Once Upon a Time
The downfall of the Marauders
Once upon a time, the name Marauders brought a smile to anyone who knew of them. It was synonymous with loyalty, trust and brotherhood. It would bring smiles and laughter and yes, a tad bit of jealousy from those who were not so fortunate as to have friends as incredible as James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were to each other.
But that was once upon a time.
That was (what felt like) another era, in a time where each of the four boys wore rose tinted glasses and though aware of the raging war, thought themselves invincible. And they may as well have been, as tight and protective as their friendship was: no one could get away with hurting one Marauder, without feeling the wrath of the rest.
It was book-worthy, really; a story filled with the breaking of boundaries, the fortunate and the unfortunate, the cursed and the blessed, the rich and the poor. The boys broke every rule society put upon them to be friends. This may seem, perhaps, a rather melodramatic statement to make. But James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black lived in a society brimming with prejudice; a society where being different quickly led to social stigma, where everything was split into black and white, right and wrong.
So who would have thought a Black and a Potter could be friends? Who would have thought a werewolf and a bumbling social outcast could become two of the most popular students of their year?
Once upon a time, James Potter, for all his young prejudiced hate for Slytherins, laughed with Sirius Black, despite knowing his background. A few short months later, both boys stood up to a third year Slytherin who had taunted Peter Pettigrew. It was only a little while after that, that the boys finally succeeded in making Remus Lupin roll on the floor with laughter.
The rest, you could say, is history.
It was these moments, you see, these small insignificant moments of laughter and trust that made the beginnings of a friendship. And there were a lot of these moments; take the numerous times the other boys' stood up for Peter Pettigrew, or the boys' acceptance of Remus Lupin's condition. Take the time they decided to become animagi and every sleepless night after spent in the library. Take James Potter opening his home to a runaway Sirius Black, and the boys encouraging James Potter to pursue the girl of his dreams and every single minute they spent listening to his whining...
There're hundreds and thousands of these small, some minute, occasions you could take which sealed their friendship, that made the Marauders, the Marauders; but life, despite its small magical moments, isn't a fairy tale and though James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin were as close as close can be, their future was not what they expected. They had predicted the war would be short-lived, they had predicted that they would be friends for life, that they would all find good, stable, enjoyable jobs- laughing every day and perhaps, getting drunk far too often. They had augured themselves lives filled with happiness and friendship and laughter. But the future that awaited them was far different than the life in their dreams.
The only things awaiting the Marauders' were death, prison, betrayal and loneliness.
oOo
Once upon a time, Sirius Black made a mistake- it wasn't his first and it most certainly wasn't his last but it was the second biggest mistake he would ever make.
On one wintery night in his fifth year, Sirius Black told his sworn enemy Severus Snape one of the Marauders most closely guarded secrets. That alone was a betrayal of trust but perhaps worse was the fact that had it not been for James Potter the night could have ended in death for his enemy and imprisonment for his friend. You may say, as many do, that this incident does not factor into the downfall of the Marauders at all. To which I may say you are right, the downfall of the Marauders does not lay with Sirius Black at all. No the downfall of the Marauders, just as the strength of their friendship, is based on a series of collective moments; small fragments that built up, tiny cracks that soon spread and spread and spread, until they all collapsed.
Once upon a time, Sirius Black made a mistake. The consequences of that mistake will perhaps never be fully understood. It gave Severus Snape, in years to come, one more reason to hate Harry Potter but the greater consequences were thus: it broke the trust of Remus Lupin, who despite learning to forgive his friend, could never forget and without forgetting could never fully trust Sirius Black. It allowed Peter Pettigrew to see the Marauders were not invincible and some could argue that had Peter never seen the fragility of their friendship, had he never seen what he was without a laughing James and Sirius and a reluctantly smiling Remus, things could have been different.
Perhaps on a lighter note or at least a more positive note, the incident allowed Lily Evans for the first time, to question her opinions of James Potter. And though the boy in question did not talk to Sirius Black for a matter of weeks after the incident, when they eventually "cleared the air" as people say, the two boys became closer than ever and James Potter' trust for his friend never wavered.
oOo
Once upon a time… Remus Lupin realised he would not find a job and found he could not look his friends in the eye… Peter Pettigrew realised it was a Friday and he had nowhere to be, no one to see…Sirius Black, after a close call, realised he could not live without his best friend, his brother' and vowed to protect... James Potter chose family over friends (though some could argue they were one and the same) and while Sirius Black still laughed and came over, Remus Lupin forgot to write and Peter Pettigrew found a stone in his heart.
