27 years to the day ( July 1st ) after joining the United States of America, Canada leaves Alfred's house.
One day he's sitting on the couch watching TV or something and the next he simply is not. Alfred is not concerned. He's been trying to get Canada out of the house for what seems like years. He's glad to have him out doing things. It will be good for him.
He turns off the TV and puts away the blanket on the couch. Then goes to work.
Alfred isn't bothered by it at all, doesn't give it a second thought. But it is strange that he remembers the date. ( July 1st. Was that an important date? )
The first few days are the hardest.
On the morning of the first, Matthew is asleep on the couch when Alfred takes the blanket off of him, and shuts off the TV. He doesn't say a word to Matthew, just mumbles a bit as he prepares a small breakfast and then heads out of the house.
Matthew gripes and groans at him, but gets no response. It doesn't worry him; Alfred is busy these days. He has the 4th to deal with. Its always been a big shindig for him and is a perfect time to have important dignitaries offering him deals.
Matthew doesn't have a birthday any more, but he still hopes that Alfred will remember.
He is disappointed.
Matthew meets Alfred at the door when he gets home (because this house is a prison, and he loves visitors, even if it is just Alfred). He's happy to see that Alfred has a cake in his hands, and a new game. It isn't a game that Matthew wants (its one that Alfred has been pining over for a while ) but that's alright. Matthew isn't picky these days.
Alfred offers him no greeting.
He sets down the items he brought home ( There's also maple syrup, but its the cheap overly sweet kind that Alfred likes. It certainly isn't up to Matthews standards. ) and frowns. Matthew teases him a bit ( You'll look old if you keep frowning like that. ) but it doesn't get a response at all. ( Stop pouting, you aren't five you know. I'm not England, that doesn't work on me. )
Alfred ambles out of the kitchen, and into the living room. He shuts off the TV and looks at it inquisitively before shrugging and going back to his room.
Matthew, is annoyed. Alfred ignores him a lot but usually not like this. And on his (not) birthday no less!
When Alfred comes out of his room, he's dressed more casually. His suit has been exchanged for the familiar bomber jacket and a pair of jeans.
Matthew is on the sofa again. He's sort of sulking, but he's watching some soap opera that he likes to make fun of when Alfred can afford him the time. It makes him feel witty, and he likes it when Alfred laughs with him. It isn't as much fun when he just tells himself how stupid it is. His own laughter isn't as good when Alfred isn't laughing with him.
He's hoping Alfred will take the hint.
Instead, Alfred comes back in and shuts off the TV again. He gives it a long look, before he moves behind the set and unplugs it.
He mumbles some more and heads back to the kitchen. Now Matthew is really upset. He jumps up and follows Alfred into the kitchen, his temper raising by the minute. ( I was watching that! What's your problem today? I thought you enjoyed it too... )
Alfred ignores it all. He pulls a sheet of paper from the pad on the fridge and scrawls a note.
At this point Matthew is pissed off, and if getting in Alfred's face is the only way to get him to see sense Matthew isn't afraid to do that.
Matthew reaches (Look at me damnit! If you don't like that show just tell me! Why are you making this such a big de-) and goes through Alfred's shoulder.
He stops, flexes his fingers.
Alfred finishes his note, looks at it for a moment and turns to go. It only takes a few seconds before Matthew is frantically trailing behind him (Al! Alfred! Look at me! Please...just...) and follows out the door. Alfred hops into his truck, drives away, and Matthew looks lost in the drive way.
Is he dead? What is going on? He doesn't know. Doesn't know at all.
He stumbles back to the house dazed. He opens the door, closes it behind him, crumbles on the couch.
Eventually, he wanders into the kitchen.
The note is for him.
(Mattie,
If you stop by have some cake.
I thought it looked good. Hope you like it.
Don't eat all of it, Arthur comes in today.
Al)
Hope flourishes and dies.
(He eats all of the cake, and all five of the ice cream cartons Alfred keeps in the house. (For emergency purposes, Alfred says) He also plugs in the TV again so he can watch those horrible soaps, and tell himself how horrible they are. They're fun to laugh at.)
(He doesn't cry. There will be time for that later.)
Alfred picks Arthur up at the airport, and they chat in his truck as Alfred peals out into the street.
( Why did you get a truck with a back seat again? You never use it. )
( I don't know, thought it would be good if lots of people could be in it at once. )
( Wishful thinking perhaps? Or are you hiding some new nations away from the world? You'd tell me about something like that, wouldn't you?)
( Don't worry, I haven't made you a grandfather yet. )
Its nice. Arthur gets his mind off of what ever has been bugging him all day.
