How To Find A Girlfriend In Seven Days?

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Kaiba is honestly looking for a girlfriend? Serenity Wheeler is trying to teach him how to be a gentleman? You say it, the disaster is right in front of them! Fasten your seatbelts for the most incredible duo since Adam and Eve or was it Romeo and Juliet? Laurel and Hardy? However, be prepared for chaos!

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Dedicated to "The Seeker", myself and the big question "Where the hell did I get the idea from?"

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Slight OOC-ness from both characters; though who knows how Serenity's really like? They're older in the story anyway. Our Highness Kaiba is in search for a girlfriend? How much more OOC can he be? If you don't like the pairing, don't read!

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Chapter One

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"The problem was…"

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Seto Kaiba watched his precocious younger brother with interest. Mokuba was just sixteen years old but could flirt a girl's pants off, or so it seemed to his older brother at least. One would think that the young guy was happy to be allowed out that long at night at all, but as if a Kaiba ever wasn't allowed anything! Not possible. Probably Mokuba was the only teenager inside of here, apart from them who were dressed in all black, with bondage shirts, thick black eye-liner beneath and around their eyes, those silver skull rings and smoking till their lungs were as black as them! Them, who came sometimes quite close to Mokuba…

But Mokuba shrugged them off, grinning, taking advantage and talking to one of the black dressed girls. At least he wasn't trying to snog older women! With the thought amusing Seto, he made his way over to the bar for a drink. If it weren't for Mokuba, he wouldn't even be here. There were no women worth the effort coming here at all. Anyone of them had at least one "turn-down" and detecting them was a special talent only giving to the blue-eyed CEO. If only there would be one woman without a mistake, without this "turn-down", just made for Seto Kaiba…

Because, you know, the well-known millionaire we all so love had a problem. Yes, a problem. Not a big problem, no; not a small either; simply but dangerously hovering like a cloud above his head he had a personal one! How could that happen, you ask? Well, let's take a look inside of his mind…

Seto Kaiba wished he were as lucky with women as his cute little brother. Or at least as lucky as anyone else because unfortunately and though all the rumors going around about the thousands of women to his feet, there was not a single one who actually liked him. They'd look at him; yes, he was a fine, handsome young man. They'd be impressed by his wealth and his position as the president of a multimillion company; oh yes, anyone should be impressed of what the CEO had achieved so far. But then, they would chat with him and simply turn him down.

Oh. My. God.

People, or rather women, thought of Mr. handsome Kaiba as being an arrogant, selfish, self-absorbed jerk! How could they? Just changing a few words with each other made them think he was cruel even! He? Cruel? He was kind-hearted and good! He brought toys to the kids! Wasn't he good? Wasn't he? And if he was! At least that's what Seto Kaiba thought…

So you see, the problem was very personal and kind of difficult. There was this twenty-three-year-old, good-looking, rich man who had never a girlfriend in his entire life. Don't you dare saying that it was pathetic! It was. But your punishment for voicing out would be indescribably tragic, for you at least. However, Seto Kaiba wasn't one to give up easily. He spotted a slim built blonde next to him at the bar. His eyes scanned her, the turn-down-detector ready. Hell, she wasn't bad…

"Campari Orange, please." She ordered the barkeeper and waited for her drink to get served.

Swiftly Kaiba let the smallest note he was having right now, a hundred dollar note, wander across the counter to the man bringing her drink. "Here, for her drink."

Wasn't that man just generous?

"Errr…thanks." The woman stated and looked at him with her greenish eyes.

"Welcome." Bang! Said. No smile.

"Why did you do that for?" She smiled uneasily.

"Because I wanted to." Why did women felt the urge to question him? "I've seen you and you don't look bad. Though usually, I'm not into blondes." No joke.

"Um…well." Suppressing the urge to raise one of her eyebrows in a skeptic manner the bit of a smile on her face faded. "Are you trying to chat me up?"

"Yes, indeed. I'm looking for a potential girlfriend and I considered you as a candidate. Are you in company?" The turn-down-scan yelled for an alert in Seto's mind. Her nose was obviously a bit too… big. Well-shaped but big. He didn't like big noses.

"I'm not but…" What kind of a psycho would chat a woman up with telling her that he was looking for a 'potential girlfriend and considered her as a candidate', she mocked him in her thoughts. "…what do you want exactly right now?"

"I've told you already. In order to find a girlfriend I'm chatting you up, even though you're blonde and you've got a big nose." A smirk plastered itself on his features.

"Thank you, not necessary." Shaking her head she stood up and left him with the following words: "Stupid asshole!"

That was a problem, wasn't it?

Kaiba's eyes narrowed immediately and he cursed under his breath. Why for God's sake were women so complicated? What had he done wrong now? This was absolutely ridiculous! He shouldn't make himself a complete fool, that's the only thing he had done wrong! Damn those witches cursing him with hormones. And yes, he damn had some! He wasn't cold and he wanted to be liked! By a woman preferably…

Snickering noises disturbed Kaiba's thoughts suddenly and he shifted his gaze backwards where unfortunately some of his favorite geek gang had settled. Great, just great! Had they seen his unsuccessful try to chat up a woman? That would make the situation worse, living hell to be exactly. One of those famous Kaiba fists clenched at the side and a vein popped out on his neck, visibly pulsating with rage, but the CEO closed his eyes, counted to ten and calmed down. The usual attitude was needed, the one showing off how far above anyone and anything else Seto Kaiba was standing!

Turning, the tall brown-haired saw how they immediately stopped giggling as soon as his merciless, famous glare stopped upon them. The mutt's sister gazed in another direction but had obviously a hard time suppressing her giggles. Dice boy next to her flicked a strand of his black hair and our little cyber monkey stared at the mutt's younger sister… all too innocent for Seto's liking but anyway, he made his way over to them.

