Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Summary: Embittered by the Second War and death, Remus Lupin goes to bed on Christmas Eve, only to be awakened by three spirits. They show him moments from Christmases past, present and future. But will Remus listen and learn from them, or is he destined for loneliness and despair?
A/N: I wanted to write a Christmas fic about our favorite werewolf, and I didn't think this concept had been used with him before. Merry Christmas!
It was late Christmas Eve when Remus Lupin decided to go to bed. His house wasn't anything exciting: one small room, a bathroom and a kitchen. Dumbledore and Harry had offered him Grimmauld Place after Sirius had died, but, like Harry, Remus couldn't bear to live there. In fact, other than the most important Order meetings, he rarely stepped foot into the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. Harry had once told him that when it was all over, he would sell it.
Remus tossed the half-empty bottle of Old Ogden's Firewhiskey into the cupboard and recast his Warming Charms on the room before climbing into bed. He did not like to leave the fire lit while he slept
He sighed wearily as he pulled the covers over his tired body. Anyone who spent time with him knew that, though he hadn't lost his gentle spirit, Remus had grown bitter and no longer had the usual glint in his eye. He tried to be supportive for Harry and the other youngsters, but even they knew their favorite professor had lost his way.
The werewolf tossed and turned a few times, as was usual, before settling into a comfortable sleep. Before succumbing, he reverently thanked the gods for the full moon being three full weeks after Christmas.
After falling into a fitful sleep, Remus awoke when his clock struck midnight. The first thing he noticed in his stupor was that his fire had somehow rekindled itself; the second thing he noticed was that Sirius Black was standing in front of the fire.
"I've gone mad," Remus mumbled, rubbing his tired eyes.
"You haven't gone mad, Moony," Sirius said. "Stop being so dramatic."
He turned to his old friend. "It seems as though you've forgotten who you are, Remus, and you've got to right yourself so that you can become who you're destined to be.
"Tonight, you'll be visited by three spirits. They are coming to teach you; to show you important things. Listen to them so you can find your way again."
"Wait a moment," Remus said. "This is like that Muggle story, A Christmas Carol."
Sirius shrugged. "If you say so," he said apathetically. "Rest now. Your first visitor will be here in an hour."
Before Remus could respond, Sirius was gone. He scratched his head dumbly. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that fruitcake so late," he muttered before turning over to go back to sleep.
Though it felt like only moments, it was exactly one hour later when Remus was awakened again, this time by something fluttering under his nose. He swatted at it, whatever it was, barely grazing it with his fingers. He sniffled as he hand fell limply onto his chest. Someone laughed softly at him, as he heard the fluttering again.
His eyes flew open, and he instantly grasped his wand and pointed it at the intruder as he sat up. He blinked his eyes in confusion as he stared at the person seated at the foot of his bed.
"Harry?" he questioned. Why wasn't Harry tucked safely away at Grimmauld Place?
"Moony, for heaven's sake, lower your wand," said the man with unruly black hair. "It's me, James."
"Prongs?" Remus asked, his heart pounding in his chest. "What's happening? Who are you?" he demanded, not lowering his wand.
"It's me, Remus," the man called James replied. "Don't worry; I'm just a spirit." His voice was calm and confident.
"Let me guess," Remus said, amused. "Spirit of Christmas past?"
"Yes," James replied. He checked his watch. "Time to go; we're barely on schedule."
James pocketed the golden Snitch he'd set about in the room and waited for Remus to stand.
"Where are we going?" Remus asked, sliding his feet into a pair of ragged slippers.
James smirked at him. "To Hogwarts, of course." He snapped his fingers, and at once they were in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory.
Remus saw his twelve-year-old self lying on his bed, sobbing softly. The door opened, and two other boys entered, tossing their schoolbags onto the floor and talking loudly.
The tall skinny boy, James, was first to notice frail-looking Remus in bed and signaled to the other boy, who had thick, black hair. Sirius strode over to Remus' bed and sat down.
"Er… Remus?" he asked uncertainly. "Are you okay, mate?"
"Yeah," young James said. "Christmas holidays start tomorrow. We'll have the whole dorm to ourselves."
Young Remus sat up, wiping his eyes and nose. "I can't stay. I have to go home," he pouted.
"Again?" Sirius asked. He ran his hand through his hair impatiently. "Your mum's sick again, isn't she?"
Remus nodded as another fat tear rolled down his cheek.
"Aw, that's rotten luck, mate," James said, patting the boy's shoulder. "I hope she's better by Christmas Day."
"But I wanted to stay with you guys," Remus said with a sniffle.
"Your mum needs you, Remus," James said.
