Standards, a soul eater fanfic

Standards

The battle was over.

Spirit couldn't believe it.

The battle. Was finally. Over.

And all because of his darling little Maka. His heart swelled with pride for her. He smiled a smile of infinite peace. All was right in the world.

For now.

"Cigarette?"

A very familiar voice broke through his thoughts. The two of them were leaning on a balcony, overlooking Death City. It was in shambles, but still surviving. They would rebuild. The laughing sun was starting to fall asleep, ending one of the worst days in his life.

He looked over at one of his meisters. Stein. He was standing there beside him, holding out a cigarette patiently. Spirit took it gratefully. The battle high was starting to wear off, and he knew he would be shaking soon. The cigarette would help.

Stein leaned a little closer to Spirit, and Spirit lit his cigarette off of Stein's. They pulled back, each taking deep drags, spending a moment in silence.

"I can't believe I let you get me hooked on this bad habit." Spirit said, looking at the cigarette between his fingers.

Stein laughed, turning his screw twice clockwise.

"We both know cigarettes aren't going to be what kills you, so what's the harm." He replied.

Spirit couldn't argue with that.

"So what happens now?" Spirit asked.

Stein took a drag on his cigarette, blowing out a little skull shaped puff of smoke.

"We go back to normalcy. I go back to experimenting and you go back to womanizing and partying."

Spirit scowled at that. Stein noticed the reaction, tipping his head at his friend.

"What did I say?"

Spirit flicked at the cigarette between his fingers.

"I don't like being known as a womanizer." He muttered.

Stein laughed, before grinning his mad little grin.

"Oh please. You never minded in school. And right now it's just the two of us. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not."

Spirit froze at Stein's words. He crushed the cigarette up in his hand, ignoring the sting of pain in his palm. Stein watched this strange display in silence. The two of them stood there, Stein watching Spirit, Spirit looking at his hand intently. Several minutes passed in complete silence.

"Stein." Spirit finally broke the silence. "Do you ever feel like you're someone who isn't, you?" His voice shook as he spoke.

Stein contemplated his words for a few minutes.

Crank.

Counter clockwise this time.

"Yes." He replied simply. "I know the feeling quite well."

Spirit finished crumbling the cigarette in his palm, before letting the ash and tobacco specks fall hundreds of feet to the street below. He watched it float down for moment before turning to face Stein directly. He stuck his hands deep into his pants pockets, his shoulders hunching over a bit.

"You mentioned before that it's just the two of us up here Stein. And that I can just be myself." He looked into Stein's eyes, bright blue meeting murky green. "I know we used to be very close in the Academy. And we are still close friends. But I've… I've never told you something. And now I want to tell you."

Stein's curiosity was piqued. When they had been in the Academy together, nothing was secret between them. They were best friends, never mind meister and weapon. It was incredibly hard to hide any sort of secret from each other. They always told each other everything, talking late into the night often. Spirit would talk about his latest conquest and Stein would discuss his latest research and dissections.

"You can tell me anything Spirit." He took a drag of his cigarette. "Or you don't have to tell me anything. Whatever you want."

Spirit wasn't entirely sure why he needed to talk about this now. Maybe because of Stein's words earlier, maybe because he was still feeling the battle high, maybe because the world was being born anew and he wanted to be a part of it. Whatever it was, he knew he had to talk about it right now. He couldn't keep it in any more.

Spirit turned back to lean over the railing again, looking at his clasped hands in front of him.

"I hate being known as a womanizer, because, that's not what I am. I know I act that way. I know I have been with many women and I am a regular at the local brothel. But that's… That's just not who I really am." He took a deep breath in, looking straight forward intensely as his mind was brought back to his past.

