CLOSET
by Cereal-Killa
Status Multi-chapter
Updates Spastic for now
Warnings Boy/boy, gay panic, cursing, smut later, OOCness, etc.
It was a cold day in January when my whole life went to shit.
Courtney slammed her locker beside me. "You hear about the new kid?" She tried to keep her voice as disinterested as she could, but as her friend, I could see through it. "He's apparently a real trouble maker. I heard he went to juvenile hall like, fifteen times."
"Oh really?" I laughed. Although she was quite prideful and one of the smartest people I had ever met, Courtney couldn't resist drama, and loved knowing the inside scoop on everything. Good thing we had been friends forever, so I was the second in command when it came to knowing what was happening inside the school walls. "So this kid must be something. You aren't talking about how Lindsay was having a sex with one of the teachers anymore."
Courtney blanched. "She was totally banging Mr. McClean, I swear!" But then her attention snapped to the end of the hallway, and she tugged on my shirt. "Look, look! There he is!"
The hallway volume dropped a couple of levels as everyone took their time to overlook this new guy. I sighed, turning to see who this hot shot was. I mean, really, no offense to her, but Courtney tended to over exaggerate well, pretty much everything. I had my doubts about this guy being any more than a grade-A poser...
"Mmm, he's a cutie." Someone said. I looked down the hall and felt my breath hitch.
Yeah, this guy looked pretty slick... Ok, who am I kidding, he looked godly. He was obviously toned, by the way his light blue shirt hugged his body. Hands in his pockets, he walked looking down at the ground but oddly enough, I could still tell he was probably pretty full of himself. If the sharp toothed smirk wasn't anything to go by. He had shaggy black hair that looked a little grown out, and bright, sky blue eyes that held mischievous intentions within.
I didn't know if I should respect him or roll my eyes.
-/-
New kid was all that. Every girl loved him, and every guy wanted to be him. It had been a week after he first came to our school and he was still a hot topic. Courtney was becoming discouraged. "The gossip is flying like crazy, I can barely keep up with it all!" She shouted one day as we were standing in the lunch line. She shot a glare at the source of her anger, causing me to take a look.
His name is Duncan. He was fifteen, and he had decided to come into a new school during the middle of the year. He was, at the moment, sitting at a table, surrounded by girls and guys all alike. They kept talking to him and everything, but he didn't do much but nod and give them blank facial expressions. "What an attention whore!" Courtney whispered to me.
"He obviously just wants to be left alone." She shot me a glance, and I shrugged. "Look at him. He's holding back a scowl the whole time they've been talking to him."
Courtney scoffed. "Yeah right. He's probably got every girl's phone number and is getting invited to every party. Why the hell would he be mad about it?"
I didn't say anything else, just picked up my apple sauce and followed Courtney to our table. But I could've sworn that when I looked to Duncan again, he had been staring at me, because his eyes were right on mine. I blinked quickly and swerved around.
And I could almost feel his smirk tickling my back.
-/-
I've been gay for a while.
I know that sounds like a weird statement, but it's true. Ever since I was in sixth grade, I've pretty much known. I just never felt anything for girls. When other guys were talking about boobs and things of that nature, I just... couldn't find it interesting. I just kind of thought my hormones were jacked and that I was just late for puberty.
But then, like every other boy, I did start feeling things. I started touching myself and looking at porn and fantasizing about people.
I just... didn't fantasize about girls.
Okay, honestly, I don't know how it happened. I think I just saw a guy in class and then, I don't know. Butterflies. They were all in my stomach and it made me feel weird. And then I looked up gay porn, and yup. Things progressed from there.
So. I've been gay for a while.
It's just that nobody knows it.
-/-
Being a closeted homosexual is nothing to be ashamed of.
...Yes. I'm being completely sarcastic.
I'd had a few girlfriends before, but it just didn't work. They would kiss me and try to touch me and I would just be disgusted. One girl even gave me a blowjob and I just felt sickened. Talk about total turn off.
Don't get me wrong! I have nothing against females, I mean, power to them and everything. They just... It's like how a straight guy would feel about having a dude give him a blowjob. Same concept, but just... different.
