Disclaimer: Tolkin owns much of this. But I own the rest! :P
To thy person who doest fearest me so much, thy must notist say thy name: Uhhh...thanks, I think..
Lori: How am I going?
elven princess of mirkwood: ^___^ ^___^ ^___^ thankyou. :)
Uuneaor means firey sun.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Ana smiled softly, as she watched her baby boy sleep in the sling. Figwit brushed his face gently, and took her hand.
They were riding back to Rivendel, with Lord Elrond, and Lady Arwen.
Suddanly, Ana stiffened, and groaned.
"Oh for fucks sake!" She exclaimed, and Figwit guestered the others to keep going. "Antonia, I officaly disovwn you as my twin!"
"What is it?"
"You don't want to know." Ana sighed.
"Yes, melamin, I do."
Ana sighed. "Antonia and I share feelings...and not always ones we want to feel..."
"Meaning?"
"Her and Legolas are probally..."
Figwit started laughing. "Oh really? Arwen!"
"No...don't..."
Arwen came over, from where she and her father were setting up camp for the night.
"Could you take Uueanor for a while?" Figwit asked. "Ana wants to wash."
Arwen grinned, and took Uueanor eagerly, and returned to camp, where Lord Elrond stopped what he was doing to play with the little boy.
Figwit pulled Ana onto his horse, and rode for a good while away from camp.
Ana groaned again, and swore. "I'm going to kill her next time I see her."
Figwit laughed. "She can feel you too right?"
"Quite possibly."
Figwit ran his hand under her tunic. "Then let us see if our lovemaking can beat theirs..."
Ana giggled. "Your nuts! You know I'm too injured to..."
Figwit's only respnse was to lower her to the ground, and kiss her deeply, as he removed her clothes. He looked up, smiling. "There are other ways to give pleaseure to my lady."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana and Figwit returned a few hours later, holding hands. They were wet, from washing. Ana held out her arms to Uueanor, who looked up at her with his unfocased eyes.
"How was he?"
Arwen laughed, as Elrond sent her a deathglare. "Oh fine. Peed in father's eyes."
"Oh you poor thing." Ana giggled, and whispered to the baby. "Good boy, Uueanor. Third male so far. You'll carry on our legacy yet..."
"Whats to eat? I'm starving." Figwit sat down, and rested his head on Ana's side.
"After all the noise you two made 'washing', it is no wonder." Elrond gave him a plate.
"Washing is a very hard exercise." Ana poked out her tounge. "Very, very hard." She took a large chunk of a sausage, and burst out laughing as Figwit went red.
"You'd never think your a mother." Elrond smiled.
"You'd never think you had a sense of humor, after the councai..." Ana broke off. "Opps..."
"You also were hiding?" Elrond raised a eyebrow at her.
"Possibly..."
"Figwit..." Elrond looked over at Figwit.
"She followed." Figwit defended himself. "I had no say in the matter. You know Lady Ana."
"Yes we do." Arwen nodded.
Elrond looked away as Ana started feeding Unneanor. She laughed, as she noticed him diverting his eyes.
"Look, godfather, one day you will want to tease him about this. Besides, when Arwen marries Aragorn, she'll have to do the same thing."
Elrond nodded. "I suppose you also know the future..."
"Yep indeady, I do." Ana nodded. "And seeing as you cannot do anything about the fellowship right now, I can tell you not to worry too much. Oh, and Aragorn is having second thoughts about rejecting the throne. Oh, and Gandy isn't dead. And he's now Gandalf the white."
At this Elrond looked at her in wonder. "Really? Do you speak the truth?"
"Yes Elrond. But the future is chanagable, so don't stop what I told you." Ana stroked the baby's ear.
"I would not dream of it." Elrond nodded, and turned away.
Arwen looked pleased. "So I will marry Aragorn?"
"You will, if Elrond doesnt change the future." Ana leaned over, and shook Arwen's hand. "Hello, Queen Arwen of Gondor."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
That night, they were overtaken by another two Riders. Lori, and Boromir.
Ana sat up, and stared at him.
"You are supposed to be dead."
"I am dead to this world." Boromir answered. "I am leaving to Lori's world."
"Lori..."
Lori shrugged. "I couldn't resist him." Boromir kissed her hand, and she grinned.
Elrond sat Boromir down, to dress the wounds.
"What about the boat they found in Gondor?"
