Back To Black

by MsLane

Rachel receives a call from a distraught sounding Santana after having heard of Amy Winehouse's untimely death. She attempts to comfort the cheerleader. Brittana, Pezberry friendship, Faberry undertones.

Back to Black

"Hello?"

The sound of sniffling is the only thing that assures Rachel that there is in fact someone on the other end of the phone.

Hoping that it is indeed who her caller ID indicated it to be, she tries her luck, carefully speaking her name, "Santana?"

She hears a chocked sob from the other end and she takes it to mean a yes. Concern is flaring once again as she registers the fact that Santana has called her up. Crying. And she was never particularly sure if she'd ever get a call from this particular Cheerio.

"Is everything okay? Are you hurt? What happened?"

Santana attempts to hold back another sob, trying to breathe in enough to be able to at least try and say something. Her voice when she finally does speak sounds so broken and gravely that she can barely tell it's her speaking.

"She…She's dead."

Rachel's body freezes. It's as if someone replaced all of her blood with ice cold water in a blink of an eye and then commenced drenching her in a million slushy facials. She can't even begin to try and think about the 'how' or 'when', the only thought going through her head, although somewhat selfish, is 'Please don't let it be Brittany, not sweet innocent Brittany or Quinn. Please.'

Rachel barely lets out a strangled breath, "What?"

Santana tightens her grip on her phone and slams her eyes shut, willing her tears to stop, but to no avail, she continues crying, "She's dead. She died today."

A very broken and scared, "Who?" drifts through the phone and suddenly Santana feels even worse as she realizes that Rachel hasn't a clue who she may be talking about.

"Oh God no Rachel, no they're fine. Everyone here is fine, Brittany, Quinn…they're all okay."

Rachel feels relief flood through her but she still has a very distraught Santana on the line, "Santana…who died?" She asks carefully with her voice seeping compassion.

The Cheerio sniffs and quietly lets out, "Amy Winehouse." Saying the name causes more tears to escape and she lets them fall.

Rachel closes her eyes in a silent prayer for the deceased and then quietly says, "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

Rachel knows how much that particular singer meant to Santana, she practically adored her, so seeing her this upset over her untimely death isn't surprising in the least. What is surprising is the fact that the Cheerio called her. Of all the people she could have called, she called Rachel.

A very un-Santana-like voice filters through, sounding tired, "I just…I didn't think anyone else would totally get it. B and Q liked her but they don't get it completely. They were here, they tried…I…They left though. And I just need someone who wouldn't laugh or even make a joke about her death…Puck wasn't any help."

Rachel gasps at the latter part, not able to comprehend how the boy could attempt humor so soon.

It wasn't fair to her loyal fans.

Rachel allows a tear to fall for the fallen singer before she wipes it away, "Of course I understand Santana. It's perfectly normal to be in pain over hearing about someone's death. Even if that person isn't known to you personally. Singers in particular end up acquiring fans who feel close to them because their music, their lives, speak to them. You were by far the biggest Amy Winehouse fan I've met. I'm sorry that she's no longer with us."

Silent tears have been making their way down Santana's face the whole time.

"Do you think…Never mind." She cuts herself off depreciatively.

Rachel shakes her head, tightening her hand that she clenched into a fist in her desperation to think of something to say, "No, what is it?"

"It's nothing. Thank you for listening Berry. You didn't have to put up with the blubbering mess coming from me. You didn't have to but you did. Even though it was probably the highlight of your day."

"Don't do that Santana." Rachel whispers, hurting because Santana is hurting, "Don't push me out now that you let me in. Let me help. Please."

Santana shakes her head, bottom lip trembling, "I don't need anyone's help Berry. I'm fine. I was just joking."

She hangs up and Rachel's left staring at the phone for a second.

Rachel makes up her mind to console the brunette any way she can. Starting with finding out just where she is.

"Quinn?"

The blonde nods her head before answering realizing Rachel wasn't actually there to see her nod hello, "Hi Rachel."

