AN: This story is the first part of the More Than You Think You Are series. This series will be a number of one shots based on lines (or sometimes entire songs) by Matchbox Twenty. I thought it would be a good way to branch out my writing.
I want to throw this out there that this was the first time I've written either of these characters in a staring role...and I admit that Brittany is a just a bit OOC, but she does have a few Brittany moments.I'm still trying to find my footing with these characters but I'd like to work with them again so if there is something that needs to be tweeked, let me know.
I don't own Glee and the song this fic is based off of is "Leave" which belongs to Rob Thomas and Matchbox Twenty.
R&R!
I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
It wasn't exactly the way Santana had planned for the evening to go. What she planned for was making out with Brittany in her bedroom for a couple hours before her parents came home. What she'd planned for was feeling the way Brittany's skin felt underneath her fingers and the way her own skin felt like fireworks when Brit slid her hand up her shirt. She wanted her girl. Not the conversation they ended up having.
"San," Brittany said pulling away from Santana just as the Latina had begun planting kisses along the blondes neck.
"Yeah baby," Santana whispered the lusty look in her eyes not lost on the other, less perceptive, Cheerio.
"Can we talk first?"
"Uh," Santana said really hoping for a little less talk and a hell of a lot more action, "Sure."
Santana took Brittany's hand and led her over to her bed. Santana sat, one leg tucked underneath the other. Brittany sat down opposite her, her legs tucked under her in a similar manner. But Brittany focused not on Santana, but on the her fidgeting hands that sat in her lap.
"Britt what's wrong?" Santana inquired reaching to stop Brittany's fidgeting hands.
The blonde looked up at the brunette, "Do you remember the time I accidentally told most of the glee club that we were having sex?"
"Yes," Santana responded.
"And remember how everyone was just kind of okay with it?"
"Yeah Britt. Where are you going with this?"
"Right here."
"No Britt. Why are you telling me this?"
"Oh," Brittany said, " I want to go to winter formal."
"Ok."
"I want to go with you."
Santana sighed, "We've been over this Brittany."
"But it won't be as bad as you think it will."
"Brittany, we're Cheerios. We can' t go to the dance together."
"Santana if Kurt is bringing Sam there is no reason that we can't go."
"I can think of plenty."
"Like what?"
"Like Coach Sylvester will probably kick us off the Cheerios. My parents will freak. So will yours."
"I told them. All of it."
"What? What if they tell my parents?"
"They won't. You need to stop being awkward."
"What?"
"You know, you're awkward. About us being together."
"Ashamed?" I'm not ashamed."
"Then what is it then San? The glee club doesn't care."
"The glee club does nothing for my popularity."
"So that's all you care about? Your popularity?"
"You know I care about you."
"But not enough to admit we're together?"
"You know that's not true."
"Not anymore. Things need to change."
"They're not going to Brit. I thought you understood that."
"I did. But it doesn't make sense anymore Santana. Maybe I need to go somewhere else," Brittany said standing up, trying to keep her voice steady, but failing.
"Britt.." Santana said following her off the bed.
"No San. I can't keep doing this. We're great when we're around the glee club, or when we're alone. But the second I suggest going public, coming out, being OURSELVES you freeze up."
"It's not as easy for me as it is for you. You don't have my parents, you don't have my reputation."
"Screw them all Santana! You've been telling me for years that you don't care what they think."
"Because they fear me. If I go out there and tell everyone that I'm your girlfriend they don't fear me, they laugh and they tease and I end up like Rachel Berry. Just something to be laughed at."
"So then we're not doing this?"
"No. I'm sorry Britt but we're not."
"Then I'm sorry," Brittany said her voice nearly choking her as she struggled to keep her sadness from coming through.
"Britt."
"No San. I'm tired of this. I can't do this anymore."
Brittany only hesitated for a second before turning away from Santana for the first time in her life. She rushed down the stairs and out the front door. She'd forgotten she'd been dropped off but was thankful she didn't live far, and for the time to clear her head, even during a cold Lima December.
Alone inside her house, Santana stood in the middle of her room and cried. Sobs escaped her body and eventually she had to move back to her bed. She hadn't felt this sad since Coach Sylvester nearly pulled the Cheerios out of Nationals because she wouldn't get out of bed. But now she felt the same way, like she didn't want any other part of the world outside that bedroom. But when her parents came through the front door, Santana quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and reapplied the make up that had dissolved with her tears. When she met them she was their happy, heterosexual daughter.
