"Jeff."
"Mmf."
"I need to speak with you. I have questions." Joker rustled slightly under the covers of the bed, his face obscured by the shelter of a pillow while EDI gently shook his shoulder.
"No." He growled under the fabric, attempting to fall back asleep. She poked his bare back gently, her metallic finger's temperature purposefully lowered slightly. He yelped, his back arcing as he childishly tried to squirm away from her.
"What? It's four in the morning!" He grumbled as he sat up, blearily scowling at her.
"I know what time it is. The last few hours I have been running side tasks until my inquiry become more and more of a priority to be answered."
"Can't you ask Garrus?" He moaned, stretching. "He's part owl. He never sleeps."
"That is impossible." She stated, pausing for a moment as she processed his response. "Does that joke refer to turians' avian-like digestive traits, Garrus' erratic sleeping habits, or the common connection that humans make between the physical similarities of birds and his species?"
"All of them. What's your question about?" Joker got out of the bed, limping to the bathroom and itching his briefs. EDI sat up in the bed, her eyes unflinching as the bathroom light lit up the dark bedroom, still staring at the empty door in which Jeff had just disappeared through.
"Liara." She said simply.
"I should have known. You two are good gal pals now, huh?" Sounds of the toilet and sink ran, and the light was flicked off. He stumbled back into bed, laying down as she sat above him.
"Regardless of our 'gal pal' status, she tends to avoid questions centered around asari. Especially questions about asari involving their culture and organic social norms."
"Uh-huh. So, back to the question."
"The question also centers around Shepard."
"Oh boy. This should be fun." Joker rubbed his hands together mockingly.
"Shepard and Liara are in a relationship."
"And?"
"And, that puzzled me at first. Liara must know that by her species' standards, Shepard will die very soon."
"Uh, well, I mean..." Joker started, getting a bit uncomfortable. "We all have a pretty high chance of dying soon anyway, don't we? Having an army of giant murder-bots with a grudge against us does that."
"While your humor-oriented answer was expected, you make a valid point. However, this matter transcends just Shepard and Liara. Why do asari get into relationships with humans, salarians, and species with relatively short lifespans compared to them?"
"Er...think of it this way. For asari, it sucks. But for humans, you get a smoking hot blue alien babe that never ages, has literal mind-blowing sex, and will stay with you your entire life." EDI opened her mouth to immediately counter, instead closing it to think.
"I have not considered that. A human perspective certainly changes things."
"Boom. There you go. Can I go back to sleep now...?"
"Not yet. One more question."
"Ugh." Joker sighed, blinking a few times to wake himself up and putting a hand on her thigh, looking up at her from his pillow. "Alright. I'm ready. Hit me."
EDI looked down at him, her hand brushing across his stubbly cheek. She studied his face, his blue-green eyes, his facial hair that is two days past overdue his usual routine shave, the crinkles around his eyes.
"What am I supposed to do when you're gone?" This question blindsided Joker. He stared at her, shocked, unable to even come up with an answer that would even remotely salvage this horrible question he had even thought in the privacy of his own mind, never uttering it out loud because of the thought being too painful.
"EDI, I-"
"I know. It's a hard question. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I don't even know how long this body will last. I'll stay alive in the Normandy, but what if we survive this Reaper attack? I can't find purpose, Jeff. Even if we don't survive, even if we die, there's always the research I do on the afterlife, what happens if there is one, what that means if I don't even die the same way you do-"
"EDI-"
"I'm a machine! I'll just turn off. You'll go somewhere, you're organic, even with the information of what happens after organics die all being based on speculation, I'm not-I'll just...just...turn off."
"EDI. Listen to me." He sat up, taking her hands in his and making her look him in the eyes, the two level on the bed.
"Regardless of what happens. I will stay with you. Okay? I don't want us to think about all the possibilities. We're gonna live life in the now, we're gonna be here for each other, and we're not gonna think about it." His voice broke at the end, hiding it with a cough. She looked at their tangled hands in the dark.
"I know. That is a good idea. However-"
"No need for however's, EDI. Come lay down."
"But-"
"EDI." He rubbed her hands as he laid back down, letting her join him as they faced each other on the bed.
"We're gonna see what happens after this damn war. But I know that no matter what, I'm gonna make sure that every day with you counts. Deal?"
"Yes, Jeff. Deal."
"Jeff." EDI murmured, her soft warning tone almost poised as a question.
"I know!" Joker burst back, his hands flitting across his holographic screen as she watched him carefully from her own seat. "I'm not losing this damn ship again!" She pondered his statement, addressing the destruction of the SR-1, the chances of evading of the gaining explosive wave that Jeff was trying his best to maneuver, and the destruction of the ship that meant possible survival for organic crew members in escape pods, including Jeff, but the 'death' of EDI herself all in an instant.
"Jeff." She repeated again, pleading as the ship launched at FTL speeds. "If the Normandy is destroyed-"
"Don't!" He interrupted hurriedly, too focused on flying. "Don't say that! We're going to make it!"
"Please, Jeff. If this is it, I want you to know-"
The wave passed through the ship, and the ship rocked, throwing Joker forward. He felt an explosion inside the ship, and the feeling of drifting, falling...
Hands pushed the wreckage inside the cockpit away, allowing a clear path to the main room. Joker panted, looking around. "Everyone okay?" He was relieved to hear shouts in response, knowing that they at least landed somewhat safely. He turned to EDI, still in her seat with her back to him.
"EDI! Crew's okay! I think we crash-landed." He put a hand on her shoulder, manually turning the seat. His eyes flickered in an array of emotions, staring at her.
"E-EDI?"
