Once upon a time there was a widow-woman who lived with her three beautiful grown daughters, Lacie (the blonde), Alice (the brunette), and Celia (the redhead). Now, if this old Mrs. Bacon had a fault, it was that she had some quite old-fashioned notions about the proper conduct of young ladies – at least, for ones who still lived under her roof. As this inevitably caused conflict between her and her vivacious daughters, there eventually came a point where it was mutually decided the three damsels would move out and find places of their own in which to live. And so, after packing their bags, the sisters said their tearful goodbyes, and set out to discover what the wide and wicked world had in store for them.
The first damsel, Lacie (the blonde), had been walking for a short distance when she encountered a farmer carting a wagon of straw. One moment later she purchased the straw and then, using her charms (helped along by her blue miniskirt and lilac low-cut blouse) she persuaded a few of the local young men to build her a snug little house out of the straw, which she immediately moved into.
But just as she was settling down….
Knock, knock!
"Who's there?" she called out.
"It's The Wolf!" announced The Wolf. He was dressed in a jacket and tie, and held a dozen long-stemmed red roses in one hand, and a box of chocolates in the other.
"No, I'm not speaking to you, Wolfy!" Lacie opened the door a crack, but kept the chain on. "I saw you and Red Riding Hood together!"
"Lacie, baby, don't be all like that!" he pleaded. "Red's just an old friend! All I was doing was giving her a friendly greeting!"
"You were hugging her!" accused Lacie.
"It was a friendly hug."
"It was a lot more than a friendly hug. You two had your arms all over each other!"
"No, baby, it wasn't like that at all!"
"I know what I saw, Wolfy!"
"Listen, Lacie, a relationship requires trust," explained The Wolf, changing to a stern tone. "And if you can't trust me then I'm just going to leave!"
"Fine, go away, see if I care!" returned Lacie.
"Oh, c'mon Lacie, you know I didn't really mean it. Now open this door!"
"No, I'm not going to. Now go away or I'll call the cops!" And with a thud the door closed in The Wolf's face.
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!" threatened The Wolf.
"Yeah, right, I'd really like to see you do that!" scoffed Lacie. The straw walls of the house were so thin that she had no trouble hearing him even with the door shut.
The Wolf took a deep breath and then blew with all of his might.
"My lovely house!" cried out Lacie in dismay as she looked about, for all that remained of it was the door and a few wisps of straw.
The Wolf quickly pulled out a handful of brightly-colored bandanas (for he always carried some about in case of emergency), and then seeing that Lacie was in shock and offering no resistance, he used the bandanas to truss her in a hog-tie. He used a solid red bandana to bind her shapely ankles together, while a yellow with blue polka dots bandana was tied just below her knees. Her wrists were bound with an alternating navy-blue and white stripes bandana, while he used his long tie (green background with yellow triangles) to connect her arms and legs.
Lacie's mouth was gaping open, so The Wolf stuffed an off-white bandana inside, and concluded her gagging by tying a large rainbow patterned bandana over her mouth. He picked her up, and carried her off to his penthouse apartment atop a tall skyscraper in the Big City (Syracuse, if you must know) where he deposited her on his living room rug.
"Mpfff!" she exclaimed.
The Wolf fiddled with his remote, causing soft strains of modern jazz to fill the room. Humming softly to himself he put on a new tie (broad red and narrow green stripes), filled his pockets with more bandanas, picked up the roses and box of chocolates, and then, leaving Lacie to ponder her future, walked out the door.
-
The second damsel, Alice (the brunette), had been walking for a somewhat longer distance when she encountered a lumberjack carting a wagon of sticks. One moment later she purchased the sticks and then, using her charms (helped along by her red halter-top and black short shorts) she persuaded a few of the local young men to build her a snug little house out of the sticks, which she immediately moved into.
But just as she was settling down….
Knock, knock!
"Who's there?" she called out.
"It's The Wolf!" announced The Wolf, just like before.
