A/N: Hey there everybody! Well, this is just a short, humorous fic that is somewhat of a sequel to one of my previous stories, Doing It Right, particularly the second chapter. It's not actually necessary to read it, but it might help for some other jokes now and later on. But really, I'm not going to use that much. Well, the title is a parody of that show, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Well, it's Atobe's turn to give Sanada the tips for looking good. The title is even funnier when you know what happened in Doing It Right. Well, anyways, it's pretty straightforward so I'll just let you guys read. Please enjoy!
I don't own Prince of Tennis.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, Sanada, you ready for the nationals?"
Sanada glanced to his side. It was still odd to actually see Yukimura walking right beside him. He knew the tennis buchou was eager to play again. It was perfect now that he was recovered and could lead Rikkai to the victory in nationals.
"Of course. The team is complete now. But we still need to remain focused."
The tennis buchou chuckled at the response. Sanada was much more easier going around him. Instead of having the stiffness of a concrete wall, he had the flexibility of cardboard. Yukimura saw that as an improvement and quite flattering that he made Sanada comfortable enough to let him relax, at least relaxed as the fukubuchou was able.
"I doubt any of the regulars are going to lose focus."
"Hmph. I definitely have my doubts."
Yukimura looked at him questioningly.
"Oh? Why?"
"They get too side-tracked on outside things and it makes most of them lose focus…especially those who have short attention spans."
"It's okay to enjoy life once and a while you know. True, we have to continue practicing and all, but it doesn't hurt to be able to not think about it and relax."
Sanada huffed a little but other than that, he remained silent. Yukimura chuckled.
"What do you find so amusing?"
"I thought you had learned something from spending that time with Atobe. He certainly knows how to enjoy himself."
"Yeah, at my expense…And I thought I said I never wanted that mentioned ever again."
The other boy playfully poked Sanada in the arm and grinned.
"But he did such a great job! You were a lot of fun and I know you enjoyed it."
"Enjoyed? Party, yes, Atobe, no."
He briefly shuddered at the thought of spending another day getting advice from Atobe. He was a skillful tennis player, that much he knew just from watching him and playing doubles with him, but sometimes, the diva just scared him. He wondered where the all the information Atobe had came from.
"I don't know about that…"
Sanada about slammed into a locker door as he was too busy being shocked at what Yukimura had just dared to speak.
"No. No. No. I did not enjoy it."
"Then why didn't you get out of it?"
"You don't understand, the minute you give him a little rope, he has you chained to him for as long as he says."
Yukimura looked up and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"But Sanada-"
"No 'buts'."
"Sanada, I doubt you would have any trouble getting away from him. It's not like he could hold you by force. You're bigger than he is and most likely stronger as well. Atobe isn't that impressive in stature."
"You don't understand…That man…He has abilities beyond human comprehension…Besides, I bet if I did run he'd probably send yakuza after me or something…"
The other boy looked at him incredulously.
"Yakuza?"
Sanada looked straight ahead with his ever stoic expression. Yukimura continued to stare at Sanada questioningly, but he remained a statue. Sometimes, he wondered what went on in the fukubuchou's mind. One thing he did know for certain, Sanada had some kind of fear and dread of Atobe and it was freakishly amusing.
"Really, I agree with him on that one."
The two tennis stars turned to face the new speaker. It was none other than the joker of Rikkai, Niou Masaharu. He stood grinning mischievously at the two leaders of Rikkai.
"Think about it. Where does Atobe get all that money? Yeah, his father has a pretty high end job, but when you think about it…the stuff Atobe's got is more than that salary could afford."
"Perhaps the Atobe family is some sort of zaibatsu?"
Sanada sighed as another decided to join in on the conversation. At least, this one had manner and was much more polite.
"Yagyuu, you shouldn't encourage Sanada's weird fantasies."
Yukimura happily ignored the cold glare he was receiving from Sanada. It paid being in charge of all the players. He could harass them all he wanted and not have anybody to deal with. While he seemed like a gentle person, every member of the team knew how very un-gentle he could become.
