It's a bit short, started out as a SwanQueen thing and wound up as what you are about to read.
Don't own OUAT, or any of the characters
There in an apartment, in a town that that didn't exist on any map, sat a newspaper on a table with a headline that sent a town into a frenzy. In the apartment are two women, one which the headline involved, who were fighting for the newspaper. The black haired one was trying to read it but was rudely interrupted by a towel clad blonde that was formerly trying to clean her gun, so now they are both fighting for the paper with the blonde waving a loaded gun around the apartment.
Across town is man, the second person involved, who was grabbing his clothes as they came flying through the doors and windows of his former house. Whilst doing that he tried shielding his embarrassment from the neighbors as they crowded around the front of his house, while watching an angry woman, who was on the verge of turning purple with rage, throw a vase at him.
In a white house was another woman, the one who started everything. There she was arguing with a ten year old boy to go get his shoes on so she could go out and bask in the chaos that she had created. One might say that would be a severe case of schadenfreude, but when you're Regina Mills there are only a few ways to amuse yourself when you start to realize that sending everyone you hate to live in a place where there are no happy endings, suddenly becomes a regrettable idea due to the fact that the place is Maine, and is barely considered a state.
Now back in the apartment the two women have ceased their fighting with the blonde one winning by handcuffing the other to the chair. It only took Mary-Margret a whole two minutes before she realized she could lift up the chair and be free. The paper was currently going through the shredder with Mary-Margret grabbing the end and trying to pull it back through. The only thing she wanted to know was what was said about her and David Nolan. Only the day before had she and David kissed right outside Granny's immediately had drawn to conclusion that Regina was the one who found out, though Ruby just so happened to see what was about to happen and all twenty people in the diner smashed their faces up to the window to witness the event.
Only minutes before Mary-Margret and David had their snog session in the street, Regina was trying to negotiate with Mr. Gold for part of his land. Which soon became increasingly difficult because he claimed that he liked to garden, and that the twenty acres that she wanted was his gardening space. Regina went through 300 acres of land, which none of them were available because all of the land was used for gardening. Finally, she had found a plot of land right next to the toll bridge that wasn't used for gardening. Now Regina especially hated this spot because it was formally Snow White and Prince Charming's "spot", and she found it odd that Mr. Gold didn't use this spot for gardening because she of course knew that soil in more fertile next to water.
This now leads us back to Regina mistakenly seeing Mary-Margret and David. Mr. Gold's shop is on the other side of the town far from Granny's Diner, but a man named Marco was lying in the middle of the street holding a piece of fire word, crying. Two others were trying to get him out of the street, while another was trying to get the wood from out of his hands. Regina walked on by to her office till Marco started to whisper "My Pinocchio," to the wood. Regina started to experience the same feeling that she desperately tried to get rid of thirty years ago. She tried to speed walk in the opposite direction the best she could without drawing to much attention to herself. Upon speed walking she saw a piece of wood lying on the street and ran. Of course most people wouldn't know that Regina Mills, Mayor of Storybrooke and Formerly the Evil Queen was afraid of fire wood.
When she was The Evil Queen she had sent the Huntsman into the woods to retrieve fire wood, at the time Gepetto was staying at her castle and since the Huntsman was taking too long, she decided to take one of his puppets and burn it for wood. Unbeknownst to her she had taken Pinocchio and he was merely asleep until she chunked him into the fire and he woke up. The Huntsman had arrived back in time to help her get him out of the fire but Pinocchio was too charred so they threw him into Gepetto's fire place and said that he must of mistaken his only son for wood.
Regina ran and hopped into the nearest car which just so happened to be in front of Granny's Diner. She got in the drivers seat and leaned the seat back as far as she could so no one would see her, and in that moment when she looked up in fear of seeing Pinocchio she instead saw Mary-Margret and David kissing.
Across town in the Mayor's building, Sydney Glass was currently hiding under his desk, the only man in the town with no job, yes he was the reporter but there was no news and when the person you're madly in love with is the one person everyone in the town hates, life can be hard. Regina had asked him to keep his eye on Emma, and since he had little reporting experience due to the fact that they had been living a repetitive life for the past 25 years he had never actually had to do any investigating. Sydney glass had overheard Emma Swan saying to Mary-Margret, that she kept the stuff in the bathroom.
He was so sure that is was something that the Mayor would want to know about so he took it upon himself to break and enter her apartment. Now just when he did that he heard Emma's car door slam shut. He had decided that hiding in the shower would be the best bet only because Emma wouldn't get off work till eight and he assumed that she would be leaving shortly. The door to the apartment shut and Sydney had heard footsteps come straight to the bathroom. Now as you could imagine he was panicking, more because he felt like a fourteen year old boy looking at his Dad's playboys while trying to not get caught. But he peeked over the shower to try and see if he could Emma's dangerous "stuff", only to see Mary-Margret looking right back at him, with a box of tampons, about to scream.
Sydney tried to flee the room from her screaming while screaming him self that it was Regina's fault. So now back to the office, under the desk, he vowed to never leave; he knew Emma was looking for him, how was he supposed to know that she was referring to her womanly problems. She had only disguised the word because Henry was around. But what was worse was that he said Regina wanted him to do it, and now the whole town was going to think that Regina wanted Sydney to spy on Mary-Margret in the bathroom for an unknown reason.
Regina burst into his office and Sydney almost wet himself, she had a look on her face between malice and happiness and that's when Sydney tried to jump through the window because he truly believed she was going to kill him. But she had told him of Mary-Margret and David and he knew the only reason Mary-Margret was there was to tell Emma what had happened but he didn't say anything and typed the story to be published in the paper the next day.
How was it?