Past to remember
Author: Dutcher2000
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Or other things from 'Once and Again'.
Summary: Jessie and Katie were friends when they were younger. But Katie moved and they never spook again. Will they meet again?
I was just 8 years old when I first saw her. She was the daughter of my mom's friend. I immidiately thought she was a beautiful little girl. Long dirty blonde hair, slender and she had really nice gold-brown eyes. And she had a great laugh. But I was just a little girl. I didn't knew the meaning of important things. We spent a lot of time together, and became good friends. But the day came that she had to move. I was devastated. We promised to meet again, but we never did. Maybe because her mom and mine got a fight and never made up. I never saw the girl again. Now I'm a timid, withdrawn fifteen years old girl. I have friends, but they are different. They talk about stuff I don't get. They do stuff that Katie and I never did. And yes, we were just young children. We were innocent and didn't know a thing about what was going on in the world. But we talked. We communicated with each other on a special way that even I can't discribe. I think every day about her. I never had the fun that I had with her. I just want her to be here and hold me, like she did when I was 8. She knew more about pain than I knew. She just comforted me and told me that everything was gonna be allright. I still wait till the day that everything is allright. And for some reason, I just believe that it is someday.
I walk to school with my friend and his girlfriend. "So Walker just kicked you out of his class?" Felice says unbelieving. "Yes! I didn't even placed the spider on her desk! It was Johnny, I just know it." Tad growls. I role my eyes. "You are also someone who's able to do it, Tad." I grin. He pushes against my back. "So not true! I'm like the holy Jesus himself!" He says innocently. Gosh, Tad can be such a dork. I don't understand what Felice sees in him. Can't be anything good. Well, he is funny and stuff but só dumb.
x
Flashback
"You're such a dork, Katie!" I laugh at the girl as she jumps like a kangaroo.
"I'm a kangaroo! I'm a kangaroo! Grab me if you can, little monster!" She jumps around. I grab her at her waist and we fall on the grass. I laugh hard as I fall on top of Katie. She smiles underneath me.
"Maybe you're not a little monster, but an angel." She says quietly.
"Well, you're more a little puppy than a kangaroo." I compliment her back. She stands up and pulls me back on my feet. We just quietly stare at each other, like we do often.
"Come with me, angel! We have to rescue the cookies from the trash!" She screams excited. I follow her as she goes inside.
"Catch it!" I throw an cookie to her and she tries to catch it but she fails.
"Bad dog!" I laugh. She runs to me and hugs me. I don't know why she does it but I wrap my tiny arms around her.
"You're always my angel, Jess." She whispers. I just smile in her neck and whisper back.
"And you're my little puppy."
x
"No, just no." I scream angrily. "O come on, Jess. Do it for me. I always do things for you!" Tad begs. I frown. The last time he did something for me was when I needed an book and he bought it for me. THREE years ago! "I'm not gonna wait four hours for you just because you have a date and you can't get home on yourself. Forget it. I have a life too. Just ask Felice if she wants to take you home!" I complain. What does he expect from me? I'm not his slave! "She has to shop after the date. I can't ask her to skip that for me! She wouldn't do that." He says annoyed. "Shopping? She needs to SHOP? You know, if she doesn't want to skip that for you, you have to put some questionmarks on your relationship." I want to walk away but he grabs my arm. "Pleaaaaase, Jessiejess?" He asks sweetly. He knows that I can't take that. I sigh. "Okay, jurk. But only if you do something for me too."
