Haha, well this was a random idea I came up with the other day. I don't know if it has been written yet regarding IshiHime, but I'm sorry if it has and it seems as if I'm "copying" or anything. Honestly, I haven't been reading any IshiHime fics lately. Anyway—woo disclaimers!—I do not own Bleach. If I did, Ishida would probably get mentally traumatized. Hehe.
He couldn't help but exhale out an abjectly desperate sigh—one in which ultimately expressed the contrite display of his uttermost exasperation.
It was a seemingly normal day—yet Uryu would have never expected Orihime pleadingly at his lone doorstep. The sun was a mild sunny yellow and the limitless white clouds were out—yet Uryu would have never expected Orihime asking him, of all people, for help.
And it was a peaceful Sunday afternoon of extreme relaxation, with no school and, weirdly enough, no hollows—yet what Uryu never, ever would have expected was Orihime asking him to take care of a random stray puppy for three days.
Indeed, a puppy.
What. The. Hell.
He wouldn't ever deny her help—besides, how could he with such a cute face like hers?—but this was just...
...out of the question.
Orihime had knocked on his door, and he had opened it hesitantly, yet warmly with heart aflutter, to her, but the thing on the ground at her feet instantly caught his keen blue gaze. A dog. Uryu eyed it suspiciously, and the hideous beast returned the glare with its own cautiously animalistic skeptical stare.
"Um, I'm really sorry to bother you Ishida-kun, but...uh, I need your help."
Help, hm? Well, Uryu was her man.
He mentally chuckled.
I like how that sounds.
"What would be the problem, Inoue-san?" He glanced down at the creature, then back into her compassionate gray eyes. They tragicomically melted him into a gallantly Quincy-fied white and blue puddle. Oh, she voraciously sucked him into her little whirlpool of utter incognizant Hime cuteness and he was already wrapped around her fair finger—this he knew. Damn. Mentally pointing at the little beast, he just hoped that her "issue" did not include that thing there sitting on the ground, staring up at him—it's little beady eyes agleam with a nervous tension.
"You're the first person I came to...and..."
Uryu rose a sleek black eyebrow. First, huh? He grinned, and he wasn't short of an ego-boost.
Inoue-Ishida: one. Inoue-Kurosaki: zero.
His ears instantly pricked to a high pitched noise. Consequently, it was a little whine from the animal at her side, and he nonchalantly glanced down at that beast once more. His once romantically optimistic thoughts were now pessimistically rained down upon by the pathetic noises emitting from the grungy heathen at her foot and his doorstep. Dammit all! He was in a happy place!
Uryu regained mental composure and even smiled lightly. "Yes?"
Orihime took a sharp intake of air, ready to elaborate in all but one breath.
"Ishida-kun, well...okay, so, I found this dog here," she pointed down at it, but it continued mad-dogging (haha pun) up at him, "in a box near the automatic door to the supermarket today and he looked so cute"—narrowing his eyes, Uryu quickly thought otherwise—"but he didn't have a collar or anything, and he looked so lonely by himself, and I figured he was a stray. And...I sort of...took him with me because he looked hungry. And so..."
Uryu didn't like where this conversation was going, only because he knew where this conversation was going. So, he decidedly chose to play dumb. Well, for him, "dumb" never applied to anything he did or said, but, ah, what the hell. It was always a first for everything, right?
With his eyes shielded by the bright glare of his glasses, he looked down at her.
Uryu sounded reluctant.
"Inoue-san...how exactly does this apply to me?"
Upon hearing the immediate question, Orihime pursed her lips shyly, and slightly glanced her gray eyes away. She modestly nibbled on her bottom lip, while scrunching her eyebrows together as if she was seriously contemplating something important—which she was, technically. He veraciously hoped it was important, and that didn't regard that animal at her side; already exasperated, he inwardly sighed as Orihime started to speak while stroking an imaginary goatee with a perplexed air.
His fate was already written out—and he was smitten with her.
"Um, I was wondering if...you could take care of him for a few days."
And with that, she smiled and humbly tilted her head to the side.
"Ehhhhh."
Okay, now he sounded dumb—and it was almost humorous.
He gulped, and his heart abnormally skipped a needy beat. A few days? Why couldn't she take care of it—or him, as she said—herself? Why a dog? He didn't even like dogs! Where would it sleep? What would it eat? Where would the mangy thing relieve itself?! And it had to be walked?—even shown some type of affection to? Did Uryu look like the kind of person to take care of an animal that looked like it, if it could, would assassinate him mercilessly in his sleep?
For reasons unknown, that little dog held a deep vendetta for him, and Uryu could sense it.
