One always seeks the ruin of the other. The warrior and the soldier coexist in the daylight, but night falls and their truce rots. During the day they play the same role seamlessly. The warrior must stay hidden, and the soldier only seeks the adoration of his companions. But their alliance is illusionary. He dreams of murdering the other, but Reiner never knows which role is his.
Violent clashes result in limbs and blood and organs and flesh displaced, but no one wins. The soldier never kills the warrior, and the warrior never kills the soldier. The roles mix and turn and tussle before its done and one has been subdued in a bloody steaming heap, and the other falls to exhaustion. Reiner doesn't know which is which; he never knows. But there is gore and steam and these dreams bite and tear at him.
In the morning, both the soldier and the warrior remain. They fit together, finish each others sentences. When others look, they are one and the same; indistinguishable.
Reiner doesn't know when these dreams started, but their frequency is increasing. He doesn't have a side to champion, and he can't who tell is winning or losing.
- - -
There are thumbs and fists and one of them loses an eye - smashed so that the globe shatters. The skin tears like paper pushed too hard, and the bones fracture; the red of the marrow glistens in the moon light. The dream fades, and Reiner wonders which was the victor before correcting himself. Neither wins while the other is alive. Its a permanent stalemate.
- - -
They sit in the mess hall eating breakfast when Marco takes a seat across from them. He smiles. Reiner isn't suspicions, but notices Bertholdt tense beside him.How did you sleep? Marco asks, a concerned tilt to his head and an undaunted smile on his face. There's something Reiner can't place, concern or worry, or something else. Marco shifts his gaze between the two of them before Reiner brushes off the question with a joke and some well placed teasing. Marco blushes, but repeats his attempt. He reassures Reiner and Bertholdt that if there's anything either of them needs to talk about, Marco will be more than willing to listen. Marco then makes a casual escape to sit next to Jean, who has been glaring at them. Reiner watches with confusion. He turns to Bertholdt to ask, but Bertholdt is engrossed with his food, and doesn't look up or even acknowledge Reiner's prompts.
- - -
Organs are on the menu tonight. One rips away flesh and ribs with bare hands. It must be the warrior, because he sees the gleaming red of a kidney, and there's no holding him back from the writhing body beneath him. He rips and tears with teeth in a carnivorous frenzy. His face and mouth covers in sweltering blood that pulls away from his skin as he dives down for another bite. Maybe its the soldier then?
- - -
He has a moment alone with Connie on a joint mission, and Connie looks at him, colors, and then blurts out something about blow jobs. Reiner is so surprised that he blinks before a huge smile spreads across his face and he slams his hand down on Connie's back. He asks who the girl is, Connie blanches and doesn't say. He avoids answering by asking his question again with more force, and Reiner wonders how he's suppose to know how good they are when he's never had one. But ever the older brother, he gives Connie juicy details he doesn't actually have.
- - -
Bertholdt comes to him one night and quietly asks if he has any extra cloth for a patch job. Reiner thinks for a bit before deciding he can use an old scarf he held onto. Bertholdt cuts it up without another word, and goes to work sewing up the shirt he sleeps in. Reiner thinks its a strange spot for a patch job, and asks about it. He gets a blank look, before Bertholdt shakes his head and keeps working.
- - -
It takes a lot of work, but a shattered knee cap is the result; and once done, it isn't enough. The solider rips and gnaws and tears until he reaches the shattered bones, picks them out. He severs the lingering muscles, and tosses them across the room. The warrior on bottom reaches to cover his mouth, but the soldier bites, pulls away flesh, and spites it across the room. Maybe its the warrior?
- - -
Reiner wakes to the sound of ripping, and rolls over to see Bertholdt shortening the pants that he wears to bed. He gives Reienr a sideways glance, and tucks the fabric under his pillow, saying he might need it later. Reiner gawks at him; its winter.
- - -
Jean comes to them at dinner with an irritated Marco trying to catch up with him, and accuses them of being loud. Have some god damned consideration, and damn it you're to rough Reiner, he states in that Jean-esque honesty. Reiner plays it off as a joke, teasing Jean in the process, but Jean is undeterred. Bertholdt was limping earlier, he says,don't be such a jack ass. You're keeping Marco awake. Go outside if you're gonna do that shit. The way you're going at it, you're going to break the top bu- And Marco finds an opening to fling his hand over Jean's mouth and drag him away kicking and snarling.
Reiner looks towards Bertholdt for an explanation, but the look in his eyes stops any questions that Reiner might have. Bertholdt is looking at the two retreating boys intently. Reiner knows that look. Whatever is going on, they won't discuss it here.
- - -
As they're settling into bed, Bertholdt reaches over and grabs at Reiner's sleeve. You have to stop, Reiner. He states in a strong but quiet whisper. It's an order, and it's one that Reiner would follow if he knew what Bertholdt was talking about. Something doesn't feel right, but Reiner dismisses it, and Bertholdt. You're just tired, he says. Go to sleep. We'll deal with it in the morning.
- - -
The dream is darker, louder. Rain storms the roof tiles and there's no moon this time. When the soldier reaches for the warrior, neither can see the other, and they both struggle. They both fight back. He is pinned and on top and he switches between the two. He settles above, hands around a neck, and tightens. It isn't as brutal as the other fights because there is only blunt force and hands around a neck, but the warrior is agonizing beneath him. Or maybe its the soldier? Wouldn't the warrior bite?
There is a flash of lightning, and it isn't the warrior, or the soldier beneath him. There is a delay, and a boom.
Reiner's brain is slow to process as arms loop under his arm pits and pull back. Coughing and gasping confirms what he has already realized. He hasn't been dreaming.
- - -
Bertholdt reassures Marco, between wheezing and stuttered stops, that nothing is wrong. Reluctantly, Marco climbs down to the bunk he shares with Jean. Only now that they are alone can Reiner pull his mind out of dazed oblivion. Bertholdt is settling down to sleep as if nothing happened, as if he doesn't have huge matching bruises and fractured bones in his neck.
Theres a flash of lightning and a delayed boom of thunder. Reiner jumps. He doesn't know what to do, but that's never stopped him before. He crawls back onto his side of the bunk, before edging closer to Bertholdt. He's going to apologize, he has to do something, but he doesn't get the chance.
I'm just tired, Bertholdt says. Go to sleep. We'll deal with it in the morning.
With Bertholdt's back turned towards him, Reiner doesn't know what he can do. He edges closer, until his head is nestled into the back of Bertholdt's neck. He closes his eyes, breathes, and Bertholdt doesn't stop him.