Brian flipped through a magazine in the back of the limo, trying to decide what he'd do first when he got to Australia. Soon he'd be on a plane to down under, fucking plenty of guys and missing nothing and no one. What outfit should he wear first? He frowned at an article about some random anorexic celebrity he didn't give a shit about. The chord of alert on the radio caught his attention, but he continued reading, just barely listening to the announcer's voice.
"This just in from WDBX news. There's been an explosion at Babylon, a local gay club," Brian looked up, suddenly very alert. Maybe one of the electrics had busted. "Where a political fundraiser was underway tonight." Brian squinted at the radio, as if that could help him understand better what was going on. "Authorities fear there may be many injuries, possibly fatalities." Brian's eyes widened a fraction. Justin. Justin was there. He gripped the back of the seat hard.
"Turn around." He commanded to the driver, giving him directions to Babylon. He couldn't sit still. There was a buzzing hum of adrenaline and fear in his gut. Justin. Justin was the only word in his mind, the only thought. He closed his eyes, trying to take a breath and calm his nerves, but the picture that flashed on his closed eyelids was Justin curled on the cement in his tux, blood surrounding his head like a halo, a soiled ivory scarf, the sunshine gone. He opened his eyes and shook his head.
With a shaking hand, he fished his cell phone out of his pocket. He hit speed dial 2 and put the phone to his ear, holding his breath. One ring. Two rings.
"Pick up, Justin, come on. Pick up. Please pick up."
"You've reached Justin Taylor. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can!"
"Fuck!" He dialed again, same message. Trembling fingers placed the phone back in his pocket and he ran and hand through his hair, breathing out heavily, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.
His breath caught as they neared the club. The driver slowed and stopped. Brian hurried out of the car, taking long strides into the crowd of shaken people on the sidewalk. He looked around, uncertain of where to go, what was happening. His eyes skimmed the crowd, searching frantically for the shock of golden hair that would make everything okay. Instead he saw a different blond head.
"Jennifer." He pushed past a few shaken patrons. "Jennifer! Jennifer!" She looked up. He took her in his arms.
"Oh my god, you cant believe-"
"Are you alright?" Is Justin alright? He knew his eyes were asking. Her voice was pitched up with shock and worry.
"Justin's still in there. You gotta find him." He pushed away from her, racing through the crowd toward the smoky building. He pushed his way into Babylon, trying to see everywhere at once, but his thoughts were focused on one person.
"Justin!" He yelled into the smoke, trying to cover his face. A firefighter grabbed his arm but he shook it off. He had to find Justin. "Justin!" Please dont let anything happen to him. Please.
He looked around, scrutinizing a man on stretcher, making sure it wasn't his Sunshine. Then he recognized a man comforting someone.
"Ted? Ted! What the fuck happened?" He shook the man.
"I don't know."
"Have you seen Justin?" Ted shook his head. Now Brian was practically frantic. Please don't let anything happen to him. He pushed away and covered his mouth again, moving through the rubble, checking the faces of the people passing by him. Screams of pain and cries for help surrounded him. He saw bloody glass on the ground, looked forward to see someone covering a body. Oh god, what if he-
He made the mistake of looking up, only to see a firefighter checking a scorched corpse lying on the catwalk. Brian covered his mouth to keep from screaming. Sparks exploded to his right, and he did a double take. A young man was ducking out of a corner, helping support an injured patron. Sunshine. Brian hurried over, reaching out, grabbing Justin and pulling him close. He was alive. Even though he didn't want to, he pulled back, placing a hand on Justin's face. The side of Justin's head was bloody.
"Are you hurt?" He sounded frantic, even to himself. He put a hand to Justin's head.
"No, just scratches." Justin said dazedly, pulling Brian's hand away. "Have you seen my mother?"
"She's okay. She's outside. She's looking for you." He was shaking. He could barely make a coherent sentence. Justin was okay. He was alive and unhurt. He saw Emmett approach them.