Quinn hears the brunette's breath hitch on the other line and she knows, "Santana called you."

It wasn't a question or an accusation.

"She did. I want to help her, but…"

Quinn smiles softly, "I know. She's hurting…Britt and I were over there as soon as we heard the news, but we couldn't help and seeing her that upset, upset Britt…You need to look past her pushing you away and you need to push harder with her. You're the only one who'll be able to get it, seeing as you have this thing with Barbra."

Rachel smiles and hums, "Where is she?"

Quinn sighs, "We left her in her room. She wasn't up to anything other than lying in her room after she heard the news. And I had to take Brittany away, it was upsetting her that she couldn't make her girl feel better."

Rachel nods, and then whispers, "I'm glad you're all alright."

Confused, Quinn is about to ask her what she meant by that but before she even gets the chance, Rachel is already saying goodbye and hanging up. The minute after the brunette hangs up Quinn realizes that she must've confused Santana's crying over Amy with crying over them.

Xoxoxo

Rachel is sure that had her driving instructor been in the car with her right now, she wouldn't have even been able to try and retake the test again for another two years. She's horrified with herself, but she's got bigger fish to fry so to speak so she isn't going to dwell on it right now.

She pulls into the Lopez driveway and parks her car, immediately noticing that her father's car isn't parked.

She takes a deep breath and steps out of her car, locking it and stowing her keys before walking up to the door, and gingerly knocking. She would have used the doorbell but she'd rather knock first, hoping that she wouldn't have to startle the brunette into knowing someone came by just yet.

Luckily for her Mrs. Lopez is the one to open the door for her.

"Rachel? Rachel Berry is that you?"

She grins sheepishly at the older brunette, "Hi, hello Mrs. Lopez."

She's pulled into the house and into a tight hug, "I haven't seen you over here since you were nine years old playing tag in the back yard with little Santana, Brittany and Quinn."

Rachel hugs her back just as tight, "I know. It's been a while since I last was over."

Mrs. Lopez lets her go and takes her coat and hangs it on the coat rack, where if you looked carefully enough you'd see the names of four girls carved into the weathered wood in seven year old handwriting.

"I've missed you my little star."

Rachel blushes and lowers her gaze to the floor, "I've missed you too Mrs. Lopez."

The older brunette waves it off and lifts her chin so their eyes can meet, "I don't care if Santana is going to throw a fit or have a conniption over this. You are coming over tomorrow as well. I've already invited your two blondes. I miss my girls."

Rachel's eyes widen, "Mrs. Lopez I don't know if that's a good idea. Britt and Quinn are great and all but I don't think Santana would like it very much if I was to come over again tomorrow. I mean I haven't even let her know I'm here today as it is…We're not exactly the closest of friends."

The older brunette raises an eyebrow and places her hands on her hips, "Rachel Berry. I want you here. Whether Santana can admit it or not is unimportant because she would want you here too. I don't really know what it is that made things go wrong between you, but I think it's high time it stops. I've missed having all four of you over here and laughing."

Suddenly she stops talking and her eyes close for a second before opening again, "She's been so upset today. Quinn and Brittany have been over but they haven't even been able to get her to drink anything let alone eat. I'm worried about her. She's been in her room with her music playing all day."

Rachel nods, "She called me, upset. I came over as soon as I could."

Mrs. Lopez gently gives her a hug, "If you need anything don't hesitate to call. I'll be here."

Rachel nods and just as she's about to walk up the stairs she turns around and quickly states, "Mrs. Lopez? If you happen to hear yelling and screaming and crashing…don't worry, it's normal."

Eyes widening, Mrs. Lopez wants to say something but a quick determined nod from Rachel is all she gets before the tiny brunette is making her way up the stairs.

Standing in front of the cheerleader's room, Rachel suddenly isn't as sure as she was earlier. 'What if she throws me out? What if she punches my nose? What if she starts to hate me again? What if she starts the slushy facials again?'

