'STUDENT!'
Every face in the Great Hall fell in shock. Dumbledore stood up and clapped his hands merrily.
'It seems Mr Potter has been given the great honour of a Hogwarts student, the first in over four hundred years,' he announced. 'He will have access to all house dormitories, as well as a unique timetable for classes.'
Harry whipped the Sorting Hat from his head and joined the Gryffindor table with Hermione. Professor McGonagall, looking rather bemused, continued the sorting.
'How did you do it?' Ron whispered after he was sorted into Gryffindor.
'Well, I just asked it a simple question,' Harry explained. '"What would happen if you didn't sort me?" and the Hat said "Why, nothing at all."'
This earned a few merry chuckles from his fellow students.
In the following years, the tale of Harry Potter's sorting passed through Hogwarts like wildfire. Soon enough, the half- and purebloods spread the story so wide the House system became practically meaningless.
Years later, when set alight by Voldemort, the Hat burnt without complaint. It deposited the Sword of Gryffindor into Neville Longbottom's arms with it's true purpose fulfilled - to end senseless bigotry and rivalry within the walls of Hogwarts.