A Toy's Story
Stardate 3142… no, I can't. It's too sad, even Rodney wouldn't start his 'I'm stranded in a strange mockery of life diary', with a Stardate. The thing is, I have no clue what date it is. Hell, I'm not even sure I'm awake, because seriously, this has to be some kind of Monty python-esque nightmare. I don't know how much time I have on this, well I suppose the only word is gigantic laptop. Okay, that's two words. Let me start at the beginning…
My name is LT Col John Sheppard of the USAF and until recently I was based at a very secret location. I can't disclose anything about it. Sorry. Protocol you know. Anyway, I don't remember how it happened, but I appear to have found myself in the land of the giants. No really, I shit you not. Someone took me out of this box, and I mean 'someone', as in a person, a real, normal person. Except for the small (no pun intended) matter of her being about 1000 times larger than me. She seems to be quite nice though. She obviously thinks I'm dead or petrified or something, 'cause the one time I moved (I'd been out the box about an hour, I'd been still until then for recon purposes) she freaked out, picked up a wine glass that I could have drowned in and left the room. She came back a few hours later, having quite clearly drunk the remainder of the wine and then some. She started to talk to me. She picked me up in her hand, and moved my arms and legs around. It was so freakin' wrong. Like I was her toy… I've seen children play like that, did it myself, with small, plastic action figures. My preference was arranging battle scenes with Han and Luke.
Only, I'm not a damn action figure. Yesterday I was a person. I need to get back to Atl… my base. Can anyone help me? I'm alone, none of my team are here. I can't even begin to formulate an escape plan- I need more information.
Damn, gotta go. I think I hear her coming back up the stairs.
Please, HELP ME!!