Santana tried to convince her mother that she was sick the next morning but her mother just went on about the importance of a stunning academic record. And it was the week before the holiday concert the glee club was doing and even Santana's mother knew Rachel would kill her if she missed rehearsal, especially after getting a solo in Baby Please Come Home.
So she went to school and it seemed like Santana had entered a world she was a stranger to. The only one who seemed to acknowledge her presence was Quinn but now that Q was back on the Cheerios, it was her turn to suck up to Captain Lopez.
The two passed by Brittany who was talking and laughing with Artie and Tina, like nothing was wrong. Like she wasn't feeling the same gnawing pain inside her that meant she was missing the most important person in her life, her best friend, her girlfriend. The girls continued to walk passed the trio.
"Santana. Is something going on with you and Brit?" Quinn asked.
Santana pushed down the pain that was currently consuming her, "Nope. Nothing at all."
Luckily Quinn dropped it after that. But later Santana broke down in the girls washroom before glee rehearsal. This was a lot harder than any other break up she'd dealt with and Santana thought that maybe it was because Brittany was different and with Brittany things were different. Sure, there were things wrong with their relationship, but never did she think that Brit would get tired of their situation, or of her. She stared at the stall door in front of her. Santana didn't want to see Brittany, she didn't want to hurt but glee started in ten minutes and Rachel would freak if she wasn't there. But she knew that Rachel would freak out more if she couldn't sing Saturday. So she sent a text to the glee president herself stating that it would be best if she not sing and be ready on Saturday. And thankfully Rachel agreed. So Santana threw herself out of the stall and headed to the parking lot.
She drove home listening to the mix CD that Brittany had made for them that she hadn't taken out of the car yet. At the intersection before her house, Santana made a decision. The song playing was O-Town's "All or Nothing" the song the two loved when they were eight. And instead of heading straight towards home, Santana signaled and turned right instead, heading straight towards the mall.
It was Friday and Santana was able to convince her mother that she was indeed sick. When her parents left she immediately went to work confirming all the pieces would be in place and when her dad called to tell her that he and her mother were going to a function that night and would be home late, Santana was happy she wouldn't have to climb out the window later.
When seven o'clock rolled around Santana was ready to go as she climbed down the stairs and left the house. Getting into her car in her shiny silver dress Santana had one destination in mind: William McKinley High School.
When she arrived she entered to find the hallways vacant but she could hear the music coming from the gym and made her way in that direction. As she opened the door the music got louder and as she stepped into the gym her eyes scanned across the sea of people. She saw Rachel coming towards her out of the corner of her eye and was thankful when Puck grabbed her around the waist to reel her in. Santana really couldn't be bothered with the extra glee rehearsal tomorrow morning that Puck had already told her about. And then she spotted her, stunning and gorgeous in her red dress, her hair up in tight curls. She was dancing with Mike and Santana wasted no time making her way towards the two. Mike spotted her first and immediately moved away from the blonde. Brittany looked confused until she saw Santana and her face now reads shocked.
"San. What are you doing?"
"Not caring what they think."
"I don't understand."
"I don't care if they laugh or tease. Let them. All I know is that all of that isn't any worse than not being with you. Because you are my girl," Santana said grabbing Brittany by the waist and pulling her flush against her body, "And I don't ever want to see you dancing with Mike again."
"What about your parents?"
"I'll deal with them. But we're good right?"
"Yeah, we're good," Brittany said at the exact moment Santana pulled the blonde's head down and kissed her in front of most of the WMHS student body.
When she broke the kiss, Santana leaned her forehead against Brittany's.
"Do you want to leave?" Britt said.
"Only with you," Santana said looking up and her girlfriend who nodded.
Santana grabbed Brittany's hand and led them towards the door she'd entered just moments before.
"I'll be there in the morning Berry," Santana called when she saw Rachel trying to approach her again.
The girls hoped into Santana's car and drove back to the Lopez house where the evening went just like San had hoped the first night would. And when Mr. and Mrs. Lopez catch the girls, naked with Santana's head between Brittany's legs, Santana can't bring herself to car. She had Brittany and she could finally be who she was, to everyone.