A Chocolate Bar

by Beyond An Anomaly

And it was enough.

"Shadow."

"What is it, Rouge?"

"I've got a proposition for you."

"Already, my answer is no."

"Oh, come now! Give your partner a chance!"

"You don't tend to have that many ideas worthy of investing in."

"I pay half the rent around here, you know. I paint your motorcycle when it needs the polishing. You owe me the courtesy, at least."

"...Fine. Go on with your proposition."

"I want to...play a game with you."

"A game."

"Right."

"Like cards. A board game."

"Not quite."

"Then what?"

"Hot Seat."

"What?"

"Hot Seat. You ask a question to the other person they have to answer, and in exchange they ask you a question you have to answer. The game ends when one of the players duck out or when the question arsenal runs out. Does that intrigue you any?"

"I thought you had nothing to hide. Wouldn't this game be hard for you?"

"Wouldn't it be harder for you, hun?"

"I think you've had too much to drink tonight."

"I've had enough to enjoy myself, even if just for now."

"And I have one query."

"Go on."

"What does the winner recieve?"

"What would motivate you to play, you mean? I don't know. Maybe...the chocolate bar in my purse?"

"That's been melting for a week? I think I will pass."

"How about we cross the bridge once we get there? Isn't the most intimate knowledge about your closest ally enough?"

"No."

"Well, I'm too buzzed to give you anything else, darling."

"If this gets you to bed faster, then I'll play."

"Perfect. I'll go first."

"Fine."

"How have you been?"

"...Fine, I suppose."

"And what does your variation of 'fine' mean?"

"Isn't the rule one question at a time?"

"Aha. You're learning. Unfortunate."

"My turn?"

"Your turn."

"When...when was..."

"Shadow, honey, let's use our words."

"When was the last time you cried?"

"Ooh. Good one."

"And?"

"I was...ten, I think. I was figure-skating and I twisted my ankle when I tried my first lutz. Wasn't successful. Hobbled on crutches for the next month or two."

"It's really been eight years since the last time you've cried?"

"Hey, hey. One question at a time, hun."

"Fair."

"If I can't bend the rules, surely you can't. Now, next question: do you like it here?"

"What do you mean? Do I like the apartment? Westopolis? Earth?"

"I'll give you creative liberty with this one."

"I...I guess. I don't like the landlord. You know that."

"Ha, I sure do. She nearly evicted us for having up red curtains, all because that was her ex-husband's favorite color."

"But I like that it's...small. Not cozy, but also not crowded. Sometimes I wish that we could just live in the outskirts. Away from the city. I feel like that's all I know after I got a job as your squad leader."

"A vacation would be nice. Like the beach."

"Is that where you'd go for a vacation?"

"No. I prefer the cold. The ocean never freezes over. And what about you? Do you like the cold?"

"Not when I'm alone."

"Explain."

"I like warmth."

"In the arms of someone else."

"I just don't like the cold. I don't know what else I can tell you."

"I see."

"Why do you like the cold so much?"

"It makes me feel warmer in comparison. When do you feel your warmest?"

"When it's warm."

"Asshole."

"Why did you stop skating?"

"I never said I did."

"You had never talked about it until tonight."

"...The accident scared me a bit. My ankle hurt terribly that day, and it still clicks every now and again when I walk. So I glide. I probably wouldn't be that great at it anymore, anyway."

"But you loved it."

"Never said that, either."

"You hurt yourself for it, didn't you?"

"One question at a time, Shadow."

"Didn't you, Rouge?"

"What do you hurt for, then?"

"W-What do I..."

"Hurt for. Right."

"What..."

"You forfeit, darling?"

"What I hurt for."

"Yes."

"The warm days."

"In the-"

"Cold. There were times where her hands weren't as cold, but when they were, she'd ask me to hold them. I'd let my thumbs trace the splotches that marked the injection of the week. She'd kiss my palm in return."

"And it felt-"

"Warm, somehow."

"Your turn."

"Do you really know what I'm talking about?"

"Would you like to know a secret about me?"

"Sure."

"No. No, I don't. I have no idea what that's like."

"Explain."

"I've never felt the drive to give myself to someone at the point where they control my feelings like a thermostat. That's all I can say."

"Rouge-"

"And what about you? When was the last time you cried?"

"Rouge, I-"

"Or do I already know the answer?"

"I think we should stop here. The game's over."

"Come, Shadow. Chocolate makes everyone feel better."

"During my interview for my position as squad leader. That was it. That was the last time I cried. Satisfied?"

"In front of the commander."

"You'll never be satisfied, will you?"

"You know me better than to ask that, Shadow. And what triggered the tears, love?"

"Everything hit at once. What I was doing. That he was there when it fell apart. I collapsed there when I realized the agency was the reason why I was both dead and alive."

"Hm. Poetic."

"I felt like a fool. A child lost in the middle of an amusement park."

"You felt cold."

"And I can't feel that way. It's the worst thing I've discovered about myself. What's the worst thing you've discovered about yourself?"

"Ha, well. Would you believe me if I told you that I loved myself unconditionally?"

"No."

"Well, you're right. I'm never satisfied, nor have I been at any point. You want to know what the first thing I did after I got out of the hospital?"

"What?"

"I tried to get on the fucking ice again. Can you believe that? Lucky I still had a working ankle when I tied a skate under my heel. I tried to convince myself that I could do it. You know, shake it off. But one minute of gliding on the ice on my own and I could not stop crying. Tears were frozen on my face. But I was going to perfect that jump."

"And did you?"

"I can't skate again, so you tell me. I've never really felt proud, you know. Are you ever satisfied?"

"I was satisfied at a time. When I held her hand and it was enough for her. Sometimes I'll think how simple it was, and how that was why I was created. To protect her. And it was enough."

"You loved her."

"Of course I did. And what do you love?"

"Love. Interesting."

"What is?"

"I just told you I had no idea what it felt like to be a thermostat."

"Control and compassion are two different things."

"But how can you love something you're never satisfied with?"

"It's not as difficult as you make it sound."

"I don't believe you."

"Are you satisfied with me, Rouge?"

"...Am I what?"

"When I am around you, do you feel satisfied? Do you stand in the elevator on the way to the office or up to our apartment in anticipation for someone? Are you satisfied with the fact that we met?"

"I...are you satisifed with me?"

"Only if you are."

He took her hand, letting his thumb trace down the tracks the skates left behind.

"Don't."

"Rouge, do you forfeit?"

"N-No."

"Your turn, then."

"Why is this enough for you?"

"Because I like warm places."

She held his thumb. And it was enough.

They split the chocolate, and it melted.