What a beautiful mess
Remus stood in the dingy kitchen of Grimmauld Place, waiting impatiently for the water in the kettle to boil. He leaned heavily against the dark wooden kitchen table and tried to ignore the loud sound of his own breathing.
However he didn't succeed and the heavy silence of the rest of the house added up to his nervousness, for even the burning wood in the oven seemed to have gone mute.
Sirius hadn't spoken to him since yesterday's incident. Harry had made a fire-call to question them on what he had seen when he had looked in Snape's pensieve. Sirius, against all expectations Remus might have had, had stayed unusual calm about the whole situation, while they both tried to explain their and James's behaviour. But after Harry had to leave the fireplace Sirius still stayed quiet and withdrawn. Sitting at the opposite end of the table, his face hadn't given anything away about his thoughts.
Remus should have known better, than to inquire right then.
"Is this bothering you at all? " Remus asked Sirius quietly, who seemed to have his eyes glued to a spot somewhere above Remus's head.
"What
do you mean exactly?" said Sirius in a wooden and hollow voice,
eyes still firmly on that spot. "Does it bother me, that my
godson saw how we treated Snape? Or maybe does it bother me more that
he comes to me to get an explanation about his father, of whom he
thought until this day like some kind of saint. Or does it bother me
that I might actually be this horrible person the whole Wizarding
World thinks me to be and deserved to rot away in Azkaban for twelve
years of my live, because I should have known better? I don't know,
maybe it is just the fact that I'm still alive, and again rot away in
a prison, because I truly am a bastard and coward, and of no use as
well. But thanks for asking; I really needed a willing ear to whine
about my fucking excuse for a life." Sirius ended sarcastically,
breathing ragged after his outburst. For endless moments neither of
them said a word, until Sirius couldn't bear it any longer.
He
jumped out of his seat. "FUCK YOU, REMUS!" he cried,
sounding more like an aggressive dog than anything. In the next
moment he was standing right in front of Remus, their faces only
inches apart, arms resting on either side of his chair.
"You still think me to be the boy, who sent Snape to the Shrieking Shack, don't you!?" at the moment the words had left his mouth, he knew he had crossed the line, but made no move to say anything else.
The hurt must have shown clearly on Remus's face. Though whether the words Sirius had spoken were the reason of it, or the brought back memory of the incident, Remus himself couldn't even tell.
"And you still think me to be the boy who forgave you." Remus simply said, pushing Sirius gently away from him. Sirius didn't stop him as he made his way to the door out of the kitchen.
Now the kitchen was empty again except of him, and the water had already started to boil over, flooding the kitchen.
Remus however didn't clean up the mess, but ran out of the room in a rush.