"What?" He asks. "That math essay that has to be finished tomorrow… I didn't started yet." I wink. "O gosh… That took me two hours! That's childlabour!" He says pitifully. I smirk. "It's all or nothing, Tad." I laugh. "Okayyy, I do it. But only because it's necessary." He grumbled. "I wait here for you. Goodbye, grumpy one." I grin and sit down on a fallen tree. Then we see Felice in her car. She gets out of the car and smiles at us. "She is waiting for you." I say. Tad nods and walks to his girlfriend. "O god… I'm home at eleven! How can I ever make that math essay?" I hear him say worriedly. I just smirk and lie down. It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining and here I am. Do I really have to sit here till eleven? O gosh! I have to say it too my parents! They don't like it when I'm late at home! And especially if I'm back at eleven 'O clock! I take my mobile phone and press the number in from my mother's phone. Her mom takes the phone very fast. "Hey sweety, where are you?" I hear her ask. "Ehhm mom, I'm a little late today. I…" I've been cut of by my mom. "How late? I'm not in the mood to stay up late. And you have school tomorrow!" She is allready angry and I didn't even say a thing yet. I become red. "Ehh, eleven O' clock…" I begin. "No way, young lady! Are you out of your mind? Come home, NOW!" She is really not in the mood. Jeesh, mom is never so furious like this. "But mom, Tad is gone and I have to wait for him, otherwise he doesn't make my essay!" Oops, to much said. Now comes the speech, I feel it. "You let Tad make YOUR essay? That's not nice, Jess. If you don't make it yourself, you don't learn for it. It's your fault if you start with it to late. Get home before 9 and not a minute late!" And that was the speech… Mother has spoken. "Okay, mom. I'm home in about five minutes. See you." I say annoyed. I hang up and walk to my bike. "Sorry, Tad…" I breath out. I just cycle away. After five minutes I'm home. As I open the door I hear my mother scream on top of the staircase. "Jess, you are going to make your essay, right?" She asks innocently. I know I can't protest now. "Yes, mother." I say angelic. I hear my mother whistle now. She always does that when she is nervous. I wonder why she is. I take a piece of paper and begin with my essay.
x
"You just left yesterday. I had to walk!" Tad comes to walk next to me. "I'm sorry, Tad. My mom wanted me to come home." I apologise. He looks sad and tired and I feel sorry for him. Suddenly he smiles. I look questionly at him. "I get it yes. It's all forgiven. Did you know there is a new hot girl on school? She is like… Really hot! I say her walking trough the hallways yesterday." He looks thoughtfully with dreamy eyes. I poke him in his ribs. "You have a girlfriend, Tad! Do you wanna cheat on her or something? She can't be that hot." I look indignant at him. He shakes his head. "You haven't seen her, Jess. Even you can fall in love with her. She is for sure hotter than Felice." He says. I frown. How can he say that about his own girlfriend? He doesn't love her. Even I am taken back from that. How dares he? If someone does that to me, I would be furious. ''Okay wait, I will show her to you. If I see her." He looks around. He shakes his head disappointed. I laugh at him. He looks every week to other girls. This one is probably nothing more than an blonde haired, slender girl. But Tad is over the moon. I turn around and my throat becomes dry. There, in all her beauty, stands the girl I haven't seen in seven years. And she is even more beautiful than I remember.
x
Flashback
"Jess, why are you staring at me?" I hear a soft voice. I didn't even notice I stared at her. I clear my throat and blush.
"I'm sorry, Katie. You look very pretty today." I whisper ashamed.
"Come with me." Katie says, and she pulls me with her too the park. She stopt at a tree.
"Why are we here, Katie?" I ask curious as I was.
"I wanna show you something." She just says and she pulls me on the ground.
"Do you see these bruises in the tree?" She asks. I look at the tree and see some strange scrapes.
"Yea, I see it." I say.
"Every year, I put one scrape on this tree. But this time, I make two scrapes. Two after each other. Now we are friends forever." She makes two scrapes in the tree.
"I like it." I smile.
"I like you, angel." She grins.