She feels her heart jump into her chest as she suddenly hears the opening notes of 'Back to Black' start and a loud choking sob sounds after it.

'Screw it.' She shuts her eyes as soon as her hand closes into a fist as she lifts it to knock on the door, not even believing that she was able to call out her name.

"Santana?"

Immediately she hears Santana attempt to curb her crying, appearing to have tumbled off a chair or edge of the bed before her bedroom door is ripped open.

"Berry? What the fuck are you doing here? Who the hell let you in?"

Rachel swallows down her fear of being hit once she takes in the utter chaos that is Santana Lopez. Her hair is up in a messy bun, tendrils falling framing her face. Her nose and eyes are red from crying, and honestly if no one knew she would've been thought to be sick. Her eyes aren't shining. Her lips are swollen apparently from being bit in an attempt to stop herself from crying. She's in sweats and an old Cheerio sweatshirt, the oversized collar hanging off her shoulder, the long sleeves being bunched up in the brunette's fists.

"I asked you a fucking question Yentl. I expect answers."

Her voice is even more gravely than usual, and just as biting, but it's lost its sting for Rachel having to be witness to her broken state.

So regardless of the consequences of her actions, she looks Santana in the eyes and steps forward just a little bit, and she all but whispers out, "My friend needs me."

She slowly wraps her arms around Santana's waist and pulls her close.

Rachel expects a lot of things to happen, none of which really resulted in Santana hugging her back. But that's just what happens.

After the initial knee jerk reaction of stiffening at the unexpected proximity, Santana all but collapses in Rachel's arms. Rachel is allowed to carefully maneuver them deeper into the room, closing the door behind them all without letting go of the weeping cheerleader in her arms.

Santana's arms tighten around the diva's neck as tears continue to fall seemingly without end, her breathing becoming labored as her body tries to keep up with her.

"I c-can't…Rachel she's d-dead, g-gone!" her voice cracks as her sobs rack through her body.

Rachel nods slowly, tightening her own arms around the crying brunette's body, "I know San. I know, shh it'll be okay." She rubs a hand up and down her back, feeling how frantically the girl's heart is beating, how hard her body is shaking from her continued sobs.

"San, you need to calm down honey. Please. I know you're upset but please try and breathe for me. Try and stop, I know you can San." She quietly whispers in the brunette's ear, rubbing a hand up and down her back, still able to feel how rapid her heart is beating, and how choked she sounds trying to take in breaths that just weren't enough.

Santana's arms tighten further, her crying still coming full force, "I'm so sorry Rachel, God I'm so sorry, I really am. Please."

Rachel nods, "Shh it's okay San, don't cry it's okay, I know. I know you are. Calm down, it's okay."

Rachel continues her ministrations as Santana continues to cry into her shoulder, her cries quieting down and now are just a mere trickle, her breathing somewhat returns to normal with the occasional erratic double inhale that comes from crying so hard. Her heart rate is slowly returning to normal and still Rachel continues rubbing her back.

Rachel runs a hand up her back and up to her arms that are locked around her shoulders, and whispers, "Are we okay? Can we sit down? I wont let go, but maybe we should sit down and let you get comfortable."

Santana lifts her head and slowly unwraps her arms from around the tiny brunette and avoids eye contact as she nods. She attempts to move away but Rachel holds fast and brings her down next to her on the bed, forcing the cheerio to lay down, placing her head in the diva's lap. Rachel undoes the messy bun and runs her fingers through the brunette's hair.

"My head always hurts after I cry for a long time. I always like it when I have someone around who can help relieve the hurt. I hate after crying headaches." Rachel whispers as she continues to massage the brunette's head gently.

Santana curls into her side and lets a few tears escape her eyes, her voice cracks terribly as she sniffs out, "Why…why are you being so nice?"

Rachel rubs her back as she continues playing with her hair gently, "Like I said, my friend needs me."

