A/N: This is my first fanfic, so I'd appreciate any comments or criticisms, thanks.
She leaves the precinct blinking away tears. She's only been gone six weeks and Elliot has already replaced her. Her partner. For better or worse.
Yeah right, she thinks.
Seeing Elliot act so comfortable around that woman, touching her, rubbing her shoulders. They hadn't that amount of physical contact in the entire six years of their partnership.
Not that she cares.
Because she doesn't.
Why should she care if there is something going on between Elliot and his new partner?
She's the one who left.
The one who couldn't handle her developing feelings for the man she shouldn't be so attached too.
She continues walking to her apartment building through the cold Manhattan streets.
She's missed this. Getting lost in the crowds of people. The city lights.
The air in Oregon was refreshing, but after awhile, all of the greenery and nature became boring for her. She's always been a city girl.
When she reaches her building, she drudges up the stairs and reaches her apartment. 4D. She unlocks the door and takes in the sight before her.
It looks exactly the same as it did before she left. Comfortable, and a bit untidy, just the way she likes it.
She walks to her bedroom and studies herself in the mirror. These six weeks have changed her. Her dark brown hair now scattered with copper highlights, and her curves have filled out a bit. So much of her has changed these past few months, it's almost as if she doesn't recognize herself anymore. It'll take some getting used to, diving head first into her life.
She strips down and steps into her bathroom getting ready for a shower. The scalding water is therapeutic. It's almost as if the water is burning Persephone off of her skin.
After her shower, she makes herself some tea and pulls out her cell phone. She's had it re-activated and finds 25 new voicemails/text messages.
All of them from Elliot.
Her hand trembles a bit and she almost drops the cell phone.
Why would he leave so many messages?
She debates whether or not to listen to them, afraid of what she may hear.
Finally, she decides to listen to one of the voicemails.
"Olivia, I'm sorry if I did anything to upset you, I just.. I act so stupid sometimes and I just want you back. As my partner. And I just... I need to know you're alright, okay?"
Olivia deletes all of the remaining messages and sets the phone down.
How could she let him believe that HE drove her away for all this time?
She doesn't want to think about Elliot or this situation or work anymore so she changes her clothes and heads out, determined to get rid of some of the pain.
Elliot sits down at his desk and glances at Dani. Being with Dani has numbed the pain of Olivia's absence. He doesn't even know why it's affected him this much. Cops switch partners all the time.
But of course, with Olivia everything is different.
These six weeks have been the most emotionally draining of his life. He finally signed his divorce papers and he's even gone on a few dates. He also kissed with Dani. His new partner.
Sometimes he thinks about what would have happened if he signed his divorce papers while Olivia was still his partner.
But he tries to push those thoughts out of his mind.
"Hey Elliot, a woman dropped by today asking for you," Dani informed him.
"Really? What was her name?"
"Uh, she didn't leave one. But she did go in and talk to the Captain."
Elliot got up and walked to Cragen's office.
"Hey, Dani said somebody came here asking for me earlier, and she came to talk to you?"
"Oh, uh yes. Look. Olivia dropped by, but she asked me not to tell you."
"Why would she do that?"
"She just returned from her undercover stint with the FBI. She's not ready to come back yet. She needs time."
Elliot just stared and absorbed what Cragen had said.
"Look, why don't you and Dani head home for the day, it's pretty slow around here anyways."
With that, Elliot walked back to his desk and grabbed his jacket.
"Hey, Cap says we're done for the day, I'll see you tomorrow Dani," Elliot says before giving her a weak smile and walking out.
All he wants to do tonight is try and forget about Olivia. But at the same time he wants to see her and know she's alright.
She's been sitting in this booth for about half an hour now, nursing her now-warm beer, and she can't shake Elliot from her thoughts.
She tries telling herself its just all of the co-dependency that comes with being partners.
She puts her head on her folded arms and just thinks about how her life might've been if she never became a cop.
She might be married with children, living some fairy tale life.
But maybe she's just destined for loneliness.
Elliot walks into the bar scans the room, when he sees a brunette woman sitting at a booth in the back. Even with her newly grown hair and filled out curves he recognizes her.
Olivia.
He considers leaving since she obviously didn't want him to know that she's back in New York, but he figures that he deserves some answers, so he slowly makes his way over to the booth.
As he approaches, Olivia lifts up her head and see him. Her breath hitches and Elliot stops before her and says, "Hey"
"Hi"
"I uh- I heard you stopped by the precinct today.."
"Uh yeah, did Cragen tell you?
"Yeah- well no- Dani did first, and then I asked Cragen about it. But that's beside the point. Why didn't you call me? Why did you even leave?"
"Look, I' m sorry, but I just- I just got back and I really don't want to talk about this now. Can it wait a bit?"
Elliot gives in because honestly he's just so fucking glad to see her, and he's never been able to refuse her.
"Yeah. Sure. But we will need to talk later."
"Yeah. I know."
"Can I sit down?"
"Oh yeah, sure."
He slides into the booth across from her and studies her. She's fidgeting uncomfortably and keeping her eyes downward. She can't help but notice how good he looks with his new fitted T-Shirts and bulging muscles underneath.
"So, did you want something else to drink?" he asks her.
"Uh sure I'll take another beer thanks."
When their drinks arrive they take a sip right away, avoiding each other's eyes. Olivia sits there studying Elliot. She notices the circles under his eyes that have seemed to darken since she's been gone, she notices his new clothes, and then she lets her eyes scan over his hands. That's when she notices it.
His wedding ring is gone.
"So, you're not wearing your wedding ring?"
" Uh no, I uh- Kathy and I are divorced now."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, but, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, thanks but it was time. We both needed to move on. She deserves to be happy."
"Well, so do you Elliot," she says softly.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Well-" Olivia starts to slide out of the booth "-It's getting pretty late and if I stay here any longer I may fall asleep on you," she jokes.
"Oh yeah, okay, here, I'll walk you home"
The two of them head out the door down the street towards Olivia's apartment building.
"So, what was it like working undercover?"
She sighs, "It was.. Different. I was always worried about blowing my cover and being convincing enough and not screwing up the investigation. And Oregon is a lot different than New York. My handler was also a bit of an asshole."
The thought of her having another partner doesn't it well with Elliot, and Olivia can already see his jaw start to clench.
"It made me SVU, and you guys.." Olivia said as she bumped her shoulder slightly into his.
He smiled , "So when are you coming back?"
"Ah, well I don't think I'll be back for awhile, I mean I don't think it's really up to me anyways."
"What are you talking about? You're the who chose to leave."
They had just reached her apartment and Olivia turned to face him.
"Look, I'm not sure if I'm even ready to come back yet. I need to figure some things out first, and there isn't even a spot for me!"
"What do you mean? You're my partner!"
"Not anymore. Dani is." She whispered.
With that she turned towards the front door of the apartment building and blurted out, "Hey, Elliot, I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I've screwed our partnership and everything else up. Just give me a few days and we can talk okay? I just need everything to get back to normal."
Without waiting for a response, she unlocked the door and walked inside, and once again Elliot was left all alone.