"I like you too, little puppy." I hug her tightly.
x
Suddenly my voice is gone. What is she doing here? Did Tad notice her? "Ah, that's the girl where I was talking about." He says happily. "Katie…" Suddenly I can speak again. Tad looks questionly at me. "You already know her? Well, than you can introduce me to her." He happily takes my hand. I struggle and protest but it doesn't help. Before I know it, I stand before Katie. She looks a little taken back. I look shocked at her. "Well, introduce me to her, Jessie!" Tad says. I shake my head. "Hey!" Katie says. She looks confused. This can't be happening. She knows that I live here, right? Why didn't she stay away? This is painfull. "Katie." I say again. Katie frowns. It's like she doesn't know me anymore. Tad looks from me to Katie and scratches confused his head. I pull my arm out of Tad's hand and run away. As fast as I can. I need to get out of here. It doesn't matter that I'm skipping school anymore. "Jessie!" I hear Tad scream. I don't listen. When I turn left, I run into somebody. "Can't you watch out!" The girl yells. I stand up and mumble something that sounds like 'sorry'. "Sorry I just…I…" I don't know what to say. "You hide for someone. I know the feeling." She laughs. I smile back. "Yeah, but you don't know Katie." I say. Oops. Second time I said too much. "Okay, it's creepy if you mean Katie Singer." She chuckles. I turn red. "O god, it's her right." Her eyes go wide open. I nod. "Don't befriend that girl. She is a heartbreaker. She has charms. Just don't fall for it." She speaks fastly. I frown. What the heck did Katie do? She doesn't sound like the girl from seven years ago at all. I shake my head. "O god, is it already so bad?" she groans. I blush. I don't even know what I want from Katie, and this girl sounds like a sidekick. "I… I'm not in an relationship with her. Not that you have anything to do with that." I say softly. She frowns at me and gives me an sarcastic smile. She obviously doesn't believe me. Okay, where was I? O, right. I was running away. "I ehh, I have to go home." I say. She nods and says goodbye. I run, again, away. Where do I have to go? Suddenly I know it. Our tree. The place where I always cry if I'm sad. Before I know it, I'm in the park. Again, some memories hit me.
x
Flashback
I try to find her. I search behind every tree but she isn't there. Then I realize it: Katie is gone and she never comes back. I sit down against the tree and tears
fall out of my eyes. They fall on the branches of the tree. Then I see something written in the tree. Jessie, I come back. I smile. She comes back. I don't know
when, but I'll wait for her. I jump off the tree and with a breight smile, I walk back home.
x
It's still written in the tree. My eyes fill with tears. Maybe she came back for me. But she didn't say a word too me. Why? I sadly sigh. "You know, I don't even know why I'm here. I just walked this way and recognised you." I hear behind me. I turn around. Katie. "You're here!" I say happily. She looks confused at me. "Excuse me, but do I know you?" She asks softly. She doesn't know me anymore? What the heck? Tears fill my eyes. "I'm Jessie, your friend. Why do you act like you don't know me anymore? I know it's a while ago, but we are like soulmates." I say sadly. She looks apologizing at me. "Maybe I know you but I don't remember. I think it's because I had a hugh carcrash when I was little." She says. "What? And you don't remember things about your past life?" I ask concerned. She shrugs her shoulders. "I remember the important things. But I think that you were very important to me so I don't understand why I don't remember you." She says carefully. I grab her hand. She looks oddly to our linked hands. I'm disappointed. I thought she maybe remembered THIS, but she clearly doesn't. "Well… I have to go." I say sadly. I want to leave but she grabs my hand again. I look astonished at her. "Wait… Maybe if we do old stuff, I might remember things again." She says smiling. "Ehhm, yeah. Maybe." She really doesn't wanna know what we did in the past. She is changed. Maybe the girl is right and befriend Katie again is the wrong thing to do. But she looks so lost at me. I can't just send her away. "Well, okay. But you don't have to freak out." I say. "What's weird about friendly stuff?" She frowns. "Well… We did some weird things when we were kids. I don't even know why we did some things." I look shyly at the ground. "Let's do it. What do I have to do?" She grins. I shake my head. "This is gonna be crazy." I sigh.
x
Flashback
"What are we gonna do, Katie?" I ask a little worried. "You'll see." She smiles. She pulls me in something that looks like a cave. "It's dark here." I complain.