"I grew up in a very strict family. They were loving enough, but strict. They were all three star meisters and weapons, with high ranking jobs all over the world. That's what was expected of me. Which I didn't mind. I looked up to them. I wanted to be as good as them, if not better. That's why I worked so hard at the Academy. But… They had other standards too. They were like those cold pictures of family you see when you buy a frame, and it comes with a picture? Perfect. They had their standards. And… From a young age, I didn't entirely fit into one of their most important standards. I never played with girls like the other little boys did. I never tugged their hair or threw mud at them; you know, childish flirting. I always played with boys. They were the ones I-I played with. Like that… My family noticed. Especially my mother. And from the time I was five every day would be the same lecture. We had an obligation. We had standards. Only women and men are meant to be together. I had an obligation to someday find a good wife and have children. Men together were… Were an abomination. I heard this same speech over and over and over… When I was twelve, they found a boy's name in my journal. He was our neighbor. I liked his soft voice and big brown eyes. After that, the speeches grew more violent. They… They would beat me as they told me what I was becoming was an abomination… Told me they would throw me out. Told me I would never become a respectable weapon. Told me I would burn for my sins. Told me I was disgusting…" Spirit was trembling at this point in his retelling. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, to keep tears from spilling out.

"And I tried so hard to fit their standards. I wanted to be the perfect son they so desperately wanted. I tried so, so hard. But I always felt the same. Girls just… Never appealed to me. Right before I went to the Academy, my parents sent my uncle to teach me a lesson. They thought they could beat the imperfections out of me, and they tried. I went to the hospital after he visited. They told the nurses I had fallen down the stairs. They believed them. Who wouldn't believe such perfect parents?" he laughed humorlessly.

"So when I finally got to the Academy, I was determined to be their perfect son. I wasn't sure what would happen if I didn't turn out that way, so I tried so hard… I became a womanizer. I put on this, mask." He rubbed his face, as if he could feel it physically on his face. "I put it on, and no one even noticed. Girls and women alike loved me. I am so charming after all." He said with a grin that didn't seem quite right. "Then Maka's mother came along. Kami." He sighed.

"She was it. The perfect wife for the perfect son, to make another perfect little family. I charmed her like all the rest. I was so used to going through the motions. It sounds so cold and callous when I say it like that… I truly did care for Kami. As a friend. I thought I could stand to be with her for a lifetime. It was even easier when we became weapon and meister. My parents were thrilled of course. An Academy elite, a meister that made me into a Death Scythe. A beautiful, intelligent, and brave woman. She was perfect. They finally called me their son again, for the first time in years… When we had Maka, it was the happiest day of my life. Even happier than the day I became a Death Scythe. And my parents were ecstatic. We were young parents sure, but Maka was proof I had been… Cured, of my, affliction. So they thought. They hugged me on that day. The first time they had touched me without intent of pain since I was twelve." Spirit sniffled, feeling the tears spilling over. He wiped at them angrily.

"The mask was permanently screwed on by then. I didn't want it to come off. I was afraid by then, what I would even be without that mask. But Kami was too smart. She knew something was wrong. Something I wasn't telling her. And instead of telling her, instead of talking about it, I spent my time with other women. Other women who couldn't see through the cracks in my mask. Other women who wouldn't make me question who I even was. And that was it for Kami. And now we are divorced. And yet I still go around, chasing after women. Even after my parents are long dead and gone, I fear being what they most hated."

He leaned back from the railing, his head felling light. He had never told anyone any of that. He wasn't sure what Stein would say or do. But he felt… Lighter. A huge weight lifted from his chest, even as he felt terrified. He was afraid to even look at his friend. A few minutes passed in silence, and Spirit stared intently at his hands. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He turned to face Stein, his jaw set, prepared for the worst.

Stein was looking straight at him. His cigarette was dangling from his mouth, wisps of smoke rising from it.

Crank.

Clockwise this time.

"I never knew that about you Spirit. I wish I had." He finally said.

Spirit's eyes narrowed and his shoulders hunched over more. "What, so you could have chosen someone else for a friend and weapon? Someone, better?" he retorted.

Stein tipped his head at Spirit.

"No. So I could have shared your burden. So I could have helped you better."

Spirit felt his heart pang hard at those words. That wasn't what he was expecting at all. The hardness in his face relaxed. Before he could figure out what to say to that, Stein continued.

