A friend and I had a conversation about this on AIM. And...And...I regret nothing. Head of the complaint department is Hellen Wait. So go to Hellen Wait.
Vergil had been minding his own business, enjoying a cup of coffee and a book on higher necromancing rituals; in truth, simply enjoying the days as well as Vergil would allow himself, when stomping sounded from the direction of the back stairs, and he sighed, already seeing the day take a downward turn. Of course Dante would choose that particular moment to emerge from his 'cave'. Of course he would.
He made a noise in the back of his throat and turned a page of the book sitting at the edge of his lap, and the door leading to the back rooms of the building swung open. Vergil refused to look up; he did! He wasn't going to give Dante the attention he was so adamantly stomping for. The stomping continued, right up until Vergil could see bare toes over the top of his book, and he scowled, bringing it a little higher to obscure them. Stupid little brother, couldn't he see Vergil was busy.
"Hey, Verg." Vergil twitched, but gave no other outward sign of having heard Dante. He wouldn't. That would be giving into the begging. "Ver. Gil. Pay attention, this is important." And still Vergil said nothing, keeping his eyes fixated on the pages before him, though he'd read the same sentence three times over, and still hadn't taken in a word of it.
The book was jerked from his hands and tossed over Dante's shoulder, and it clattered to the ground as Vergil's head jerked up, snarl in place, eyes already darkening to pitch and crimson when...He realized. There stood Dante. In a tiara, a smile...And absolutely nothing else. Not a stitch of clothing on his scrawny mangy body, and the growl that had started in Vergil's throat died to a choking sound.
What in hell?
And he could do nothing but gape, as Dante planted his feet and braced his hands on his hips, swaying side to side from them. He had no idea what had possessed the fool to do something so...Shameful, but he guaranteed it would be the last time it would happen. If he could just...Move, that was, as he'd frozen in place, mouth hanging open in horror, eyes unwillingly traveling downward where Dante's...Manhood swung to and fro almost hypnotically.
It took a force of will to shake it off and pull his eyes back to Dante's face, which held a knowing air of mischeviousness.
"Yeah, that got your attention, didn't it, asshole?" Dante's grin grew, fangs all on display. And still Vergil could say nothing, gaping like the idiot he was and...Was Dante making it spin? What the hell was wrong with him.
The fuzzy ball curled up in his lap, up until that point forgotten about by Vergil and unseen by Dante, stirred, getting to its tiny feet and stretching, before letting out a massive yawn for such a tiny body. Mismatched eyes - blue and green - blinked, before the movement caught its attention, and it froze, fixated upon it. Vergil glanced down at that, his face finally unlocking from the rigor mortis of his horror, and a small knowing smile started.
A few seconds passed, while the kitten's tail twitched back and forth against Vergil's abdoment, about the time Dante saw it, and saw its intentions as its tiny body coiled to spring, but it was too late. The kitten pounced, claws coming unsheathed, and Dante let out a howl as they sank into parts that weren't meant for that kind of treatment.
Dante dropped like a felled elephant, and Vergil's smile grew, before he rose to his feet and gathered up his coffee cup. And as Dante's shrieks followed him into the kitchen, he supposed the day hadn't been a total waste after all.