"Taken care of." Lori answered, and took a seat next to Ana. "We put bloody clothes, Boromir's weapons and shelid, his horn, and all the orcs he killed in the boat."
"You think it will work?"
"Well, we could hardly leave a 'Boromir is dead' note, could we?" Lori answered.
"True." Ana smiled at the sleeping Figwit. "Arn't elves cute when they sleep?"
"Absolotly." Lori smiled. "But isn't Boromir's chest nice and...mmmm.." She grinned widly as Elrond took off Boromirs shirt competly. "...perfect."
"Not as good as Figwit."
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not"
A snort from Figwit, who burst out laughing nearby. He got up, looked at them strangly, and went over to Boromir.
"What is it?" Boromir asked, as they kept their 'is too, is not' up.
"Oh...nothing..." Figwit smiled. "They are fighting over who is better looking, you or me."
Boromir smiled. "And now?"
Figwit strained his ears.
Lori sighed, and sat back. "Well, I guess...Legolas is better than both of them, chest wise."
"Agreed. Better kisser too. More onion?"
"Agreed. I would love more onion."
Figwit looked offended, and repeated what just happened to Boromir.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
"Oh we aint gotta barrel of money!"
"Maybe we're ragged and funny!"
"But we'll travel along"
"Singing our song!"
"Side by side!"
"Oh we aint gotta barrel of money!"
"Maybe we're ragged and funny!"
"But we'll travel along"
"Singing our song!"
"Side by side!"
"Oh we aint gotta barrel of money!"
"Maybe we're ragged and funny!"
"But we'll travel along"
"Singing our song!"
"Side by side!"
"Girls!" Elrond snapped.
Ana shrugged. "We don't know anymore than those lines."
"Not our fault." Lori added, pouting. "Are we there yet?"
Ana laughed, as Elrond started strangly at Lori.
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"Lori!" Elrond snapped again.
Ana sighed smiling, and leaned back against Figwit. "Boromir's gonna have fun with her."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Rivendel came into veiw, one long week later. Figwit took Ana up to his quarters, in the east of Rivendel, a twenty minuite walk from the main group of buildings, in the forset. It was split level, made from blue stone and thick wood.
"Welcome home, milady." Figwit picked her and her baby, and placed her on a sofa. "When's dinner?"
Ana glared at him. "I'm used to eletric ovens, and eletric frypans, thankyou very much. And microwaves, with tv dinners."
"eletic...miro.." Figwit looked confused. "What?"
"I'll take you to my world soon." Ana sighed and lay back with Uueanor lying on her chest. "You know how to cook. I'm exauseted."
"Motherhood is easy! How could you be exausted?" Figwit exclamined, and she glared at him.
"You really belive that?"
"Yes."
Ana stood, and pushed the boy in his arms. "Go untill this time tomorrow without my help, and then if you still think that, I'll cook dinner every night."
Figwit smirked. "Deal." He smelt something bad, and Ana laughed as his nose wrinkled.
"His nappy needs changing, and you'll have to wash the nappy, plus some others from traveling. He also needs a bath run, and some clothes washed. Call me when your done, I'll feed him." She walked off. "I'm going to ask Arwen for help with dinner."
Figwit watched helplessly as she walked outside. "Ana!"
"Tenna' telwan, adar!" //Untill later, father!//
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana and Arwen returned, with a servent, and food. Figwit was no-where in sight, but they could hear a baby crying not too far away.
Ana looked hesitent, and started in the directian, but Arwen put her hand on Ana's arm.
"Ho baur heltha henio." //He needs to understand// Arwen led her to the kitchen. "But now, you need to learn to cook."
A hour later, and the stove was started. Two hours later, and Figwit emerged with Uueanor, who was badly wrapped in a thick woolen blanket, and was looking teary. He sat down at the table, with a sigh.
"Are you ok?"
"It's easy." Figwit groaned, as Uneanor started to cry. "Eeasssyy."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana snuck out late that night, and walked to Isilme-wilwarin's grave. The moonlight caused little flecks to dance on the grave, and Ana curled up next to it, and started to cry. She fell asleep there, next to her little girl's grave.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Boromir gripped Lori's hand tightly as they walked slowly up the hill, with Elrond watching from the bottem. As usual, suddanly the weather changed, and birds sung different songs...exept...
"Where are we?" Lori looked around at the gumtrees, and looked back. A path, a backyard, a little house.
