WARNING: Profanity; main character is very mouthy and vulgar.

So, it seems I died.

Pretty shitty, but not much you can do about it. It makes me wonder who was right about the afterlife as I've been an Atheist my whole life.

So far, I've just been in this empty void, being nothing more than just a disembodied thought, or something of the sort. I'm not sure and there isn't much point in speculating since I'm freaking dead.

I didn't leave much behind, honestly. Sure, I have parents and a whole bunch of siblings, but we've never been a very affectionate or close family, so I don't really feel much about leaving them behind. Death is a part of life and there's no point in avoiding it or fretting over it. Ya just breathe that shit in and breathe it out, ya know.

I'm trying to recall exactly how I died but I can't quite remember it very well. Probably wasn't that special then. Maybe I got hit by a car or struck by lightning, who knows honestly? Not me that's for sure. Though I am bummed out about a few things.

For starters, I am now unable to attend Comic Con, which sucks because I've never been able to go, and my broke ass was finally able to save up the money to go this time.

Secondly, I was unable to finish re-reading several manga's that I've been dying to read all over again. Naruto, -a classic, of course- Full Metal Alchemist, Kiss Him Not Me, and my all time favorite, Kekkaishi.

Seriously, one of the most underrated and underappreciated series of all time. I can't even begin to understand why, the manga is so freaking good, and yet the fanart? Barely. The fanfictions? You'd be lucky to read anything that won't make you sob in sorrow. My all-time favorite character, who only appears in the manga, barely gets any love. Truly I wish I had any talent to draw him and write about him, but alas, I do not have the skills to do so.

Anyways, I'm veering off track completely. The last thing I'm upset about, is that I died a freaking virgin. Now that may not seem like a big deal, but my inner thot, the hoe in us that we all have, was very displeased. I was always very socially awkward, and I went my whole life not knowing I had an awful resting bitch face, and it was one of the main reasons why no one at school would approach me. Reasonable, because who the hell wants to be death-glared the entire time.

I died as an 18-year-old virgin, and if in some way reincarnation is real, I am most definitely determined to get me some dick. Don't mean to sound blunt and weird, but you would feel the same way if you died without ever getting any.

Reincarnation? Is that what you desire?

"OH SHIT!" I squeaked out, looking around my surroundings, trying to find the source of the oddly androgynous sounding voice. "Uhhh, I mean, sure that would be neat, I guess?" when I determined that no one else was around my vicinity, I figured some cosmic being was speaking to me, because why not? Shits already weird, why not make it even weirder.

Then it shall be granted. I always give those who racked up mediocre karma points a chance at a second life, if they so desired it.

Wait, did the equivalent of God just tell me my life was mediocre? I mean, he's not wrong, honestly. I was neither very good nor very bad when I was alive. Choosing to instead be content with isolation and not involving myself in any troublesome affairs.

"Uh, thanks. I, uh, appreciate the second chance. I'll try to make this next life more exciting." If I could sigh, I most definitely would.

I will choose the world you will be put in, unfortunately you cannot be reborn in your previous world, but worry not, the world I will choose for you will be most exciting for you.

Oh well, that doesn't sound ominous or anything.

"That's fine, you're the boss, not like I got much say in it and I'm chill about it." No point in arguing or throwing a fuss. I never was one freak out about things too much, I was always a very chill person and mostly just rolled with whatever was thrown my way.

Though I will allow you to choose who you want to be. The world you will be thrown in, is a very dangerous one and thus you will need an equally strong character to survive this world.

Character? That's a weird way to phrase it. Unless I'm going to be reborn into some anime, which I guess would make sense. Alternative universes, and what not seems plausible at this point.

But who would I want to be? Don't even know exactly what universe I'm going to be thrown in, but if it's somewhere dangerous, then hell I wouldn't mind being my favorite character of all time. His ability was awesome despite being a human, and ooooh it would be so cool to also have the abilities of Gen, and Yoshimori. Wow, so many options, wish I could just choose all their abilities, honestly.

Then it is decided.

"Huh? What's decided?"

You will be reborn as Souji Hiura, with not only his own unique abilities, but also of the abilities of Gen Shishio and Yoshimori Sumimura.

"WAIT, wait, wait, I'm going to be BORN as him? But I'm a chick! And all that sounds weirdly broken!"

The world I choose for you to be born in, is officially known as World X325. Though you know it as the world of Naruto.

"Oh shit, oh no, anywhere but there! I will literally freaking die there, that place is a disaster, I'm surprised it hasn't collapsed in on itself! Oh wait, it almost has on multiple occasions!" I was freaking the fuck out. The world of Naruto? That place is a literal nightmare. Maybe I'll die from SIDS and come back into the void. Fingers crossed.

With that final thought, the void became enveloped in a bright white light and I was no longer conscious of my surroundings.

Let me know what you guys think. Been dying to write this story and I've only now found the balls to do so. I'm not the best writer, nor am I the best at details. So, it may seem sloppy and rushed, but I'll do my best to slow down. Reviews are appreciated. Try to guess the pairing.