( Mattie will be at my party. I know you worry about him, he'll be happy to see you. )
( Who? Honestly Alfred. You call me old, but you're the one with memory issues. )
By the time Alfred brings Arthur home, Matthew is just coming out of his anger stage. The house is a mess. Matthew ruined it, because Alfred deserves it.
( Wow Artie, I don't know what happened here! I left it pretty clean... )
( Right America. It just happened to be dirty when I arrived. Well, go start dinner, I'll clean it for you. Lazy git. )
Matthew yells then. He yells and screams and tries to claw at both of them. (Mostly Alfred, because Arthur has always forgotten him.)
It's a waste. Every time he touches them, he passes right through them, and his voice never reaches.
Tired and hopeless, Matthew retreats to his bedroom. He collapses on the bed and sleeps like the dead.
Mattie doesn't come to his birthday party. Not a note or a message on his cell phone. Nothing. It doesn't really phase Alfred, he's got company over for the days leading up to, and after his birthday.
He'd be lying if he said he really misses Mattie.
He'll wander back some time after the 4th. Alfred is sure of it.
The lead up to the fourth is miserable.
( You might have a poltergeist, Alfred. There's nothing else I can see messing with your things. )
( A ghost!? Stop saying things like that old man! Not everyone believes in that crap! )
Francis arrives on the 3rd, and he sleeps in Matthew's bed room. Alfred has no remorse when he gives it up. Not a second thought.
Francis can't see him either. Matthew cries and begs Francis, ( Just look at me. Remember when you used to tell me bed time stories? I still remember them. Please remember. Once upon a time there was a Prince. It started like that, remember? ) but there is no response.
Francis doesn't even ask after him.
( Didn't you have someone else living in this monstrosity of a house? )
( Hey! I really like my house! )
( I mean...never mind. I fear I'm getting old. )
But the fourth is worse.
There are so many people in Alfred's house all at once, and not a single one notices him. His fingers and arms and legs sail through them, but he can never reach.
( Arthur thinks I've got a ghost or something. If anything strange happens, just let me know. It isn't a biggie. )
On the fifth, Matthew is done.
He doesn't have much these days, ( a hockey puck, (Its the one Alfred gave him. He doesn't remember when that was. Matthew almost leaves it) a pressed red maple leaf, the hoodie he always wears, his old snow shoes ) but he packs it all and leaves. There is nothing and no one here for him.
( Matthew takes the remote. He used it more than Alfred these past years, and making Alfred buy a new one seems like an accomplishment. Even if it isn't. )
-
On the 6th, Alfred carts Francis to the air port.
( I've been meaning to ask, are you trying a new accent or something? Minorities getting to you? )
( Non. I have always been French, Alfred. )
( I mean, in French. It sounds funny. )
( You've always thought French sounds funny, Alfred. You inherited Angleterre's ear I'm afraid. Not a romantic bone in your body. )
When he's off Alfred goes back home and Kiku already has dinner prepared for the three of them. ( Alfred, Kiku, and Arthur )
Matthew walks for a long time. He doesn't know where he's going, but he walks none the less.
( Theres no where and no one for him, he finds. )
He hears the crying and follows it. ( Why not, there's no real reason to do, or not to do, anything these days. )
It leads him to a wall, and a gate.
( He doesn't think he's dead, he can't walk through walls yet. Matthew bets that's coming though. )
( Is someone there? )
( That depends who a someone is. )
The gate opens, and a beautiful thing smiles at him through her tears.
( I think you're someone. )
He's home.
At first, it doesn't bother him to much. Something itches beneath his skin ( his flesh or his ribs or his lungs or his heart ) but he can't reach it. So Alfred ignores it.
He's good at ignoring things. Shoving them aside till he doesn't even think about them. So, this doesn't bug him at first.
It takes a while.
His new home is called Triste, and the girl at the gate assures him that he is not dead.
( You've been forgotten. But this is were you belong, where all of us belong. We don't have anything else. )
Its a nice enough place, with strange people here and there.
( There's the man in the small house. The door is always locked, and the windows are barred shut, so Matthew has never seen the man in the small house, but he is there.
He talks about fulfillment, and the mountains he misses.
The man in the small, boarded up house has a nice soothing voice, and Matthew likes him a lot. )
They dot the streets, one day there and one day gone.
(There are the quadruplets. Or, at least the boy claims there are three more just like him. He says he has two sisters and one brother, but that he is the oldest.
The quadrulet is a loud one, one of the loudest in town. He yells about his name a lot, and plays pranks on people so that they'll look at him.
Matthew ignores him mostly, and is surprised that he doesn't feel a thing when the boy cries. )
They run the place, as if it was any other city.