Anyway, I hadn't told anyone. Hell, Courtney didn't even know, and she was my best friend.
But the way Duncan looked at me... he looked at me with these eyes, those blue eyes that saw right through me. That's why every time I saw him, I looked away. Because somewhere, deep inside of me, I knew. I knew that he knew.
He knew everything.
-/-
It was three weeks since he'd been here when things started getting sticky.
"Heya cupcake." Duncan said, sitting by me.
I had been dreading this. I tried to act casual. "Oh, hey." I scooted in my chair.
Biology class was quite possibly the easiest class to take in this high school. Miss Melons, a sweet, kind lady, was a bit deaf. Okay, she was a lot deaf. She couldn't hear shit. Honestly, I don't know how she was still a teacher, as old as she was, but basically, you could slack off and still get a great conduct grade. No one ever failed the tests because, get this, they were all oral. So she gave you an A no matter what.
What this also meant was that people took advantage of this class. Most everyone feel asleep, was talking in small groups, and so on. I sat alone at my two person desk by choice.
Duncan had been sitting in the seat beside me since about two weeks back.
Awkward could have been the word for that first day. And then, he came up with this annoying nickname. Cupcake. When he had first said it, I had really thought he was talking about me being gay. But then he just laughed and I knew he was simply just being an ass.
Anyway, I couldn't really fathom why Duncan had taken a liking to sitting by me. I talked a little too much about shit no one cared about and I was kind of an idiot. Really, though. I probably couldn't tell you much of anything that went on education-wise.
But he still just smirked at me all the time so I didn't question him.
"Ya know, yer pretty cool, blondie." I felt myself twitch.
No one ever called me cool. I was just kind of stupid, immature Geoff. I looked to Duncan to see him grinning largely, pencil tapping lightly on his paper as he sat his cheek in a palm so he was facing me. "For real. Yer alright."
I felt myself smile. "...Thanks. You're cool too." I didn't really know Duncan, but he was pretty nice when he wasn't acting like an asshat.
"So..."
"So...?"
"Ya wanna go on a date or what, cupcake?"
And you can bet your ass my mind effing exploded.
-/-
Obviously, Duncan was not the type of guy to take no for an answer.
No, I didn't agree! What type of guy do you take me for? Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm desperate. But Duncan didn't seem to care.
It was the next Tuesday when he brought in flowers. I felt my face go red as Duncan started walking across the cafeteria over to me. Red roses, oh my gosh, that was so sweet...
WAS WHAT SOME CREEPY PART OF ME WANTED TO SAY, but I did not! I instead caught Duncan before he could approach my table and flung him out of the cafeteria, down the hallway and into the boys bathroom. "What. The. Fuck." I said.
Duncan smiled, handing the flowers to me. "Wanna re-think that date now?"
I pushed the roses out of my face, scowling at him. "What? NO! What the hell, Duncan, what were you thinking, people could see you-"
"So?"
And that's when it hits me. This guy isn't closeted.
He's... openly gay.
And that's the first time I've ever met someone like that. "Y-you don't care what people think about you... ya know... being gay?"
The black haired boy sniffed. "Nah, not really." He said nonchalantly.
I raised a brow. "How do you... do that?"
"Wha' do ya mean?"
I shrugged. "I mean... how do you... come out? And-and tell people that?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Slips off th' tongue. The first time was hard, but after that it was like takin' a piss; easy, natural, needed." As odd as his analogy was, I kind of understood. Once he told one person, it got easier, and progressively easier, until no harm was done at all.
"I-I..." I started, looking to the floor, but then gathered the courage to huff and look Duncan straight in his baby blue eyes. "I'm gay!"
He smirked. "Knew that the first time I saw ya."
"HUH?!" I said, face flushing red. I mean, I had thought maybe Duncan might know, but I didn't expect him to look so un-surprised! "H-how?" I brushed some of my blonde hair out of my eyes. It really was getting too long...