"I know exactly how you feel. I come from a simple family. I wasn't the son they wanted either. Really, who wants a mad scientist for a son." He said with a little mad laugh. "I was curious from the start, which they accepted. But when they found I had dissected the family cat at age four, they threw me out of the house. I think I scared them." Stein recounted his tale with a cold voice. But Spirit noticed the slight tremble of his cigarette. "I bounced from home to home. I tried to be someone who I wasn't, so someone would keep me. The scars." He tapped his cheek where one such scar curved. "I experimented on myself because I wanted to be normal. I wanted the madness out of me. I wanted to be loved and kept. I thought perhaps I could cut it out... But the madness would always break through, and it always frightened them, and I would have to leave. It was only once I was at the Academy that I could be who I was – within reason – and not be thrown out." Stein's glasses flashed as he looked at Spirit. "You help with that. You helped keep me on the right side of reason and not fall completely into madness."

The two men stood there, staring at each other. They had opened their broken hearts to each other, revealing themselves. They had taken off age old masks. Especially Spirit, he had never revealed such things to anyone. And he couldn't imagine telling anyone else but Stein.

"I wish you would have told me sooner. So you didn't have to be someone you aren't for so long." Stein finally said.

Spirit sighed, looking down at his feet. "I don't."

Stein tipped his head and Spirit looked up to meet his eyes again.

"If I had been myself, I never would have become a Death Scythe. I never would have had Maka." He sighed. "Maka. She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I know she practically hates me for what I did to her mother. And I wish I could explain… But… I don't think that would help. I would still be a liar, and the cause of the divorce." Spirit smiled for the first time, a small and loving smile. "Maka was the best thing that came of that mask. She doesn't realize it, but she is so precious to me. She… She's my everything Stein. I know you can't understand since you aren't a parent… But Maka is my whole world. I'm so very proud of her. And, I don't mind that she hates me and makes no secret of it. It means I did a far better job of being a parent than my parents did. She's able to be completely herself, speak her mind, do what she wants, be who she wants to be. And that's all I ever really wanted for her. Hell, I don't even complain that she lives with that cocky son of a bitch Soul. Even though I would totally Death Scythe him if he ever touched my Maka." He added, that protective father voice coming out. He shrugged. "So no. I don't wish I told you sooner. I needed Maka. She doesn't need me. She never has, and she probably won't ever. But I needed her. And I would go through all that again if it meant having her."

Stein reached out and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I, understand. Mostly. I wish I could help now though."

Spirit looked at Stein beside him. He was suddenly closer. His scarred hand on his shoulder felt electric. Spirit chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head.

"Stein. I don't think you would be able to help."

Stein's hand suddenly gripped his shoulder harder, forcing Spirit to face him directly. Stein's glasses flashed and he grinned. "Are you so sure Spirit?"

Spirit's eyes went wide. Stein's hand felt like it was pumping electricity through him. His heart rate went up. He desperately tried to hide his reaction to this simple touch and action. He stared at Stein, not sure what was happening.

Stein laughed, cranking his screw as he did. "Oh come on now Spirit. I know you aren't a scientist like me, but isn't it obvious by now? I want you. I've wanted you since we were in the Academy together." Stein grinned at Spirit, glasses flashing. He used his free hand to take his cigarette out, throwing it to the ground and grinding it out with a heavy boot.

Spirit felt his breath hitch and his cheeks turn slightly pink. He never would have admitted it, but… He had wanted Stein for ages. Since he first laid eyes on him really. The intelligence and intensity in his green eyes, his solid and muscled build, his deep scars, his strong and sure hands… He had dreamed of them, only in the most private sectors of his mind. He had fantasies of the two of them… It had been hell to try and bury it all deep enough that Stein would never know when they had been paired together as weapon and meister. But now, it suddenly seemed his fantasies could become reality.

He wasn't sure this was really happening. The rest of the day had been so fantastical. Perhaps the whole day was just a dream? Perhaps he would wake up, alone in his bed, having to face the Kishin again for real?

Crank.

The sound broke him out of his thoughts. Stein was still gripping his shoulder tightly, the other hand on his screw. He was still grinning at him, eyes staring intently back at him.

"What are you thinking about Spirit? I don't know how you hadn't realized this before… I just never mentioned it because even I was convinced of your rampant heterosexuality. Do you really think I chose you for my weapon just because you were nice and good enough at what you did? You piqued a curiosity in me as I hadn't felt before with another person. But I learned soon enough that you wouldn't be interested in me like that – or so I thought. But as the years went on, I just couldn't help myself. That's why I did those experiments on you when you slept. I had to see what was beneath the polished suit. I had to feel your skin. I had to mark you as mine." Stein's voice grew deeper with each word, grin growing wider. His hands moved to grip Spirit by his suit lapels. "You know I am not a very patient man Spirit. I said I want you. What do you say to that?"

