"I've been contemplating things that begin with the letter M, moron," the hatter said. "Mutiny, murder, mmmmalice."
"We're looking for an A word now," the Queen of Hearts said, curtly, before losing a little bit of her temper. "Where is Alice?"
"Who, that wee little boy?" the hatter answered. "I wouldn't know."
"Will you remember better with your head cut off?"
The hatter giggled.
"Stop that," instructed the bulbous-headed majesty.
The hatter's amused smile abruptly became a frown.
"Your Majesty," Alice said politely.
"Yes Um?"
"I think your captive is uselessly befuddled," Alice observed with a gentle and amused smile. "I know you want answers from him, but I think he doesn't have them. May I please keep him?"
Iracabeth's gaze almost cut into Alice.
"You like him?" she asked.
Alice smiled a little bashfully and bit her bottom lip. "He's so brightly coloured Majesty," Alice answered.
"You like colour, do you Um? Oh, alright. I suppose you may. I can't see anything about him that could be considered fashionably big, but I am willing to grant the colourful hatter to my new favourite," Iracebeth said, smiling slightly.
"I am most grateful, your Majesty," Alice said, smiling a huge, delighted smile.
Iracebeth smiled condescendingly. "You may take him and install him in the room beside the one given to you Um. Go on, enjoy your madman."
Alice stood and curtsied low before taking Tarrant's chained hands in her own and leading him away.
"My queen?" asked the knave. "Are you sure that is wise?"
"The hatter has long lost his mind it would seem. If Um likes him, then I will not mind giving her something to amuse her. She was not well liked in Umbridge," the monarch answered easily as the door closed behind her new favourite and the hatter.
~oOo~
"The white rabbit should have found the location of the vorple sword by now," Tarrant whispered.
"I'll find him," Alice promised just as quietly. "There should be something in here to help you get those chains off."
Tarrant smiled happily and started searching the room while Alice ducked back out.
~oOo~
"What are you doin' 'ere?" Mally demanded furiously.
"Much," Alice answered simply. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm rescuing the 'atter!"
Alice nodded. "I'll take you to him, but first... McTwisp, do you know where the vorple sword is?"
The white rabbit nodded, nervously, and Alice picked up the equally white door mouse before following McTwisp out to the courtyard.
"I-it's in there," McTwisp said, pointing.
"I know that smell..." Alice said, peering in. "Mally, I'm going to need the bandersnatch eye," Alice said. "Hatter is up in the room that the queen gave me. McTwisp knows where that is."
An hour later and with no incidence at all, Alice left Salazen Grum with Tarrant, Mally and McTwisp on the back of the bandersnatch, vorple sword in hand.
~The End~