This wasn't what she did. This wasn't where she went.
Peeling walls, oozing booze, lewd men and scotch on her breath, this was not what she was supposed to be.
She needed help. She told the woman she needed help, and she had ducked out of that office as if she were stealing something. Stealing. Like he had done. And the kicker was that Elliot had a daughter who stole his credit card and he was the only one who could have, should have noticed. But family always came first with him.
Scotch. Ice.
"did you go?"
It would be Cragen who sit down beside her and orders a soda water, his sober, clear eyes on her face.
"Yeah."
"Did it help?" he's the one who laid the appointment card on her desk and told her to go, and she knew it wasn't official, she knew it wasn't required. But somewhere along the line she knew he put it together, because he was Cragen, because he had decided to take care of her when Elliot had decided to stop caring if she was hurting.
She thought she was done crying. She thought that she could ignore the pain and lactic acid running through her skin. She thought she was done feeling for the night, that after a few drinks she would go home, step over pizza boxes and clothes and make her way to the TV and couch and fall asleep for two hours. She would kill for two hours.
She thought she was done crying, but she's blubbering all over her boss and the fact alone makes her laugh, but she's crying, so it's all mixed up and she's all mixed up and she's done. She has never been more done with all of it than she has, right there, in Don's arms.
"Liv?"
She shakes her head. When she goes to stand she almost falls over. He catches her and pays the tab. When they go down the stairs, she is careful Her mother died on these stairs.
"I'm sorry Don."
"Easy on the curb. Let's get you home"
"I'm sorry."
And she's whispering I'm sorry over and over and she wonders if he is hearing her, because he doesn't answer.
"Detective."
"Sir?"
"You're going to be okay. We're going to get this worked out. You're going to be okay."
She wants so badly to believe him. But then she's back at Sealview, his cock right next her mouth and she's cuffed, and she's hiding, and she can't scream any louder and the world has to be crashing down on her.
"Olivia."
She looks at him, "It's over. You're safe now."
The wind hits her back. It's getting cold. She shivers.