Orihime read the mixed expressions on his blanched, bespectacled face. Pleadingly contrite, she grasped her hands together in front of her chest...which he couldn't help but perversely glance at—and his rationality clicked in. His dark blue eyes snapped back up to meet her own sincere gray ones. The hell was the matter with him?—Uryu silently chastised himself, while mentally slapping himself in the face.
Ugh, dumb-ass, looking at her—
"Oh, please, Ishida-kun! I can't take care of him right now, but just for two or three days! I promise he's not bad, and he doesn't bite!—well, ok, not a lot anyway—but, he's really friendly once he gets used to you. See, look! I only have a few bites!"
She rose her left hand up, and lo and behold, it was covered in dry bloodstained band-aids.
Uryu's eyes dilated.
"Inoue-san!—How could you just pick up a stray from the street as it bites you, and then take it home—er, to my home? And, I-Inoue-san, did you even mind to disinfect any of those cuts before you put bandages over them?"
Despite the deep fondness—love, he would later conclude—he felt for her, he still couldn't believe some of the irrelevant things she managed to achieve so blindly. By bringing that apparently biting beast—and no doubt it was full of fleas and other untouchable vermin—to his doorstep, those infectious viral cuts under the band-aids layered over her fingers could be harboring the thick prolific roots of...
...rabies...
Uryu's heart almost stopped.
She sensed, if not obviously saw, his paralyzed shock. But, she bounced back with a hearty laugh. She was extremely resilient, of course.
"Oh, yeah, I did. You're really silly, Ishida-kun, you don't have to worry! I used those little moist sanitized towel thingies...y'know, the ones for the handles of the shopping carts! They kinda burned...and somehow I managed to get one in my eye, but yeah, I'm clean!"
Uryu's left eye twitched.
She is...'clean'?
Orihime punched the air triumphantly, causing him to slightly jump and blush at the cheeks. The latter, he didn't really know why. Most things he never knew after Orihime had her irrelevant ways with them.
Well nonetheless, that had calmed him. Enough, anyway. Uryu was content that she used some type of sanitation, though he would mentally note to remember to invite her into his apartment and have her thoroughly wash her hands, while actually use some cleansing hydrogen peroxide (haha horrible Bleach pun), and then re-bandage her poor, poor fingers.
Uryu gulped silently, and his current situation regressed back—back, to that furry beast.
Orihime looked up at him modestly, and even if he thought it, and even if he could convince himself to deny her request, he couldn't. Oh, he failed ever so horribly as he stood gazing at her as she bobbed up and down on the heels of her feet. He gulped again. He would never have labeled himself as a pervert before he had formally started to "hang out" with her...but now...as she swayed up and down continuously in front of him so carelessly...Uryu's dark blue eyes traveled lower than they probably should have...
Gah! Dammit! No, no, no!—
"So...Ishida-kun..." Her speech was slow and inquisitive, and it was almost tantalizing as it entered his acute ears, bringing him back to the present. "...could you...take care of him? Just until Wednesday?"
"A-Ah...?"
He opened his mouth—no doubt sounding like an idiot again—but he immediately closed it, attempting to register his running thoughts.
Yes, of course Inoue-san, or, That would be fine, Inoue-san, but only until Wednesday. Or even a random totally out of character, Hell yeah, babe, only for you!
Uryu instantly cringed at the latter, but he finally got his mouth moving, and connected the two formers. Starkly, he was so pathetic...he cleared his throat submissively.
"Yes of course, Inoue-san, that would be...fine—but only until Wednesday, as you said. However, I have some questions regarding the...dog."
Dog. Oh, how that word pained him.
Orihime seemed happy at this, and he noticed—the only reason why he could was because her arms instantly wrapped around him in the tightest hug he had ever been constricted with in his life. Though mentally, he did leap for joy—she had never hugged him before, or rather, gave him any physical affection...well, there was that one time she had congratulatory slapped his ass after scoring a touchdown in their school's coed Physical Education version American football, much like those sportsmanlike Americans did after scoring points or winning...but that was another story in itself—one he actually didn't want to think, talk, or imagine. But, just to put it lightly, it freaked the hell out of him.
Withal—yet now slightly perturbed—he was still happy. He grinned crookedly.
Inoue-Ishida: two. Inoue-Kurosaki: zero.
"Yay! Alrighty Ishida-kun, ask away! Thank you sooooo much, you're so amazing,"—heh, amazing she says—"oh, I'll have to thank you some other way somehow, but, oh, yes! Questions! Please, whatever you need to know!"
He sighed lightly—lightly enough not to reveal more of his exasperation, or even any of his smitten-ness—and began to choose one of many questions to ask the compassionate girl who just picked up random animals off the street due to the goodness of her big heart. He began with the more practical one.
