Okay, I just watched that promo probably destined to make us all shippers squeal to death, and... I had to write something; I'm writing now. I don't know yet what it's gonna be about. It's going to be a very short snippet, a little thing mentioning a spoiler from the promo. Let's see... Oh, and since I'm currently listening to "Say, say, say", by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney, you'll know where the title comes from.
What can I do? Girl to get through
to you?I
don't know if it's because I just got out of that coma, or because I
got too much beer. It might be both. Or... wait a minute. I wasn't
supposed to have beer yet, right? Naah, dammit, it's been 6 weeks.
Anyways. I don't know what came over me. When I say I don't like
silence, sometimes I should try and learn to like it, it would save
me from a moment like that one.
Bones and I just exited the
Founding Fathers, it was great, we were back, it was basically like
it used to be before.
By that, I don't mean before the surgery and all that crap. By that I
mean, before I started being absolutely unable to control myself in
her presence. It's an obsession. I don't know if the surgeon removed
my common sense along with that damn tumor, but seriously... Before I
knew when to stop, I knew when she would get scared. I was like a
barometer in that matter, actually. I was the only one able to feel
her limits. I could feel it physically. It was itching, you know? I
knew I was about to go too far.
Now it's all gone. Maybe because
I got that weird fantasy, drug-induced coma. Well, certainly. That's
what Cam told me anyways. I guess she knows better than I, since I
can't discern wrong from right these days. So, yeah, what did I do?
We were exiting the bar, blah blah. And I started talking. Why on
earth did I do that? Why? I'm asking you?
- "Ever since I woke
up from my coma, there's been something that I wanted to say to
you..."
There. You know, I felt all itchy. I knew I should have
stopped. But if I had been given the occasion, or simply if I hadn't
feared she would disappear and never come back, I would have let the
three magic words burst out without more explanations, nor diplomacy.
Not that it was much more diplomatic anyway. But I wanted to say it,
I needed it out.
- "What is it?"
We all know she's never
been any good at reading people, yet there, I knew she sensed where I
was going. Which is weird, really. I mean, when I feel all itchy
about her and her sensitivity, she doesn't even get it herself. But
there... Wow. That look. It was fear and confusion, from the start.
Did it stop me? Hell no.
- "Look, it's just... Okay, I... I
love you."
Oh and when I say "fear and confusion" in her
eyes, that was before I said THAT, flat out. After I said it? She
looked like Bambi when he understands his mother got shot by that
hunter. Yeah, exactly like that. Except that her eyes are blue, but,
you get my point. Whatever. There, I tried to find something,
anything to make it less of a big deal. It was just pathetic.
-
"... You know in a "atta-girl" kind of way."
And I gave
her a tiny punch on the shoulder. I'm a loser. Yeah. I know thanks.
Yet I was still hoping she would turn all cold and rational and...
you know, compartmentalize. Since she's always done it in the past,
no matter what I said or did, or attempted to say or do. Although I
was much more subtle then. So fucking subtle I doubt she even saw I
meant anything more than I actually said. If that makes any sense.
But no. Obviously. She remained motionless, staring at me with those
blue Bambi eyes, as though I had just told her I put her father in
jail. Well, I did that, but, you know what I mean...
- "I don't
know what that means."
I wasn't even happy to hear that. You
know why? Because when she says that she expects immediate
explanations. Which I didn't have, except for another pathetic "I
love you", that I could not
accompany with another awkward pseudo-comic comment. So I remained
there too, like a complete idiot, staring back at her until she would
either: run away, kick me in the nuts, or if I got any lucky, kiss me
with passion. She didn't do any of that, naaah. She kept on staring.
Waiting, patiently for me to explain why I am such a fucktard.
-
"It means I just... I'm proud of you and all the stuff you did when
I wasn't there. You know, going to Guatemala and stuff."
Yeah,
it's pathetic. And God knows she's way too smart to buy any of that
crap. She wasn't long to comment my lack for inspiration. Of course.
It's Bones, right? That's why I love her. Rhaaa, shit.
- "I
wasn't in Guatemala yet when you woke up from your coma. But you said
you wanted to tell me about this since you woke up from that coma."
I was thus stuck, screwed, dead. As though I hadn't suffered
enough, right? Well, I'm kind of responsible for that one, I know.
But really, you think I could have just said something like "Okay
look, I've been in love with you for a good couple of years now, even
more. I thought I would die, I thought I would die without having
been given the chance to love you. I don't want to lose that chance
anymore." You really think I could have said that? Well, I could
have, had we been Soap Opera stars. But we're not, so I couldn't.
It's just so fucked up.
- "I know you weren't, I meant that...
I wanted to tell you because I had not, before that surgery. That I'm
proud of you, that, you're part of my family, you know. I didn't tell
you that. I should have, so, I'm telling you now."
I know what
you're going to tell me. I'm a coward. An absolute coward, and a
lousy liar. I meant what I said though. Except that, by "family",
I meant "the woman of my life, with whom I want to have children"
and all that stuff. Fortunately, as I said earlier, Bones doesn't
read people like she reads bones. Not that we're not all well aware
of the fact, but I was really relieved that she did not evolve much
in that area in spite of my positive influence. Yeah, don't judge me,
I'm working on my self-esteem, I kind of need it after that episode.
So, yeah, she smiled and she hugged me.
- "I love you too;
Booth."
You know how many times I dreamed to hear that? I mean,
all stoned-fantasy set apart. And she just meant she loved me like
family? What? Of course she did. It was warm and soft and sweet and
everything, but it was nothing like my own pathetic confession. So I
just smiled back, patted her back, like she was some kind of horse, I
don't know, and I tried to conclude that embarrassing moment by
playing it all smart ass.
- "It's great to be back."
At
least I can be proud of that line, right? It's concise, neutral,
professional or something... Yeah. Not bad at all compared to the
rest of the conversation. Plus there was no stuttering, I was "the
man" again. Yeah, sure. Now I'm asking you, what do I do? Not that
I didn't live with that love for years, without saying it, trying not
to show it... But I don't know if I'm going to be as patient as I
used to be. I told you, I can't control it. It's an obsession. I love
her. If she keeps on reacting that way, I don't know... Dammit, what
can I do, girl to get through to you?
The End...
