CHAPTER 1: Joe conquers the Venomous Moth

"READY TO GO!" Nick screamed at the top of the snowy hill.

"I do not know, I am not sure that it is aerodynamic enough." Added Joe, sceptically.

"Oh shush, it's already a super mega foxy awesome toboggan with flames on the side." Replied Nick. "now all we need is a test driver."

"IM DOWN LIKE JUDGE JOE BROWNNNN!" Kevin popped up out of nowhere.

"Yeah right, your hair is SO un-aerodynamic." Joe snorted.

"….Dude, did you just snort?" asked Nick.

"Why I do believe so." Joe remarked.
Nick snorted at Joe's remark. But he was interrupted mid-snort by the sound of a mysterious voice.

"Hey there. Mind if I take it for a spin?"

The three brothers turned around to see a girl with a very aerodynamically shaped head. All three of their right eyebrows arched in unison.

"…I don't think so. Are you aware that you look like a shark?" They questioned.

"Hey now. Don't discriminate against my people!" Replied shark girl.

"Sorry lady, but sharks belong in the sea eating fishies, not on the slopes eating dirt when they crash into a giant tree cause they CAN'T DRIVE FREAKIN TOBOGGINS!"

Suddenly, the shark became enraged. "You WILL pay for this!" she vowed, as she stormed off beyond the hill and into the abyss.

The brothers exchanged glances and turned around simultaneously to face their toboggan to find two girls examining it and rifling through it.
"HEY!" Cried Joe
"WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Screamed Nick as he twitched uncontrollably.
"…STOP THAT!" Kevin added, although he didn't really mind the girls looking over the toboggan, he just wanted to fit in with his brothers.
The three boys ran up to the girls to defend their territory.
"This is a TOTAL fail of a toboggan," Said the taller of the two to the other.
"I know, totally UNAERODYNAMIC. Built by amateurs, clearly." Responded the other.

Three brothers let out three gasps of shock, disbelief, and horror.

"Why, ON THE FREAKIN CONTRARY!" Joe spat, "We HAPPEN to be professionals."

The two girls exchanged superior glances.

"Well, pros like you must know how steer down Venomous Moth Mountain!" Said the darker haired girl.

"Venomous Moth Mountain?" asked Nick, unclear.

"Oh you know, the giant hill just down the route, that noone has ever come out of alive?" added the taller girl.

"Oh, well obviously, we know. We were just making sure we were talking about the same venomous moth." Covered Joe, "but we obviously know how to steer that mountain. We only ride down every winter."

"Alright then, show us!" said the dark haired girl to the boys. She and the other girl exchanged glances again, and together, they lifted their hands and snapped their fingers twice.

Suddenly, there was a crash of light. The boys lurched forward. It felt like somebody had snapped their backs in half. But when they looked up, they were standing at the top of the biggest mountain they had ever seen.

"I think I just wet myself" meeped Kevin.
"…Ew." Joe responded in disgust.
"Pitiful…" Nick said, shaking his head.
"ALRIGHT! SO who will be the pilot of this pile of crap today?" The dark haired girl asked.
"Any takers?" The taller one added "…No? I PICK YOU!" The tall girl grabbed Joe's arm, flung him into the toboggan and yelled "OFF YOU GO!" Before giving the toboggan a push.
Whilst this was all happening, quite a few things were running through Joe's mind, and they were as follows…
"No way in HECK am I going to volunteer to go down THAT hill. Not in a million years, never ever. I would never even set foot in that toboggan, not when we're at the top of THIS monstrosity. Wait, why is she looking at me like that? She's touching my arm… Why… What on earth? I'm in the sled. I could've SWORN I thought to myself about 15 seconds ago that I would never do this. Off I go? Why, wherever am I going? OH CRAP! NO I DON'T WANT TO! NOOOOOO!"
And off he went. The other two brothers looked on in dismay as they watched Joe flail in the sled as he began to embark on what may be his last sled ride ever.
Their thought processes were much easier to follow.
"Thank GOD that's not me. I\m much too handsome to die today."

"I wonder what a unicorn sandwiche would taste like? Posivitely delightful I assume! I am going to make one if we get home for dinner!"

Meanwhile, the two girls and two remaining boys watched as Joe attempted to stay alive on the journey down. They all cringed as he dodged a giant rock, which he missed by a hair. They watched as he took a sharp turn to the left, then swerved back to the right, then went over a bump in the road and was launched into the air momentarily. They watched through their fingers as he came back down to the ground, and they knew that he had to have just taken a nasty spill. They waited, and waited, but they never saw Joe's figure recover and stand back up again.