"Does it—he—have a name?" More reluctance emitted from his lips.
This time, she didn't have an immediate answer.
"...I...don't really know. He didn't have a collar, like I said...and he didn't really respond to any of the names I came up with, though he did wag his cute little tail when I came up with 'Little Salmon Sailboat-kun'...but I honestly don't think that's his name. But he's just a puppy so...uhm...you can name him if you want to! Yeah, I really owe it to you!"
Oh yes, and Uryu wanted to die. No, she didn't owe anything to him—but she looked so happy standing there with that little heathen! Damn everything all to hell...
"Uh, okay, Inoue-san. I will once I find the, eh, perfect name"—just anything to make her happy, he kept telling himself, it will all be over soon—"Alright, then there are some other things I need to ask—" he paused, then continued after she motioned a cheerful smiled at him, "—do you have any food for him?"
"Oh, yes, about that," Uryu braced himself for another one of her stories, but he couldn't help but softly smile, "so, I was on my way to the market to buy some fish paste, salt, peanut butter chocolate chips, soy beans, and pomegranates, and I find the dog, right?"—he nodded in agreement—"So then I said, 'Oh, look, a little dog!', and I go and pet him, and he bites me! He bit me Ishida-kun!"
He wanted to reply with a cold Oh, so should I dispose of it then?, but kept his mouth shut, knowing that it would probably hurt her feelings if she were to find out how vehement he felt against the little thing at her feet. Though, he couldn't help but empathize with the animal—it was rather overwhelming with Orihime bounding towards you head-on; he would know how it felt.
"...But it was alright—I found those towel things remember?"—he nodded again—"and then I noticed that he was all alone, so I decided that I would take him home with me. I've always wanted a pet, and ever since I was about five years old I've wanted a dog, but I only had this make-believe beta fishy—wait, oh yeah, you wanted to know about food, sorry Ishida-kun—he looked really really hungry, so I went into the store to buy something to eat, but then, well...oh, I'm so horrible!"
Orihime looked down, somewhat ashamedly. And Uryu, for once, didn't know what to do. Comfort her? Was he even allowed to do that? He looked around at their surroundings—they were still outside, at his doorstep, and he wondered how long they had been standing out there together. Even though he already detested the animal that was so quietly sitting there—no doubt it was hungry—his gentle side went into overdrive.
Yes, outside his frozen exterior, Ishida Uryu was a nice person. It was just that nobody was ever there long enough to chip off the ice fused to his shoulders—especially since when after he would help someone, he normally just told them to go away. But...Orihime was a different story.
"Yes, Inoue-san? Then what?—" Uryu's voice was soft, then interrupted; her head shot up and met his eyes. What she said next instantly brought pity upon the little dog at her heels.
"Ishida-kun, I spend all of my food money on the vending machine!"
And that killed it. How much could a person spend on one of those things? But it was very Orihime—he couldn't deny that, of all things. She was so harebrained! But he did always love that about her...
"So...that means he doesn't have food?"
That was the original question, right?
She frowned in self disappointment, tightly pressing her full lips together in a negative tilt at both sides, with eyebrows scrunched.
"...no."
Alright then. He couldn't fight things, but just flow with them. This was one of the many lessons one learned with Orihime as such a close friend. Damn. He inwardly cringed. Ouch. Close and friend in one sentence that contained Orihime hurt.
"That's fine, Inoue-san, it's fine...I'll just have to...find something."
"Ishida-kun, thank you! You're so sweet! I know it's pretty stupid wasting money on vending machines, but there was this really cool little keychain thingy and I really wanted it but it was at the top and...oh yeah, another question?"
"This one regards sleeping arrangements—" Instantly, his brain conscientiously regained a memory, and began to check off his mental note, "Oh, yes, before I get into that, please, I think we should continue this inside. Um, and, I guess..."
Uryu was going to hate himself for this—as well, so would his flawless, stainless carpet.
"...he can come inside."
He couldn't help but exhale out an abjectly desperate sigh—one in which ultimately expressed the contrite display of his uttermost exasperation.
Ah snap, Quincy Archer is a perv! (dude I don't even know if this is even fully IshiHime) He is so hopeless though xD
I was getting bored so I cut the chapter off, mah bad. I dunno know how often I will update this...it's just like a side-project of mine, but I'll see what I can do. Please review! Would be greatly appreciated! Tell me if it had typos, grammatical errors, OoC-ness, and the like. Or just tell me it flat-out sucked. It's all good. Criticism is fun. Kinda. Not really. Please tell me if it was *more-or-less* funny. I'm getting back into my humor side :D