These were small things, things part of growing up but sometimes small things can have a monumental effect.
You see, once upon a time, Peter Pettigrew stood in Saint Mungo's as Sirius Black stood by James Potters' bed side. Remus Lupin, bloodied and scarred was on the next bed over and Lily Evans, no Potter now, was pale faced and bruised on another. Peter Pettigrew watched them; their faces pale and scared…defeated…and realised with a sinking of the stomach that they really weren't invincible.
The next time they fought he was caught and when offered a chance of survival on a treacherous road laced with betrayal and cowardice he accepted.
oOo
Once upon a time, there was a war and during it many suffered (including the Marauders), the Order heard there was a traitor amongst them; James Potter failed to believe them, Remus Lupin tired and weary, dealt with his disbelief alone and Sirius Black became suspicious. Peter Pettigrew merely bit his tongue.
Sirius Blacks' suspicions were extended to everyone save his best friend and his wife, Peter Pettigrew and Dumbledore himself. There had been a time when Sirius Black would never have doubted Remus Lupin, but Remus attended meetings far too early (as though scared to be late) and left before anyone else. He never met Sirius's eyes or James' or Peters', he never wrote or stopped by and his answer to a boys' night out, would always be a solid no followed by some hurried excuse. His clothes were getting more ragged by the day, his expression tired and pained and Sirius knew in his gut that Remus was hiding something, so he treated his friend with the same suspicious nature as he treated everyone else.
(Had Sirius thought to ask Remus or had he thought to investigate he would have found that Remus Lupin was jobless, penniless and very close to being homeless. But he never asked and Remus Lupin never told. )
oOo
Once upon a time, Remus Lupin made the decision to live his life on his own terms. His friends had given up enough for him, done enough for him but they were no longer boys and he could no longer rely on them. With his life a mess, Remus Lupin gave a wry laugh and shook his head; he would not pity himself and he would not let himself be pitied. He considered, one day, as he walked with Sirius Black out of the Order headquarters, telling his friend of his troubles but when he saw the grey eyes he could not help but remember being fifteen and waking up to the truth that he had nearly taken a life.
Remus Lupin tried to forgive and he did (mostly) but he could not forget and without forgetting and without forgiving completely and whole heartedly he could not trust Sirius Black.
You may ask, and rightly so, why Remus Lupin did not share his problems with James Potter. Surely, if anything, James Potters' actions the night of the incident showed his loyalty and yes, it did. Remus would never cease being grateful for James actions that night but when he thought of James Potter, he saw marital bliss, he saw Lily and Harry and care free faces and he knew he could not burden them with his problems. James would not judge, he would be angry on his behalf, he would shout and swear and then proceed to do anything humanly possible to help him; he would buy him a house without a second thought, give him enough money to live comfortably for a year but that was exactly what Remus did not want.
Once upon a time, Remus Lupin realised that as much as he was thankful for his friendship, he could not rely on James Potter to be his guardian, ready to help, anymore.
oOo
Once upon a time, James Potter sat in his small house with his baby on his lap and a pile of photos in his hand. He looked at his friends and gave a sad smile; sign enough that things were changing, that they had changed, because before, before when he saw that picture he had laughed and smirked and told proudly to anyone who would listen the story behind just why they were covered in green gung or what had happened minutes after that picture, with them with their arms around each other, had been taken. Now however all that he felt looking at the moving figures was a sense of loss that chilled him to the bone and a strange sense of nostalgia that told him things would never be the same.
Once upon a time, James Potters' whole being told him the Marauders were crumbling around him but he chose not to believe it. He knew things were different, difficult. He knew Sirius was scared for him (he called once a day) and Peter was just generally scared shitless (he couldn't sit still) and Remus was going through some serious shit just not ready to tell him (he couldn't look him in the eye) but… it would be ok. He knew it, believed it. They were the Marauders for Merlins' sake, they would get through this, through everything and they would do it together. Sirius would stop being a paranoid worry wart, Peter would learn to actually laugh without looking like he wanted to cry and when he was ready Remus would come to them and they would help him, arms open. James Potter, perhaps naively but in true James Potter style, believed everything would turn out all right. The war would end and the Marauders would be fixed; they just needed to stick it through.
