Once, long before the grass grew on the earth. Long before the tide swam on the beach. There lived a cat. This cat was a very special cat. It could eat dirt. Its name was Treenose. It had no mother nor father. Only itself. Now this cat sang songs, long dreadfully boring, songs. This cat was a little muscian. It had no love. It had no hope, it was only alone, but ate dirt. One night when the sky high in the dreadful night sky, the cat walked a lonely road. The only one that it ever known. It was afraid of knomes. And ate dirt. But once it met a cat name Staplecandle. Long trees as its legs. Branches stuck out of its face. And it ate trees. This cat met Treenose one day, when it was sleeping, in the dirt. Now Treenose was eating the dirt of course. When.. Plado came and attacked him! Then Staplecandle lulled it to sleep with its lovely singing, "Ugg.. Ug, Ug. Ugg Ugg Ug ug." the creature was soon asleep. Treenose gasped and screeched, "You have eyes!" Staplecandle gasped, "You have paws!" They looked eachother in the face and both said, "Yum." When the sun began to set on this fateful day the two cried. They cried a mournful song. Singing in the top of the voice. Then out of the mists of the sunset came the wind. It blew through faces ripping them almost off, bloodspilled from their wounds, making them happy. Because they were people. Their faces bleed so long they almost died from lack of blood. The oceans came flying through sky everyday and then swept across the earth and brought the light of day! I'm alive, I'm aaalive. When Treenose awoke his partner had left him to grieve for his lose. And then he sang. The song of solitude, "When I was alone, I sang a sad song and ate dirt. When I was with Staplecandle I bleed almost to death. But I love him. So very much. Because he ate trees! Today I cry, because my butt is crying from its solitude. Tonight I sing a lullaby, to my lover, Staplecandle, who was a man. With hairy legs. I cry tonight. Bye Bye Bye! I don't ever want to hear you say, whitch Backstreed Boy is gay!" His voice drounded the ears of wind, and carried his song to Staplecandle.
Staplecandle from his nights sleep. The song ripped through his ears breaking his tail. Then he cried. First he ate a tree then started off into the unknown. Then suddenly a unicorn came. Then a rhino came and ate it. Poor unicorn. Staplecandle ran to the rhino and buck the rhino up a mountain with its powerful tree legs. The rhino screamed with rage and the unicorn neighed from inside. Then the rhino hads Gurds and splattered the unicorn onto the ground. The unicorn barfed up Treenose. Staplecandle watched with binoculars from the bottom of the mountain gasping at the sight of a hawk. The hawk swam down the ocean and took the rhino away. Then the hawk had a baby, it was a cat. It was Treenose! Staplecandle gasped with joy. "Treenose I love you!" he cried into the ocean, then barfed up Treenose. He gasped and then the rhino pooed and there was Treenose. Then lost his eyes. He smiled, "Treenose your back!" But actullay it was a tiger. The tiger roared then ate Staplecandle. Staplecandle swam through the intestens of the tiger coming out of its ears. Then the plado came back and said, "I love you Treenose!" Then Treenose nodded. The Koolaidman and said. "Oh Yeah!" Then Treenose said, "I do." And the Unicorn and the Pilsberrydough man lived happily ever after.