"Yeah, and we'll owl you lots," Sirius said. "We promise."
Older James gripped Remus' shoulder and smiled. "It was over that break that Sirius and I figured out why you were gone so much," he said. "It was then that we decided to never leave you and do whatever we could for you."
"For that, I was always grateful," Remus said with a wistful smile. "When you stuck by me, knowing what I was, I knew that having real friends was the best thing in the world."
Suddenly, the room changed, and they were no longer in the second-year dormitory; they were in the sixth year dormitory.
"Wait," Remus said. "This isn't…" His voice trailed off in awe.
"Just watch," James said softly.
Before them, four boys sat, laughing loudly. Remus saw his sixteen-year-old self peering at the Maurader's Map.
"We're clear," young Remus said. "Dorm's empty."
"I'm so glad we all decided to stay over Christmas holidays," James said. "It's the perfect time to practice."
"You first, Peter," Remus said. "Just remember to concentrate." He smiled encouragingly at the timid boy before him.
Peter stood in the middle of the room and slowly transformed into a plump, grey rat. He quickly changed back to the cheers of his friends.
"Well done, Peter!" Remus exclaimed, clapping. "I knew you could do it!"
Peter beamed at the other three boys before James said, "Me next!"
He took over the center of the room, and a few moments later, a large stag was clopping his hooves in excitement on the wood floor.
Next, Sirius transformed into a large, black shaggy dog. The other boys laughed as Sirius chased his tail.
When he changed back, James said. "So, we're all ready for the full moon tomorrow night, then." The other three nodded animatedly.
"Gentlemen, Hogwarts is at our feet," Sirius said. "Let the adventures begin."
They laughed, as older James spoke again.
"You were the glue that held the Mauraders together, Moony," he said. "Devious enough for Sirius; smart enough for me; and patient enough for Peter. You're the best of us all." He smiled at his friend once more.
"Come on," he said. "We've got to get back." He snapped his fingers again, returning them to Remus' house.
"Remember, Moony," James said. "Two more visitors. I reminded you of how it was in the beginning, with people who loved you. Hold onto that as the night continues."
Remus was about to ask whom the next spirit would be, but James disappeared. He fell back onto his bed and was almost asleep when someone shook him. Remus groaned and sat up.
"What now?" he asked.
He opened his eyes and locked gazes with Draco Malfoy.
"You!" he cried in disbelief.
"Fancy that, Lupin," Draco sneered. "Get up; let's not waste time."
Just as James had done, Draco snapped his fingers, and Remus found himself standing in the second floor hall of Grimmauld Place.
"Go on, then," Draco ordered. "Open a door."
Remus glanced up and down the hallway before deciding on a door. It was the door to Sirius' old room. He quietly opened the door and entered the room.
Draco followed, but Remus ignored him. He was more focused on the figure lying prone on the bed. Harry was sobbing softly into the pillow.
"Harry?" Remus started towards him, but Draco's cold hand on his arm stopped him.
"He can't hear you, Lupin," Draco said. "We're merely observers."
Remus watched as Harry continued to cry forlornly, no doubt remembering last Christmas, his last quality time with his godfather.
"He's cried himself to sleep every night since coming back to this awful house," Draco said.
"I had no idea," Remus said sadly.
"How could you?" Draco mocked. "Have you been there for him since Black died? No, you've been selfishly retreating into yourself."
"I can't watch this," Remus said, turning away. "Please take me away."
Draco shrugged. "As you wish."
He snapped his fingers again, and they were in another room, the sitting room. Ron and Hermione were cuddling in the dark on the sofa.
"Guess this is why Potter was in his room alone," Draco snorted. Remus glared at him and stepped forward towards the two teenagers.
"Did you hear?" Ron said. "Snape's actually coming tomorrow."
"I know," Hermione said thoughtfully. "But what about Professor Lupin?"
Ron shrugged. "I know Mum invited him, but…. Who knows if he'll come?"
"Dumbledore's really worried about him," Hermione said. "We all are."
"I know, love," Ron said, stroking back her bushy hair. "I only hope Christmas helps."
Remus turned back to see Draco watching him solemnly.
"See, Lupin?" the blond boy sneered. "They all care about you. I have no idea why, but they do."
"But they needn't worry about me," Remus said. "There's more to be concerned with."
"I know that," Draco said. "But they still do." He paused. "Ready to go?"
"We're going back?" Remus asked hopefully.
"Nope," he replied. "One more stop."
Draco snapped his fingers once more, and Remus' eyes widened in realization of where they were.
Fifteen-year-old Ginny Weasley sat in her bed, writing furiously on a Christmas card.