Santana scoffs, "Some friend."

Rachel smiles sadly, "Don't do that Santana. You apologized."

The cheerleader rolls over and looks up at the diva, "I did?"

Rachel smiles gently, "A while ago…in the midst of the consoling."

"I did."

Rachel nods her head and gently rolls Santana back around so she's back in her previous position so she can resume her ministrations, "And I forgive you. You never did apologize and make nice when Quinn did, you just sort of stopped with the more brutal nicknames and you helped reinforce the no slushies. So now you did, and I've forgiven you, everything is all okay."

Santana's eyes sting with tears again as she makes out the song that's playing now. She sniffs and shudders out a breath, "I love her cover of this song. It always made me kind of cry. This is my Brittany song."

Rachel coos softly as she squeezes the brunette's arm, listening to the sound of the guitar and Amy's voice filtering through the speakers, catching up after the first couple of lines.

'Tonight, the light of love is in your eyes.

Will you still love me tomorrow?'

She feels Santana take in a deep breath and then she feels it expel against her leg and then the Cheerio is joining in, "Is this a lasting treasure? Or just a moment's pleasure? Can I believe the magic of your sighs? Will you still love me tomorrow?"

Her voice is broken and hurt and gravely but she sounds so perfect that Rachel is entranced. She thinks for a spilt second before she carefully joins in with her after the next line, just as quiet and just as softly as Santana's voice so as to not drown out Amy's voice.

"You said that I'm the only one, the only one. But will my heart be broken, When the night meets the morning star? I'd like to know that your love, is love I can be sure of, so tell me now cuz I won't ask again. Will you still love me tomorrow? Will you still love me tomorrow?"

Rachel can feel the tears soaking through her jeans and she's suddenly aware of the tears that escaped her own eyes while they were singing.

"That was beautiful."

Santana nods her head and lets out a quiet, somewhat surprised, "Yeah."

After a few minutes of just sitting there basking in the sound of the instrumental version of the same song, Rachel hears a grumble.

Santana buries her face into her leg and Rachel bites her lip to stop from giggling, "I'm going to get you something to eat, and a nice cold glass of water okay?"

The cheerleader shakes her head as she sits up slowly, rolling her eyes as she does so, "No. I'm not hungry and I'm not thirsty."

Rachel gives her a look and shakes her head, but quietly says, "I'm not leaving you know. I promise I'll be back."

Santana wants to snap out a retort, it's on the tip of her tongue, but one look at Rachel looking at her like she really does care and she can't bring herself to say anything to pretend that she wasn't worried about that.

So she just shrugs and quickly looks away, "Whatever."

Rachel nods and carefully makes her way downstairs to the kitchen.

She allows herself a smile when she sees that it hasn't changed at all since the last time she's been here. The soft yellows and wood frames hold so many memories of past summers as she makes her way to the cupboard that used to hold the cups, and sure enough there they all are. She smiles to herself as she picks up a glass and as she turns around she sees Mrs. Lopez smiling at her, "I'm glad all these years away didn't make you forget where everything is."

Rachel grins and shrugs, "I don't think I could ever forget where anything is in this house Mrs. Lopez. I spent more time here than in my own house."

The older brunette nods her head with a soft smile, "I remember saying just that to your fathers. Is she hungry?"

Rachel nods slowly, "Yes ma'am, but she's denying it. I came downstairs anyways."

Mrs. Lopez shakes her head, "Quinn tried the same. Santana ended up taking the tray and sliding it down the hall away from her room. Brittany poor thing came out crying thinking Santana was starving herself like Ghandi."

Rachel's eyes widen and the older brunette gives her a little smile, "She read about it while she was researching something for her history project. Apparently a little singing star birdy and blonde cheerio birdy have been helping my little girl teaching Brittany how to do certain things."

Rachel grins and shrugs, "She's very smart, all she ever needed was for people to stop thinking she's st…she's not as smart as them because in reality sometimes I think she's even smarter than Quinn…or okay maybe me. Quinn is really really smart."