"I was hoping you'd know." Boromir touched the ashfelt road, and jumped back as a car raced by. "What was that!"
"A car Boromir." Lori scratched her head. "I can't belive it..."
Boromir gripped his sword. "Cars are rare?"
"No. I think...this is Australia! What the hell..."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Moments after Lori & Bormior arivved in Australia, they heard some rather familor noises from behind. They looked behind them, and saw the forset from Middle Earth shimmering fainly, against the gumtrees and shrubs. Ana, Figwit, and baby came up the hill, and Middle Earth vanished.
"Lori?"
"Ana?" Lori shrieked, and hugged her tighly, trying not to squash the boy.
"Tis good to see you again, Boromir." Figwit clapped him on the back. "I will not have to face the perils of this world alone."
Another car rushed past, and Figwit jumped.
"Apparently it is called a 'car'" Boromir smiled. "Acording to my lady, it tis nothing to fear."
"I see..." Figwit eyed the black car as it vanished behind cows. "I know those beasts. Cows."
"Yes..." Ana nodded. "Cows. Right. Lori, what are you doing here?"
Lori shook her head. "No idea. I walked up the hill, and boo! Australia."
Ana sighed. "Another great mystery to be solved. But we don't have much time. You guys want to come? Figwit and I are going to devolp photos I took of the babies."
"Sure." Lori shrugged. "Maybe I'll go back with you to have a talk with Elrond."
Ana took Figwit's hand, and led them down the path, to her little home. Figwit smiled as he saw horses eying them.
"This world is not so strange after all..."Figwit muttered and jumped as a blue tounged lizerd ran under the little house.
"Speak for yourself..." Boromir's hand again went to his sword (the other sword, you dirty minded auther/reader) as he stared at a kangaroo in a paddioc lazing in the sunshine, a joey poking out of it's belly.
"What are those strange beasts?" Figwit paused, as the kangaroo got up, watching them.
"Kangaroos. If you get too close, they kick. Their kicks can kill, so don't feed them, or anything." Ana opened the door, and made them sit. "Figwit, Boromir, do not touch anything! Got me?"
She went into her room, with Lori. Smiling, she lay the baby down on her made bed.
The phone started ringing, and Ana rushed to get it. She found Boromir, and Figwit standing over it sword and bow raised at it.
"Relax. It's a phone." Ana picked it up. "Hello? Hi mom...yes I'm fine...and Antonia...shes gone to a friends...she was going to tell you, but the bus was leaving...i was about to call you..." Suddanly Ana gasped. "Hold on mom..."
"What is it?"
"What the hell am I going to tell her about Uuneaor? And the missing arm?"
"Tell her the full truth." Lori called.
"Do you think it will work?" Ana called back.
"Photos. Elf in your home." Lori called from Ana's room.
Ana nodded weakly, and picked up the phone. "Mom? Is dad around?....damm....I want you to meet the baby's father....mum! dont say that...mum!...." She hung up, and sighed. "She's on her way with dad. Be scared Figwit. Be very scared."
Figwit went pale. "Your father?"
"Yes."
Figwit pulled off his pack, and pulled out a velvet bag. "Then I better give this to you."
"What is it?" Ana opened it, and gasped in delight. A little, gold dimaond ring! "Oh! Oh!"
Figwit laughed as she attached herself to him.
Lori came in, and drooled over the ring, while Uuneaor slept in the room.
A hard knock came from the door, and Ana froze.
"Here we go..." Ana forced Figwit, Lori and Boromir to sit on the couch.
She let in the parents.
Ana's mom sat down on the armchair, and her dad sat on the other one. They were glaring at Boromir and Figwit.
Ana sat down, and started to explain.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana's father shot a 'You touched my baby girl' look to Figwit, as Ana and her mother cooed at Unneaor. "I hope you can provide for Ana."
"I can, sir." Figwit looked uncomfatble. "I am a lord in my land, and we now own a few homes..."
"A lord!" Ana's mother exclaimed. "Wonderfull. Anthony, leave our poor son-in-law alone. He will look after Ana fine."
Anthony just glared at Figwit. "If he takes such good care of her, then why was he not there to stop the stabbing? It's bad enough you got her pregneat, and were forced to marry her."
"Dad!"
"No Ana. I don't want you leaving home, and playing house." Anthoy glared at Figwit with more intesnaty. "You are a little girl, and there is no way I'm going to let you run around the country side with a baby and a man with pointy ears."