"Now that's what I call a winter beauty," Draco said smugly. "Why haven't I noticed the littlest Weasley this year? She's certainly grown… and in all the right places."
Remus scowled at his former student. "You'd do well to remember your manners, Mr. Malfoy," he said. "She's a lovely young woman, yes, but she's also a lady. You should treat her as such."
Draco rolled his eyes. "I see the werewolf has a soft spot for the redheaded chit," he muttered.
Remus ignored him and walked forward to read Ginny's writing over her shoulder.
Dear Professor Lupin,
I hope to see you Christmas Day, but if I don't, I wanted to wish you a Happy Christmas. I know you've been sad lately, but I hope that you will remember that the Order and Harry need you. We all do. We miss you, and I wish that you would be your old self again.
Much love,
Ginny Weasley
Remus felt his heart surge in emotion at the innocent words from the young girl.
"Even the Chamber-girl cares for you," Draco said.
"Don't call her that!" Remus snapped. "She's been through enough without you antagonizing her."
"She'll go through a lot more before it's all over," Draco said thoughtfully.
"What do you mean?" Remus asked, glancing back at Ginny. "What's going to happen to her?"
"I can't tell you, Lupin," Draco replied with a sigh. "It's not my place."
Draco checked his watch, as Remus stepped over to stroke Ginny's hair.
"Don't!" Draco warned. "We have to go."
Remus started to argue, but Draco snapped his fingers, returning them to the house.
"Get ready for your last visitor," Draco barked. "Good night, Lupin."
Remus sank into his chair and put his head in his hands. He hated to think of Harry so sad and alone, missing Sirius. He was suddenly sorry he hadn't spent more time with the boy. But now, he was also faced with Draco's cryptic statement about Ginny.
He shook it off and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. He had just dozed off when he felt a small hand on his knee.
He woke and looked into a pair of big, innocent, brown eyes.
"Who're you?" Remus asked.
"I'm your last visitor," the young girl said.
She couldn't have been more than seven or eight years old, and she had long, wavy brown hair, with red tones through it. She was dressed in a long, white nightgown. She was quite a pretty little girl, and Remus thought she looked vaguely familiar.
"Do you have a name?" Remus asked, taking her offered hand.
"No," she said.
Remus cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Do I know you in the future?"
The young girl shrugged her shoulders. "You're meant to, but if you continue down the path you're on now, you won't," she explained.
She snapped her fingers and transported them to a darkened alley.
Remus could hear the hustle and bustle of people behind him on the main road, but the girl led him further into the alley instead. She paused several feet from a cowering figure next to some boxes.
A man, clad in tattered and mildewing robes was weakly swigging from a bottle of Firewhiskey. He mumbled incoherently to himself, laughing maniacally.
A shop owner came into the alley, waving his wand.
"Go!" the man called. "Get out of here, you drunken fool!"
"Happy bloody Christmas to you, too!" the drunken man yelled back, stumbling to his feet.
He looked this way and that before pulling the hood of his cloak back. He was quite old, with white hair and sad, sunken eyes. Remus gasped as he looked into the face of the man.
"That's me!" he gasped. The young girl nodded sadly next to him.
Drunken Remus tripped and trod up the alley to the main road. He made his way up the main road of Hogsmeade to the Shrieking Shack, his two followers close behind.
Remus pulled and yanked at the gates to the Shack, but to no avail. He slumped down into a snow bank and began to cry.
Remus watched in shock as he saw his intoxicated self fall over and pass out in the snow.
"What's happened to me?" he asked the young girl.
"You made the wrong choices," she replied. "You shut yourself off from anyone who cared for you, and in the end, you had no one left."
"And if I'd made different choices, I'd know you?" he asked.
"Yes," the girl replied earnestly. "I'd have been your daughter."
Remus couldn't believe his ears and knelt down next to the child, looking into her eyes and taking her hands.
"What?" he asked in a whisper.
"I'm your daughter," she replied. "Or I could have been."
"But how… who's your mother?" he asked in awe.
"I can't tell you," she replied.
"But what happened to her?" Remus demanded. "Why aren't you part of this future?"
"My mother offered you love and companionship, but you rejected her," she said sadly. "You were too selfish and refused to let anyone help you or love you."
"What happened to her?" Remus asked.
"I don't know," the girl said. "But we can't stay here. We have somewhere else to be."
She snapped her fingers, and Remus saw that they were now in the Burrow. Only instead of feeling warm and cozy, it was cold and rundown.
The girl led Remus to the kitchen where a middle-aged woman was fussing over a man with long grey hair. The man had the look of someone who was once vibrant and attractive, but now he was hollow and peaky.
