A/N: This is a short humourous (hopefully) story about Gilderoy Lockhart and his conversation with the mirror.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters and every other character that I happen to mention....
Magical...Me-Mirror.
'I just cannot decided which robe to wear, Gladys.' Lockhart mused noisily to his newest healer at his residence of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, a place at which he had been living at happily for the past three years since his awful incident at the school.
A plump, joyful appearing healer adjusted her glasses on the edge of her nose as she squinted through them, looking at Lockhart's many assortment of robes, all of which were in neon to florescent pink and blue. 'Ah yes, well.' she tilted her head to the side, reaching out to touch the hem of a rather sodden-looking dull pink robe with bright pink hearts.
Lockhart slapped her hand away impatiently,' Ah-ah! No touching!' he said with a sly grin, 'That one was...,' he paused for a moment, a look of deep concentration taking over his glowing face, 'Well I don't remember!' he finished hurriedly, 'But I know it was special.'
The healer beamed with delight, 'You seem to be getting more memory day by day Locky! Soon enough you will be able to leave this cramped place!' she said, waving her hand around in indication to his small room, crammed with a huge standing oak framed mirror, a lumpy looking bed, and a huge wardrobe. Every square inch of the wall covered with grinning pictures of Gilderoy Lockhart himself.
Lockhart's lips twisted into a tremendous pout. 'I don't want to leave! You want me to leave? I don't want me to leave!' He ripped a shocking purple robe out of his wardrobe and slammed it shut, tears brimming in his luscious blue eyes. 'Now...go...away...Gladys...' he snivelled, 'I am going to get naked now ...a-and put on my clothes!'
Gladys smiled gently and nodded, turning on her heel towards the door which covered from side to side with a life size portrait of himself.
'Gladys?' Lockhart called out to her.
'Yes?'
'Oh...never mind...'
'All right dear.'
She closed the door behind herself leaving Lockhart in complete silence, every one of his pictures blinking stupidly at one another.
'Hmm.' Lockhart held his robe closely to himself. 'Hmm.' he repeated.
He stopped abruptly in front of the tall wooden mirror, looking at it skeptically.
His reflection smiled brightly at him, every blond curl in place, his livid blue eyes sparkling against the smooth, clean glass.
'Good Morning!' His reflection beamed, looking Lockhart up and down. 'You look well today, very well in-deed. I see you're keeping up with myself, got to look good always, eh?' He added with a wink. Lockhart blushed.
'What do you think about this robe?' Lockhart asked his reflection, holding it up against himself.
His reflections nose crumbled into a sneer. 'My dear Locky, what have they been feeding you?'
Lockhart stumbled back, gaping at his own reflection. 'D-do I really look like...I've gained some weight?' He tilted his head to the side, thoughtfully observing himself in the full length mirror. His reflection looked pale.
'How could you let this happen to me? To us!' it groaned, smacking itself upon his head.
Lockhart stumbled back, falling onto his bed.
'You–you slapped me!' He shouted at his reflection, tears welling up in his eyes.
His reflection looked smug. 'No dear, you slapped yourself.'
Shrugging, Lockhart started to untie the front of his night shirt, his mid-second slap forgotten in an instant.
'Dear Lord!'
Lockhart looked up, startled.
'What is it?'
'Is that a ... a blemish?' His reflection squinted hard at Lockhart as Lockhart let out a gasp of surprise.
'I–I didn't think it was noticeable!' he said, clasping his hand firmly over the side of his chin. 'I only got it last night! I–er...possibly it came while I was sleeping! Oh heavens! I don't know...' he paused, looking up at his reflection, 'is it that noticeable?'
His reflection shook his head, 'Take a closer look.'
His shirt laying opened slightly, Lockhart walked up cautiously to the mirror looking into it.
'I don't– Arrgh!' Lockhart jumped back, grabbing his nose in alarm, 'You! You PINCHED my nose!' He let out a soft whimper and closed his eyes, 'Why are you so mean to me today?'
His reflection pouted, looking down at it's hands. 'I'm sorry...I don't know...it's I guess...me.'
Lockhart looked up, 'You? Me? You mean me?'
'What?'
'Me?'
'No...me.'
'You?...me?'
'Huh?'
'Wha–?'
'Ooh!' His reflection let out a sharp squeal of delight.
Lockhart had taken off his shirt all the way, his skin exposed.
'You look positively stunning!'
Lockhart beamed, 'You think so? Or are you just being nice to me?' He added with a playful wink.
His reflection shrugged, 'Catch on quickly you dolt, you do.'
His smile faded, 'Oh ... well...' He quickly pulled his robes over the top of his head, leaving his hair in a dishevelled state.
'Comb, quickly, I can't look!' His reflection covered his eyes with his hands–which was sporting sparkly green nail polish.
'I – I can't see! Oomf!' Lockhart rammed into the corner of his wardrobe, 'Ah-ha!'
His reflection opened his eyes as Lockhart waltzed back in front of the mirror.
He hummed a merry tune as he combed through his bleach-blond hair. 'Aah...perfect' He finished, tossing the comb onto his un-made bed.
'You're aging you old goat'
Lockhart's smile quickly faded from his face.
'I–what...I ...,' He peered at his reflection more closely. 'You need to stop being so crude to me!' his lower lip trembled with threat.
His reflection stared back at him blankly, 'But I–I'm your reflection–I thought...'
'Well you thought wrong!' Lockhart spat haughtily, slapping his own reflection, resulting in his fingers smacking against the hard surface of the mirror.
'Ow!' He cried, sucking on his fingers.
Gladys rushed in instantly, as though she was waiting right outside his door.
'Did you hurt yourself Locky?'
'I–my...my reflection provoked me! He–he...'
Gladys chuckled silently, 'Oh Locky...do learn sweetie...USE the mouth guard I gave you...then you won't end up taunting yourself in the mirror again–remember last time?'
Lockhart cringed with a small whimper, remembering his toe.
Sniffling to himself, he allowed Gladys to guide him out the door and down to the cafeteria, his morning chat with himself forgotten almost instantly.
A/N: Eeee!!....boost my self-esteem. -Points to Box- Love to all! :-D