"My apologies, but Niou does present a logical argument."
The stoic fukubuchou was about to close off this topic as it was seriously getting out of hand, however, he had no such luck. He was interrupted by Yanagi Renji, one of the demons of Rikkai.
"Statistically speaking, there is a 93.4 percent chance that Atobe is somehow connected with a zaibatsu and yakuza."
"Wait, what about yakuza?"
The only second-year on the team decided to show up just then. Sanada did everything in his power not to slap himself on the forehead. Yukimura stood beside him chuckling at his sudden lack of control over the other members.
"You're fault for bringing it up."
He received a less than pleasant glance from Sanada who roughly tugged the corner of his cap and began walking stiffly away.
"…Whatever…"
Sanada was about to give his hat another tug downwards but stopped midway.
"I can't believe that guy."
Instead of pulling the cap down, he withdrew his hand and forced himself to walk away with as much dignity as possible. Yukimura watched him depart down the hallway and sighed.
"Sanada needs to learn to have a little fun sometimes. He's getting a bit too stressed right now."
Renji stood beside Yukimura and joined him in watching Sanada disappear down another hallway.
"Perhaps it would be wise to find a way for him to relax? Is there anybody up for the job?"
The normally talkative people went silent and the others looked at everyone around them uncomfortably. Yagyuu adjusted his glasses and gave a small nod towards the data man.
"You and Yukimura-buchou are the ones closest to him. Perhaps it would be best if one of you were to do it?"
Everybody wholeheartedly agreed. Unfortunately, Renji shook his head as did Yukimura.
"I would love to, but at the moment, I am swamped with schoolwork since I missed so much school."
"In actuality, the success rate would drop if one of us were to do it."
Kirihara cast Renji a questioning look.
"Why's that? That doesn't seem to make much sense."
"Actually, it makes perfect sense."
All eyes turned towards Niou.
"At this point in time, Sanada seems to see us as members of a tennis team of which he is a part of. With us hanging around him, it would most likely seem like an extended tennis practice. So, he would then remain the uptight guy we all know, love and mostly fear."
"Precisely."
"So what should we do?"
"Well…"
Yukimurahad a beautifully sinister idea. He smiled cheerily as he indicated for the other members to come in close. After spending a few moments in their little huddle, they broke apart grinning.
"Won't he get mad at us?"
"Who cares? If he relaxes for a little bit, it's worth it…Besides, he may be the fukubuchou, but I am the buchou of this team."
It was things like these that the other regulars were glad and proud that Yukimura was their captain.
"Alright. I'll give him a call."
While at practice, everybody went about their business. It was neat and organized just how Sanada liked it. However, all was not well. The team's perfect concentration bothered him. Normally, he would be rejoicing at having his team staying focused, however, after the little conversation in the hallway, he was not so sure. Knowing how they all behaved, the practice would hardly of gotten anything accomplished besides running laps. Even Jackal and Marui, who were not present at the conversation, had a concentration that was odd for them as well.
"Is something the matter?"
He was knocked out of his conspiracy theories when Yukimura approached him. He remained motionless as ever, quite happy that his expression could never be read. He knew Yukimura would take full advantage of his worry and it would result in being swept away by the other members.
"No. Everybody is doing exactly what they should be."
Sanada said no more, though Yukimura could tell otherwise. However, they both decided that is was best to remain silent about it and not think too much about it.
"That's good."
Practice continued in much the same manner without any real incidents. After making sure everybody was out of the clubhouse, Sanada locked the door and made sure it was securely shut. After checking everything over one last time, Sanada began his walk home.
"Today went well…too well…I need to stop thinking about it. Perhaps this is going to be the way they always take practice?…Who am I kidding. That's never going to happen. Something is up…and I bet Yukimura is at the forefront of it all…"
He thought back to practice to see if he could remember anything else out of the ordinary. Try as he might, he could come up with nothing. The only thing that was unordinary was that practice was ordinary. Sanada was used to having at least one person not do as they're told or having somebody run.