"Dad!" Ana went red. "Firstly, he is an elf. E L F. And concidering I've been 'playing house' for over a year now, I'm pretty sure I can handle it."
"Anthony, I think she can handle it." Ana's mom looked up from Uuneaor. "Ana, dear, would you like us to takt the photos to be devolped?"
"Yes please...but I would like to see them first, with Figwit." Ana smiled at her mom.
"You!" Anthony snapped, and Figwit jumped. "Porno shots! Your a pimp! I knew it! My poor baby girl..."
"No, dad! I just want to be with Figwit while we look at them." Ana made him sit, and gave her mother the films. "Its just that...my little girl...we want to be alone."
Ana's mother pushed Anthony outside, and winked reasurlinly at Ana and Figwit. "We'll be back in a hour or two."
Ana sighed, and flopped onto the couch, and rested her head on Figwit's lap. "Fathers. Who needs them?"
"Uuneaor does." Figwit smiled, as Uuneaor made a small smile, and pulled his long dark hair. "He seems to like my hair."
"Good, because I'll kill you if you cut it. Dad hated it." Ana grinned, as Figwit brushed her lips with his fingers. "I think it made him a little...uneasy. He was a hippy once."
"Hippy?"
"Nevermind."
"Owww!" Figwit pulled the little fist off his hair. "He dosnt seem to be bothered by one arm. Uses it very well."
Boromir and Lori emerged from the spare room. Lori's hair was messed, and Boromir, and Lori's lips were swollen.
"Is it safe?"
"No." Ana smiled. "Maybe we should leave first, and then you can use the kitchen table. But wash it afterwoods..."
"Ana!" Lori threw a piece of paper at her, and Boromir wrapped his arms around Lori's waist.
"Sorrryyy..."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Boromir grinned as the lights went out. He snuck to Lori, and wrapped his arms around her, as they started a movie.
"Milady, I do belive you have wronged me." He whispered, and little shivers went down her.
"How so, Boro?" She turned her head towards him.
Boromir laughed softly, and licked up her neck, to her ear. "I'm not sure."
His hands pulled her to him, and held her in his arms.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
To thy person who doest fearest me so much, thy must notist say thy name: Uhhh...thanks, I think..
Lori: How am I going?
elven princess of mirkwood: ^___^ ^___^ ^___^ thankyou. :)
Uuneaor means firey sun.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Ana smiled softly, as she watched her baby boy sleep in the sling. Figwit brushed his face gently, and took her hand.
They were riding back to Rivendel, with Lord Elrond, and Lady Arwen.
Suddanly, Ana stiffened, and groaned.
"Oh for fucks sake!" She exclaimed, and Figwit guestered the others to keep going. "Antonia, I officaly disovwn you as my twin!"
"What is it?"
"You don't want to know." Ana sighed.
"Yes, melamin, I do."
Ana sighed. "Antonia and I share feelings...and not always ones we want to feel..."
"Meaning?"
"Her and Legolas are probally..."
Figwit started laughing. "Oh really? Arwen!"
"No...don't..."
Arwen came over, from where she and her father were setting up camp for the night.
"Could you take Uueanor for a while?" Figwit asked. "Ana wants to wash."
Arwen grinned, and took Uueanor eagerly, and returned to camp, where Lord Elrond stopped what he was doing to play with the little boy.
Figwit pulled Ana onto his horse, and rode for a good while away from camp.
Ana groaned again, and swore. "I'm going to kill her next time I see her."
Figwit laughed. "She can feel you too right?"
"Quite possibly."
Figwit ran his hand under her tunic. "Then let us see if our lovemaking can beat theirs..."
Ana giggled. "Your nuts! You know I'm too injured to..."
Figwit's only respnse was to lower her to the ground, and kiss her deeply, as he removed her clothes. He looked up, smiling. "There are other ways to give pleaseure to my lady."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana and Figwit returned a few hours later, holding hands. They were wet, from washing. Ana held out her arms to Uueanor, who looked up at her with his unfocased eyes.
"How was he?"
Arwen laughed, as Elrond sent her a deathglare. "Oh fine. Peed in father's eyes."
"Oh you poor thing." Ana giggled, and whispered to the baby. "Good boy, Uueanor. Third male so far. You'll carry on our legacy yet..."
