"In five, four, three, two!" Freddie cued us to start the show.
"I'mma be Carly…" Carly beamed.
"I'mma be Sam…" I grinned.
"AND THIS IS iCARLY!" We yelled in unison.
"To open the show for us, please welcome to the studio…" Carly started.
"The return of my cousin -" I continued.
"-the one who isn't in jail-" Carly interjected.
"Greg Patillo, the beat-boxing flute-playing superstar!" I gestured to the giant coffee cup behind us, and Greg popped up from the inside and began to play.
"Woo!" Carly cheered. I started to dance along, and Carly followed suit.
"Thank you for that awesome intro, Greg!" Carly smiled. "And thank you to my brother, Spencer, for creating that giant coffee cup!"
"Filled with real coffee!" I put in.
"What do I do now?" Greg asked.
"Get outta here, Greg!" I yelled. He jumped out of the cup, and ran out the door, flute-playing and beat-boxing.
"That boy doesn't know how to stop." Freddie rolled his eyes.
"Hey, no talking from the co-worker, Frederina!"
"No talking from the juvi girl, Sam… dork."
"And that's why you're behind the camera!" I decided to re-use one of my old attacks. Couldn't hurt.
"Moving on!" Carly interrupted before things got out of hand, as usual. "Every week, we get thousands of emails from iCarly fans all over the world!"
"So we thought we'd answer a couple, so you don't get angry and wreck our studio!" I said, way to optimistically for the line. Purposely, of course. This is iCarly, isn't it?
"Just like those evil Petographers!" Carly moved in close to the camera. "Chocopops wants to know, is it possible to glue a handful of wet cabbage to a wall with chili? Weird question, Chocopops, but…" Carly gestured to me to finish.
"Lets! Find! Out!" I punched the air with each syllable. "I'd eat that chili." I added in quickly, because now I wanted some chili so bad, but the show doesn't finish for another twenty minutes.
"Freddie, roll the clip!" Carly asked.
"Playback." Freddie clicked a few buttons on his computer.
I wish everything was still like that.
"What am I gonna do?" I tried to keep the anxiety out of my voice, but I couldn't.
"Go talk to him," Carly said softly. "Tell him everything you told me."
"Why don't you go talk to him for me?"
"Because I can't, Sam. You know that."
"But you're my best friend! Isn't this what best friends do for each other?"
"Ugh!" Carly groaned. "You know how much I do for you, and this time you're on your own."
"Please?"
"No." And her tone was so fierce that my eyes widened. This time, I was on my own.
I sighed. "I'm doing this for you, Carls. Is he still at the Groovy Smoothie?"
"I think, I'll go check his apartment. Wait here and don't do anything stupid." I watched as Carly left. Carly. My best friend. The girl I'd be proud to call my sister. So soft, and girly and weak, but that didn't and never mattered to me. I loved Carly. What would I do without her? The sound of someone yelling, and then a door slamming loudly shocked me out of my thinking. I knew what was up immediately. Carly marched back into the apartment, looking furious.
"Mrs. Benson?" I put a hand on Carly's shoulder.
"Yuh huh!" she exclaimed.
"What now?"
"Well, I knock on the door and ask to see Freddie, right?"
"Right…"
"And she starts full on screaming at me about how bad an influence me and you are on him, and all he does is talk about girls, and how she would never let us see Freddie if we 'kept it up!'"
"That's a bit extreme, isn't it?"
"Yeah. But anyway, Freddie's at the Groovy Smoothie. Go talk to him, please." Carly pleaded. "I'm really worried about him." I pulled my jacket on, and was half-way out the door when Carly called after me.
"Stay blonde."
"Stay brown!" I yelled back, but she couldn't hear me.