"No, I'm not speaking to you, Wolfy!" Alice opened the door a crack, but kept the chain on, just as her sister had. "I saw you and Goldilocks together!"
"I don't suppose it would do me any good," sighed The Wolf, "to explain that I was just giving her a friendly hug?"
"No, it wouldn't!" agreed Alice as she slammed the door shut.
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!" threatened The Wolf. He waited a moment, but there was no reply because Alice couldn't hear him through the walls of sticks. So he finally took a deep breath and huffed and puffed for all he was worth.
"My lovely house!" cried out Alice in dismay as she looked about, for all that remained of it was the door and a few stray sticks.
The Wolf had no more trouble using his bandanas to hog-tie and gag Alice than he had with her sister, and a short while later Alice found herself lying on his living room rug next to Lacie, who, due to The Wolf's expert tying (or possibly for some other reason) had made absolutely no progress in freeing herself from her predicament.
"Mpfff!" exclaimed Alice.
And The Wolf, humming to himself again, once more put on a new tie (a somber gray affair this time), replenished his supply of bandanas, picked up the roses and box of chocolates, and leaving Alice and Lacie to ponder their futures, walked out the door.
-
The third damsel, Celia (the redhead) had been walking for quite a long ways indeed when she encountered a mason carting a wagon of bricks. One moment later she purchased the bricks and then, using her charms (helped along by her green one-piece swimsuit and violet sarong) she persuaded a few of the local young men to build her a snug little house out of the bricks, which she immediately moved into.
But just as she was settling down….
Knock, knock!
"Who's there?" she called out.
"It's The Wolf!" announced The Wolf for the third time.
"No, I'm not speaking to you, Wolfy!" Celia opened the door a crack, but kept the chain on, just as her sisters had. "I saw you and Snow White together!" And before The Wolf could respond she slammed the door shut as loudly as she could.
"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!" threatened The Wolf, taking a deep breath, but huff and puff as he might the solid brick house continued to stand.
"Then I'll climb down the chimney!" he decided, scooting around to the garage where he found an aluminum ladder which he leant against the house.
"What's that crazy wolf think he's doing?" wondered Celia. "Slide down my chimney, will he? Well, I'll soon put a stop to that!"
She placed a large caldron in her fireplace, and then, once The Wolf slid inside, slammed its enormous lid over his head. She gave a grunt as she lifted up her unabridged dictionary and placed that heavy book on top of the lid, weighing it down so that The Wolf was helplessly trapped inside.
"Hey, baby, let me out of here!" he pleaded in muffled tones.
"Drop dead," she replied, as she settled down on the couch and turned on her TV.
"I wonder if there's anything good on?" She idly surfed through a few channels, quickly becoming bored. She looked over at the caldron, and thought of The Wolf inside, smiling as she did so. She yawned, got up and stretched, walked into the kitchen, poured a glass of lemonade, drank deeply, and walked over to the caldron again. "You doing okay in there?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm having a great time, baby," answered The Wolf. "What do you use this thing for, anyhow?"
"This and that," she answered vaguely and stretched her arms, knocking off the dictionary in the process.
"Gotcha!" exclaimed The Wolf bounding out of the caldron.
"Eek!" exclaimed Celia. She turned to run, but for some reason her legs didn't seem to work properly, and one minute later she was hog-tied and gagged just as her two sisters had been.
"Mpfff!" she exclaimed a few minutes later when she was placed down on the carpet in The Wolf's penthouse next to Lacie (the blonde) and Alice (the brunette). Neither one had been able to get free while The Wolfe had been out fetching Celia (the redhead).
"Hey, it's great to see the three of you are back together again," observed The Wolf. He carefully applied a fake mustache, long and curly in the style favored by old silent-movie villains, to his upper lip. "Is anybody up for a little role playing?"
"Mpfff!" excitedly agreed the three Bacon sisters. It turned out to be quite an evening for everyone!