So I decided to write a quick little one shot to stem the frustrations of a sudden bout of writer's block on my other stories. It will most likely remain a one shot unless I become plagued with any more writer's block and decide to add a few more related to it.
Just a bit of background information; Quinn and Rachel have been dating since senior year of high school, but immediately following graduation, Quinn enlisted in the Marines. Quinn and Rachel are now 20 years old and Quinn is being deployed to Afghanistan for the first time. Also, Rachel and Quinn have been married for about six months here.
Hope you enjoy!
It's cold.
The weather – as you are aware – is unusual for Lima at this time of the year. It is cold but extraordinary situations no longer faze you. The only means by which you are able to judge is the miniature brunette that stands before you, looking uncomfortable in nothing but a thin dress and a pull over sweater. Her eyes avoid your own strategically as she wraps her small arms protectively across her torso.
Extraordinary situations no longer faze you, but you know that the same cannot be said for her.
Your last goodbyes have already been torturous, and they haven't even started yet.
Last night, she had barely spoken to you. Instead, she had spent your precious last moments together memorizing every inch of your body, every contour of your face.
Prominent absences combined with ever devoted faith has taught you that words are not always required to project an energy such as that which had sweltered between the two of your bodies just last night. You had fallen away from each other wishing that it could never end.
Earlier this morning, during a time that you know you should have been taking advantage of what little sleep you will be allotted this week, you had instead defied the primal instinct. Your eyes were closed, but you were wide awake the entire time.
The girl laying beside you, the one that has since learned to replace a tempurpedic pillow with your own muscular shoulders, had been fitful in her slumber that night.
You envision her vivid nightmares, imagine her restless unease and immediately understand that you are to blame.
The guilt is immediate.
Always the notoriously fidgety sleeper, halfway through the night when she had rolled over and out of your arms, you had forced yourself to resist the urge to pull her back into them. Practice, you had told yourself; for when the option is no longer there.
Now, the more that you look at her, the more that you regret this brash decision.
She'd thought that she had woken up before you; a silly presumption considering your internal alarm clock has been set at 0500 since Parris Island. But you had decided to give her the victory alongside the understanding that today she will need it more than you do.
You pretended that you were still asleep but still, could not help yourself but to peek through half lidded eyes as she'd slipped a handwritten note inside of your already packed duffle, wrapped protectively about a photo of the two of you on your wedding day.
You recognize it immediately as the one from your wedding day, the same one that you always keep tucked inside of the lining of your helmet.
Still, you remain coy so that she can get through these next eight months believing that you get by your own in the form of a surprise that you would have found at the bottom of your bag the second that you land on foreign soil have you not grown so curious, snooping while your wife had been in the shower.
To the Love of My Life,
Her pristine, loopy handwriting imprints itself across the surface of your brain. You are not even out of Ohio yet and you already have the note memorized.
You make me so complete that sometimes I think it may be beyond my words. In my eyes, you are the greatest thing that has ever walked this Earth. Carry this love with you no matter how far apart we may be, or how long it will take before we meet again. I have every faith that you will come home to me safe so that we may finally create our own happy family. We have so much to look forward to, Quinn as soon as you get back to me!
Always remember that I will be waiting for you, loving you beyond belief and thinking about you every single second of every single day.
Even when we are apart, I am always by your side. I am so proud of everything that you do. Please come back to me safely.
Love always,
Rachel
"Are you okay?"
When you finally do realize that there are tears inside of your eyes you sink in the proud reminder that your dedicated relationship is held together by not one piece of eternal courage, but two.
You take comfort in the idea that in terms of experience, you will never be alone.
You had barely received your high school diploma before you were on a plane to Parris Island. At the time, your rocky relationship had been new, uncertain… Twelve weeks later, there she was.
When your MOS had sent you across the country, she was the one that had hung up her microphones for your dog tags. When it had sent you back, she was the one that had followed you to the ends of the Earth and back.
She has survived just as much as you but you cannot help but to be terrified that your first deployment will immediately become the breaking point.
"Yeah," Taking a quick glance about the crowded bus depot, it becomes suddenly obvious that you have never before seen so many sad faces than those that stand before you today… You easily distinguish the first timers from those plagued by multiple deployments. Their spouses and children look almost bored, experienced… You can only wonder how in the world it is that they can stay so strong.
You silently believe that this will never be you.
"I'm just thinking about how much I'm going to miss you is all." Her sad smile broadens; it is lubricated with tears that you want nothing more than to wipe away although your arms remain securely at your side.
You take comfort in the knowledge that she will be okay; that she will complete the semester at NYADA that she had missed following your dreams, that she will accomplish her goals and better herself while she finally has the time to do it.
But she does not respond to you verbally. Instead, the pint sized diva practically knocks the wind straight from your lungs as she launches herself in a surprise attack, wrapping her arms across the back of your neck before squeezing tightly.
You are taken aback but not nearly enough to not reciprocate the affectionate expression.
The instant that you feel her tears soaking through the skin of your neck, you become terrified that you are going to lose it entirely.
You have never once regretted your decision to serve, but a choking sob as emitted from the throat of your girlfriend has you suddenly unable to remember why it was that you had signed up at all.
When the call finally does come for you to board onto the bus, she makes no indication that she has even heard it.
Instead, you feel as her face buries deeper into the crook of your neck. You wonder honestly whether or not she will attempt to stay here forever in her insistencies that if they are going to take you, they are going to have to take her too.
The idea is almost laughable; as if you would ever risk something that is so irreplaceably precious to you like her like that.
Still, when she finally does detach, it takes every ounce of your being to let her go.
"Can you tell me what it means?" She hiccups gently and for a brief moment, you cannot for the life of you figure out what it is that she is talking about… Then your eyes follow the motions of the index finger of her right hand, watching transfixed as she traces with her nail, the symbolic outline of the eagle, globe and anchor pinned on to your lapel.
She knows exactly what it means she has already heard it a million times. She simply needs to hear you repeat it once more.
"Semper fidelis," You close your eyes against her touch in the understanding that its ghost is soon to become all that you will have to get you by. "It means always faithful… It means that I'm coming back to you, Rachel…"
"I love you." She attempts stability, but her words are moist as they bubble off of the tip of her tongue.
"I love you too…" Your tone dips alongside the motions of your head. She is so much shorter than you that you both must crane your necks in order to comfortably secure your lips… You remember her laughing the first time that the two of you had kissed, informing you that this is why you were perfect.
Seconds that feel like weeks pass; the sun rising and setting all around you as the universe spirals about your connected forms. Breathing having become much too a difficult task to ask of you, you enlist in her to help remind you. Pulling away will easily become the equivalent of death.
When you finally do pull your lips off of her own, you ensure that your foreheads remain firmly locked against one another's. Your hands reach upwards and around the back of her head, fingers weaving through hair that feels like silk. Your eyes close as you inhale. You want to memorize every last inch of her in the physical before all that you will have to remember her by is a grainy image on a computer screen half a world away once a month or so. "I love you more than the world…"
"Fabray, let's go!"
When you do turn your back, you choose not to look behind you. You have already been warned to never count the days; that you will do better by yourself instead adding up the months… It is simply easier in the reminder of just how many there are left.
You haven't even left yet and already, this seems impossible so that the second you take your seat, you immediately begin digging for you planner, placing a large X across today; praying for the day that the number of calendar spaces between you and her is finally crossed out.