a satisfying snap and the phone clapped shut. The girl sighed and scratched behind the ears of a dusty-orange cat on her lap. Who meowed imploring as the girl shifted in her seat. "Man~", the girl commented to her cat "I wish life was more interesting~" She sighed again, and opened a tab on her browser labeled "" It was her traffic page. She hadn't updated her stories in a while so hits were becoming few and far between. She sighed, she didn't care so much about it, but she still found herself staring at that silly bar graph over and over again.
"I should really read some other stories~", she said to her cat and navigated to the front page. As usual, she went straight to "Games" and then to "Tales of Symphonia". For some reason, ToS fanfiction was always more interesting. Maybe it was because there was no more real ToS to look forward to since it was such an old game.
Though, like most collections of fan fiction, a large percentage was pretty boring. Like a million random self inserts. She could see why they might be fun to write, but couldn't get into them. The idea of someone from the real world getting sucked into ToS was a bit improbable. So she wished that people would just create OCs if they wanted to have a puppet in the story.
One brand new entry caught her eye. It was simply labeled "Portal to Symphonia" there was no description and only one chapter. "Heh, That's a great ploy to get readers~" She thought, "I wish I'd though of that myself!" She clicked on it.
She felt a small breeze whip past her shoulder, and when she turned around her room had changed quite a bit. "That's funny~ I don't remember having brown walls..." she turned back to her computer screen to find that it wasn't there. It was another brown wall. WTF?
Bella, the cat, stretched and bounded off her lap and the girl looked down to see that she was sitting on rickety-looking bed. WTF?
"H-hey~ Wait don't run off!" She decided to take care of the most immediate problem, that of her cat running off. She followed the feline out the door which led to a balcony that looked out over the... lobby? Yes it was definitely a lobby. A sort-of oldish looking lobby, like...like an old-western resort! Wait no...NO! It looked like the inn in Triet!! There was the shiny save-circle in the corner!!
Now some people might have stood in disbelief. Maybe they would have pinched themselves. This person was a bit well... different...
"HA!! BITCHES!!" She yelled spontaneously, "MAGIC DOES EXIST!!" This earned her a few odd looks from the locals so she toned it down, "Heheheee~ Screw neurology~ I can be a character in an RPG~"
"Well!" she said scooping up her cat, "Better go find the main characters!!" Though, as she stepped out into the dusty air, a feeling of uneasiness overcame her. She shook it off as best she could, but soon the reason became all too clear.
"NO!! I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER!!"
"WELL I'M THE LONG LOST CHOSEN!!
"WHERE'S KRATOS?"
All around Triet's main square people were laughing, argueing and screaming. A few had even started dancing to a very familiar tune, with their hands on either sider of their head. The girl gasped. The streets of Triet had turned into something resembling the halls of an anime convention. "This is going to be more dangerous than I thought~" She breathed to her cat.
((And thus our story begins! Err~ I think that I have to be sure that I feel like a psycho when writing this or it wont be fun~ It really is intended to be a parody though this chapter isn't too parody-ish and))
((Review maybe?))