In order to write this piece, I had to rewatch some of the episodes (not that I don't do that very often), so I hope you all like it. And I apologize for any mistakes. I wrote this while listening to the song "Asleep".
I know that he passed away on February 13, but only now I got the courage to post this.
I don't own Bones. *sigh*
"Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go"
It's not particularly cold on that Thursday afternoon.
The breeze was chilly but the sun was bright and the sky was blue.
Such a beautiful day.
His eyes were dry - how long was he staring at that same place? - but he just couldn't move.
He remembered when all those years ago, when he sat with his brother in the middle of their living room and his Pops, his hero kept telling him stories. He doesn't care if they're real or not - he never did. Those stories used to help when he could not sleep and everything else was falling apart.
His Pops was his hero.
Still is.
He knows that he needs to say something, anything.
He's just not sure what it is.
X
She wasn't too far away from him.
They never stayed too far away from each other, so it was no surprise that she was standing just a few feet from where he is.
She never believed in this kind of thing. In heaven and hell and soul and everything that comes with the package.
But somehow she knows that he needs his minute alone with the man that means the world to him.
(Yes, she knows now that there are different types of love. So she can just imagine how much he loves him.
and how much it hurts.)
But soon she'll need to do something, anything.
She's just not sure what it is.
X
"He's big and strong," from his peripheral vision he could see that she was standing by his side "But he's gonna need someone, everyone needs someone."
"What's that?" His voice was hoarse from the lack of use and her metaphorically heart was aching for him.
"He said that to me when we left him at the nursing home."
He smiled, just a little bit.
Because his Pops was always looking after him, no matter what.
She puts her hand on his shoulder and squeezes, just a little.
And now he smiles just a bit more, because he knows that she's trying.
She's not good with words and talking to the universe, like he is. But she's here, for him, trying, for him.
He's still not sure what he did to deserve such an amazing woman. It doesn't reach his eyes - he's so, so very sad - but he feels love spreading across his chest and the tiny smile doesn't leave his face.
"Where's everybody?"
"Angela is staying with Christine and Michael Vincent at her place. She thinks it's not good for the children to stay there. At least, this afternoon."
He nods with his head.
"And the others..." She tilts her head to the side "I actually don't know about them."
He takes a deep breath and looks into her eyes.
"I was more concerned about you."
He can feel the tears threatening to fall so he tears his gaze away from those warm grey eyes.
He knows that no one lives forever even if we want that so very much. He knows that he was old, and sick and after doing so many things, he needs his rest.
He can come to whatever logical crap to justified his death. Anything, just to make the pain go away.
But it doesn't.
It hurts like hell.
"I think he's okay now" He puts his hand over hers.
"Booth," She tightens her hold on his shoulder, choosing the next words very carefully "You know I don't-"
"I know" He takes a deep breath "I just need to know that he's happy."
"I really think he is."
"Why?"
She stares at the gravestone, still thinking carefully about what she's going to say next, because it is so unlike him not knowing what to say next and it is so like her to say something that will upset him deeply.
So she sits next to him and puts her head on his shoulder, holding his hand very, very tight.
(She reminds of a conversation that happened in the early years of their partnership, when he asked her how did she know that he was going to keep her promise, to back her up, and she said,
"Because you want to go to heaven."
"But you don't believe in heaven"
"But you do."
And now she comprehends, not completely, what Sweets said when she returned over a year ago, that her happiness is now contingent to Booth's and Christine's happiness.
She still doesn't believe in afterlife and in the possibility of having a conversation with Hank's spirit. A human being is made of flesh, and bones, and intellect, and right and wrong choices. There's no such thing as souls and eternal damnation. Once you died, it's over.
But she's okay, with putting her beliefs on hold because that's what he needs, just for now.
Love makes you do irrational things.)
"Because how can you not be happy when everyone that you love deeply is happy?"
She looks at him and his sad brown eyes are wet with tears but she can see that she did something right.
"He's right, you know."
"What?"
He puts his forehead against hers and says in a low voice. "I'm a lucky man."
Even though there's sad, and grief, and pain, she smiles and he smiles - they're not happy right now, but this will have to do.
He shifts a little in his place and both of them turn their heads to the gravestone in front of them.
The temperature was dropping and the sun was setting on this very sad Thursday afternoon.
He hugs her tightly and she doesn't need to look up to him to know that he's crying. He's crying for this man that saved his and his brother's life many years ago and taught them how to be a man. To be brave, to love freely and deeply, to be who he is right now.
She can't help but cry a little, too.
"Can we stay, just a little longer?"
She wants to say that they can't because everybody is waiting for them at their house, that it is not good for their health to stay outside without the proper attire but,
He needs her, he needs this and she's willing to do everything for him.
"Of course."
And they did.
R.I.P
Ralph Waite
X
"There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
bye bye"
(Asleep - The Smiths)
Reviews are appreciated!