A/N: I made this up during math class. This is pretty much a crack fic. The first couple of lines have noting to do with Death Note, but you'll see why. The narrator is not me. It's a fake Mary Sue named Lex. (I rarely support Mary Sues. You better be a damn good Mary Sue for that privilege.)
Warning: Mild language and slightly suggestive mentions. Also a few killings (heh heh…)
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of the characters or the song 'Pop Music' by Say Hi To Your Mom. I also don't own Kurt from Glee. I own Lex, but… well you'll see.
I fear I may never see the light,
Of another moon-lit summer night.
I'm so tired nowadays
To stay up that late anyways
But I could always ask Nate
To take his puzzle to the gate,
As I struggle to stay awake,
And watch me as I sleep.
And I would dream the strangest of dreams,
Of race car tracks and silly things.
Mello would shoot my algebra homework,
And Matt would be kissing Kurt
(Then Mello would shoot him too.)
Ryuk would sing 'Pop Music'
Me: wait what?
And Light would admit to being Kira after he losses it.
Light: I would not! I mean, I'm not Kira! Heh heh…-sweat drops-
Me: -whispering- Good save!
Narrator of the poem: Can I finish?
Me: Um…
Narrator: Good.
But L still loves Light and the two have explicit yaoi-
L: That is quite enough!
Me: Yeah! This is supposed to be K rated!
L: ...That's not what I meant, but I suppose it'll do. I am not in love with Light-kun. Light: Exactly! Besides I'm straight!
Me: …That's not what your last name suggests.
Light: Yagami? What's so…Oh.
Matsuda: I don't get it!
Me: Yagami backwards spells 'Im a gay'.
Matsuda: Oh…-bursts out laughing-
Narrator: God! I've had enough of you all interrupting me! Let me finish!
And Matsuda got together with a wonderful girl named Lex.
But trouble in paradise when Light cheated on L with Sayu.
Light: -puking his guts out-
Sayu: …Hell. No. Besides where's Misa in all this? Also, Narrator isn't your name Lex?
Narrator: …Maybe…And Misa is dead.
Rem: Since when?
Lex: Since just now. You die too.
Rem: No- -drops dead-
Me: -stares at Rem's ashes- Hmm. Shame. –vacuums up ashes-
Matt: -playing PSP- Hey that's God-moding you bitch! That's cheating!
Lex: So what? Like you never did it? I can turn you into a camel so meh!
Matt: At least I hacked to do it, I actually worked for it…
Matsuda: I don't wanna date a Mary Sue! –starts to sob-
Me: -pats Matsu's shoulder- Aw, don't cry Matsu! No one will be dating a Mary Sue.
L: Scarlet, what do you think of all this? Especially the Light and Sayu part.
Light: -pukes more violently-
Me: I don't care. Though I will admit this 'poem' is getting a bit out of hand.
Lex: Well you can't stop me! I will marry Matsuda and have his babies and you can't do anything so ha!
Me: -slightly disgusted- I'm not going to let that happen to poor Matsuda. And I can stop you bitch! Mello!
Mello: Yeah? –glances at Lex- Mary Sue problem again?
Me: Yes.
Mello: -nods- On it. –pulls out gun and kills Lex-
Me: Thanks Mello!
L: I'm not sure if I should thank him or arrest him…
Light: I'd let it slide. Who wants Mello to go to prison, say 'I'.
-crickets chirp-
Light: Alllriight…Thanks Mello.
Matsuda: Thank you, thank you, thank you! You saved me from a fate worse than death!
…Soo…Yeah…As you can see I get bored in math class…Hope you enjoyed my crack fic. Please review!