"Oh, there you are, Baby. Thank god. I was worried sick." Emmett brushed Justin's arm. Brian looked up. Michael. Where was Michael?
"Have you seen Michael?"
"Em?" Justin asked, worried. Emmett looked at them, the expression on his face one of fear and worry and shock.
"Emmet!" Brian grabbed his friend and shook him. He stared at him. Emmett looked dazedly toward the door, nearly in tears. Brian let go of him and ran out. He hurried through the crowd, looking for Michael. Oh my god. He joined Debbie, staring down at Michael, unconscious and dirty on a stretcher. Things were moving to fast, he didn't know what to feel.
"Hurry, please!" Debbie's frantic voice brought him back. He looked at Ben, who was staring at his husband bleakly, blinking back tears.
"Debbie, they're doing the best they can." Carl said. They loaded Michael into the ambulance. Brian looked on as Ben moved to get in. An EMT stopped him.
"I'm riding with him. I'm his partner." Ben stated.
"Come on, get in." The EMT helped him into the ambulance, then the doors shut and the lights and sound faded as the ambulance rushed away.
Debbie turned toward Carl, imploring. "Get to the hospital, go please."
"I cant, I'm on duty. Get one of the boys to take you." Brian snapped out of his shocked stupor. Brian put his arm around her.
"I'll take you." He led her to the car. He didn't want to leave Justin. God, he didn't want to leave Justin. But they weren't together anymore, he had to remind himself of that, and Justin could take care of himself. They rushed to the hospital.
At the hospital, everything was moving so fast, but it all seemed to be going in slow motion. Brian arrived with Debbie. Debbie rushed to Ben, to ask him what was happening, but Brian just stood there. He knew he was sort of in shock, but he couldn't move. Michael. Fucking Christ. He shook his head. Get a grip on yourself, Kinney.
He watched helplessly as doctors and nurses rushed in and out. He watched as Debbie's sobs of worry turned into hiccups and then she and Ben were both staring out at nothing. He leaned over the counter, asking anyone what the hell was going on, was Michael okay. No one answered. Debbie got up and began to pace. Brian put a hand on Ben's shoulder, trying to comfort the man. He loved Michael almost as much as Ben did. Ben looked up in thanks.
He watched Debbie pace, unable to do anything. He knew she felt trapped. He'd felt the same way five years ago when Justin- No, he couldn't think about Justin now. He had to stay focused on Michael. A doctor exited Michael's room and he and Ben stood and stepped closer to the doctor.
"Well?" Brian was the first to find his voice. The doctor took a breath.
"He's lost a lot of blood. Before we can do anything he's going to need a transfusion."
Shit. Seriously? He thought of Mikey lying there, helpless. "Well, what the fuck are you waiting for?"
"Well, he's AB negative, we're short on his type, so we're checking other hospitals."
He looked at Debbie. She shook her head. Shit. Well, fuck waiting. He knew he could do something.
"Okay. I'm O negative. That's the universal donor, right?" He grabbed a surgical tube and wrapped it around his arm. The doctor nodded, then tugged nervously at his ear.
"Are you gay?" Brian stared at him incredulously? What the fuck kind of time was it to ask that question?
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"You know you cant give blood because of HIV." Ben answered.
"I don't have HIV." Brian's voice was clipped.
"It doesn't matter." The doctor began edging away. "Gays are considered to be too high of a risk." Brian grabbed the doctor's arm.
"What about all those straight studs and bitches who fuck around and don't use protection? You take there blood, right?" This rule was bullshit.
"It's an FDA regulation." The doctor stated. Fuck that.
"Brian-" Melanie tried to cut in softly.
"I don't give a shit!" He had to help Michael. He had to. The doctor wrenched away from Brian's grip and began to walk away. He tried to run after the man, ready to pull his limbs off, but was intercepted by Ben. "Take my blood, motherfucker!"
"Brian! Look, you couldn't give even if you were straight. You had cancer." Brian heard Ben through his haze of anger and stared toward his best friend's room. He couldn't do anything.
He sat down in a daze stared at the wall.