Several minutes went by, and even the girls were beginning to get slightly worried. The darker haired girl glanced slightly over the younger looking brother's shoulder as she began her inner monologue,

"Shoot, I hope he is okay. I didn't want him to die, he was the best looking one out of the three!"

She snapped back to reality as someone suggested, "We should go look for him!"

Everyone nodded in agreement, and Kevin lifted two fingers to his mouth and whistled, beckoning a large, majestic, winged, beige coloured hippopotamus, who flew down from the sky and landed beside him.

"This is my pet hippo, Café au Lait." Explained Kevin.

"Hello Café au Lait, Café au Lait's owner, and Café Au Lait's owner's brother," Said the taller girl, " My name is Kirsten. And this is my friend Alex." She motioned to the other girl, who casually waved.

"My name is Nick, and this is my Kevin…." Stumbled Nick. He was a little caught off guard by the sound of Kirsten's name. It was a surprisingly stunning name.

"Oh, you two aren't brothers then? My mistake I'm awfully sorry I didn't realize you two were-" Kirsten started,
"Huh? NO, no. I Kevin IS my brother."
"…Ew?" Alex remarked, disgusted.
"What? OH! NO! Kevin is my brother, NOT my lover. I'm not sure why I said 'my' Kevin." Nick explained. "Wow. They think I'm an idiot. A gay, incestual idiot." Nick thought to himself.
Kevin just stood there feeding Café au Lait jube jubes, not paying an ounce of attention.
"Anyways…" Kirsten continued, "Should we go make sure your brother is still alive then?"
"I'll just take my flying hippo down to give him a little looksy." Kevin said with a smirk. "I can take one other passenger. Either of you two want to join m-"
"ME!" Alex finished, and answered his question at the same time.
Kevin gracefully leaped upon the hippopotamus, while Alex struggled her way up. Nick, Kevin and Kirsten all gave her a look.
"…Jeez, sorry. I've never had to straddle a Hippo before, give me a break…" Alex said.

"Never EVER?" Asked Nick, in disbelief.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"REALLY Great," Nick thought to himself again, "Now they think I'm a gay incestual idiot who likes to straddle freaking swamp animals for fun!"

He looked up and noticed that Kirsten was watching him and giggling, His cheeks transititioned through about 6 different shades of red.

Kevin kicked the ground and the hippo took off into the sky, hovering above the others. Alex sat in the rear, arms wrapped around kevin's torso and clearly mesmerized by the whole situation, and they lurched forwards as Café Au lait took a nose dive and flew towards the bottom of the mountain ledge where Joe had disappeared.

MEANWHILE….

Joe felt himself falling. He couldn't see a thing. He opened his eyes to try and fix this, but nothing changed. Everything was black. He couldn't even see the shiny sterling ring which normally glistened on his finger with pride. He was racing at top speed downward through what appeared to be air. It was the weirdest sensation, and he swore he could hear somebody cackling. He looked above him, and finally there was a sight to be seen! He saw a bright white circular light, getting smaller and smaller as he continued to fal farther and farther away. Had he fallen down a bottomless pit? He wondered, was he ever going to stop falling and hit something? Was this the end of the world? Was this the end of the universe? Or was he going to run into some wise philosopher who was going to answer all of his burning questions?

"Joe wake up" Kevin said for about the shfifty fifth time. Café au Lait slobbered on Joe's face and he opened his eyes. Turns out, the sled had crashed… Crashed sounds like to strong a word. The sled had stopped moving, and Joe had gotten bored and simply taken a nap on the hill.
"Venomous Moth? Pffft I freaking fell asleep, this hill is so tame." Joe said proudly. He looked up and noticed Alex was watching him, and so, like any egotistical male, he began to flex his muscles and rant about how great he is. He was cut off however, when he almost tripped doing a lunge, kicking the Jonas toboggan by mistake. It sped down the hill right into a wood chipper.
"Well… So much for that." Alex said.
"Huh? What just happened?" Kevin asked as he was once again distracted. Joe snatched the jube jubes from Kevin and Café au Lait grunted unhappily.
The three of them boarded the hippo and flew down to the wood chipper to investigate.
It was a sad site indeed. The toboggan was no more. They decided to hold a brief funeral for it, in which Kevin insisted on being the priest.
"A priest really isn't necessary at a funeral, you know" Joe tried to explain, but Kevin would just not listen to any of Joe's jibber jabber. When the funeral was over, Joe picked up the only remains of the toboggan… A single woodchip painted aquamarine.
The three once again took off on Café au Lait to the top of the hill to find Kirsten and Nick.