These characters do not belong even though I wish they did...they belong to Kurt Sutter

Watching her laying there anyone would think that she was sleeping, but I knew better than that. I had spent almost every night in the same bed with her since I was fifteen. She always tosses and turns when she sleeps, always waking me up by hitting me in the head or some shit like that. It wasn't until we were sixteen that I realized if I held her through the night then she would stay still. But now in this very moment sitting in the hard chair next to her bed I wish that she would start tossing around. That would mean that she was just sleep and would wake up at any moment not unconscious.

This is my fault. That's all I've been thinking of for the last three hours. The doctor keeps coming in to check on her, but there's no change. He keeps asking me if there is someone that he can call. I am her someone. Her mom died when we were nine and her dad is the one that kicked her out. That was my fault too. None of this would have happened if I had let her go when she had the chance, but I was too selfish and now she was the one paying the price. I was still waiting for Opie to find Gemma. Someone needs to be here if she wakes up and I need to find the people that did this to her, there was no way that there wasn't going to be retaliation. The door opened again, probably just another stupid nurse coming in for the millionth time.

"They are waiting for you before they do anything." Gemma said putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Someone needs to stay here incase..."

"I'll stay, you go and take care of this" she said cutting me off.

I got up and walked to the door without ever looking her in the eyes. I was almost out the door when I heard the question I didn't want to think about.

"Did they say anything about…"

"yeah its gone" I say without turning to face her and continue to stalk out the door.

This has been the longest day of my life and I knew it was just the beginning.

On the long drive to the clubhouse all I could think of was everything they ruined. Fifteen years. We have known each other for fifteen years. She was my everything. I was there for her when her mom died and she was there for me in the same way years later when my dad died. She supported me through the trails of the club even when she didn't believe they were right. She wasn't my first but she was supposed to be my last. The last two years were filled with the biggest highs and lows for us. We were fighting more then ever, but we would always make up and that was worth it. She was the first girl to ride on the back of my bike. Was the person I was arrested with the first three times I was arrested. Starting at fifteen her dad's drinking got over the top and she started spending every night at my place. Mom and Clay knew but they wouldn't say anything, they knew she was safer in our home. We both always knew that there was something there but I didn't want to mess up the best relationship in my life. Girls wouldn't stick around me very long which was the way I liked it. Once they saw that they weren't going to replace her and that she would always come first they gave up and hit the road. I never brought anyone home, that was a place only for her. The other girls would be taken at the clubhouse and after a few good rounds they would be gone. It's crazy how one night can change everything.

Her and Opie's girl of the moment, Amanda, went out to the bar. They never had to worry about getting carded because everyone knew how close they were to SAMCRO. It was after three in the morning and I was surprised that she still hadn't shown up, but I left the window open for her and my cell phone on incase the bartender called me to pick her up. I was almost asleep when I heard her fall through the window knocking over the chair and everything on it. She laughed long and hard as I moved to help her up and over to the bed.

"You have a good time with Amanda?" I ask not hiding the smile because I already knew the answer.

"That bitch is such a lightweight she was under the table hours ago, but I ran into Jenny and had a few drinks with her. I need to talk to Opie about his selection in girls yet again.

I smile and lay her down on her side of the bed, taking off her shoes and socks as she talks. I lift the cover up over her before going to lie down next to her so that we are staring eye to eye. We laid there in silence for a while. She smelled like beer and smoke, not a usual smell for her but I liked it.

"You know you have really beautiful eyes did you know that?"

"A compliment from you, you must be wasted" I chuckle. She doesn't answer. She pushed herself off the bed and her lips crash onto mine, her tongue thrusting itself into my mouth. I can taste the mingle of alcohol and I know I need to stop this, but I can't break away, her lips are soft and urgent at the same time. We have made out before, actually we had done more than just make out before on a few occasions, mostly when we are both drunk but we pass out before it gets out of hand. She didn't show any sign that she was going to pass out anytime soon tonight. She pushed herself up so that she was lying on top of me and it took everything in me to push her away. Her lips were red and swollen it made me want to pull her back down and continue where we left off but I resisted the urge.

"What are you doing?" I couldn't help but laugh at the annoyance in her voice.

"You are way too wasted for this" I inform her trying to push her off of me, but she was putting up a fight.

"I'm not that wasted. The room isn't spinning, I know what two plus two is and I know that this is what I want, now will you please shut up and kiss me."

I was about to say something but her lips attached mine before I could get anything out. She pulls her shirt over her head and I see that she knows what she's doing. She is so beautiful. I roll her onto her back and pull off her jeans in one fluid motion. I have taken clothes off a number of girls but when it came to taking off the last few pieces I just couldn't do it. She's a virgin, I'm taking something away from her she can never get back. I wouldn't have thought twice about taking someone's virginity except this was my best friend and I actually cared about her feelings. She must have gotten impatient because she begins to take off those last pieces by herself. That was the last sign I needed to step up myself.

She was warm underneath me. I started slow and gentle and she kept begging for more. My name passed her lips and as hushed moan and we both lost ourselves in that moment. The sound of panting was all that filled the room. I held her through the night, it was the most peaceful night either of us had ever had. She's the only one who made their way into my bed and into my heart and after that night she never left either.