The older brunette smiles and nods, "Santana isn't going to pull a Ghandi though. She loves her mama's cooking too much. She's just really stubborn."

Rachel grins, "So am I."

The diva grabs the bread and peanut butter and jam from the fridge and starts making two PB&J's complete with a glass of milk.

As she's putting all the things away she notices Mrs. Lopez looking at her a little bit in wonder, "Why is it that you and Quinn made her a PB&J?"

Rachel ducks her head, only slightly surprised that Quinn remembered.

"When we were younger, if one of us was upset, the others would all band together and make a sandwich. No matter what was wrong, it never failed to happen whenever I was feeling just a little bit sad, I'd always have a yummy PB&J and a glass of milk brought to me. And it had to be done by us, no help from our parents, except maybe for them to help by grabbing the ingredients if they ended up putting it away somewhere too high."

Mrs. Lopez nods, "That's…you four, I swear I don't know what happened."

Rachel shrugs lightly, a small smile on her face, "It's alright, things are going back to normal I think…for the most part at least."

With that Rachel grabs the tray and makes her way back upstairs, balancing the tray in one hand while she turns the door knob only to be hindered when she realizes it's locked.

She furrows her brow and knocks, "Santana? Could you please unlock the door?"

She hears a scoff, "Hows about you just stop the bullshit and leave."

Rachel takes a deep breath and shakes her head, "I'm not leaving Santana. And if I have to I'll grab a nail file and break in."

Santana laughs sardonically, "You're Berry, you'd never do that. Now stop being an ass in my pain and leave."

Rachel huffs, "I'll have you know after witnessing Quinn with a nail file, I asked her to teach me. I would because you're being difficult. And I'll have you know I'm not trying to be an "ass in your pain" Santana, I promise all I'm trying to do is help."

Santana roars from the other side of the door, "I don't need your fucking help RuPaul! I need for you to fucking leave!"

Rachel puts the tray down and folds her arms just as she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket, pulling it out she sees a message from Quinn, 'Britt's asleep, I'm coming back over. 2 minutes away. xx Q'

Rachel sighs in relief, 'Hurry, she's locked me out of her room xo R*'

She then rests her head against the door, softly knocking then scraping her nails down the wood, reveling in the worn out door, "Please San."

"STOP calling me that! Go away. Seriously, I swear to you if you don't fucking leave I will make you think the last couple of years have been a breeze, you'll be the most targeted junior in history, and I swear I wont stop until you cant walk two feet without getting drenched in slushy."

Rachel shakes her head and sighs, "Santana, let me in please, I just…I want to make you feel better."

Santana laughs, but it isn't a happy laugh at all, "Please, you just want to see badass Lopez at her lowest so you can laugh at me and enjoy the fact that I'm actually showing emotion for someone other than Brittany...And Quinn."

The tiny diva slides down the door, placing her back to it and resting her head against it, "That's not it at all Santana. If you really think that then I don't think you ever really knew me at all."

The resulting yell makes her jump and the sound of something being thrown across the room makes her jump even further, "You don't know SHIT Dwarf! Leave my fucking house! And DON'T ever come back!"

Rachel is shaken because she doesn't think she's ever heard Santana yell that loud or that intensely ever before.

She turns so she's facing the door again and speaks just above a whisper, but is clear enough so she knows the girl across the door can hear her, "Santana, I'm not leaving. I'm sorry if I'm causing you more pain, but that isn't my goal at all. I just want to help."

Suddenly it sounds as if Santana is right against the door, leaning her head against the door as well, "You want to help?"

Rachel nods, "Yes, more than anything."

She hears her take in a breath and sniff before saying in a broken voice, "Then leave Berry, please."

"Rachel?"

Her head snaps up and she notices the blonde before her, "Quinn." She scrambles up and throws her arms around her, "She's so hurt."