Spirit felt himself flush. He had never been able to express himself this way to a man. With women and his mask, it was so easy. But suddenly he was vulnerable. Completely who he was meant to be. And he wasn't used to it. And Stein was staring at him so intently. With those madly bright green eyes that used to torture him in his dreams…

Spirit grinned back. It suddenly made so much sense. The tension between them, the experiments, the feelings. He simply reached one hand around Stein's neck and did what he had dreamed of doing for years.

Their lips met in a sort of crashing motion. And as soon as they met, Spirit felt more from that simple contact than he ever had being with women. Even more than having sex with them. His hand curled around the nape of Stein's neck, pulling him closer. Stein gripped Spirit's lapels almost violently, nearly tearing them off as he tried to pull Spirit closer and closer. Their lips moved together, feeling this electric and intense sensation for the first time. Stein had had sex with both men and women alike before. Experimentation, you see. But it had never felt like this before. It usually felt like benign curiosity or simply releasing tension. But this went deeper… They kissed each other harder, craving more and more of these new feelings. Spirit was the first to dart his tongue out, desperate for a taste of Stein. Stein reciprocated eagerly, and they moaned together at the contact. Their mouths moved together, almost battling for dominance, till the two were out of breath. They pulled back a few inches to catch their breath, chests heaving. Spirit's hands were around the back of Stein's neck and on the small of his back. Stein was still clutching Spirit's lapels for dear life.

They stared at each other. Spirit's light blue eyes were wide and sparkling with the electricity still coursing through his body. Stein's bright green eyes were flashing with fire and need.

Spirit was the one to break the intense gaze, pulling Stein roughly after him. Stein followed willingly as Spirit led him off the roof. They went through the doors into the DWMA, going down a few corridors till Spirit pulled them into a room. Stein looked around, and it appeared to be some sort of little sitting room. There were light curtains on the window, a couch, a few chairs, and a coffee table. Spirit closed the door behind them and looked at Stein. His breathing was still irregular. Stein watched his lean chest rise and fall, and grinned. He grabbed Spirit by his shirt front, backing him quickly into the nearest wall. They ended up being near the window. Stein roughly pushed Spirit up against the wall, one hand snaking down his chest, the other resting on his narrow hips. Spirit let out a little moan at being handled so roughly. No woman had been able to throw him around. He was always the dominant one. It was a pleasant change that turned him on completely.

"I'm guessing you can tell I want you too." He finally said to Stein. He brought one hand up into Stein's white hair, grabbing it tightly. The other rested over Stein's thumping heart. Spirit looked at him seriously. "I hope you know I will always keep you. No matter who or what you experiment on. You can even experiment on me again."

Stein felt a fragile part of himself snap at that seemingly simple and humorous reassurance. No one had ever wanted to keep him… And here was the man he had dreamed of since he was a teenager, his best friend, saying he would never leave him. Even offering his body for experiments. And Stein was sure to do all sorts of experiments on him now…

"And to that, I say fuck the standards."

Spirit grinned, and pulled Stein's head roughly to his. Their lips moved against each other again, turning into a mess of teeth and tongues. Stein tugged at Spirit's shirt, pulling it out of its tucked position in his pants. Once it was free, he snaked a hand up it, feeling his perfectly smooth and taunt skin.

Spirit could feel his shirt riding up. The more Stein touched and kissed him, the more he needed. It was like Stein's touch was the most addictive substance on the planet. Like his touch could heal years of pain. Like his touch could completely wipe away his mask. And he needed it all.

Spirit grew impatient and moved his hands to unbutton his white dress shirt. He pulled his mouth from Stein's to take off his jacket and shirt. He took the opportunity to rip Stein's lab coat off, and his grey shirt over his head. Stein laughed.