"Whats to eat? I'm starving." Figwit sat down, and rested his head on Ana's side.
"After all the noise you two made 'washing', it is no wonder." Elrond gave him a plate.
"Washing is a very hard exercise." Ana poked out her tounge. "Very, very hard." She took a large chunk of a sausage, and burst out laughing as Figwit went red.
"You'd never think your a mother." Elrond smiled.
"You'd never think you had a sense of humor, after the councai..." Ana broke off. "Opps..."
"You also were hiding?" Elrond raised a eyebrow at her.
"Possibly..."
"Figwit..." Elrond looked over at Figwit.
"She followed." Figwit defended himself. "I had no say in the matter. You know Lady Ana."
"Yes we do." Arwen nodded.
Elrond looked away as Ana started feeding Unneanor. She laughed, as she noticed him diverting his eyes.
"Look, godfather, one day you will want to tease him about this. Besides, when Arwen marries Aragorn, she'll have to do the same thing."
Elrond nodded. "I suppose you also know the future..."
"Yep indeady, I do." Ana nodded. "And seeing as you cannot do anything about the fellowship right now, I can tell you not to worry too much. Oh, and Aragorn is having second thoughts about rejecting the throne. Oh, and Gandy isn't dead. And he's now Gandalf the white."
At this Elrond looked at her in wonder. "Really? Do you speak the truth?"
"Yes Elrond. But the future is chanagable, so don't stop what I told you." Ana stroked the baby's ear.
"I would not dream of it." Elrond nodded, and turned away.
Arwen looked pleased. "So I will marry Aragorn?"
"You will, if Elrond doesnt change the future." Ana leaned over, and shook Arwen's hand. "Hello, Queen Arwen of Gondor."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
That night, they were overtaken by another two Riders. Lori, and Boromir.
Ana sat up, and stared at him.
"You are supposed to be dead."
"I am dead to this world." Boromir answered. "I am leaving to Lori's world."
"Lori..."
Lori shrugged. "I couldn't resist him." Boromir kissed her hand, and she grinned.
Elrond sat Boromir down, to dress the wounds.
"What about the boat they found in Gondor?"
"Taken care of." Lori answered, and took a seat next to Ana. "We put bloody clothes, Boromir's weapons and shelid, his horn, and all the orcs he killed in the boat."
"You think it will work?"
"Well, we could hardly leave a 'Boromir is dead' note, could we?" Lori answered.
"True." Ana smiled at the sleeping Figwit. "Arn't elves cute when they sleep?"
"Absolotly." Lori smiled. "But isn't Boromir's chest nice and...mmmm.." She grinned widly as Elrond took off Boromirs shirt competly. "...perfect."
"Not as good as Figwit."
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not"
A snort from Figwit, who burst out laughing nearby. He got up, looked at them strangly, and went over to Boromir.
"What is it?" Boromir asked, as they kept their 'is too, is not' up.
"Oh...nothing..." Figwit smiled. "They are fighting over who is better looking, you or me."
Boromir smiled. "And now?"
Figwit strained his ears.
Lori sighed, and sat back. "Well, I guess...Legolas is better than both of them, chest wise."
"Agreed. Better kisser too. More onion?"
"Agreed. I would love more onion."
Figwit looked offended, and repeated what just happened to Boromir.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
"Oh we aint gotta barrel of money!"
"Maybe we're ragged and funny!"
"But we'll travel along"
"Singing our song!"
"Side by side!"
"Oh we aint gotta barrel of money!"
"Maybe we're ragged and funny!"
"But we'll travel along"
"Singing our song!"
"Side by side!"
"Oh we aint gotta barrel of money!"
"Maybe we're ragged and funny!"
"But we'll travel along"
"Singing our song!"
"Side by side!"
"Girls!" Elrond snapped.
Ana shrugged. "We don't know anymore than those lines."
"Not our fault." Lori added, pouting. "Are we there yet?"
Ana laughed, as Elrond started strangly at Lori.
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"Lori!" Elrond snapped again.
Ana sighed smiling, and leaned back against Figwit. "Boromir's gonna have fun with her."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Rivendel came into veiw, one long week later. Figwit took Ana up to his quarters, in the east of Rivendel, a twenty minuite walk from the main group of buildings, in the forset. It was split level, made from blue stone and thick wood.
"Welcome home, milady." Figwit picked her and her baby, and placed her on a sofa. "When's dinner?"