Quinn wraps her own arms around the tiny diva and nods against her, "I know, I know, we're going to help though. Come on."

The blonde takes a step back away from her gently and takes hold of one of the brunette's hands and tugs her beside her. Quinn takes a breath before knocking, "San?"

They both hear Santana pound the door once, "Oh my fucking, just what?"

Quinn places her palm flat on the door, "Could you please let us in?"

They can just picture Santana shaking her head and rolling her eyes, "Uhh fucking no I'm not going to let you in. I thought you had enough of this shit Q."

Quinn shrugs, "I had to make sure Britt knew that her girlfriend wasn't going to starve herself or break up with her because she couldn't figure out how to make you stop crying."

Rachel looks up at Quinn and sees her staring at the door, Santana's voice sounds even more broken, "She…She thought I was going to break up with her?"

Quinn nods slowly, "The entire ride home she was crying and saying how she was such a bad girlfriend, how she should be able to make you stop hurting or maybe take away some of the hurt and place it on herself so you wouldn't feel it all on your own. She loves you so much San and she was so hurt because she couldn't even reach you, you were shutting her out."

Miraculously they hear the lock twist and the door slide open revealing an even more saddened Santana, "Is she okay now? Did you tell her I wasn't going to break up with her? I could never…"

Quinn nods and lets go of Rachel's hand gently so she can wrap the crying brunette in a hug and that's when Rachel realizes that Quinn was holding her hand the whole time.

Rachel picks up the tray and walks into the room, closing the door behind them before hugging Santana from behind, wrapping her arms tightly around her, resting her head against her back.

After a few beats, Quinn whispers, "We're making a San-Sandwich."

And just like that Santana is choking out a laugh, sniffing and trying to regain her composure.

Rachel squeezes her tighter, "She always did have the best sandwich makers."

Suddenly she feels the taller brunette turn in her arms, wrapping her in a proper hug, "I'm sorry. I know I said it and then I blew up again but I'm sorry. I'd never start up the slushies."

Rachel nods against her, "I know Santana."

Pulling away she rubs her face slightly and lets out a breath, "God I'm so sorry for all of this."

Quinn shakes her head, "Don't do that San. Seriously, we get it. Just stop trying to push us away, cuz we're not going anywhere."

Rachel grabs the glass of water and brings it over to the brunette who plopped down onto her rug, "Here, drink this; you'll appreciate the water against your throat."

Santana gratefully takes the glass of water and drinks it down, reveling in the way the water feels so refreshing against her overheated insides.

Quinn smiles at Rachel and grabs the plate of sandwiches, smiling wider when she notices, "You remembered."

Rachel smiles back softly, "I never forgot."

Santana eyes the plate and then a look of dawning crosses her face, "Is that?"

Quinn and Rachel look at her and nod, "That's the same thing I made for you earlier today, but you wouldn't know seeing as you just literally slid it down the hall."

Santana looks guiltily up at the blonde and apologizes, "I'm sor."

Quinn interrupts her, "Don't it's okay. Just eat and we'll consider it all behind us."

The brunette shrugs but takes the plate, "I'm not really all that hungry."

Her body decides to speak up at that moment, a growling sound erupting from her stomach.

Rachel grins, "Your belly states otherwise. Please eat okay? Just some, if you cant finish it all it's okay but at least take a few bites."

Quinn and Rachel watch as Santana picks up a sandwich and eyes it for a second before finally taking a bite. They grin at her and then at each other.

Rachel takes this opportunity to look around the cheerleader's bedroom, having not been in here since forever. It's changed a lot over the years but she notices that tucked in the mirror; almost unnoticeable since it's surrounded by many other pictures is one of four little girls, two brunettes and two blondes, all of them with wide smiles and a number of missing teeth.

It's surprising to say the least to see that Santana has this picture, and that she has it pinned up in plain site. It makes Rachel rethink everything about her.

Quinn lies down on her back, staring at the ceiling when she suddenly chuckles.

