After The Events Of TNOTD

"but who is he" she asked looking at the back of a man she did not recognize, he was aged she could tell, and the way his shoulders seemed to be hunched told her that he carried guilt and regrets just like those the Doctor tried to keep a secret. All the secrets she now knew.
she questions him, her Doctor, again and could see the stress in his eyes. he tried to explain but she wasn't listening anymore. His secrets his past physical forms were now reining down on her. she was far past exhausted she had kept quiet unlike Doctor Simian when she entered the Doctors time stream, she knew if she had screamed out it would have destroyed him.

But the pain was there every shred of her being ripped into a million pieces through 900 years and now her head ached she was holding onto the Doctors shoulder to keep herself upright but almost every word the Doctor said triggered memories from different lives she had lived and soon enough she had to give in, her legs buckling beneath her as her breath came short laboring her fight to stay conscious. she could feel her skin tingling and under that she could feel the burning, it singed her every cell causing a pain she longed to be gone, the longer she stayed in the time stream the more memories gathered and conjured, she wanted to cry out to the Doctor to stop the pain to stop her remembering but she knew she couldn't this was one cry for help unlike all her others she did not want the Doctor to hear, she couldn't allow herself to be saved by him, she couldn't allow him to ask about all the experiences she had. could let him know that all at once in this very moment she could feel her bones breaking, she could feel her energy being stolen from the weeping angels, how the Daleks had managed to hide her for years in torture, starving her, testing her, and physically abusing her for information, she could feel herself burning from when the Doctor blew up a spacecraft or planet. she could feel it all and it was far too much to allow the Doctor to know she could feel it.

-Doctor-
"he is my secret" The Doctor said staring down the old man before him
"what i did, i did without choice."
"i know"
" in the name of peace and sanity" the old man said turning to face his young self.
"but not in the name of 'The Doctor'" The Doctor spoke evenly then turned away, he didn't want to see his future self nor think about what the future would be after the physical body he was now in ceased to exist. he had Clara to worry about, his Clara, his impossible girl.
she was growing more pale with each moment she remained in his time stream and her breath was short barely raising her chest barely making a sound. he had to get her out of here, out of him, who he was, and who he will be.

The Doctor stepped out of his time stream holding Clara tightly, Jenny Strax and Vastra ran to him as he laid Clara gently on the floor of the overgrown Tardis.
"Doctor whats happened? is Clara going to be alright" Vastra questioned coming to stand in front of him.
"we need to leave this place, its not safe" was all he said before hitting a few buttons and pulling a lever
"Doctor wut ya doen" it was Jenny who asked this time, lovely Jenny, who had died thrice and was now well again, he had to smile a little, he didn't know how Vastra would have survived without her wife, he must remind her later to thank Clara for that.
"I've just created a shield around my time stream and put the Tardis into lock down, we have just minutes to get out of here before we're trapped for good." he explained returning to Clara's side rubbing his hands down his face.
"Doctor are you alright? shall Strax carry her?" Vastra asked concerned for the Doctor, he himself looked pale and she could see him again growing week just like when they had first entered the console room.
"yes sir, let me take the boy" Strax said stepping forward
"girl Strax! she's a girl! and no don't touch her"
he said moving forward and gently picking Clara up, they followed the Doctor out of the Tardis and through the grave yard, only stopping for a few seconds to look back as the giant Tardis let out a groan as she locked herself down.
upon approaching the Tardis he had originally taken to Trenzalore he noticed how it had been waiting for them with its doors wide open a soft humm coming from within the console room. "didn't like seeing yourself old and decaying either i assume" he mumbled to the machine as she slammed her doors tight behind him.