Ana glared at him. "I'm used to eletric ovens, and eletric frypans, thankyou very much. And microwaves, with tv dinners."
"eletic...miro.." Figwit looked confused. "What?"
"I'll take you to my world soon." Ana sighed and lay back with Uueanor lying on her chest. "You know how to cook. I'm exauseted."
"Motherhood is easy! How could you be exausted?" Figwit exclamined, and she glared at him.
"You really belive that?"
"Yes."
Ana stood, and pushed the boy in his arms. "Go untill this time tomorrow without my help, and then if you still think that, I'll cook dinner every night."
Figwit smirked. "Deal." He smelt something bad, and Ana laughed as his nose wrinkled.
"His nappy needs changing, and you'll have to wash the nappy, plus some others from traveling. He also needs a bath run, and some clothes washed. Call me when your done, I'll feed him." She walked off. "I'm going to ask Arwen for help with dinner."
Figwit watched helplessly as she walked outside. "Ana!"
"Tenna' telwan, adar!" //Untill later, father!//
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana and Arwen returned, with a servent, and food. Figwit was no-where in sight, but they could hear a baby crying not too far away.
Ana looked hesitent, and started in the directian, but Arwen put her hand on Ana's arm.
"Ho baur heltha henio." //He needs to understand// Arwen led her to the kitchen. "But now, you need to learn to cook."
A hour later, and the stove was started. Two hours later, and Figwit emerged with Uueanor, who was badly wrapped in a thick woolen blanket, and was looking teary. He sat down at the table, with a sigh.
"Are you ok?"
"It's easy." Figwit groaned, as Uneanor started to cry. "Eeasssyy."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana snuck out late that night, and walked to Isilme-wilwarin's grave. The moonlight caused little flecks to dance on the grave, and Ana curled up next to it, and started to cry. She fell asleep there, next to her little girl's grave.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Boromir gripped Lori's hand tightly as they walked slowly up the hill, with Elrond watching from the bottem. As usual, suddanly the weather changed, and birds sung different songs...exept...
"Where are we?" Lori looked around at the gumtrees, and looked back. A path, a backyard, a little house.
"I was hoping you'd know." Boromir touched the ashfelt road, and jumped back as a car raced by. "What was that!"
"A car Boromir." Lori scratched her head. "I can't belive it..."
Boromir gripped his sword. "Cars are rare?"
"No. I think...this is Australia! What the hell..."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Moments after Lori & Bormior arivved in Australia, they heard some rather familor noises from behind. They looked behind them, and saw the forset from Middle Earth shimmering fainly, against the gumtrees and shrubs. Ana, Figwit, and baby came up the hill, and Middle Earth vanished.
"Lori?"
"Ana?" Lori shrieked, and hugged her tighly, trying not to squash the boy.
"Tis good to see you again, Boromir." Figwit clapped him on the back. "I will not have to face the perils of this world alone."
Another car rushed past, and Figwit jumped.
"Apparently it is called a 'car'" Boromir smiled. "Acording to my lady, it tis nothing to fear."
"I see..." Figwit eyed the black car as it vanished behind cows. "I know those beasts. Cows."
"Yes..." Ana nodded. "Cows. Right. Lori, what are you doing here?"
Lori shook her head. "No idea. I walked up the hill, and boo! Australia."
Ana sighed. "Another great mystery to be solved. But we don't have much time. You guys want to come? Figwit and I are going to devolp photos I took of the babies."
"Sure." Lori shrugged. "Maybe I'll go back with you to have a talk with Elrond."
Ana took Figwit's hand, and led them down the path, to her little home. Figwit smiled as he saw horses eying them.
"This world is not so strange after all..."Figwit muttered and jumped as a blue tounged lizerd ran under the little house.
"Speak for yourself..." Boromir's hand again went to his sword (the other sword, you dirty minded auther/reader) as he stared at a kangaroo in a paddioc lazing in the sunshine, a joey poking out of it's belly.
"What are those strange beasts?" Figwit paused, as the kangaroo got up, watching them.
"Kangaroos. If you get too close, they kick. Their kicks can kill, so don't feed them, or anything." Ana opened the door, and made them sit. "Figwit, Boromir, do not touch anything! Got me?"
She went into her room, with Lori. Smiling, she lay the baby down on her made bed.
The phone started ringing, and Ana rushed to get it. She found Boromir, and Figwit standing over it sword and bow raised at it.
