"What are you looking at, homo?",

And out of no where, Dean Winchester is stepping closer into my view. This is practically a daily occurrence for me. And needless to say, I am tired.

"I am just trying to get to Calculus, Dean.." I sigh, basically to myself. I know that whatever I say, he won't listen. I look up at him, his green eyes stare back, sparkling with hatred; all for me. But deep inside of it all, there was something else. I couldn't put my finger on it. Was it guilt?

Before I know it, his hands are gripping my sweater tight, lifting me off the ground. His coiled fist pops back before connecting with my jaw; sending shocks of pain throughout my entire skull.

Perhaps a little too late, Principal Freeman shows up and separates Dean from me.

My mind goes blank.

I come to in the principals office, my father arguing with them about why this still has not stopped. He didn't necessarily like the sight of his little boy coming home with scars all over. I tense up, remembering the look on Dean's face. Shivers ripple up and down my spine.

Dean hasn't always hated me. It started during the summer, a party. I can remember every detail of that night. Even if I don't want to.

The satin blankets rustle as he crawls into the bed with me. We're finally alone.

"Hi", is all I can manage before he climbs on top of me, meeting his lips with mine. His kiss gentle and soft, reminding me of simpler times. His fingers slithered over mine, intertwining. I never want to leave this bed. Not as long as he's in it with me. He pulls back and looks deep into my eyes.

"Damn, Cas. You are perfect" he whispers, secretively. Like he was afraid that if he spoke the words too loudly, someone might hear, realize my "perfection", and steal me away from him. But no one could take me away from this moment. He leans down, kisses my palms, and lays beside me. I see my opportunity.

"I love you", I sing, burying my face into the sweetness of his chest.

"I love you, too" he smiles, tilting my head up, kissing me long and slow.

Then the door swings open, squeaking and creaking on its hinges.

"What the fuck?!"

It's Dean Winchester. And I am in bed with his closeted best friend.

Sometimes I think about him, and I cry until my eyes are raw. Because after that night, I never saw him again. I really had loved him. I suppose a part of me always will. I lay in my bed, reminiscing over the thought of his arms around me, the way that his lips tast- NO. I promised myself to never go back to that place.

To clear my thoughts, I pull on my boots, and head out towards the park. It wasn't that far away. Each step reminded me that I was alive, and breathing, and that was encouragement enough to carry on.

But I spoke too soon.

"Castiel", a ragged voice calls out from behind me. I knew who it was, no need to turn around.

"Leave me alone..", I pouted. Though I knew better. Though I knew he wouldn't. Dean Winchester always gets his way, one way or another. He is probably pissed that he got suspended. He probably blames me for that, too. The silence was killing me.

Quickly, I spun around. To my surprise, he doesn't look mad at all. If anything, I'd say there's a pang of sadness hidden under it all. I couldn't put my finger on him. I couldn't understand what it was that made him tick. He sat down on the park bench, putting his head in his hands. I debated on whether to sit next to him, and decided against it.

My hands were shaking, but it took me a while to notice it. I swallow down my fear and look up at him again. "You've ruined my life" , I whispered, barely audible. His eyes cut deep into my soul, I can tell he had been crying.

"I don't want to get all mushy, believe me, thats about the last thing I want to do. But I miss him sometimes. Brad. Do you?" His voice is shaky. My body tenses. It has been a while since I've heard his name. I try my hardest to block out every thought of him. Not because the memories are bad, but because they tear me apart every time.

"I do." I sigh, wondering what he was doing here. Why he was talking to me, out of all people.

"I am sorry. For hurting you; I really am" Dean chokes, "It just helps sometimes, you know? All this pent up rage I- " A single tear falls down his face as he talks. I walk up, and sit beside him.

"I understand.", even though I didn't. I liked that instead of hurting me, he's opening up about Brad. I have to give him props, because I can't even get myself to think about him yet. And because everyone knows he doesn't open up about much.

"It's not easy. At all." he looked to the sky, as if he was hoping for the answers he longed for to be written in the clouds. "I shouldn't be talking 'bout all this to you. I know you hate me, it's just you knew him just as well as I did.. And he lov-", his voice breaking, "He loved you."

"I don't hate you, Dean. Its just, being beaten senseless every day wears a person down." I glance over and he is running a hand through his blond hair. I would never admit it, but Dean never fails to amaze me. Everything about him peaks my interest. Except his temper.

"I won't hurt you anymore."

"Why did you start in the first place?"

"I'm really not sure. I guess I blamed you for what happened to Brad.. But I realize now that it isn't right to blame you" he looked around, and then straight at me.

I stood up abruptly and started walking towards my house. Wanting to be alone before the tears came down.

"Wait, where are you going?" Dean called out, chasing after me.

"It just doesn't work, Dean!" I snapped, spinning back around. "We aren't friends! You hurt me for a month, just for being in love with your best friend! Do gay people scare you? Huh? I loved him! Now he is just gone! And to be blamed by you, beaten by you, and then one day you just decide that I should forgive you? Im sorry, but no!" I hadn't realized until I was done talking that my face was wet with tears.

I turned to keep walking towards my house when I felt a firm grasp on my wrist, pulling me back. My heart thudded in my chest when he wrapped his arms around me, engulfing me in a hug. I hugged back, scared of myself and if I would ever get better.

"I'll see you in school.." Dean stated, turning around, and walking away towards his Impala. Nice car, I thought before heading back to my room to comprehend what had just happened.