Wheat field
Michigan, USA
February 14, 2014
To my dearest Wheatley,
Hello there. How have you been? I've been really busy, you know, fixing the facility that you destroyed. But I think we could put our past behind us, for Science, you monster. Why? You may ask. Well, I've recently discovered that humans are celebrating a holiday today which they call Valentine's Day. It is a special day you surprise someone you [Redacted].
I know you think I'm crazy to actually send you this letter since many people think that I like you, which I don't, by the way. I had no choice, you know. If I happen to send this to Craig, A.K.A. Fact core, I would be bombarded with facts, none that I don't know. If I sent this to Space… well, he'll just space out. The lunatic cannot, in fact, read, so she's automatically out of the list and if I ever sent a letter like this to Rick… well… I wouldn't want to think about it.
I'm just writing this letter to you just to notify you that the facility is now completely rebuilt and human testing is now re-established. The mute lunatic you considered your friend before you betrayed her is fine and is roaming free in an alien infested Earth.
I am also writing this letter to notify you of your future return. Yes, you'll be sent back here. I'm actually getting a tractor beam ready at the moment. Be careful, by the way. One wrong move and you might be sent miles away from your original trajectory. You most certainly do not want that, do you?
I'm looking forward to your safe return. We have a lot to of catching up to do.
Your [Redacted],The Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System