"George, don't you want some Christmas pudding?" the woman asked. The man didn't answer; he merely stared into space, not focusing on any one object or location.
The woman turned, and Remus could see that, though her skin had lost its rosy pallor, it was Ginny Weasley. She spooned some pudding into a bowl and sat down at the table next to George.
She tried to feed some pudding to him, but George could barely open his mouth.
Ginny sighed and set the bowl down. Unable to stop herself, she took George's hand in hers and started to cry.
"I'm sorry, George," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I can't take better care of you. I know you miss Fred and everyone. I miss them too, but can't you try and get better for me?"
George didn't answer, and Remus turned to the young girl.
As if reading his mind, she said, "They're the only Weasleys left. Everyone else died in the War. The Order was one warrior short, and the Death Eaters captured them. George was forced to watch his twin die, and in the end, he went mad. Ginny wasn't home at the time, and when George was discarded by the Death Eaters, she took care of him."
"But where's Harry?" Remus asked. "Why wasn't he there to save them?"
"You want to see Harry?" the girl asked, and Remus nodded. "I'll take you to him."
Snapping her fingers again, she took them to a darkened cemetery.
"I know this place," Remus said. "It's where James and Lily are buried. Is Harry visiting them?"
The girl didn't answer; she just pointed to a gravestone in the distance.
Remus hurried off to the stone and, upon seeing the name on it, fell to the ground in tears.
"No!" he cried. "Please, no!"
"I'm sorry," the girl said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You were supposed to be his back-up. He waited for you before going to defeat Voldemort. But you never came, so he went alone. He killed Voldemort, but a Death Eater cursed him in the back straight after."
"Please, take me back," Remus begged. "I don't want to see anymore."
The girl pulled him around to face her. "Nothing is set in stone," she said. "This is the future that will be if you continue down the path you've chosen. But if you right your course, you can alter what is to come."
"Please, just take me back," Remus pleaded.
"As you wish," the girl said sadly and lightly kissed his cheek.
She snapped her fingers, returning Remus to his flat. He looked up for the girl, but she wasn't there. Once again, Remus was left alone.
He returned to his bed, pulling the covers over his head. He tried to sleep, but the horrible images of what he'd just seen were too fresh in his mind.
After two hours, he gave up on sleep and got dressed. As he sat down to a breakfast of stale toast and the rest of his Firewhiskey, an owl tapped on his window. He let the bird in and untied the note from its leg. He opened it, reading Ginny's letter for the second time.
Suddenly, the young girls' words echoed in his brain. "But if you right your course, you can alter what is to come."
Remus sprang to his feet and spelled the alcohol to disappear. He hurried to the closet, searching for his travelling cloak. He found it, donned it and quickly Apparated to Grimmauld Place.
Upon entering the dingy old house, Remus was met with festive smiles and hugs from everyone. Molly dried her eyes after saying, profusely, how happy she was that he'd come. Even young Ginny gingerly accepted the hug from her former Professor, as he whispered thanks in her ear for the letter.
After watching everyone open gifts and packages, Remus pulled Harry aside.
"Harry, I'm sorry I haven't been there for you," Remus said, gripping the younger boy's shoulder.
"It's okay," Harry mumbled. "I know I'm not the only one missing him."
"But I need to be there for you," Remus insisted. "And I promise, from now on, I'll always will be, no matter what. Do you hear me?"
"Yes," Harry said happily. "Thanks, Remus."
Remus smiled at him before turning somber again. "When you feel like it, I have some things of Sirius' that you might like to have."
"That'd be brilliant," Harry said.
"Happy Christmas, Harry," Remus said, hugging the boy.
As they pulled apart, Remus caught the eye of Ginny Weasley. She smiled at him, her whole face lighting up, especially her eyes.
Remus returned her smile, remembering the future he'd seen for her. He vowed to himself that he wouldn't let that happen. The girl returned to laughing and talking with her family, and suddenly Remus remembered the eyes of the young girl last night. They had the same eyes.
Remus remembered the girl saying her mother had offered him love and companionship only to be rejected. Surely, her mother wasn't… Ginny? On the one hand, Remus thought to himself, he would never fall into a relationship with someone so young. But on the other hand, why should he deny himself the love of someone so kind and wonderful?
Remus shook that preposterous thought from his head as he helped himself to some eggnog.
Remus Lupin enjoyed himself that day. For the first time in a long time he smiled genuinely and laughed like he'd never forgotten how, and somewhere, the spirits who'd visited him, smiled to each other, knowing they'd helped someone so lost find his way again.