Fur, Feathers, and Dragon Boots
Author's Note: Did you notice how when they introduced wolf laguz, the berserker became unplayable? Yeah…
Stefan had a mission. He wouldn't let anyone know what he was up to. He worked diligently from dawn to noon, and after a brief lunch and siesta, worked from noon to dusk. His mission was his own, he needed no one else, which is why he was so surprised when Zihark volunteered.
"You don't even have to ask," Zihark said, while signing up to the petition. "It's morally wrong on every level."
"I never expected a beorc to offer his services," Stefan prattled, "I must admit… I was rather harsh in judging you."
"Well," Zihark responded, "My… girlfriend… was a laguz."
Micaiah and Sothe were the next to volunteer. "It's not right that laguz are treated like garbage, but this is especially bad," Sothe mentioned. He saw a tear roll down Micaiah's cheek.
"Something must be done!" she shouted.
Naturally, Sothe's involvement prompted Tormod's awareness, and Tormod was happy to oblige. He signed the petition and agreed to be an active protestor.
The group became renowned as the Beorc and Branded for the Cessation of Laguz Pelt Solicitation. Upon hearing of their presence, Ike was eager to join. "Do you think I should, Soren?" Ike asked his petite companion.
"Yes," he responded, "You'd work miracles. You always have."
"You should join too!" Ike said, "It would be our first major non-obligatory job together."
"Wouldn't people get suspicious if I joined?" Soren asked.
"Hey, it's Beorc and Branded, no one would as far as I'm concerned," Ike responded.
"Well," Soren answered, "Frankly, Ike, I hate laguz."
"I know," Ike said, "But think about it logically for a moment. If you and the other Branded successfully stopped pelt solicitation, your reputation would be greater, and laguz would treat future Branded children better than they treated you. Wouldn't that give you a warm feeling in your heart?"
"You are so optimistic," Soren responded, sort of half-smiling, "But I don't think they would care. They'd give YOU credit, I'll grant you that, and Zihark, and Tormod, and Sothe but…" Soren began to cry. "Branded will always be Parentless, always be nonexistent to them."
"But Soren," Ike said, "Without laguz, you'd never have been born at all."
"Good!" Soren shouted, "I wish I never had!"
"If you say so," Ike said sadly, "But I hope you reconsider. It would be a pity if something happened due to you leaving me alone with two attractive single men."
"You wouldn't," Soren hissed, hint of jealousy apparent as ever.
"You'd be surprised," Ike said, "I am a man with a man's normal… well, kind of… urges. One shot of liquor too many and you wouldn't know WHO I was dating."
"But Zihark is a teetotaler," Soren noted suspiciously, "And Stefan is taller than you so you wouldn't mistake him…"
"Zihark may be a teetotaler, but he's also heterosexual. However, I am neither."
"You would seriously threaten to drunkenly rape Zihark to get me to join? Okay, I will," Soren resigned.
"Hi, Soren!" Stefan shouted in a friendly manner, "I see you and Ike have come to join!"
"We sure have," said Ike, "So what are we doing today?"
"Well, after we get through initiating Oliver, we can initiate you two. What we are doing now is very serious business. Largo has been buying his berserker uniforms from Hatari."
"Largo?!" Soren asked, "But he was such a respectable fellow!"
"His OWN DAUGHTER is Branded! How could he do this? How could he do such a terrible thing?" Micaiah asked.
"He doesn't know anything about it. He assumes the pelts are from plain old wolves," Tormod responded, "Just like that dubious boa I saw Senator Valtome carrying. Oliver was so envious until he found out…"
"It came from a BEAUTIFUL HERON!" Oliver wept, "That poor beautiful heron is now in beautiful heron heaven."
"Well, don't worry," Ike said, "I'll set him straight." So Ike went to Largo's home, and cajoled him, telling him that his pelts were probably coming from wolf laguz.
"Wow," Largo said, "I didn't even know there WERE wolf laguz, let alone want to kill them. Okay, I'll buy my pelts from Kilvas from now on! No wolf laguz pelts there!"
This accomplishment caused them to grow throughout the land, but one day, Ena cried with a ferocity so immense it could be heard from Daein's eastern border west and from Crimea's northern coast south. The distressing cries were heard from Goldoa, and the Beorc and Branded for the Cessation of Laguz Pelt Solicitation were off. They found Ena crying.
"Horrible men stole my baby," she said, "To create fashionable boots."
For reasons inexplicable to him, Soren felt a lump of worry well up in his chest. He did notice the baby bore a slight resemblance to him. "Ike, for some reason, I'm really worried about this baby."
Kurthnaga came out from behind a beaded curtain and said, "You should be. He is your first cousin after all."
"Daddy?" Soren asked with a confused expression.
"No, I'm just your uncle. Your mother is my sister," he said. "Your cousin is going to be killed!"
"Not if I can help it! Ena, which way did the men go?" Soren asked.
"They went east to Begnion," Ena responded. Soren ran off without giving any of the others warning.
"Soren, wait!" Ike shouted, "It's too dangerous to go alone."
"I can escort him!" shouted Stefan.
Stefan and Ike got into a fistfight, which caused Soren to jump in front of Ike and sustain an injury from a blow. Micaiah fixed it with Sacrifice, and Oliver rolled his eyes and healed his old boss's impulsive sister. So the group as a whole went after the evil men and they were none other than Shinon and Gatrie. Gatrie was tied up, and Shinon was attempting to skin the baby dragon.
"Shinon," Ike said coldly, "Leave him alone."
"I'll only cease if a family member can beat me in combat," he said, "Because judging from dragon breath I'll be dead."
Stefan looked at Soren sadly. Soren turned to Ike for advice. "Only if you think it's best," was the reply to the wordless question.
"Shinon," Soren said, "I'm Branded. My mother was the sister of the father of this child."
"Yeah right..." Shinon said, "You're not Branded, you're a…"
"Spirit charmer? No, actually I'm not," Soren answered, "I'm just very adept at what I do."
"Very well," Shinon responded, readying an arrow. The fight was horrid. Blood spilled everywhere. Ike watched in horror as his two dueling employees practically killed each other. Shinon was very close to killing Soren, with the latter's face with, if it's possible, even less color than usual. He collapsed out of pain and exhaustion.
"NO!" Ike and Stefan cried.
Suddenly, fire appeared on Shinon's butt. "AUGH!" he screamed running around in circles. Oliver waved a staff over Soren before Micaiah had a chance to use Sacrifice and hurt herself again. Soren turned to look at his cousin breathing fire on his own attacker for Soren's defense.
"Sanjaya!" Soren shouted, "You… you can breathe fire!" He picked up the baby dragon and said, "Your mother will be so proud."
Across the land, Stefan's little protest group became known. Unfortunately, since no one knew who Stefan was, Ike got all the credit. Micaiah too, much to Tormod's dismay. Zihark was just content to help.
Soren kissed Sanjaya on the forehead before his imminent elopement with Ike. He told his younger cousin calmly, "You are not a monster. And your soul mate is out there. Trust me. It doesn't matter if you meet him or her when you're six or when you're a thousand and two, you will find one."
"Thank you again, for saving Sanjaya," Ena said. "Rajaion would be so proud of you."
"All I ever wanted was for Almedha to be proud of me…" he muttered.
"And I am," Almedha said. "My beautiful son."
"Soren, you coming?" Ike asked.
"Take care of my baby, Ike," Almedha said.
"I always have," was the response, "Always have."
As Ike and Soren disappeared into the fog, Ena felt shameful at the burdensome mistake her father-in-law had made when rewriting history.