Title: Ruins
Author: Makoto Sagara
Category: Angst
Spoilers: Duo's Episode Zero Story
Pairing: 2x1x2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: shonen ai, angst, language, angst, alternating Duo & Heero POV, and did I mention angst?
Disclaimers: Don't own Gundam Wing, so stop harassing me. I don't own 'My City of Ruins' by Bruce Springsteen. The Boss does! Do I look like The Boss? Nope, so you know I'm not making anything from this.
A/N: This is a combination birthday gift/contest entry for my Jade-sissy. She says she is considering the contest as one large birthday gift to herself, so I decided to help support her, not to mention the fact that I couldn't resist playing around with something from The Boss. snickers What can I say?
Dedication: To my Jade-sissy. Love ya, sweetie pie, and Happy Birthday!!!!
Symbols: /blah/ - thoughts
Ruins
Everything he touched died or faded from existence. He was sure that Heero would be the same way. Duo couldn't stand to see it happen again. Leaving the life he and his love had built, he took the single bag that held everything he had acquired in the three years since the end of the Eve's War, and slipped out of the house like a thief in the night.
Duo had no idea where he was going. He wasn't sure he was going to go exactly anywhere. He just wanted to put as much distance between himself and the one person he was terrified of damaging. He walked until he reached a busy part of town, and hailed a cab.
"Where to?" the worn cabbie asked.
"Space port," Duo replied, letting his head rest against the sticky top of the back seat. The sudden urge to go 'home' had hit him. Not the home he had with the strangely soft blue-eyed man he had just left, but the only one he had had as a small child. The Maxwell Church on the L2 cluster of the colonies. The last place he had experienced a great loss.
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Duo stepped off the shuttle, letting his eyes roam across the semi-deserted space port of his home colony. He shuddered at the sight that greeted him out of the windows. The dingy and, most times, dilapidated building standing next to bright and cheerful sky scrapers made him hate his decision. The blatant contradictions made his blood run cold.
Taking a deep breath, Duo slowly put one foot in front of another, walking along the road that would take him to the ruins of Maxwell Church.
He stopped in front of the burnt down remains of the church's main hall. The ground before his feet was stained red. From blood, paint, or something else, Duo couldn't tell. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Looking ahead, he saw that the old oak doors were open, and he could see inside the deserted ruins of his first home.
Suddenly, a cold wind blew across his face. He had forgotten that the simulated winters of the colonies could be just as bitterly cold as they were on Earth. But, this wind was different. It chilled every bone in his body, and sent warning signals to his brain to get the hell out of there. Instead of listening to his instincts, Duo walked closer to the building, the sound of an old organ drifting through his mind.
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Heero woke up, feeling cold and empty, and reached a hand to the other side of the bed to get closer to his braided lover. When his hand hit the cold sheet next to him instead of Duo, he sat straight up. Looking around, he saw that all of Duo's personal effects were gone. There was not one single trace of another soul living in the house with him.
"Duo?" he called out needlessly. He knew that he was alone, and it sent a chill down his spine. "Where are you?"
Silence reigned throughout the cold house, and Heero felt the chill in his spine move around to grasp his heart, tightly and unrelenting. Slowly, he slid out of the empty bed, letting his feet hit the cold floor without a sound. The nightstand next to the bed was clear of everything.
The tube of lubricate that they had used to make love was gone, probably in the drawer, where it was usually stored, he thought miserably. All of their clothes that had been thrown with abandon were off the floor, his sitting on the top of the clothes hamper.
Feeling desolate, Heero walked through the house, his senses readied for any sound that would signify that Duo was still there, and that he was just having a bad dream. The kitchen was cold and sterile. The living room was lonely and still. Stopping in front of the unused second bedroom turned study, Heero felt his heart fall. It was as quiet as the rest of the house.
Chilly and lonely, Heero made his way back to the empty bed, feeling a tear slide down his face and hit the pillow that still smelled of Duo's shampoo. He was lost without Duo. Didn't the braided man know that? How would he function without him to teach him how to love, live, and be human?
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Duo made his way from the ruined hull of what remained of his first home, ignoring the trash and dirt at his feet. His thoughts lingered on the memories of Father Maxwell, who gave him his education, and Sister Helen, who showed him what it was like to be loved. His heart felt like a rock in his chest, and his soul was a swirl of emotions, most of which he couldn't name if he tried. He didn't.
Looking up, Duo swept his eyes over what was around him. Men standing around, either drug dealers or gang members. Or both. They couldn't be much younger than he was, but at nineteen, Duo felt like an old man. He had lived through so much, lost so much, and still didn't have any idea of what he was, or what he was going to do with himself.
Duo felt impotent rage built in his stomach, and decided it was best if he kept walking. Along the way, he spied corners where he learned the power of seduction and the real stupidity of Man. He saw the prostitutes - men, women, and children - who had taught him so much, but none of the faces were familiar to him. Feeling even more lost, he walked past the boarded up buildings, pick pockets, gangs, and pimps with their goods for sale. He walked on until he found himself back at the space port.
/Where do I go?/ he thought miserably. /What do I have left that isn't tainted?/
A flash of warm blue eyes, strong arms, wild chocolate brown hair, and a beautiful, but hidden, smile crossed his mind. Suddenly, he knew what he was going to do, for the first time since the Eve's War.
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Heero struggled against the urge to wake up. The voice whispering his name had to be a dream. Duo had been gone for a week without a word. There had been no note, no finally declaration of love, no last kiss. There was just silence and the cold. He didn't want to face it again.
His attempts to find Duo through the other former Gundam pilots had been futile. Quatre had said something about how Duo would show up when he wanted to be found again, and to just be patient. Duo would return and tell Heero where he had run off to. Wufei had said that the braided man was just suffering from regret, like the rest of them, and would be back. Trowa had said nothing, and for that Heero was grateful.
A warm, calloused, and familiar hand was shaking his shoulder, the voice still calling for him to wake up. Giving up on thoughts of actually sleeping through the dream, Heero opened a bleary eye, feeling hopeless as he saw the bare wall.
"Over here, baby. I'm on your other side," Duo whispered, sounding hoarse.
Heero's heart stopped. /He... He came back?/
"Duo?" he breathed, turning around to face the voice.
"That's me, Heero-love. Open your eyes fully."
Heero did as he was requested and was greeted by his beautiful Duo. Not thinking twice, he reached out to grasp the coiled braid, pulled the tie off the end, and watched as the long chestnut locks of his lover fell into a puddle on the bed.
"Why?" He knew that the American would understand what he meant, and sure enough, Duo did.
"I needed to."
"Where?"
"L2."
"Did you find it?"
"Find what?"
"What you were looking for."
"It's all ruins. All of it."
"I missed you."
"I missed you too, Heero."
At a lost for more words, Heero sat up, wrapped the other in his arms, kissed him soundly, and pulled Duo down to lay with him.
"Don't."
"I won't."
"Ai shiteru, baka," he whispered, and was rewarded with Duo's rich laughter and hot breath against his collarbone.
"I love you too, Self-Destructo Man."
"Stay home this time."
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Smiling at his lover's simple plea, Duo felt at peace.
"I promise."
"Good. Oyasumi."
"Good night, Heero," he whispered hoarsely, letting one tear fall as sleep claimed him in the arms of the one he loved.
Fin.