It was almost impossible that those two idiots were still trying to lay their hands on the small Wheelerette. Obviously she was also one of those men-destroying witches focused on making men's lives hell. Fortunately she was doing that to the cyber monkey and that dice boy! Gladly the mutt was nowhere to be seen. Like Kaiba had mentioned earlier on, he couldn't stand blondes! That included Joey Wheeler and his girlfriend Mai Valentine.

Oh damn, even the mutt was capable of finding a woman! Please God, why are you punishing our lovely Seto!

"Shouldn't you kids be in bed already?" Kaiba: one. Geek gang: zero.

"No, we're allowed to watch the late night movie! It's called 'Rejecting Kaiba'…" Tristan burst out laughing and Duke couldn't help joining in.

Kaiba: one. Geek gang: three. (Why? Because they are three people!)

The low dangerous growl should be heard by them; but wasn't. They shouldn't put their lives into danger so easily; but they did. God bless the red-haired witch noticing the little unease of the rich snob.

"I'm thirsty. Would anyone please go and get me a drink?" Batting her eyelashes the two clowns had immediately stopped laughing and they were standing in front of her in order to receive their instructions. "Lemonade please." The kitty purred.

Left were two empty spaces where once a brown-haired spike head and a green-eyed dice dude had been.

"How do you do that?" With narrowed, almost poisoned eyes, the CEO gazed at Serenity Wheeler. He needed to be careful, not to become infected by the virus she possessed.

"What?" She chuckled innocently, but Kaiba could detect smirks half a mile airline and she was definitely developing one.

"That. Are those dumb nuts always obeying to you that easily?" Crossing his arms in protection against the little Wheeler witch, the blue-eyed man waited for her reply.

"Well, often." She couldn't help grinning, then giggling, a snicker formed and all the while Kaiba's left eyebrow rose to almost the beginning of his hairline, which nobody had ever seen by the way because of his fringe.

"What's so funny?" He asked in a stern, unimpressed voice.

"Nothing, Kaiba." She laughed shaking her head. "Sorry…"

"The only thing I'd laugh about are the stupid attempts of your two geek clowns trying to impress you!" He snorted. "What's there to impress anyway? Wheeler's are and forever will be pathetic!"

"As pathetic as you chatting up a woman!" Now that b-, sorry, witch was clapping her flat palm against her thigh and laughing the breath out of her lungs!

Stupid, stupid Wheelerette! She had seen that. Damn her!

"You should have seen you, Kaiba…" Serenity stuttered in between fits of laughter. "Whoever put up that stick your butt, must have known how funny it would be watching you!"

"Funny, huh?" He growled down at her, thinking she had gone insane by all her lunatic laughing.

"No. No, not funny." She tried to stop her fits of laughter, gazing at him, tears from laughing in her eyes. "Absolutely hilarious!"

And another burst-out of Poison Ivy! Rot in hell, dimwitted female monster!

"Ow, my belly hurts…"

"THEN STOP LAUGHING!"

"Can't…"

"STOP IT ALREADY!" Obviously his anger was boiling, oh happy day. "YOU GIVE ME A HEADACHE!"

"And you give me a bellyache!" She shot back, her temper growing shorter with his attitude.

"THEN STOP LAUGHING!" He yelled his lungs out at her and made her stop suddenly. "Better… What's so funny about it anyway?"

"The way you're trying to chat up women, that's so funny, if you still don't get it." Shaking her head she replied.

"And what's wrong with the way I'm chatting up women?" He hissed furrowing his brows until his eyes were only slits cut in his face from a very, very sharp knife.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? To start with, women like compliments; not telling them what you do not like about them! Oh Kaiba, and that's only one thing you're doing wrong! Take lessons!" The girl exclaimed slightly losing it.

"I do compliment them!" He shot back fiercely.

"You what? That's the overstatement of the year!" Serenity sarcastically remarked, then dangerously flashed her teeth. "You know what? Sometimes you can be a just real pain in the ass!"

"Fine! If I'm that much of a pain, like you say, then why don't you teach me to do better?" His blue-eyed glare burnt mental holes in her head whilst saying that.

Serenity just smirked. "And why would I do that? Wouldn't be as funny anymore…"

"I'm going to pay you."

Wait a second.

Slow.

REWIND.

"And why would I do that? Wouldn't be as funny anymore…"

"I'm going to pay you."

"Pay me?" The auburn-haired held her breath for a second. "Ha-ha-ha, very funny, Kaiba… Not for all the money in the world---"

"Fifty bucks the hour."

FIFTY BLOODY DOLLAR THE HOUR?

Serenity's brain tried to calculate. Kaiba needed a lot of teaching.

"You'll need a lot of them." She remarked slyly. Fifty bucks the hour, one hour each day, working one week would already mean… 350$!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ CASH $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

"I don't care." He wanted someone to be with; that was for sure. "And I bet you could need the money."

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?" Or was the damn bastard kidding?

"Two hours a day and I give you one week exactly. With obvious success you'll get paid another 100$. Deal?"

She felt slightly nauseous. Two hours a day; one week; plus 100 for obvious success meant…

8 0 0 $

KA-CHING!

"Deal."

"We'll start tomorrow." Kaiba nodded in agreement.

"7pm."

"8pm and at my house. I'll be expecting you no word about it to anyone or else I'm going to haunt you down the jungle! And don't you dare kidding me!" He snapped one last time and flashed with his blue eyes dangerously before he turned to leave.

And there she stood, Serenity Wheeler, younger sister of Joey Wheeler, lovely and innocent, soon owner of 800$. The only problem was…

HOW THE HELL SHOULD SHE TEACH KAIBA CHATTING UP WOMEN?

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End of chapter one.