( The one that runs the tavern is loud as well. Matthew gets along with him.
They talk about walls, but Matthew seems to think they're never talking about the same thing. )
And it is like a home.
( The shop keeper looks a little familiar at first.
He's nice though. Gives Matthew a complimentary panda stuffed animal sometimes when he buys his groceries.
He makes them by hand for special customers.
Matthew likes being special, so he's happy when he gets one and sad when he does not. )
There are people he gets to know.
( The one that gardens. He has a patch of land, and he grows white poppies and bright red fruit.
He's out there every day tending to it, mumbling things to himself that are lewd and derogatory.
His flowers are the prettiest Matthew has ever seen, and his fruit always the sweetest. )
And people he never says a single word to.
( The girl on the wicker chair is very cute. She makes little triangle shaped sandwiches everyday.
Always to many.
Sometimes, she wordlessly gives Matthew some. They never really speak, and Matthew never hears a single sound from her, not even the ghost of a laugh when he does something strange.
She just smiles, and bats those green eyes at him. )
Matthew feels at peace here, as much as he can be.
( The music man actually only plays music on Sundays. The rest of the week, he paints, or draws or bakes or writes with a pretty feathered quill. He makes marvelous sweets and cakes that the shop keeper sells for very high prices.
He's very cultured, and stuck up. Matthew never speaks with him, but every Sunday he sits on the music man's porch with a lot of other Triste residents, and listens to him play.
Its never the same piece. )
Its a nice place, this Triste made for forgotten things.
( The dark haired boy is perhaps his least favorite. He is a little violent at times. He makes a lot of noise. And when someone goes to quiet him, he growls and snarls.
When he is beat ( and he some times get quite a beating ) he slinks to the shop keepers side, and is passive once more. He is erratic at best. Matthew stays away from him. )
Some days Matthew still cries.
He remembers Alfred, and cradles the remote.
He remembers Francis, and Arthur and the stories they used to tell.
Matthew tries not to think about it. That life has passed him by. But its still hard.
Those people have helped to make him who he is, and he doesn't want to forget.
Even if its painful, he doesn't want to forget yet.
June rolls around again.
It occurs to Alfred that the itch under his skin has been there for almost a year.
He thinks its an interest group stirring up trouble. ( What was it called again? The BEC? He doesn't even remember what that stands for these days. ) When ever they're highlighted on the news (it only happened once, but Alfred still remembers it) that itch swells.
Alfred can't scratch it, and he can't ignore it anymore. He's curious. Alfred wants to know what it is, but he's never been good at remembering things.
Things in Triste don't change much, and the faces are always familiar in an unrecognizable way.
( The play boy often can be found by the girl in the wicker chair. She gives him her triangle sandwiches, and he tells her she's beautiful.
She doesn't answer him either. )
Days are long and short and filled with trivial things that Matthew never remembers. ( But he does have a schedule that he keeps to almost religiously. )
Things never change, and Matthew doesn't really have a problem with that.
( The one that fixes things lives with his younger brother, though the two look nothing alike.
Matthew has nothing that needs fixing, or at least nothing that can be fixed. They never really meet. )
Kiku calls on the 8th of June. He wants to know which day he should be there for Alfred's birthday. He happens to ask Alfred how his brother is doing.
Alfred laughs.
( My Sister is fine. Mexico is feeling much better these days! )
Kiku stutters, and Alfred can see the fluster on his face.
( Ah, I apologize America-san. You'll have to forgive this old man, my memory isn't what it used to be... )
That night, Alfred can't sleep.
He thinks about Kiku's comment, and wanders into the living room. Perhaps he can find something on the TV that will put him to sleep.
He grabs a quilt and curls up on the couch. He reaches for the remote and starts flipping through the channels.
Alfred somehow lands on a soap opera of some sort. Its somewhat familiar, but that has more to do with how predictable it is than him ever seeing it before.
For some reason he settles on that instead of sports. Its bad, really bad, but its good for a laugh.
He finds himself telling someone how horrible it really is. Alfred is upset when no one answers him. It makes no sense, and he changes the channel.
It happens to fall on a hockey match somewhere in Russia.
Somehow that upsets him more, and he clicks the damn thing off. He glares at the TV for a while, before placing the remote down.
(It feels so strange in his hand, did it always feel like that? )
He stays on the couch, and drifts off.
Alfred wakes a few hours later, and wants to scream.
He only thinks he wants to scream after he's done it. He does it again for good measure, but he doesn't know if he's angry or upset or sad. Its all sort of blended.
-
One day, something changes.
The other inhabitants of Triste start to look at him, and really look at him.
No one in Triste really looks at one another.