"With no real activity, it seemed a bit boring…"Sanada froze in his place the minute he thought about it. He had actually thought that tennis practice was boring because everybody was concentrating exactly on what they should be. Did that indicate that he enjoyed it when they goofed off?
"The heavens forbid…"After contemplating the disturbing features of that thought, he soon found himself at the doorsteps of his home. He took a step back and looked over his house. It was somewhat large and built in a more traditional Japanese style. It was a dull brown accented by wood.
"My house is so boring…"Shaking off all his previous thoughts, he entered his house. Upon entering the house, slipped off his shoes and slid into his house slippers.
"I'm home."
"How was your day?"
"Fine."
"That's good."
Sanada nodded to his mother as he passed her by in the kitchen and headed for his room. Everyday was the same. Even the conversation with his mother never really altered from what he had just said. Everything seemed to have some kind of set place in life.
"It's growing monotonous…"He realized what he was thinking again and quickly shook if off. He set down his school belongings and headed for the bathroom. After taking a quick yet refreshing shower he studiously began working on his homework in an attempt to cease thinking about things altogether.
The following day, Sanada woke up the same time he did every other day and headed towards the kitchen. He greeted both his parents and sat down for breakfast. Today was a Saturday, so he was in no particular rush. Hi father was silently eating his breakfast when he looked across the table at his son.
"Are you doing anything today?"
"I was just going to stay around the dojo and practice."
Sanada's father gave him a nod of approval and went back to what he was doing. It seemed he could not keep a conversation going even with his parents. He knew that if he could, he would like to have longer conversations with his parents, but unfortunately, nobody in his family was particularly social beings. After finishing his breakfast he thanked his mother and changed into his training hakama.
He was going to start with his sword kata, but found that his mind was far too distracted with other things, most prevalent of which was the way everybody was acting the other day.
"This is not the proper way to train…I need to clear my mind…"And to do this, he thought of no better way than to meditate. Sanada found that he always could gather himself during a period of peaceful meditation. So, he kneeled on the floor settled down, and closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Sanada slowly exhaled. Doing nothing but thinking about breathing gradually drove all other thoughts from his mind and after a while, he began to gain a sense of peace and tranquility.
"Breathe in…Breathe out…Breathe in…"He was about to exhale when his breathe suddenly caught in his throat. He kept his eyes closed and again sought to balance out his thoughts by breathing. But over time, he found it gradually more difficult to do so.
"What is this…Something doesn't feel right…"Sanada debated with himself whether he should continue to attempt meditation or find out what was wrong. After a long debate, he finally decided to open his eyes. He was going to open them slowly, but the feeling grew worse and he could not control it. His eyes shot open and what he saw made all the air leave his lungs.
"W-what are you doing here!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Well there you have it. The first chapter. I probably shouldn't start another fic and should concnetrate solely on Smile For Me and a Samurai 7 fanfic, but this idea was rolling in my head for a while and just needed to come out. Oh well, I'm almost done with Smile For Me and plan on having it done before the semester ends which is in a few weeks. So, I will still diligently work on that. But aside from such things, what did you all think? Yes, this is humorous plus it is Sanada. Therfore, he might seem OOC, but I'm trying to keep him in character as much as I can...but I have to take some creative initiative since he has the personality of cardboard. Oh well, it's easier to write once Atobe gets thrown into the mix. It's easier to see Sanada's character and personality when he's around Atobe. At least from what I've seen in the anime and whatnot. Well, I hope you enjoyed!
Translation Notes: "Buchou" means captain, "Fukubuchou" vice-captain, "hakama" loose fitting robe used in many Japanese martial arts, especially in kendo (What you most commonly see particularly in anime), "kata" a set form or pattern that one follows to practice technique and build discipline (Any other questions, feel free to ask.)