The Groovy Smoothie was almost empty, except for someone familiar sitting at a table. The music was turned up loud. Weird. It vaguely reminded me of when I walked in here last year and found Carly and Freddie dancing. I had felt something strange when I saw them. Now, I realized, it was jealousy. I wanted to be the one in Freddie's arms. But I didn't even like him. Then. Here, in the present, I knew that there was something between us. It didn't have to be love, or friendship, all I knew is that there was some sort of connection between us, and all of that sounded like something out of an awful chick-flick. I knew what I wanted. And mama was gonna get it. I yanked open the door of the smoothie shop, and flinched at the annoying little bell sound. How could I sneak up on Freddie if the stupid bell gave me away? I marched up to his table, and leant over, with my hands spread out. I stared at Freddie, hoping he would look up. He didn't.
"Yo, Fredweenie? You in there?" I tapped the side of his head.
"Keep your hands off of me, Puckett." He growled back.
"What?" My voice softened, and he noticed. I sunk down in the chair in front of me. This was gonna be awkward. I sighed.
"Freddie, what's the problem?" I tried to keep my voice quiet and soft, like Melanie and Carly talk. It didn't work as smoothly as I would have wished. My voice cracked a few times.
"You. You are my problem, Sam." His voice was so cold, I felt like shuddering.
"What'd I do?"
"You have pushed me around, embarrassed me, attacked me – verbally and physically – and done everything in your power to make me feel like a loser. And congratulations, Puckett, you've succeeded."
"I…I.." I stuttered. What could I say?
"What you do to me, everyday, its more than a normal person should be able to take." He continued.
"Well, good thing you're not normal?" I tried to make a joke out of it, but it turned into a question.
"That's exactly what I mean! You can't say one sentence without trying to insult me. And I am so sick of it! I am so…" he didn't finish, instead he clenched his teeth, and curled his fingers into fists. This was my chance.
"Freddie, I only came in here for a reason. And that reason was to try and reverse the past. Which will never ever happen. Only if they invent time-travel, which they probably won't. And so if you aren't gonna take three seconds to listen to me, I'm just gonna go, okay? Will that make you happy?" My eyes felt tight, like I was going to cry. Freddie's never seen me cry. A thought occurred to me. Maybe if he sees me cry, then he'll forgive me. Maybe if he sees that tough, angry Sam Puckett can cry for someone, maybe if he sees that tough, angry Sam Puckett can feel guilt, and can regret things she's done, maybe he'll forgive me. Or at least listen to me!
But I wasn't going to take that chance. I brushed the top of his hand with mine, hoping it looked like an accident. I spun around so fast that I almost knocked over a chair, and then raced out of the smoothie shop. I hoped to hear footsteps behind me. There was none. I let one little tear escape. I watched it fall to the ground. And then another, and another. I couldn't stop the tears. I wanted Carly with me. I wanted her to hold me and let me cry, and tell me everything is going to be alright. I wanted Melanie with me, so she could use her logic to help me think of a way out of this mess. I wanted Spencer with me, so we could laugh and talk and forget all our problems. There were so many things I wanted right now, but so many things I wasn't going to get. I wiped away my tears and sat down on the pavement. I needed to think. But I couldn't. Because I had heard the annoying chime from the Groovy Smoothie door. And as far as I knew, Freddie was the only one in there. I noticed footsteps behind me. I noticed someone sitting down beside me.
"You have thirty seconds." Freddie said coldly.
"I..I.." I stuttered again, not knowing how to start.
"Hurry up, Puckett. I actually have a life."
"I, well, I, I've always been a tough person, y'know? Picking on younger kids, that sort of stuff. I only started being a moron to you because you were all gigabyte this and hard-drive that and you seemed like an easy target so I started being a pest. It was only really after I saw you and Carly dancing in the Groovy Smoothie that I thought long and hard about us, and realized that we were never gonna be, and that I've gone over thirty seconds haven't I?"
"Uh, yeah, you have, but… go on. This is interesting." I noticed Freddie's voice had lightened a little.
