Miscalculated
It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to hurt this badly. It wasn't supposed to hurt at all. And I still can't believe it does. It was only a one time thing. Something to relieve all this pent up tension. Something we hadn't planned. Something that would be forgotten. Something that would mean nothing in the morning.
But I broke the unspoken rule.
I fell in love with him.
I loved him before that, I realize this now. I had loved him for as long as I could remember. It just took all the hurt the morning after when he wasn't beside me anymore to realize that's what I felt for him. It's hard to argue with the people who call me stupid now. I can't agree, but I can't argue. I want to tell him I love him. I want to tell him I want to wake up next to him every morning until we die. Corny right? But it's the way I feel.
I act normal around him. Afraid he'll only push me away if I say anything. So I act completely normal. I still scowl at him. I still throw insults back and forth with him. But now they're hallow, meaningless phrases thrown together without any feeling behind them.
We're walking alone down the street, where the others went I couldn't tell you. I only have him in my view, like he's my savior or something. A Mona Lisa amongst graffiti. My eyes drawn to his beauty.
Egh. What the hell? I've got to get away from him for a while. He's making me sound like some sort of fucked up, love struck, wanna-be poet. The exact kind I hate. My scowl deepens.
Brown eyes connect with mine briefly.
I fight the urge to blush.
I desperately fight the urge to grab his hand.
I try to kill the insane urge to kiss him.
Me and my fucking hormones. I make another face. Yeah. I'll blame it on those bastards and just forget about this 'Love' thing swirling around in my stomach.
He stops suddenly and I run into him, white hair caressing my face, connecting with my own orange strands. And for a second I want to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his shoulder.
I jump back and glare at him instead. 'Good choice' I congratulate myself without any heart. "What the hell Haru! A little warning next time would be great!" I yell as he turns to face me. I've never been an actor of any skill, so I surprised myself when I sounded genuinely pissed. My half hearted voice applauds me again.
His face is the same impassive mask as always. No smile. No frown. Nothing. To someone who didn't know him, his eyes were also empty, bored, and uncaring. To me... in that moment... they looked sad. My heart skips a beat but I just look away.
That's when I notice the buildings, stores, and people look completely strange. I slap a hand against my forehead in frustration. Why had I decided he could lead? When had I decided he could lead? "Where the hell are we?" I almost scream. It still sounds like I did. "Damn it! If you were starting to get lost why didn't you say something!" He frowns.
"I didn't realize I was getting lost."
"When things stop looking familiar, you're getting lost!" My hands fly up into the air in frustration. "I give up. It's not like you'll listen anyway!" I huff, turn away from hurt eyes and storm away.
Ten minutes later, the buildings have become warehouse's, the people have become non-existent, and we're completely lost. "That rock looks familiar..." Haru mumbles. I just growl and sit down against a building. He sits next to me and the heat from his body makes my heart speed up. I ignore it.
"Hey Tomcat?"
"What is it Bessie?" I growl, letting the insult roll off me.
He sighs. "I miscalculated." I turn to him then. His eyes lock onto mine. I fight the heat I feel rising to my face.
"Miscalculated?"
His normally stoic face drops into a frown. "I miscalculated that night." My heart sinks. He regrets that night. He regrets ever touching me. "That night... you were supposed to fall in love with me." Suddenly I can no longer breathe and I feel my eyes widen as his hand brushes against mine tentatively. "But you ended up hating me."
I can't speak. I can't think. And before I can do anything, his lips crush against mine. His arms pull me on to his lap. And this time I don't fight the blush, I don't ignore the heart going crazy in my chest, and I don't push away the feelings building in my body. And when he moves to pull away, I pull him back. I let my lips say the things I can't bring myself to utter. My tongue slides over his softly, it explores his mouth and fights for dominance against his. His hands slid over my body, into my hair, and gently scrape against my skin. We break apart breathless, foreheads resting against each other. He smiles. I can't help but smile back.
"Don't assume things like that." I mutter. "You couldn't be more wrong."
Breaking free from his arms I stand up and look around. When I look back at him, his eyes are warm, soft and beautiful. I look away again and blush, offering a hand down to him. "We should probably try to find our way home." I growl. His warm hand takes mine.
We don't let go even after we rejoin the crowds on the street. I turn to him when a small chuckle makes it to my ears. He smiles, leans over and whispers into my ear. I blush and shove him away, walking ten feet in front of him the entire way home.
"Next time I won't even have to get you drunk first."
Eh. Just a stupid one-shot to pass my time. And give me a break from Butterfly. Ha ha. I really like the word miscalculated. It's like my favorite word of the day. Anyway, review and tell me what you thought.