He chuckled, twirling the piece of hair I had just tucked behind my ears in his finger. "My gaydar is goddamned fantastic. I picked cha up the first time I laid eyes on ya, and that pretty little ass o' yers."
I slapped his hand away. "Shut up..." I turned and looked at myself in the mirror, I mean really looked at myself.
Yeah, I was confused, because even though Duncan had asked me on date before and all that, I hadn't taken him seriously. I just kind of thought he was messing with me or just trying to get me all worked up since he could tell I was gay. I'd never actually been in a relationship with a guy... much less kissed one or even gone on a date!
I'd never hit on a guy or had one hit on me.
Duncan smiled from behind me. My groan of horror was inevitable.
-/-
The craziest part is that I still didn't technically say yes.
Yeah, Duncan and I were in the theatre, and yeah, we were sharing an extra large popcorn, but that's because it's extra large, obviously made for two people, and it saves money, so it's like popcorn car pool and just shut up about it already.
Anyway, it wasn't a date. I was sticking to my respective seat, just watching the screen and not holding hands or leaning in or any of that gooey shit.
Duncan, however, was not having it. He fought for ten minutes before I simply sighed in irritation and let his arm hang across my shoulders, which I squared tightly for good measure.
It wasn't a date, but I still managed to make it end like one.
It's no surprise, really- Duncan is attractive and charming and smells like yum so it only made sense that we were both walking out of the theatre when he pushed me into an alley beside the place.
"What the fuck?" I whispered, not trying to attract any attention to us but still trying to push him away. He was really close, hands clutching my hips a little too forcefully and nose nuzzling the underside of my neck. "Duncan, get off of me!"
"Mmm," is all he said before he was literally trying to suck my brains out, or at least that's what I think he was doing because goddamn you don't just kiss somebody like that and not want to suck their brains out.
Duncan's tongue was a thing of wonder, flicking at my own, his teeth pulling at my bottom lip just so, running that sinful mouth over my collar bone and sucking so hard I was sure to have bruises. Speaking of bruises, his hands were still holding my hips firmly, nails digging into the skin almost close enough to break it.
He was so very, very rough.
And I hated that I loved every second of it.
-/-
I really didn't know what to do with myself after that.
I avoided Duncan the next day at school, and Courtney noticed my change in mood. "You seem bummed, what's the problem?" A part of me always knew that Courtney only asked me things like this half the time because she did actually care, and partially because she simply wanted to know. She never told my secrets, from what I knew, but a gossip is a gossip, and they like to know.
"I think it's been a while since I threw a party," I lied, but not really. It had been a long time since I'd thrown a party, almost a month, actually. "I think I'll have one this weekend."
-/-
The next day was the day before the party and Courtney was having an absolute ball.
Duncan had decided to come and sit next to us at our table, which only consisted of me and Courtney. We were both pretty social, but most people were afraid to talk to Courtney about anything mostly due to fear of blackmail.
Considering that she had been complaining about him before, Courtney was able to do a complete 180 for the greater good of gossip. She really was a true talent.
Courtney totally ate Duncan up, asking him all he had learned about the school. Oddly enough, he had some viable information to give, and that was enough to get Courtney on his good side. "Do you have any one you've got your eye on?" She asked, thoroughly interested. Couples and crushes were Courtney's favorite gossip by far.
Duncan smirked, so devilishly that Geoff fought to keep his blush down while mouthing, 'Don't you dare.' "Actually, I do, in fact..."
Courtney's brown eyes widened with excitement. "And who's the lucky lady?!"
The dark haired boy shrugged. "I'll give ya a hint: I like my women how I like my coffee."
Courtney nodded, loving the game he was playing with her. "Like them how you like your coffee, got it!" Courtney was obviously going to be trying to solve that mystery for the rest of the week, and I have to be honest, the word riddle had left me stumped as well. She ran off with a calculated look, and I knew she would be busy for awhile with that one.
"How do you like it?" I asked as we both left lunch together.
Duncan smirks. "I don't like coffee." He chuckled, and the blush that flutters on my cheeks couldn't be any brighter, I'm sure of it.
-/-
tbc...
-/-