-Clara-
she was falling, falling through a million life times, chasing the Doctor, saving the Doctor, giving advice to the Doctor, watching the Doctor and dying in place of the Doctor. each time hurt more than the last. she had seen his past companions his past lovers, had only glimpsed his granddaughter, had seen Gallifrey had watched it end, had seen the darkest moments in the Doctors history had seen his most vulnerable, had seen herself time after time begging for his attention and being ignored or unnoticed.

it was all soo much too much, the pain both physical and mentally scared her. she awoke slowly begging her eyes to open but they wouldn't. she got her hearing back first hearing the slow consistent beeps of something moving above her, then she could feel, she was on something soft, a bed and a pillow beneath her head, there was a soft sheet laying atop her and something covering her face. 'oh god im dead! im in a coffin!' was her first thought why else would anything be covering her face. she again tried to open her eyes willing them to see. then she was sitting up with a start "im not dead, im not dead!" she had yelled out with panic grabbing around her at anything and everything.
arms came around her quickly supporting her in her panic "Clara, Clara! shhh its okay your not dead, i promise" the bed dipped behind her and she could feel his chest against her back.
she brought her hand up to her face and threw off the oxygen mask with quite a bit of force before releasing shuddering sobs and streams of tears onto the Doctors shirt sleeve.
she had barely noticed Strax shutting off the little device responsible for making the beeping sound she had heard, she recognized it from a past life, almost like the Doctors sonic it took readings of life forms"
Jenny had pulled Vastra out of the room to provide privacy and the Doctor was cooing softly in her ear doing everything in his power to calm her.

-Doctor-
he had been speaking to a very concerned Vastra when he heard her shriek and within seconds he found himself holding her, running his hand through her tangled hair and kissing her forehead "your not dead, i promise" he whispered to her. he knew she'd wake eventually or at least had hoped but he had prayed to the gods that it would be nothing like this.
seeing her this way in such a panic, so confused and hurt and lost was heart braking even more so than thinking he had lost her altogether, and he only had himself to blame for it, he had lost her twice before and was selfish in thinking that he could claim her a third time and now that he had he could only feel guilty that what she went through was worse than death. a human wasn't capable of holding 900 years of information yet here she was, Clara Oswald the impossible girl, alive and now so broken.

The Doctor held her for most of the night as she fell in and out of sleep in and out of memories that weren't hers but were. finally at the crack of dawn, based on the suns of Panama, the Doctor untangled himself from the girl carefully she stirred, her hand tightening her grasp on the Doctors shirt, with ease he untangled her fingers and rest her arm at her side. kissing her forehead he reluctantly left the room and rushed down the corridor to the console room pulling levers like a mad man. there was a light thump as Vastra Jenny and Strax all entered the room, questioning his sanity.
"Doctor what are you doing?" Vastra asked walking further into the room
"the Tardis needs recharging and repair and you needed to be returned home" he said easily again moving around the console looking at screens and pressing buttons.

"but Doctor.. Clara..." Jenny spoke up this time but was cut off
"cl.. shes resting, she'll be fine" he hoped sounding almost unsure of himself. "Victorian London we've arrived to just inside your home, now before i leave i'd like for Strax to help me fix the old birds wiring if you don't mind" the Doctor continued keeping himself busy and avoiding all eye contact
"of course Doctor... but you need to rest also please stay for a while, allow yourself to unwind, let Clara relax and clean herself up before you leave" Vastra pleaded she could see the Doctors torment, he was tired and guilt ridden and for the first time almost seemed more lost in what to do than shes ever seen him.
"no we must go as soon as possible i have lots to do and we'll be fine on our own, wont be more than a day, i promise." he said before moving to the lower deck "Strax!" he called to the potato headed alien.
"yes sir" Strax was beside him now, for one who seemed to at most points have no filter he had been very quiet and quite helpful in paying medical attention to Clara and staying out-of-the-way.
"i need you to rewire the consoles barriers and gravity field, i was able to get her back here but she wasn't the only one beat up on our escapade" the Doctor spoke quietly looking at the mess he made of his precious blue box.
"yes sir" Strax replied with a salute and got to work pulling out chunks of broken metal and wires that had melted in the Tardis' fight to avoid Trenzalore.
"and Strax.. thank you for helping with Clara" the Doctor said quietly with a small smile.
"of course sir" Strax said turning to the Doctor and bowing to his master before getting back to work eagerly.