Glancing at her shows she's still looking at the ceiling and Santana raises an eyebrow, swallowing her mouthful before asking, "What's so funny Blondie?"

Quinn starts to giggle as she points to the ceiling, "You've got paint specks on the ceiling."

Santana quirks her eyebrow again, "Yeah and?"

Quinn grins and rolls over to her side to face them, "We're the reason you've got them on the ceiling."

Rachel suddenly remembers and she starts giggling too, followed closely by Santana chuckling, "Mama was so pissed off. We were drenched."

Rachel smiles, "She told us she wanted help. So we did!"

Santana laughs, "I'm just glad she had people move all the stuff out of the room or else it would've been a real mess."

The blonde rolls back over onto her back and nods, "Mm. God, remember what we did to Brit and Rach?"

Santana chuckles at the memory, "We lined them up right next to each other and started flinging the paint from our brushed onto them…Rachel was so excited when we opened up the cans and she saw the yellow paint."

Rachel smiles at the memory, nodding her head, "And then we switched and had you and Quinn stand on the opposite wall and Britt and I traced around you instead of flicking paint."

The blonde laughs, "You kept running the brush across my hand every time you tried going between all my fingers and I ended up having a yellow hand and an almost complete hand on the wall."

Rachel blushes, "Yeah, I remember."

Santana grins slightly, "Britt started painting a duck on me after she finished outlining me."

Quinn semi whispers, "'Ducks are yellow S…and so are stars! And Rach loves stars and I love ducks! And…Quinn's hair is pretty just like this yellow.'"

Quinn rolls over onto her stomach and looks at Santana who has finished both sandwiches and is now drinking the glass of milk.

"I never did get what Britt was trying to get at, but thinking about it just now it totally came to mind."

Santana shrugs not making eye contact with either girl.

Rachel's heart soars as she makes the connection, "Santana…"

The brunette shakes her head, "Don't. It was forever ago."

Quinn nods, "Yeah but you still did it. And look, we're all here. Britt would be too if she didn't fall asleep as she plotted ways to get you to cheer up."

Santana softly smiles, "Was she upset?"

Rachel looks at Quinn waiting for the answer as well. The blonde shakes her head, "Not at you. She was kinda upset that she couldn't make you feel better or stop crying. She started making lists and thinking things through, writing out every possible scenario."

Quinn and Santana turn to Rachel who blushes and ducks her head, "I…She may have picked that up from me."

Santana laughs before downing the rest of the milk, "Wow Lil-Bit's got Britt over analyzing just like her now."

She places the plate and cup onto the tray and pushes it over and lies down beside the blonde.

Rachel leans back against the bed and folds her leg Indian style, her fingers running through the soft rug as she thinks about times gone by.

Santana suddenly sits up and turns up the music. She plops down right next to the docking station and closes her eyes.

The sound of 'You're Wondering Now' pours through the speakers.

Quinn and Rachel jump up and flank Santana, throwing their arms around her. Santana leans her head against Rachel's and sighs as she shrugs, "I've been waiting for her comeback. I was one of the very few people who kept faith. I told everyone, I just know she's coming back. She was working on her third album, God I couldn't wait for it to hit the stores so I could prove what I knew was right. She was so good though. So very good."

Rachel rubs her hands up and down her side as Quinn runs her fingers through her hair, "I know how hard it is, and I know you're hurting, but at least she isn't suffering anymore. At least she'll finally have peace."

Santana nods, sniffs slightly, "Yeah, I know. I know but it still hurts and like what the fuck though, it's not like I knew her."

Quinn wipes the few stray tears off of Santana's cheek and cups it, "You need to stop trying to belittle what you're feeling. It's okay to care you know. Rach here would probably be the same if, God prevent it, Barbra got sick, forget dies."

Rachel takes in a sharp inhale, "Hold your tongue Quinn!...But yes, Quinn's right, it's okay to feel this way. She was your Barbra. And I think your body just had enough with holding back all of these feelings, that now that it's got its opening it's taking advantage."

