Just a little Eurovision drabble based on a (sadistically) hilarious incident in the voting. No pairings, just Belarus being herself.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and Belarus' voting reasons is my interpretation for her character mixed with current political affairs in Europe because, lets face it, ITS ALL POLITICAL ANYWAY. Also in my headcanon nations represent their people moreso than their government. And this is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend anyone. If it offends you, pm me so I could apologize.
Five Points
Russia was nervous. It was not often that he came to his darling little sister's house (unsupervised, no less) but they needed to talk. Now. He didn't care that it was 2 in the morning.
"Good morning brother dear, how rare to have you in my living room," Belarus looked around with a rather smug smile, "By yourself." She fixed her eyes onto him. Russia just crossed his legs.
"Belarus, we need to talk." he began.
"About what?" she had a innocent tone, but she knew exactly what this was about. She was holding the evidence in her gloved hands. Russia just stared at it annoyed. Belarus suddenly looked down at it. "Oh! This is about the contest isn't it?" She laughed looking at the Eurovision DVD in her hands. She started petting it like a cat. Creepy. "Wonderful show wasn't it. Loved the effects. The results were VERY unexpected though." Her creepy smile widened. "I think this may just be my favorite year."
"Enough Belarus, I get it." Russia sighed. Why did his little sister have to be so scary. At least she wasn't trying to marry him now...actually she had been sending him death threats lately...those were very disturbing too. "You're upset with me. I get it. I-"
"Upset with you?" Fake confusion. "You're my dearest older brother who I will whip into shape one day when we're married, married, married. Why ever would I be upset with you?" As she said those last three words, her voice dropped an octave to its super creepy mode. Yep, she was upset.
Russia gulped. Don't let her intimidate you, don't let her intimidate you. She's your little sister, you love her, you care about her, and your militarily and economically superior. The self pep talk wasn't working. Oh why didn't he at least bring Ukraine along? or Lithuania?
"You usually gave me twelve points," he finally said in a strained voice.
"Oh?" More fake confusion. "I could sworn I gave my Rybak twelve points back in 09...By the way, he's still MY singer not yours." No. He was not going to get into that again. Let her think what she wants. Its not that important right now anyway.
"We all gave the Douze to him that year, that's besides the point. Why, dearest sister, did you give my singer only 5 points this year?"
For a moment, Belarus looked concerned and looked the other way. "How much did I give Sweden?"
"Four."
"So what's the problem?" Her tone was still playful but her eyes were kidding around anymore. "You wanted to do better than Sweden this year right? Well according to me and my judges, you did. End of discussion." She stared at the door. "You may go now." Russia was speechless. Was Belarus, who craved his attention every waking moment of every day, kicking him OUT?
"Belarus-"
"Leave."
"We need to talk."
"We talked already."
"We're not finished."
"Yes we are."
"Bela-"
"Goodbye Russia." Silence followed. Now he knew. She WAS mad. She never called him by name. She had pet names for him in all languages but she never used his country name. Oh boy.
"Why are you still here?" she demanded.
"Why didn't you give me twelve points?"
"You gave me only two last year. Your best buddy gave me twelve so I returned the favor this year. That's all." He was going to let the "best buddy" thing slide...to be fair his "best buddy" actually gave him some points this year...but Russia gave the "best buddy" more!
"You gave 10 to our sister. She gave you nothing last year."
"She gave me ten in our semi AND she had sand painting. You really can't compete with that." Touche.
"But then how do you explain the eight to Germany? And don't say it was because he hosted." Okay bringing up Germany was a mistake. A big one. Russia was experiencing a lot of firsts tonight with Belarus...he wasn't used to her demon expression being aimed at him.
"Oh I don't know. After all he's done for me, I thought it would be nice. And since this is coming, Moldova got 7 cause we're kindred spirits now, and Azeri's got six because I liked their song. Sweden got 4 since you have to be superior to him. Do I need to explain Italy, England and Denmark too?" Her voice kept getting louder. Russia somehow found himself cowering in a corner midway through her rant. She now towered over him. He shook his head.
"This is about your economy isn't it?" he finally asked. Did Belarus' eye twitch or was it just him. He really hoped it was just him.
"Dearest Brother, surely you're not actually suggesting that I would involve politics in a song contest?" Was the act really necessary? There wasn't a single one of them who didn't base their votes on politics. The reasons she gave for each country were proof enough.
"If you want, I could cause a scandal for you, say my votes were rigged or miscounted and get you the douze since you look like you're gonna loose sleep over it." she suggested caressing her DVD again. "I don't mind. Everyone seems to think I'm nuts anyway so they wont get too upset...Well Georgia might, but Georgia's a nice nation so it doesn't matter anyway."
"Would you really do that Bela?" Russia asked, feigning a smile but dreading her next words. There was always a catch.
"You'll just have to set a date," she said with an eager look, "Set the date for our marriage marriage marriage." Why did she always say marriage three times? "And don't say in a million years. I can't wait that long."
"No way."
"Che. Well then give me that loan you promised." Did she really think he was going to give her billions of rubles for a few measly points? He already lost the contest. 7 more points weren't going to do anything anymore. He would only beat France which wasn't much of an accomplishment. Better to let her down gently though. It was 2 in the morning and there was no way in hell that she wasn't armed.
"You know that I can't do that. My boss manages my finances. I can't change his mind." She should sympathize. It's not like she could get her boss to do anything.
She wasn't going to. "Then we're done. Leave." He wasn't moving. She sighed and cleared her thorat. In an eary voice, she chanted, "Lets get married, married, married, married..." This continued until Russia was reduced toa crying mess and out of habit, he shouted,
"GO HOME!"
"ITS MY HOUSE!" she yelled back. So he ran. He was Running Scared tonight.
-
Another year of Eurovision over. It was a good year, but different from usual...for one thing,
BELARUS GAVE RUSSIA ONLY FIVE POINTS!
I died laughing ^^ Seriously. Russia put a lot of hype into their artist but he finished 16th faaaar behind Sweden who he decided to compete with (aka: denounce) and the countries who usually give Russia twelve points (read: Belarus) didn't. The commentators for Channel 1 (the Russian ESC broadcaster) even commented that Belarus wasn't feeling politically positive today...it doesn't help that their economy collapsed this week (they're a bit above Moldova now) and Russia promised to give a loan to stabilize them but then said "No." Russia was kinda the reason for the collapse in the first place...
Everyone in Eurovision votes politically. Makes for a wonderful betting game ^^
I was a bit annoyed with Russia this year because of how they over hyped their egotistical artist, Alex Sparrow, got RedOne to write him a song and unofficially declared a song war on Eric Saade of Sweden because apparently Sparrow has copyrighted hip-hop dancing (Saade's moves were "copied" from Alex's video) Sparrow is, in nice terms, a bit of a jerk.
Russia's "best buddy" is, of course, Georgia. They don't like each other. At. All. (But relations between Georgia and the other former SSRs is great.)
Ukraine had a crappy song but they had SAND PAINTING. It was amazing...Any points Ukraine may have gotten are thanks to the Sand Painting. I'm sure of it.
The winner was Azerbaijan. They're song was "Running Scared" about a couple scared of their passion for each other...Belarus could probably interpret it in her own twisted way, which is why she likes the song ^^"
Douze=12 points. Thats the highest number of points a country can give in Eurovision.