"Someone is even more impatient than me I see." He growled. He grabbed Spirit's wrists, pinning them to the wall beside his head. Their bare chests grazed each other, and they both shivered at the contact. Stein forced his right leg between Spirit's, grinding their pelvic regions together. Stein groaned when he felt Spirit's bulge against his. His black pants felt far too tight and he wanted to be rid of them immediately. His mouth moved to Spirit's neck. He lavished it with kisses and licks, grinning against the skin when Spirit began to moan.

Spirit could feel his own member stiffening at Stein's kisses and touches. When Stein started paying special attention to his sensitive bare neck, he moaned loudly. He tipped his head left so he could have better access. His eyes fluttered shut at the sensations rolling threw him. His eyes snapped open and he gasped however when he felt a sharp pain of Stein's teeth on his neck. Stein bit him harshly, but sucked and licked the area to ease the pain. The pain lessened and turned surprisingly pleasant. Spirit moaned again, pushing into Stein's mouth. His hips bucked unintentionally, which only made Stein growl and work harder at his neck. After a few minutes of biting and sucking and licking, there was a positively enormous and beet red hickey on Spirit's neck. Stein pulled back to look at it proudly. He let go out Spirit's hands and grabbed his chin possessively.

"And I've marked you as mine again." He growled proudly, possessively.

Spirit grinned, gently rubbing the throbbing spot on his neck.

But there was a throbbing elsewhere that needed more attention right now. Blue met green and the question and answer passed between them wordlessly. Stein slowly, tortuously slid two hands down Spirit's bare chest, down to his black dress pants. He teased the sensitive skin along the top hem for a moment before reaching for the button. He unbuttoned and unzipped the pants in a second. They fell to the floor, revealing Spirit's white boxers with bright red hearts on them. Stein looked at them, amused. Spirit flushed a little.

"They are comfy." He defended.

Stein slowly lowered himself to the floor, till he was on his knees, eyes level with Spirit's bulging boxers. Spirit took in a sharp breath, leaning back against the wall. He couldn't believe this was happening…

Stein looked up at Spirit's face, glasses flashing as he grinned. He put two sure hands on Spirit's narrow hips. He brought his head forward till his lips met the silky material.

"I don't care how comfy they are. They are coming off now." He stated.

Gently, he gripped the hem of the boxers with his teeth and pulled them down till they fell to the floor on their own. Stein was greeted by a suddenly free and engorged cock. He licked his lips slowly, savoring the moment before. Spirit was already breathing irregularly. He entwined his hands in Stein's white hair, holding onto him tightly. Stein flicked his tongue out, tasting experimentally. Spirit moaned loudly, his knees feeling weak. He leaned back against the wall for support. Stein teased his for a moment, licking here and there, before he decided to relieve him. He took Spirit into his mouth, slowly, till he fit him entirely into his mouth. Spirit whimpered loudly, involuntarily bucking his hips into Stein's mouth. Stein moaned, sending vibrations through Spirit's cock. Spirit gasped, tightening his grip on Stein's hair.

Stein went about it slowly. Going up and down Spirit's shaft, from tip to base. He tightened his hold on Spirit's hips, helping with the momentum. Spirit got the cue and moved his hips forward and back into Stein's welcoming mouth. He started slowly, but after a few minutes, he simply couldn't take it. He began to move faster and faster. Stein kept up with him, adding a hand to rub at his base. All Spirit could feel was perfection. Warm, wet, fast, perfection… He saw the white head bobbing forward and back. He saw the screw shining in the soft sunlight coming in from the nearby window. He let on hand wander to it. He caressed it for a moment, before turning it for himself. He had never touched it before, and turning it was such a strange feeling. Stein himself moaned loudly, causing Spirit to buck his hips harder. Stein looked up from his ministrations, green eyes intense. His glasses flashed and he laughed from the back of his throat. And that was the end of it for Spirit. Spirit gasped and let out a loud groan, one hand tight in Stein's hair, the other turning his screw, as he came into Stein's mouth. Stein took the whole load easily, gulping it down like it was water and he was a dying man in the desert. Stein held onto Spirit's hips as he rode out his orgasm. Once he was finished, Stein licked every drop off of Spirit, licking his lips after. Spirit fell to the ground, falling into Stein's arms. They toppled to the ground together, the both of them holding each other tightly. They were both glistening with sweat. Spirit nuzzled against Stein's cheek. He tipped Stein's chin up, kissing him hard, tasting himself on Stein's lips.