( Not even the play boy looks at the girls he tries to romance. He just sort of glances at them and tries to woo them. Its more about him than it is about them. )
But people are looking at Matthew for some reason. He stands out now, and people whisper about him.
It is strange.
First, Alfred calls Kiku back. He thanks him, and its the most sincere thank you he's ever given over a phone. It's Kiku, so he accepts the thanks and doesn't ask questions. He doesn't understand, but he doesn't pry either.
The next call is to Arthur, and that's when the yelling starts. It really isn't fair of him to accuse Arthur when he is also guilty, but Alfred doesn't know what else to do.
He's hoping that Arthur can help. But the yelling just makes Arthur unhappy with him, and they both slam down their phones without resolving a thing.
Alfred is unnerved.
Next is Francis. He asks and accuses. Unlike Arthur, Francis listens softly.
They both hang up about an hour later and Alfred gets no sleep.
One day, the shop keeper tells him,
( You can't stay in Triste any longer. It would be best if you left. )
and Matthew wants to cry. He doesn't want to go back out there where people ignore him, where he doesn't exist to them.
There doesn't seem to be much choice in the matter. Most of the people in Triste ignore him now, they want him gone.
The one that doesn't is the man in the small house. When Matthew asks him what has changed, he laughs kindly.
( Your cycle is starting again. Most people think that life is just one path that keeps going forward, but its actually just a circle you know. We all get to where we started once more, you're just quicker than the rest of us. )
Matthew offers some kind words, and packs his things. He doesn't belong in Triste any more. He doesn't know why, and is afraid to find out.
The girl at the gate cries when he leaves, but she waves as the gate locks Matthew out.
Matthew arrives back at Alfred's house on July the 1st. He figures it will at least be a place to sleep, even if Alfred doesn't notice him. Matthew knows he's able to deal with the pain of it now, its just a numb sort of feeling these days anyway.
Alfred isn't home when he gets there, so Matthew turns on the TV and curls up on the couch. He isn't awake when Alfred arrives.
-
He's frantic, he doesn't know what to do but blame himself. Francis listens to his mutterings and denials and blame. He doesn't turn Alfred away a single time. Arthur is another matter. He denies,
( I've no idea what you're on about. Humor someone else with your delusions. )
until Francis stands beside Alfred.
( You are younger than I, Angleterre. Surely your memory is not so bad, non? )
When that happens Arthur is at a loss. With Alfred a raving mad man it is easy to discard him, he has had his moments in the past. France is significantly more sensible. ( You'll never catch Arthur admitting it, though it is quite true. )
Once he is wrong ( and it does take him a long while in Alfred's opinion to decide this ) Arthur goes forward without regard to anyone's feelings. He does the things that Alfred would if he was less distraught, and he spends the time away from home that Francis can not spend. Arthur has brothers at home that can fill in for him, France does not.
Alfred rides on Arthur's coat tails, he's better at handling things ( and worse ).
It's July first after days of following shadows that the two of them stumble back to Alfred's home exhausted. Arthur moves to the kitchen to set the kettle. Alfred is halted in the entrance way.
( It smells strange...)
( Thats what happens when you don't come back for a good while. Coffee? )
( That isn't it. )
( What isn't- Alfred? )
And there he is, like a spell. Just curled on the couch as if he'd never left. Alfred doesn't know what to do.
Arthur walks, and takes in the scene. He prepares his tea and leaves without a word, putting it in his thermos before he's off.
Alfred still doesn't know what to do, even with Arthur gone. There are a lot of things he could do, and more that he should, but he sits. He takes the other side of the couch and waits.
Matthew wakes and is not surprised to see Alfred.
He is surprised to see Alfred staring at him. Matthew blinks, and stairs back. That's all that happens for a long while, then something blossoms on Alfred's face.
What happens next isn't slow or gentile, but it somehow feels that way. Alfred reaches for him and pulls him into a hug.
The worlds suddenly has color again. Alfred's body is warm against his and his clothes are soft and his skin is a little sweaty. Its glorious. They both cling and cry and kiss and feel.
When Arthur gets back he states that Francis will be late, ( He got on the next flight to DC only moments after Arthur called. ) but that they'll celebrate when Francis gets there.
They have a cake waiting in the fridge, a cheescake waiting in the freezer, and a barrel of maple – the expensive stuff- flavored ice cream. Three gleaming, neatly wrapped presents wait on the kitchen table.
Francis gets in around 10:30, and its 11: 20 by the time they get back to Alfred's home. Its still enough time to sing happy birthday, and to stuff themselves full as Matthew opens his now five gleaming presents. ( Francis brought two more with him )
All in all, it is a very good birthday.