"Relax. It's a phone." Ana picked it up. "Hello? Hi mom...yes I'm fine...and Antonia...shes gone to a friends...she was going to tell you, but the bus was leaving...i was about to call you..." Suddanly Ana gasped. "Hold on mom..."
"What is it?"
"What the hell am I going to tell her about Uuneaor? And the missing arm?"
"Tell her the full truth." Lori called.
"Do you think it will work?" Ana called back.
"Photos. Elf in your home." Lori called from Ana's room.
Ana nodded weakly, and picked up the phone. "Mom? Is dad around?....damm....I want you to meet the baby's father....mum! dont say that...mum!...." She hung up, and sighed. "She's on her way with dad. Be scared Figwit. Be very scared."
Figwit went pale. "Your father?"
"Yes."
Figwit pulled off his pack, and pulled out a velvet bag. "Then I better give this to you."
"What is it?" Ana opened it, and gasped in delight. A little, gold dimaond ring! "Oh! Oh!"
Figwit laughed as she attached herself to him.
Lori came in, and drooled over the ring, while Uuneaor slept in the room.
A hard knock came from the door, and Ana froze.
"Here we go..." Ana forced Figwit, Lori and Boromir to sit on the couch.
She let in the parents.
Ana's mom sat down on the armchair, and her dad sat on the other one. They were glaring at Boromir and Figwit.
Ana sat down, and started to explain.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Ana's father shot a 'You touched my baby girl' look to Figwit, as Ana and her mother cooed at Unneaor. "I hope you can provide for Ana."
"I can, sir." Figwit looked uncomfatble. "I am a lord in my land, and we now own a few homes..."
"A lord!" Ana's mother exclaimed. "Wonderfull. Anthony, leave our poor son-in-law alone. He will look after Ana fine."
Anthony just glared at Figwit. "If he takes such good care of her, then why was he not there to stop the stabbing? It's bad enough you got her pregneat, and were forced to marry her."
"Dad!"
"No Ana. I don't want you leaving home, and playing house." Anthoy glared at Figwit with more intesnaty. "You are a little girl, and there is no way I'm going to let you run around the country side with a baby and a man with pointy ears."
"Dad!" Ana went red. "Firstly, he is an elf. E L F. And concidering I've been 'playing house' for over a year now, I'm pretty sure I can handle it."
"Anthony, I think she can handle it." Ana's mom looked up from Uuneaor. "Ana, dear, would you like us to takt the photos to be devolped?"
"Yes please...but I would like to see them first, with Figwit." Ana smiled at her mom.
"You!" Anthony snapped, and Figwit jumped. "Porno shots! Your a pimp! I knew it! My poor baby girl..."
"No, dad! I just want to be with Figwit while we look at them." Ana made him sit, and gave her mother the films. "Its just that...my little girl...we want to be alone."
Ana's mother pushed Anthony outside, and winked reasurlinly at Ana and Figwit. "We'll be back in a hour or two."
Ana sighed, and flopped onto the couch, and rested her head on Figwit's lap. "Fathers. Who needs them?"
"Uuneaor does." Figwit smiled, as Uuneaor made a small smile, and pulled his long dark hair. "He seems to like my hair."
"Good, because I'll kill you if you cut it. Dad hated it." Ana grinned, as Figwit brushed her lips with his fingers. "I think it made him a little...uneasy. He was a hippy once."
"Hippy?"
"Nevermind."
"Owww!" Figwit pulled the little fist off his hair. "He dosnt seem to be bothered by one arm. Uses it very well."
Boromir and Lori emerged from the spare room. Lori's hair was messed, and Boromir, and Lori's lips were swollen.
"Is it safe?"
"No." Ana smiled. "Maybe we should leave first, and then you can use the kitchen table. But wash it afterwoods..."
"Ana!" Lori threw a piece of paper at her, and Boromir wrapped his arms around Lori's waist.
"Sorrryyy..."
~~~~*~~~*~~~~
Boromir grinned as the lights went out. He snuck to Lori, and wrapped his arms around her, as they started a movie.
"Milady, I do belive you have wronged me." He whispered, and little shivers went down her.
"How so, Boro?" She turned her head towards him.
Boromir laughed softly, and licked up her neck, to her ear. "I'm not sure."
His hands pulled her to him, and held her in his arms.
~~~~*~~~*~~~~