It was this absolute belief in the Marauders that made him say yes to changing secret keepers without a second thought. It was perfect. It was common knowledge to anyone who knew him that he trusted Sirius with his life. Choosing Peter was genius. Nobody would guess it and better yet, it would give Peter that boost of confidence, that at twenty-one, he still regularly needed.
Once upon a time, James Potter was told by his best friend not to trust Remus Lupin. He laughed when Sirius said it and then noticed Sirius was, in fact serious. He sighed and ran a hand through his black hair. There was a large part of him that wanted to scream in anger, to curse, to swear- to break any thing in his reach. The fifteen year old James Potter probably would have. Instead he told Sirius exactly what he thought; he trusted Remus, trusted him irrevocably but for his, Sirius' sake, he would agree to keep the swap quiet, he would not however stop writing to Remus.
He sighed again, it didn't matter; not really, the war would be over soon and Sirius would find that Remus was innocent. It was all a matter of time.
Just a matter of time.
oOo
Once upon a time, Sirius Black made a mistake. The biggest mistake of his life. The Black who always preferred having his fate in his own hands, chose to put the fate of the people he held dearest, in the hands of Peter Pettigrew. James hadn't taken a lot of persuading and Sirius had grinned; it was genius! No one would ever suspect little Peter Pettigrew held the key to finding the Potters.
oOo
Once upon a time Peter Pettigrew sat in his childhood bedroom shaking with nerves. On his bedside table, a picture of a fourteen year old Peter was smiling delightedly, his arm around a grinning James Potter. Peter Pettigrew closed his eyes. He remembered James at eleven, standing up for him, James at thirteen, telling him he could do it, he could become an animagus, James at sixteen, encouraging him to ask Mary Waters out on a date… He gulped loudly and rubbed his eyes roughly. He would not cry. He was doing the right thing. Only one side would win this war. If Sirius and James and Remus just stopped…just stopped being so…so prideful they would see, they would see they were going to lose. He was doing the right thing.
James Potters' laughing face flashed in his mind again.
Once upon a time, Peter Pettigrew turned over a picture of himself and James Potter. He breathed deeply and stood up. He was doing the right thing. No matter how bad it looked, he was doing the right thing. Shaking slightly, he reached for his wand, it was time to tell the Dark Lord a tale.
oOo
Once upon a time, Remus Lupin smiled as he realised his life was slowly moving forward. It was time to see his friends he thought, time to go back. He looked at the calendar; he got his first wage on Friday, he would go on the 1st. He circled the date and smiled.
oOo
Once upon a time there lived a man named James Potter; he was intelligent, very intelligent in fact but James Potter was a man easily scorned by those who did not understand the concept which he so easily grasped; friendship. You see James Potter trusted his friends more than anything or anybody, a man who had been an only child and confined to boredom in his early years, he valued friendship and no friendship more so than that of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.
On the thirty first of October 1981, James Potter met his death.
It may have been Voldemort who had said the curse but the blood of his murder lay more so on the hands of Peter Pettigrew. It is a strange thought, perhaps hard to comprehend and harder to swallow but before James Potter died he mourned Peter Pettigrew; it did not occur to him that his friend had volunteered the information, instead his mind filled with thoughts of Voldemort torturing the young blond haired man, the Cruiciatus would probably have been used- it wasn't Peter's fault- he had been killed without a doubt, after Voldemort had got what he wanted.
Don't worry Wormtail, he thought, don't worry I'm coming, we'll wait together. We'll watch Lily and Harry and Remus and Sirius and then when they're old and grey they'll meet us but only then.
Only then.
I wrote this about last year sometime, I think and completely forgot about it. There are some parts of it that I love but I can't help but feel that there is just too much repetition of "Once upon a time" in it. I have no idea how many times it's in here but it's a lot so I may go back and make some changes when I have the energy to do so. It's hot and sunny and I'm in an extremely lazy mood. I really should become more productive.
Please review!
09/07/2014: I've edited this now and made a few changes- hopefully it reads a bit better now!