Suddenly there shines a little light in the darkness. "Not anymore." She says. "So… why are we here?" I ask. "I brought music. I want you to hear it on a special
place. I thought this was pretty special." She grins. Crazy Katie. She just took me with her to play some music. Katie press a couple buttons and suddenly the
cave isn't that scary anymore. "Who is the singer?" I like the music so I wanna know. "It's Billie Holliday. She is mysterious… She makes you guess." She smiles
thoughtful. "I really like her." I say smiling. "She always wears a white gardenia in her hair. That's why I have this." She pulls a gardenia out of her pocket and
puts it in my hair. "Now you're my Billie." My body shivers as the says that. No one ever made me feel whole, but Katie certainly does. I hug her and she holds
me. "You never have to be sad, Billie. My arms will protect you." She whispers. I just close my eyes.
x
"What's with the music?" Katie asks. I put Billie Holliday on. She frowns. I sigh. "I said this was gonna be weird. This was OUR music. We couldn't stop listening to it." I grab the gardenia, which I still have because I kept it dry, and show it to her. "And what's with the flower? I mean… I don't even know what kind it is." She looks confused again and I feel a bit helpless but I keep calm. "You gave it to me when I heard this music for the first time. I can't just throw it away." I look at the ground. I hear Katie sigh. "This must be hard for you. I feel stupid. Why can't my stupid brain just remember this?!" She cries frustrated. I pet her shoulder. "I think it's gonna work. We just have to keep going." I smile sweetly at her, but I feel lost. This isn't gonna work. I want my Katie back. "I'm gonna leave." She says carefully. She stands up and gives me a small hug. It's awkward and totally not like seven years ago. Then she walks away and says goodbye. I see compassion in her eyes. That hurts. I don't want her to feel sorry for me. It's just so damn confusing. With a small scream I land on my bed and bury my face in my pillow.
x
"So… What are we gonna do now?" Katie asks when we walk to school. "Just walk to school." I say slightly irritated. Katie stops walking. I turn around. "Come on, we're gonna be late." I roll my eyes. "Not like this. You snap at me the whole time today and I don't know why. I know it's hard for you but I can't help that I don't remember you, okay?" She says angrily. I turn red. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm just really sad about is." I say softly. Katie smiles and takes my hand. "Well, you're a sweet girl and I'm your friend again. Maybe it doesn't even mather that I don't remember the past." I look at her and nod. Altough I know that isn't the case. She HAS to remember the past. Too much things happened to simply forget about it. When we are in the school, I see Tad. He watches us with confused eyes. I can't blame him. The first day I run away from Katie, the next day I'm just walking too school with her. Tad's my friend. I didn't even call him to say I don't walk with him too school. I wave but he turns around. He's mad at me. Katie sees it. "You have to make up with him, you know. You two seem close. I don't wanna ruin that." She whispers. I nod sadly. "I talk to him after school." I sigh. The hours past by slowly. Katie doesn't say much because she doesn't know what to say too me. And again, I can't blame her. For her it's like she knows me for two days. I know her for YEARS! "You can go, you know." I say carefully. Katie turns her head fastly too me. I almost see relieve in her eyes. She nods. Then she hugs me again and walks away. I try to find Tad and soon I find him in the canteen. I tap on his shoulder. Tad turns around. "Hey…" I say timidly. He frowns and wants to turn around again but I grab his arm. "No. I want to explain." I beg him. He sighs and sits down in a chair. He pets on a chair beside him. I sit down. "I know Katie. I know her for a long, long time." Tad frowns again at this and wants to talk but I talk further. "She was my best friend when I was about aight. I ran away because she left me and I never heard of her again. Until now. I was scared, Tad. And I forgot to call you this morning. I'm sorry, okay? My brain is just totally shut down these days." Tad is quiet for a while but hugs me then. "I understand. You're such a dork, Jess. You had to tell me that! I thought I lost a friend!" He grins. "I'm sorry…" I start again. "No! Stop! Let's do something fun! I know a nice place where you can buy delicious icecream." Tad lifts me up and takes me on his back. I scream laughing. "Well, I really love icecream…" I laugh.
x