Santana scrunches her eyes closed and lets out a breath, "Her voice."

And once again she's tearing up. Rachel looks at Quinn and the blonde nods as she gets up pulling out her phone as she does so.

Rachel pulls the brunette into her lap, and wraps her arms around her, "She'll never be truly gone. So long as there are people still listening to her music, people who still sing her songs, fans who will forever remember her, she'll never truly be gone. She'll live on for forever through her music."

Santana just stays there, her head tucked into Rachel's shoulder basking in the warmth and the steady constant beating of her heart.

"I don't want to keep up the bullshit anymore Rachel. I mean for fuck's sake, she was 27…just 27 and she got taken away. We have no idea when we're gonna die and I don't want to spend my time playing pretend."

She sits up and looks Rachel square in the eyes and hugs her tight, "I miss you. Thank you for not putting up with my crazy. I'm sorry for yelling at you."

Rachel's eyes widen but then she relaxes completely into the embrace, "I miss you too San."

When Quinn walks back into the room, the Cheerio gets up and throws her arms around the blonde in a tight embrace, "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm sorry for all the previous stupid, I'm glad we worked things out and I'm really happy you and the hobbit are more than okay cuz it makes it easy for me to be too."

Quinn hugs her back just as tight, "It's nice to have you back San."

They sit around listening to a couple more songs before Santana stands up and announces, "I'm gonna go see mama…come with?"

Rachel and Quinn grin at each other before nodding and hoping up and following her down the stairs.

Just as they're about to reach the landing, the front door is pushed open and Brittany is waiting there, her blue eyes shining bright looking up at Santana.

"B." Santana stops on the last step, hand holding the railing, eyes wide.

Brittany walks up to her and Santana all but flings herself into her arms, Brittany's arms wrapping around her automatically, holding her up and close.

"I love you so much B, so so much, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She whispers into her ear brushing her lips against her cheek every now and then.

Brittany shakes her head, "I love you too San, please don't be sorry. It's okay to be sad. I was just sad I couldn't stop you from crying. I love you so much I don't want you to ever cry."

Rachel looks from the two in the embrace before her to the blonde next to her who's smiling while looking at her.

"What?" Rachel asks blushing slightly.

Quinn smiles wider and wraps an arm around her shoulder giving her a half hug, "You're such a romantic."

The tiny brunette blushes deeper and nods, "Yeah, but so are you. I happen to have it on good authority that you're the one that called and told Britt to get her posterior over here."

Quinn grins and nods, "What can I say? I'm a sucker for happy endings."

Rachel grins and wraps her arm around Quinn's tiny waist and leans her head against the blonde. She looks over at the two before them and she cant help but think that as sad as it is that the world lost another great soul and artist, she's grateful that Amy brought them back together.

Xoxox

Sometime later on that night, as all four of them shuffle back into Santana's bedroom for the night, the taller brunette turns to Rachel and shuffles her feet while asking, "Do you think it'd be okay if uh…What I mean is. Look half-pint could you, please, like help me out with."

Rachel interrupts gently by placing a hand on her forearm, nodding her head, "I'd love to San. The glee club wont know what hit them. You have the perfect voice."

Both blondes watch on as their brunettes bond, both wearing similar smiles as they see them smile at each other.

"That…means a lot."

The tiny diva smiles so wide she's actually worried that she'll end up having a permanent smile on her face, "It would be an honor Santana. Honest."

Rachel looks at the three young women before her and she smiles and sends up a quick prayer for Amy Winehouse, hoping that wherever she is now, that she knows how much she's affected their lives, both in life and death.

'Rest in peace Miss Amy Winehouse, I hope you finally find the peace you weren't given here on Earth.'

A/N: Love it or hate it, please review. I really just couldn't let this go, it was rattling around in my head since the very next day after I heard the news. RIP Amy.