"Well that was… Amazing." He breathed out.

Stein chuckled. He let his hands wander over Spirit's bare skin, memorizing all the narrow edges and slight curves. He wandered lower and lower till he gently cupped Spirit's bare ass. He kneaded it, groaning at the supple flesh. Spirit sighed at the touch, arms wrapped tightly around Stein's neck.

"I want you." Spirit whispered into his ear.

Stein pulled back, one eyebrow raised.

"Are you sure? We don't have to."

Spirit smiled at his best friend - well, lover now? – and caressed his scarred cheek gently. He paused on the deep scar and leaned in to kiss it.

"I'm positive. Think of it as our first experiment together." He said with a little laugh.

Stein smiled, placing a tender kiss on Spirit's lips.

"I love it when you turn my screw apparently. Feel free to do that again." He mentioned off handedly. Spirit laughed and gave him a little wink and nod.

The two of them moved to the large couch. Stein roughly pushed Spirit back onto the couch, hovering over him. They began to kiss passionately again, hands wandering over each other's bodies. Spirit tugged at his heavy black pants, pulling them down his hips. They both gasped as Stein's member was freed, springing up into the air. Spirit gently caressed it, and Stein shivered. Their mouths battled for a few more minutes, before Stein switched their positions. Stein got behind Spirit, and Spirit bent over in front of him. Stein saw the perfectly smooth and tan expanse of skin before him. He had to touch it. Mark it. Make him completely and utter his. Make him understand he fit Stein's standards just fine… His hands wandered over Spirit's back, caressing and pinching, till he reached his final destination. He put his hands on Spirit's hips again, holding him. He positioned himself at Spirit's entrance. He massaged Spirit's hips gently.

"Are you sure Spirit?"

Spirit knew what was about to happen would hurt. But he was a weapon. A Death Scythe. Pain had little meaning to him. He was used to pain. He knew what he would feel would pale in comparison to half the pain he had felt before. And pale even more to the emotional pain he had felt his entire life. He looked over his shoulder to meet Stein's intense gaze. He smiled sweetly. "I haven't been completely sure of much in my life. But I am completely sure right now." He replied softly.

Stein felt his cold heart warm even more than it had been since they first kissed. He leaned forward to kiss Spirit's shoulder gently. Then he eased into him. Spirit worked to relax. He knew there would be a bit of pain, but then immense pleasure. So he bore through it. Stein was gentle. He went as slow as he could, even though it took all his restraint to keep from pounding into him. He gave Spirit time to adjust and get used to it. When Spirit moaned a tiny bit and pushed against him impatiently, he nearly lost it. He gripped Spirit's hips tights, quickening his pace. He only pushed harder or faster when the whimpered requests came from Spirit. They moved together, both giving and receiving, moving together as one. Stein was gritting his teeth to the point of nearly cracking them. He panted with each movement. Spirit moaned loudly each time Stein passed by that particular spot . Stein started to buck unevenly, faster and harder. Spirit knew he was close. He pushed against Stein harder. Stein started pounding erratically into Spirit, the slapping of their skin and moans filling the air. He reached up with a trembling hand and –

CRANK.

"Ah, Spirit!" he gasped out, as he reached the peak of his orgasm. Spirit groaned as he felt Stein inside him riding it out. Stein collapsed onto Spirit's back, panting heavily. Spirit rolled over, so they were cuddled beside each other on the couch. They entwined their limbs together, as if they would never be separated. And they never wanted to be. They both were breathing heavily, their breaths mixing. Stein chuckled breathlessly.

"This was not how I imagined this day was going to end. I rather thought I was going to be completely lost in madness and in Medusa's clutches."

Spirit laughed softly too, one hand on Stein's scarred cheek. "I thought we were all going to die. Or at the very least that I would lose my daughter and best friend all in one day. So yeah, I prefer this ending."

They both sighed happily, resting there together in happy and satisfied silence. Both had taken their masks off, and were on their way to finding healing and true happiness in each other.

Author's Note: Here was my first real lemon and yaoi! Hope it was ok. Please leave a kind review! :)