"Well, I figured that if we were never gonna be some sort of Item, I thought that I had nothing to lose by still being a pain. So I kept it up longer and harder than ever. And then I saw you snap and I thought to myself, what have I done? So I talked to Carly who told me to talk to you and so here I am right now, and all I want is for you to forgive me, and so we might have a chance at someday being an item like you see in all the movies because I realized now that this is what I want!" I couldn't help it. Tears started to fall out of my eyes again. I wanted them to stop. They wouldn't. "I don't want many things, Freddie, I never have. But ever since I met you I knew I wanted one thing." I didn't bother to tell him what I wanted, he could guess himself.
"Sam, are… are you crying?" He reached out two fingers, and wiped a tear off my face. "Oh god, you are!"
"Not often you see the tough girl cry, eh?" I moved his hand from my face. More tears gushed from my eyes. Stupid tear-ducts. Freddie looked at me, long and hard. It was like he was trying to see all of me at once, but he couldn't. His eyes dropped when he realized that I was giving him a questioning look.
"I, uh, Fre..edd..ie.." my word were stopped by more tears. Freddie put his arms around me and held me close.
"Not often you see the victim comfort the bully, eh?" he whispered in my ear. That only induced more tears. What was wrong with me? I put my arms around Freddie's neck and cried into his shoulder.
"Freddie, I'm ruining your shirt." I looked up at him.
"We have a washing machine." I didn't reply. I let the tears pour out of my eyes like they were a tsunami. Freddie pulled away.
"This isn't right." He frowned.
"Huh?"
"I feel funny."
I frowned back. "What, your gonna throw up? Cause if you are, lemme get out of here first." I started to stand up, but he grabbed my arm and kept me down.
"No, I'm not gonna be sick. But the thought that just ran through my head makes me wanna be sick."
"Oh."
"Look, just because I'm not dating Carly anymore doesn't exactly make it alright to date you instead!"
"Just listen to me, Freddie. I don't want to date you. I want us to be close, but not together or anything."
"Isn't that what you…?" Freddie looked confused.
"I meant before that I wanted to give up on the whole 'we hate each other' charade, and just admit that we do have feelings for each other!"
"Now I'm really confused, Sam. You just said that you didn't want us to be together, then you said that you wanted me to admit that I have feelings for you, ultimately making us 'together…..ish'."
"Yeah, I got no idea what I'm talking about now." I admitted.
"Sam…" Freddie sighed. "I'm not denying that I feel something for you… that isn't hatred. But you need to understand, that we can't be together, or date, or anything!"
"I do understand, Freddie, and I'm gonna tell you right now tha-" my phone beeped, a message from Carly. "I've gotta go, Freduccini. See you at school tomorrow."
"Oh…" he looked at his feet.
"You alright?"
"Oh, yeah, it's just that ever since we first kissed, this has been the first time we've actually talk-talked."
"Talk-talked?"
He chuckled under his breath, and his eyes looked a little distant, like he was thinking of something. I noticed his hand was still on my arm. I shook it off, and got up to leave.
"Sam, wait." He said a little anxiously. My eyes narrowed. What was he playing at now? He stood up, and put one hand on my shoulder. I looked around, uncomfortably.
"Just…" he didn't finish. He leaned in, and I panicked.
"Freddie, I-"
"Shhh.." and he pressed his lips to mine. It was an awkward moment. I didn't want to be a part of it. But I wasn't going to ruin it for him. I let him finish kissing me. Once he pulled away, his eyes dropped, embarrassed.
"Freddie!" I groaned. He looked up at me, a little sheepishly. "Awww… little Freddie's embarrassed!" I giggled. He laughed with me.
"Oh, come here, you!" I gave in, and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. "We gonna tell Carly about this?"
"We probably have to. I don't want you to blurt it out under laughing gas again." But he didn't sound cheerful anymore. I wondered why.
"Yeah… that was… a bit… off…" I pulled away from him, and turned to leave. The last image I registered was Freddie with his hands covering his face. But I didn't care. I walked faster and turned into a run. I raced back into Bushwell Plaza. I ignored the screeching from Lewbert, and cheerfully clicked my heels really loudly, just to annoy him. I took the steps by threes. Carly was just closing the door to her apartment. I jammed my hand in the door as she closed it, and wrenched it open. Boy, did I have a story to tell her.